Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club

01 May 15 - 10:48 AM (#3705723)
Subject: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

On Monday night I set off for the Sun Inn, home of Stockton Folk Club. I am no longer a car driver but use local bus services.   I was carrying my handbag (but only enough money for my evening out) and a shopping bag with the words of my latest poem in it and also a small djembe for use in the knurdle at the start of the evening. I am a poet, storyteller and singer. Sometimes I also carry a ukulele and music stand. I got off my bus in Stockton High Street and was about to cross the road when a woman came up to me. "I want your bag," she said. Before I knew what was happening she had punched me in the face. She punched me several times. Staff at nearby COSTA heard my screams and cries for help. They rushed out and chased this woman away and one of the COSTA staff ran after my attacker down a nearby street. Police caught the woman and she has been arrested and charged. The police have done everything correctly. I had my injuries checked, including an X-ray of face but luckily have only cuts and bruises, that are already starting to heal.
People have been very supportive - singers, poets, storytellers and friends. Injuries are healing and I am in good spirits. Didn't get to Stockton Folk Club on Monday but did make it to the Welly last night.
My post is not for sympathy. I am not the only person who uses a bus to get to folk clubs. I do get lifts but not always. Post is to ask for people to share tips on how we stay safe while we enjoy folk music. Thank you.
Diane

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01 May 15 - 10:56 AM (#3705725)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,#

Learn a martial art. See if someone near you teaches wing chun or street self-defense. Other than that, I see no other way given the circumstances.

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01 May 15 - 11:01 AM (#3705727)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

Well, it's one option, thank you.

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01 May 15 - 11:24 AM (#3705732)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,#

It doesn't take years to become adept enough to deal with the perpetrator of your experience. Wing chun will take six months, and many other street-proofing techniques, mostly simple but effective methods of convincing someone quickly that you are not an easy target, can take as little as three months. You do not have to be built like Schwarzenegger or particularly 'young'. (Wing chun was invented by a woman who weighted somewhere near eight stone, if that.)

Others may have better ideas. Good luck to you.

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01 May 15 - 11:32 AM (#3705733)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST

Carry a sword and a hefty stick,
if the police stop and search you tell 'em you're a morris dancer.

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01 May 15 - 11:53 AM (#3705739)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: The Sandman

I am sorry to hear of your experience Diane.

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01 May 15 - 01:15 PM (#3705760)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Stim

Sorry, and sad that it happened.

When I was researching for a violence prevention program we got interviews from incarcerated attackers who explained how they selected their targets. It's important for you to know that before you were attacked, and before you even saw your assailant, she saw you, and decided that you were an easy target.

Not to be critical, but when you stepped off the bus, you were thinking about all the things that you were carrying, and not about the environment that you were stepping into. And your hands were full, which meant that you could neither defend yourself nor get away quickly.

The key is to plan ahead-know where you will be safe, know where you will be exposed, and develop strategies for moving quickly through the places you are vulnerable.

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01 May 15 - 01:24 PM (#3705763)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: BillOC

I use a cane occasionally, and was taught some defensive moves using the cane. Carry your music stand. If attacked, a quick thrust to the gut will take away the attacker's breath and enthusiasm.

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01 May 15 - 01:27 PM (#3705765)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Backwoodsman

Can you arrange to travel in the company of others to and from the club? The old adage is true, "There's safety in numbers".

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01 May 15 - 02:51 PM (#3705774)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Leadfingers

Only advice I could give is to NOT look like a victim , though I am not sure how to do that ! I have walked , on my own (Contra Queens Regs) in down town Aden and never even been close to a grenade attack
Also walked through Harlem at midnight in the mid seventies without incident . I seem to naturally NOT look like a victim though I am NOT a Big Bloke , so I will just offer commisserations

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01 May 15 - 02:52 PM (#3705775)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,MikeL2

Hi

Sorry to hear of your unfortunate experience.

I don't have any advice other than perhaps not carry a handbag that is obvious to see.

As an amateur photographer I go out walking sometimes in remote spots. These days I no longer carry my large expensive camera & equipment. I use an excellent small camera that can be easily carried in a pocket. Also I now don't carry my wallet with all my cash and credit cards etc when out walking alone.. I just take a small amount.

Sad times we live in,

Regards
MikeL2

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01 May 15 - 03:00 PM (#3705778)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Ebbie

Re looking like a victim, I had a visceral experience from the other side. I am still somewhat mortified.

I was standing on a overpass walkway when I saw a woman approaching me on the sidewalk below. She was 50ish, walking slowly, defeatedly, apparently oblivious to her surroundings.

She looked like a victim and for an instant I wanted to shake her or swear at her or tell her - loudly - to go home.

I didn't do any of those things. Without comment I let her pass below me. But I've never forgotten my reaction.

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01 May 15 - 04:10 PM (#3705793)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST

I am sorry to read of this, Diane. Don't let the b******s like that get you down. Take care
Charlie.

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01 May 15 - 04:35 PM (#3705796)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Stim

Part of it is making sure that you look like you belong wherever you are-another part is to walk and move like you know where you're going and what you are doing-uncertainty and being out of place are signs that you are vulnerable.

Another trick is to make yourself look unattractive, unkempt, or even vaguely hostile so that people avoid you. The kids do this with their tattoos, colored hair, piercings, and industrial goth clothing, and it works (sometimes too well).

The suggestion to travel with company is probably the best, and simplest advice. Along with that, don't carry so much--no more than you can fit in a backpack, on your back so your arms and hands are free.

And good luck with the backpack--many of the people I see on the Metro have a backpack/briefcase/courier bag *and* a tote bag, and more than a few are "Ba-Ba Black Sheep", because they've got three bags full.

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01 May 15 - 04:56 PM (#3705798)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST

Sorry to hear of your attack. Hope you are recovering.
A shoulder bag crossways over the body leaves the hands free to carry an umbrella .A swift tap with the umbrella over the wrists of an attacker if the stomach is too far away is quite a good deterrent as is a very loud noise think New Zealand hakka.

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01 May 15 - 05:02 PM (#3705799)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Penny S.

A cross body bag big enough for what you were carrying in the shopping bag might be better than a back pack for sitting on the bus. I've got one that sits under my arm, and might even hold a ukelele!

And get an alarm - your local police should be able to advise you.

A friend of mine carrying nothing but some posters and drawing pins was jumped in Dulwich*, and I don't think he looks like a victim.


Penny


*Probably West Norwood, actually. But Dulwich sounds funnier.

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02 May 15 - 04:02 AM (#3705860)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Musket

Awful to read of this. Interestingly, a mate and I went to a folk club the other night and whilst we don't go to it often, most there know us, so we weren't strangers.

We gave a lift home to a couple of ladies who would have walked (in different directions) had we not offered a lift. We said it isn't nice walking through the town centre at night alone for them.

Brings it home to us, reading this.

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02 May 15 - 04:38 AM (#3705865)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Morris-ey

Stockton High Street ain't downtown LA.

I doubt Diane needs to do anything to be more safe.

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02 May 15 - 04:45 AM (#3705866)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Guest

Sorry to hear about this. I've little advice that would be helpful in your particular case apart from what others have already said, particularly about not carrying too much and perhaps not carrying things that look as if they're expensive or easy to steal/sell on.

As far as being aware is concerned: I went to Teignmouth Folk Club not long ago and parked about 100m away down the street. (Teignmouth is hardly a hotbed of anarchy and crime.) As I left at about 23.00, I went to my car and put my guitar on the back seat, noticing two men walking down the street in my direction. I'd just got in the car and shut the door when I saw in the mirror that they were veering across the road towards my car. They didn't look particularly drunk or threatening but neither did they look as if they were lost or looking for directions. I hit the central locking mechanism just as one came up and tried to open the rear door. Our eyes met in the mirror where I'd been watching him and he just shrugged, then they both walked on their way. I still don't know what they wanted; to ask for a lift (why not come to he driver's window?), to try to take my guitar (?): whatever I'm glad I was aware of their presence and quick enough with the door lock. It's always worth being aware of what's going on round you.

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02 May 15 - 05:25 AM (#3705870)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST

With a car always set the anti-hijack locking (one click for drivers door only, two for the rest), the facility is probably there but may not be the default, check the handbook.

If there are dodgy people around lock the car after putting things in the back and then unlock the drivers door only. Never drive with the doors unlocked.

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02 May 15 - 05:52 AM (#3705873)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Blandiver (Sedayne)

So sorry to hear this. Good to see you're still going out, which can be hardest part after a trauma of this nature, which can cut pretty deep. Hope things are okay.

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02 May 15 - 10:23 AM (#3705917)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Sol

A defence weapon used by ladies in bygone days was a hat pin.
A jab from that apparently gave would be muggers second thoughts.

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02 May 15 - 11:10 AM (#3705924)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Big Al Whittle

just one more part of the wonderful Thatcher legacy. before she disembowelled the manufacturing industry of the country, these people had jobs and were too busy saving up to pay their mortgages and buy fitted carpets. now they have drug problems live no one cares where on the edges of our society.

Remember that when you vote for Cameron. Apparently he has plans for 15 million pound centre celebrating the great lady'd life and achievements.

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02 May 15 - 11:17 AM (#3705928)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

Thank you all. I will look through all your ideas. I am considering going to my local sewing person (I get all my trousers shortened) to see if she can make me an inside pocket for my jacket/s. My bruises are fading and I am in good spirits.

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02 May 15 - 04:35 PM (#3705964)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Rumncoke

The only time I really needed it, my karate training came in very handy. I did slightly damage a finger as the attack was sudden, and in broad daylight just off a busy high street.

I didn't hurt the young man - except dented his pride and his standing with his little gang, I hope.

We do need to be cautious, as not every encounter ends well and knives are far more common these days.

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03 May 15 - 04:57 AM (#3706014)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Blandiver (Sedayne)

Not sure if revenge, retribution, retaliation or Tabloid Tales of Horror is the way to go here. Hatpins? Swords? Good grief! Fact is, most of us (and I'm sure Diane too until this unfortunate incident) can happily go through life without meeting violence / violent crime in any shape or form outside of dramas on TV - or the endless sensationalism in the papers - much less the murky savage realms of The Brothers Grimm - or the bloodier realms of Traditional Folksong & Ballad if it comes to that. It is, in any case, EXCEPTIONAL and people are, for the most part, GOOD.

The important thing here is that one is open enough to more effective channels of personal healing & empowerment than feeling it necessary to tool oneself up or else let one terrible incident define ones life thereafter.

This seems like a good place to start : GOV.UK : Get support as a victim of crime

Hope you can bounce back triumphant, Diane - with your essential self-respect, dignity & humanity in tact, and with no need of weapons to feel safe on familiar streets. Sadly, shit happens; happily, this is often just the beginning of a STORY which will lead to a Happy Ever After.

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03 May 15 - 07:25 AM (#3706026)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: MGM·Lion

Of course, Al. Everyone knows that Maggie invented crime, and there were no such things as theft or mugging until six weeks into her first term in office!

Best regards

≈M≈

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03 May 15 - 08:24 AM (#3706043)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Big Al Whittle

You had to be in the North to see the scale of the disaster, Mike.

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03 May 15 - 09:03 AM (#3706057)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

MGM·Lion - an objective and relatively unbiased sociologist might look at the rapid increase in heroin use
and crimes of theft, muggings, etc under thatcher in the early 1980s;
and correlate this with mass redundancies, restrictions on youth housing benefits,
and the emerging tory espoused & encouraged yuppie values of "greed is good"......

Even hippy peace and love Glastonbury Festival was hit by a crime wave
of tent thefts and assaults in the early 1980s...
[popularly blamed on an invasion of skint unemployed northern youths
climbing over the pre security intensified barriers]

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03 May 15 - 09:29 AM (#3706059)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Blandiver (Sedayne)

Can we keep this grubby pro / anti Thatcher apologism / scapegoating off this thread & have some respect for the OP? Poor lass will be traumatised enough with you lot squabbling on. Note where we are here - ABOVE the line. Behave yourselves, or else open another thread down there...

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03 May 15 - 09:41 AM (#3706063)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

just providing a little context..

I was actually a victim support volunteer for a few years in an inner city in the mid 80s...

[no seriously, I really was...]

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03 May 15 - 10:52 AM (#3706079)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: MGM·Lion

Oh, so nobody ever committed any crimes before that?; and that made it OK to do so now, did it?

Well that's all right then eh!

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03 May 15 - 11:11 AM (#3706083)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

MGM·Lion - oh come on now, seriously...???

You know it's fair and valid to discuss the scale and nature of the perceived/reality 'epidemic' of crimes
that may be considered to result directly from fall out
of 1980s thatcherite policies and socio-economic engineering...???

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03 May 15 - 11:47 AM (#3706095)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: ranger1

Diane, do check into some sort of victim services, as there can be delayed reactions to assaults. Also, taking some sort of self-defense class never hurts, and many of them are also good for physical fitness. They don't have to be full-contact martial arts classes to be useful. I'm a female park ranger in a state where park rangers aren't armed and I frequently am the only park staff on duty. Taking a martial arts class back in uni was helpful. Sometimes just giving off the "I can handle myself" vibe is all it takes to not "look like a victim".

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03 May 15 - 11:57 AM (#3706101)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST

"just one more part of the wonderful Thatcher legacy"
As somebody who was attacked outside a folk club eight years before Thatcher came to power I don't think that she can take all the blame.

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03 May 15 - 12:00 PM (#3706102)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Jack Campin

Time spent training to be a ninja is time taken away from stories or music, and dressing up like Lara Croft is OTT for dealing with a potential random assault from a spaced-out gluesniffer.

Looks like Northerner is doing a good job of putting this episode into the past.

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03 May 15 - 12:02 PM (#3706103)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: ranger1

Jack, an hour a week for six weeks or so hardly constitutes a huge time suck. But whatever.

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03 May 15 - 12:19 PM (#3706115)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

GUEST - so... I was attacked in a snooker club while thatcher was in power...
and of course it would be just as silly for me to say she was directly responsible for that...???
Besides which, she had an alibi placing her elsewhere that particular night...😜

Also GUEST.. As for the safety of people in the vicinity of folk clubs from the 1970s onwards,
is there a pattern emerging...???

were you carrying a bodhran...!!!???


Ok.. seriously

I don't know how much victim support has changed in the near 30 years since I was involved..
back then it worked for some 'victims' and not for others..

but if Northerner feels like giving them a call for an informal chat...

What I learned from being a volunteer in a 'rough' city centre
back when I was a skinny long haired student looking type
was to try to always appear confidently as if I had every right to be on that street.

No looking lost, hesitant, or openly thumbing through A-Z street maps..

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03 May 15 - 03:44 PM (#3706168)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Big Al Whittle

my apologies, you Thatcher voters must have much on your comscience. no intention of stirring those troubled consciences.

if you really see no connection with the maelstrom of broken homes, hopeless poverty, and unemployment that Thatch veited on this country and street crime. I sort of feel sorry for you.

denise's relations from near where you live used to come and visit us and say - recession! what recession.   you see as a tory voter you were bribed.

You inheritors of Maggie - vote for Cameron !   You deserve each other.

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04 May 15 - 08:55 AM (#3706329)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Greg F.

As somebody who was attacked outside a folk club eight years before Thatcher came to power I don't think that she can take all the blame.

All the blame? Of course not. Just most of it. Nobody's perfect.

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04 May 15 - 10:15 AM (#3706348)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: olddude

Kuntao always served me well

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04 May 15 - 12:23 PM (#3706385)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge

I `ad that Big Al Whittle in my cab the other day. `e was going on about Maggie duffing up people going to their Folk Club with `er `andbag and nicking their tambourines.
I said, "Morning Al. I see you`ve been stirring up that Mudcat again saying Thatcher was the cause of all the street crime and `ardship."
`e said, "That`s Right Jim. With a stroke of `er `and she brought the industrial might down to it`s knees putting thousands out of work."
I said, "Oh, so it was nothing to do with the Far East producing ships, cars, motorcycles, watches, cameras, televisions, and all manner of consumer goods, at rock-bottom prices, well made and designed, that we soaked up like a sponge because Europe and the U.S. could not compete on price."
`e said, "Oh yeah. Well, that and all!!"


Whaddam I Like??

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04 May 15 - 01:40 PM (#3706405)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Big Al Whittle

round about the same time English factories were producing shite, so was the Skoda factory. then they got took over by a company tha invested in modern design teams and modern track.

capital in England resides in the hands of people who always go for the quick return with no hard work and showing no responsibility to the society in which they are privileged to live.

if theres a job to done - get Chinese peasants. coal to be dug - get south american child labour. the quickest return, the more loot back in the swiss bank account.

the result - whether you like it or not is that our streets now play hosts to all manner of reprobates, outcasts and losers. and strahgely enough - the situation is worse in the very towns and cities that were the workshops of our nation.

take pride in the unspeakable results of voting tory.

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04 May 15 - 04:06 PM (#3706441)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Dave

This appears to be legal to carry.

You can buy pepper spray on ebay, but that probably isn't legal.

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05 May 15 - 09:33 AM (#3706613)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Mr Red

I walk a lot (in daylight) between bus stops, I hate waiting. Often I am holding what is like a walking pole, but is actually a fishing pole (not a rod).

Cars in a side road approaching the main road are legally obliged to give way if you are crossing the side road at the junction.

Let us just say more cars wait for me if I have the pole, and especially if it is thrust out in front. And behind to prevent them getting too close. They get the message. I look like I am purposeful. It works.

As a man I don't like carrying (eg) man-bags but prefer to carry essentials in a bum bag, located at the front, usually covered by a jacket. Wallet is in trousers side pocket (never back pocket). Phone on a lanyard, long enough to reach the bum bag where is sits. These are convenient arrangements but it is a conscious decision re security. Although I don't carry it now, I have a personal alarm that doubles as a torch, I bought it from my local police station. It is loud.

Worth a thought - wear trousers/jeans and put money/cards in pockets. Walk with a stride, and a walking pole, they have sharp tips. If nothing else it will make you feel safer.

And if in doubt - play the djembe very loud at them and if you carry a banjo - you never know - they might put another in your carrier bag! Instead.

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05 May 15 - 09:45 AM (#3706620)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

Thank you all. I will look into what is available locally in the way of support for victims. I was in good spirits for the first few days but now my emotions are all over the place. A bit of counselling could help with that. Good news is that the incident hasn't affected me as a performer. Wrote another poem at the weekend and hope to try it out tonight at the Cutty Wren Folk Club. Diane

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06 May 15 - 04:31 AM (#3706774)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Doug Chadwick

Never drive with the doors unlocked

This is not good advice.

If I drive into a lamp post, it's no comfort knowing that I'm safe from muggers if my rescuers can't drag me from the burning car.

DC

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06 May 15 - 05:06 AM (#3706778)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

Northerner - I'd encourage at least an informal chat with your local victim support volunteers
if you feel shaken up by the bad experience..

I'm long out of touch with the state of current Victim Support Schemes,
but the group I was involved in as a volunteer 30ish years ago
was very good and well resourced.

Training for giving practical advice and counselling was taken very seriously.
The skills level of volunteers involved was quite 'professional'.
They weren't just a bunch of well intentioned ineffectual amateur do-gooders.

I was probably one of the youngest and least experienced,
as a new graduate testing myself out if I was suitable for a career
in some kind of social work
[one of the usual career paths, along with teaching or media/journalism, for my particular degree].

Very valuable life experience in my mid 20s,
but it helped me understand I wasn't cut out to be a Social Worker.

take care...

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06 May 15 - 05:40 AM (#3706788)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,JHW

'Never drive with the doors unlocked'
My Roomster came with auto central locking as soon as you drove off though it did promise to unlock in the event of disaster.
I didn't trust a computer to get it right when the chips were down so had it disabled. Can of course choose to lock.

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06 May 15 - 08:21 AM (#3706845)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Penny S.

Balance of probabilities - intruder or serious car accident, which is most likely of two rare occurrences in the area being driven through? I keep my doors locked.

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06 May 15 - 08:27 AM (#3706849)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Keith A of Hertford

if theres a job to done - get Chinese peasants. coal to be dug - get south american child labour.

The coal was from Australia.

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06 May 15 - 09:20 AM (#3706867)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Backwoodsman

"it's no comfort knowing that I'm safe from muggers if my rescuers can't drag me from the burning car."

Precisely how my neighbour died back in the 90s. The passers-by who tried to help were traumatised by the guy's screams as he burned to death.

I'll take my chances with the thieves, I value my life far more than my wallet or mobile phone.

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06 May 15 - 09:50 AM (#3706873)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Big Al Whittle

give the tories a few more years, let them close a few more mental hospitals, create a few more low wage jobs that the illegal immigrants are fighting to get -generally a bit more like America. a few more pages of the cradle to grave promise torn up that were made to our parents for fighting the war.....



you'll be locking your car doors

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06 May 15 - 10:22 AM (#3706882)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Doug Chadwick

Balance of probabilities - intruder or serious car accident

I don't think I know anybody personally who has be the victim of car-jacking. On the other hand, I know lots of people who have had car accidents - regrettably, some of them serious.

DC

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06 May 15 - 10:33 AM (#3706886)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Rapparee

Act assured: You know where you're going, you know what you're going top do, and you will be going to get it done.

Don't keep anything in your hands if you can avoid it. Be aware of your surroundings; look both ways when you get off a bus, out of a car, leave a building.

At night, a small metal flashlight (torch) shouldn't be any problem to carry: use it to "light your path" and if someone comes up to you you can flick the light beam across their eyes, disconcerting them, effectively ruining their night vision, and VERY temporarily blinding them...giving you time to leave the area. Of course, you leave the area immediately!

Screaming is also a good idea.

Locking car doors is a very good idea -- at least in the US, cars rarely burst into flames or explode when they hit something or fall off a cliff (unless you live in Hollywood). Unless there's a spark of some kind, gas (petrol) doesn't ignite even if it leaks from a cracked tank. And locking the doors can prevent you from being thrown out of a car during an accident.

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06 May 15 - 11:49 AM (#3706904)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Morris-ey

re:locking car doors. Lock when not moving, unlock when moving (if you ars so afraid of the very rare crime (in the UK) of car jacking)- it is not difficult.

Being mugged is also rare. Self-defence classe are fine to build confidence but any good instructor will tell you that resorting to it is very much the last resort. Carrying "weapons" is also not a very good idea because, even if you are willing to assault in self-defence an attacker (and many are not or cannot) the chances are he/she will either be better armed or skilled or will take your weapon and beat the shit out of you with it.

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06 May 15 - 12:01 PM (#3706908)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Jack Campin

[locking your car from the inside]
it's no comfort knowing that I'm safe from muggers if my rescuers can't drag me from the burning car.
Precisely how my neighbour died back in the 90s. The passers-by who tried to help were traumatised by the guy's screams as he burned to death.

The car doesn't need to crash, either. There have been incidents of drivers having heart attacks in locked cars and being left to die because nobody could get them out in time.

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06 May 15 - 01:19 PM (#3706927)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker

"the chances are he/she will either be better armed or skilled
or will take your weapon and beat the shit out of you with it."


I only wear reasonably stylish steel toe cap safety boots when out & about...😉


[long time ago.. my dad gave me the benefit of his wisdom from RAF national service 'training'...

"Go straight for their knees and ankles son.. then leg it as fast as you can..."]

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06 May 15 - 04:52 PM (#3706970)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Linda

Diane:

I am truly sorry you had to go through this terrible assault and crime against you. I can definitely relate as similar situation happened to me many years ago where I was living at in California.

I too had gotten off a bus about 7:30PM after work (winter time and so it was dark out at the time) I stopped into a grocery store right near the bus stop to pick up a some groceries and then began my walk home about 2 blocks. I got to my apt. building and walked to my apt which was on the 2nd floor. I had my keys already in my hand as I approached my front door (lived alone) Then I saw this guy walking along the balcony towards me. I didn't think too much about it as there were 24 apts. there although I knew most people who lived there I didn't know every person there. Also, people have friends & visitors come over so it didn't alarm me at first. (that I didn't recognize him.) This crime occurred at my apt. building (not on the street)
The guy came up to me ( I had not yet put my keys in my door lock) and said, "Do you know where such and such a person lives?"
The name he gave me did not sound familiar but I was very polite and told him that he could go to the manager's apt and maybe they could help him and told him what apt the manager was in.

Then all of a sudden he grabbed my purse, I had the grocery bag still in my other hand. He took off running with my purse and I started to scream. A few people opened their doors but the guy ran so fast and got away. Once I got into my apt. I called the police and they came out.
He was never caught ( I had not seen or noticed him before I got to my building) but one lady at the apts said he had gotten into a car in front of bldg. but she could not see the license plate and not sure even what kind of car it was and had taken off so fast He was never caught and I never had my purse/contents returned. So I had to call credit card companies, get a new I.D.s etc. It was truly a horrible experience. So I do know and understand what you went through.
I was not assaulted physically by the guy though. I am a small person, only about 5'1" so maybe the guy saw a "easy opportunity" when he robbed me.

A few weeks after this happened I read about a class in the newspaper that met on Saturdays for several weeks for victims of crimes. I went to that class on Saturday mornings and there were about 7 or 8 people who had also been victims (different type of crimes) A professional person conducted the class who helped victims of crimes. It was helpful. I don't recall who sponsored the class/maybe a local police dept. but not sure. It was a free class that met Saturday mornings for about 3 or 4 weeks.

Is there anyone who goes to the club who lives near you and could take you/bring you home? Perhaps if you offer to give them a little money towards their gas/petrol for driving you might help.

Have you looked into what it would cost for a taxi? Perhaps you could call the taxi company ahead of time to ask for an approximate price to drive from your home address to the address of the club. I realize that it might be expensive depending on the distance though so might not be an option for you.

Do the people who run the club or attendees know what happened to you?

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07 May 15 - 03:46 AM (#3707070)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Mr Red

Never drive with the doors unlocked

"This is not good advice."

About a month ago I approach a junction and wondered what a car was doing and nearer saw the driver rocking in an unusal way. As I got to the car several of us tried to ask the driver what was wrong. He was having a heart attack and had locked the doors. People started turning up trying to help, his work mate was trying to break a window with his elbow, a wheel spanner turned up to smash a window, doctor from the surgey nearby came. Quiet desperation. Fortunately he came round enough to understand the shouts and unlock the doors. We got in and laid him in the recovery position.
a shorter explanation would not show how awkward locking the doors can be. It shook me up, because we were all but helpless.

Lock the doors if you must, stationary - but not while driving.

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07 May 15 - 11:01 AM (#3707193)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

Further news. Person who attacked me goes to Magistrate's Court next week. She has been allowed out on bail but with restrictions. Not allowed to go into Stockton Town Centre and must stay indoors after 7 pm. At least the legal system has grasped that she is a threat to public safety...   Diane

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07 May 15 - 01:01 PM (#3707232)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: The Sandman

people like that should be put in the stocks and humiliated

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07 May 15 - 02:22 PM (#3707254)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Jack Campin

An even nastier example than Mr Red's: a man alone in a car with the doors locked and a ferocious dog for added protection. When he had a heart attack, the emergency folks couldn't do a thing until the armed response unit got there to shoot the dog. By which time the driver was dead.

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10 Jun 15 - 08:09 AM (#3715765)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,petehulme

im very sad to read this.I have a car but occasionally leave it at hone so I can have a couple of pints.I have walked hone late at night but have been lucky.However a few times people have offered me lifts and now I an very direct and ask people if I know they are going my way.At firstvthis embarrassed me but ive decided id rather be embarassed than mugged!
This thing about not looking like a victim is nonsense.U once attended a meeting ib sgeltered housing wherevthe police gave that advice to a group of elderly men and women.How couldthey take that advice?Wear a Superman outftt?
The answer that springs to mind is that akl folj cluvs should encourage people to give lifts.We are a community abd werealways singing about injustice and suffering.Lets put our beliefs into practice.I would happily give anyone a lift even out of my way if I I knew it was savibg tgem a beating!

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10 Jun 15 - 10:46 AM (#3715811)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: Northerner

Further news. My mugger was due to to go the court but didn't turn up - she did a runner! The police took out a warrant for her arrest and picked her up again. She has now been back to court and pleaded Guilty to a charge of Attempted Robbery. She returns to court later this month to be sentenced.

I do get lifts to folk clubs quite often, just not every time.

Diane

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11 Jun 15 - 06:20 AM (#3715967)
Subject: RE: Attacked on my way to Stockton Folk Club
From: GUEST,Gillie

The best advice I was given when I moved to the Midlands and had to use public transport to get home going through Birmingham center was:-
walk confidently;don't put your hand in your pockets;don't meet someones glance;walk with a purpose, not slowly.

I was lucky in that I had already done a course in self defense and so was not too concerned for my safety - it gave me confidence. I did avoid walking through the then bull ring where tramps where drinking out of their brown paper bags, and walk around it!

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