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Lyr Req: Don't Play Me Your Concertina (Les Barker

24 Jun 15 - 12:47 PM (#3718716)
Subject: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

Hi folks
I want to learn Les Barker's Don't Play Me Your Concertina.
Can't find the lyrics anywhere. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, as I'd just learn them from the Youtube video, but I can't understand all the lyrics.
I'm also willing to buy a book with the lyrics, but I don't know which one (if any) has this song.
So...if anyone has the lyrics, I'd really appreciate seeing them posted.
Thanks!


24 Jun 15 - 01:01 PM (#3718723)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

at a guess probably a skit on dont cry for me argentina


24 Jun 15 - 02:59 PM (#3718742)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Noreen

If no-one has them, post what you can work out from youtube and we'll fill in the gaps. ��


24 Jun 15 - 03:28 PM (#3718750)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Les from Hull

It's in Man and Doberman available from Les's website http://www.mrsackroyd.com/Books.html 


25 Jun 15 - 04:01 PM (#3718928)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

Yes, exactly, a parody on Don't Cry For Me Argentina.

I actually love the concertina, but I know a couple of players that I'd love to tease with this song. It also pokes fun at other folk "types" so will go over well at my club.

I will order the book (Les Barker is a treasure), but I also like the suggestion of collaborating to figure out the words.

Off I go to Youtube....


25 Jun 15 - 06:00 PM (#3718954)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

Okay, so this is what I have:

Don't Play Me Your Concertina by Les Barker

It isn't easy, they think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
When I try to describe Friday nights at the Sun
They don't believe me
All that I see is a fiddler or two, a bloke who sings songs about mines,
A ??? from Devon and you
I don't know ????
You're all deranged
Couldn't spend half my life playing reels
And to have each one sound like the previous one
Did I choose boredom?
Scrape ???? without much of a clue
And no sense of rhythm at all
I don't want to hear this, thank you

Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Fridays, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from distance

And as for fortune and as for fame
I trust you're not holding your breath
And don't play me that world stuff on some kind of lyre
No folk just fusions, let's clear the confusion
No Morris for me
Those dancers are here all the time
A long way from [sobriety]???
Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Fridays, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from distance

Bridge:
It won't hurt too much to hear no more from the bloke with the didgeridoo
But will you promise, too, that not one single note is henceforth heard from you?

Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Fridays, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from distance
Don't play me your concertina
PLEASE!

And this is the Youtube link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fZA54vn5iY


26 Jun 15 - 10:13 AM (#3719045)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST,leeneia

Don't do it, 4ADiva. This song is snide, almost too cruel. The rhymes are clever, but the sentiment is crass and money-based. (i.e, folk music doesn't make the big bucks like pop and rock, so folk musicians are here to be ridiculed.)

Do you really think that your concertina friends will be amused by:

"But will you promise, too,
that not one single note
is henceforth heard from you?"

Do you play or sing yourself? How would you feel if somebody told you never to make another note of music?


26 Jun 15 - 10:35 AM (#3719054)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST,Bizibod

You're too earnest Leeneia. This song is a parody, a joke - it's funny! The sentiment you've identified is honestly not encompassed within the song.
Incidentally, British concertina players love it! Maybe the humour just doesn't chime outside UK ? Les Barker is one of our National Treasures.


26 Jun 15 - 11:09 AM (#3719064)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST

A flautist from Devon

Scraping a sound without

sobriety

The other bits I can't make out despite watching like a hawk - anybody lip-read ?


26 Jun 15 - 11:25 AM (#3719071)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Severn

I always thought the words were "Don't Wail For Me, Ike &Tina".........

Then there was the country version:

"Ar-gen-teeena,
don't you cry for me,
For I'm going to Buenos Eye-rees
Dictatress for to be......"

(How to rise in the world by assuming Peron positions)


26 Jun 15 - 07:46 PM (#3719189)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Tangledwood

4ADiva - thank you very much for the link and your transcription work. I've been hunting for this for several years since seeing it performed at Warwick Folk Festival. It appears that the lyrics have evolved a bit since then. I'm pretty sure it was "the one our Trevor left you", and I recall a phrase - "the tunes you play, all sound the same, can't tell the difference." I'm not sure where that fitted in.

And Leeneia - my concertina playing friends that have heard this like it. Jokes are directed at banjos, bodhrans, accordions etc. They're all taken in fun and the aim is to retaliate with a better joke.


26 Jun 15 - 08:51 PM (#3719202)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST

Thanks for the help on the missing bits and I'm glad the posting will help Tangledwood. I guess in a pinch, I can make up something to fill the gaps, or wait til my Les Barker book arrives.
Regarding Leeneia's comments, I'm sorry she takes this seriously. Since taking up the ukulele, I've been the butt of many a joke and I accept it all with good humour.
In my experience, banjo players are the first ones to tell banjo jokes, accordion players love to pass along accordion jokes, etc.
There is no instrument that I hate or can't listen to (okay, maybe the musical saw...).
I think Les Barker's humour is universal. I'm not from the UK and I love his stuff. :-)
As for the idea that the song ridicules folk musicians because they are not commercial, I can't imagine anything further from the truth.
In the broadest sense, the song shows us folk musicians how "outsiders" might sometimes see us. We have no clue as to who the song narrator is, whether she is even a music lover, maybe she has no taste in music at all. Maybe the players down at The Sun on Fridays are actually not bad, but the narrator is a non-folkie who just wants some quiet down at the pub to have a pint.
It never hurts us to get a different point of view and see ourselves as someone else might see us, especially when it's done with humour. Pricks our little bubbles a bit!


26 Jun 15 - 09:10 PM (#3719205)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

Sorry--forgot to log in for that last comment. That was me, masquerading as GUEST.

One tweak: I just listened again and think I've got a correction.

The line I thought was:

No folk just fusions, let's clear the confusion

is actually (I think):

No folk/jazz fusions, let's clear the confusion

That makes more sense.


27 Jun 15 - 10:44 AM (#3719302)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST,leeneia

Ridicule is funny at first, but if it goes on for a long time, it becomes toxic. This is the case with the ridiculing of traditional music.   

It's merely part of 'the Great Shut Up' - our culture's tendency to kill homemade, amateur or original music-making and substitute commercially-produced music (much of it bad quality.)


27 Jun 15 - 11:29 AM (#3719320)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST,#

"Jokes are directed at banjos, bodhrans, accordions etc. They're all taken in fun and the aim is to retaliate with a better joke."

One I came across recently.

Joker tells 'joke'.
Jokee says, "That reminds me of something Mother Teresa said."
Joker asks, "What's that?"
Jokee says, "F*** you a$$hole! But I'm paraphrasing of course."


27 Jun 15 - 01:59 PM (#3719352)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Noreen

It's merely part of 'the Great Shut Up', Leenia?

Far from it- who do you think is going to be singing this? Only folkies, to folkies.
No-one else would understand it or get the in-jokes, which are what make it funny.

Les Barker is the kindest, most thoughtful of people and wouldn't write anything hurtful.

You are obviously viewing it from a very different perspective.


27 Jun 15 - 02:37 PM (#3719359)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: CupOfTea

Wow. Accusing Les Barker of being snide and cruel in this parody verse - that's a world class entry in the "taking umbrage for no discernable reason" Olympics.

First, it's a parody. For some folks that's enough to irk them. With a parody you get snarky sounding comments, and most times they're for an exaggerated comic effect, with a "persona" for the song. Les' political poetry might run closer to the line on snide - but over it? I don't think so.

As someone who has had the pleasure of watching Les perform several times and hosted him in my home AND plays the concertina, I'd have to say it isn't going to be a favorite of his parodies, and I won't be adding it to my repertoire as I have a couple others. Anyone wants further proof that Les has some peculiar ideas about concertinas, need only listen to "Arnold" where a concertina becomes an object of sexual obsession by a myopic armadillo. Someone put that to music, and I would LOVE to have that music - I would take the time to learn that, with concertina. (how delightfully off-kilter his world view - I can't imagine anyone else writing "Sex with a concertina is hardly, if ever discrete")

I love Les and I love parodies. Even a master of parodies can't make it to the top of everyone's charts all the time.

Joanne in Cleveland


27 Jun 15 - 03:25 PM (#3719375)
Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T PLAY ME YOUR CONCERTINA (Les Barker
From: Noreen

DON'T PLAY ME YOUR CONCERTINA
WORDS Les Barker (with apologies to Tim Rice)
MUSIC Andrew Lloyd-Webber

It isn't easy, they think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
When I try to describe Friday nights at the Sun
They don't believe me
All that I see is a fiddler or two, a bloke who sings songs about mines,
A flautist from Devon and you.

I don't know how it happened
You're all deranged
Couldn't spend half my life playing reels
And to have each one sound like the previous one
Did I choose boredom?
Scraping a sound without much of a clue
And no sense of rhythm at all
I don't want to hear this, thank you

Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Fridays, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from distance

And as for fortune and as for fame
I trust you're not holding your breath
And don't play me that world stuff on some kind of lyre
No folk/jazz fusion, let's clear the confusion
No Morris for me
Those dancers are here all the time
A long way from sobriety.

Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Friday, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from a distance

Bridge:
It won't hurt too much to hear no more from the bloke with the didgeridoo
But will you promise, too, that not one single note is henceforth heard from you?

Don't play me your concertina, the one Uncle Trevor left you
The Sun on Friday, where no one listens
'Cept down the highway and from a distance

Don't play me your concertina
Please.

As sung by Hilary Spencer with Mrs Ackroyd Band@Fylde Folk Festival 2011
Don't Play Me Your Concertina

NK


27 Jun 15 - 08:06 PM (#3719430)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Tangledwood

Wonderful!


27 Jun 15 - 08:51 PM (#3719435)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

Leenia,makes an interesting point.
I am inclined to agree with her.
I do not like parodies.
I did not particularly like the Kipper family either, although in my opinion they were more clever than Les.
my opinion is if you have any writing talent go off and write a good original song. les Barker , and the Kipper family are second rate compared to MacColl.
this stuff is lightweight drivel.


27 Jun 15 - 11:10 PM (#3719443)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

I am amazed that a simple request for lyrics could generate such controversy!

First, thanks to Noreen for posting the corrected version. It all looks good.

Second, Good Soldier: comparing a Les Barker parody to MacColl's work is like comparing a chocolate truffle to a roast beef. Yes, it's lightweight--it's SUPPOSED to be lightweight. That's the whole point, to make us laugh at ourselves. If we, as traditional songsters, can't enjoy a laugh once in a while, god help us! I can sing this song because I'm one of the people being parodied; maybe not the concertina player, but perhaps "the bloke who sings songs about mines" or even the pitiful, benighted "jazz/folk" fuser.

Now, you may reasonably argue that this parody or any other parody is not to your taste, or that it isn't funny to you. But that doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy a good giggle.

A good parody plays off elements of the original song; if you aren't familiar with the original, you won't really "get" the jokes. In this case, the original song is quite "over the top" in sentimentality and angst and that's part of what makes this parody funny: that someone would be that melodramatic about creaky players and drunken Morris dancers down at the pub.

Finally: Leeneia--I agree that if ridicule goes on too long, it can become toxic. However, this is just one little song that pokes gentle humour at a whole bunch of folkie "types." It doesn't take itself seriously, as you can tell from the overly melodramatic music of Don't Cry for Me Argentina to which it is set.
The irony is that Les Barker is very much a part of that "homemade, amateur or original music-making" culture that you feel is threatened.
By attacking it, perhaps you could be accused of seeking to "kill homemade, amateur or original music-making."
This song may not be to your personal taste, but there is nothing intrinsically "wrong" with it.


28 Jun 15 - 05:22 AM (#3719478)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Noreen

Well said, 4ADiva.
I DO play the concertina, so it would go down well if I sang this.

Not a great fan of parodies in general, but I love Les Barker. The only parody I do sing is his version of Lady Franklin's Lament.


28 Jun 15 - 05:50 AM (#3719486)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: bubblyrat

Good Heavens, Noreen ! I had no idea that you could play the concertina!


28 Jun 15 - 12:58 PM (#3719548)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

"Now, you may reasonably argue that this parody or any other parody is not to your taste."
that is exactly what i am doing.
furthermore I have no wish to stop anyone else having different taste and enjoying it, neither would i be able to do that. no one is trying to stop anyone doing anything,please cop on to that.


28 Jun 15 - 04:32 PM (#3719589)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: nutty

Les Barker is a very accomplished poet who has written some beautiful poems which are hidden among all the more lightweight material in his books.
I once asked him why he didn't publish a book of his serious stuff and he said he didn't think people would read them .
Such a shame but then the man has to make a living and he can be amazingly funny.


28 Jun 15 - 07:04 PM (#3719612)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

I have not made any remark about any poetry that I have not seen, my remark was about one parody, and most parodies that i haveencountered including some of the kippers. the kippers were however very good at presenting their material and had a very well rehearsed stage act.
Les Barker also presents his work in a professional way.


28 Jun 15 - 07:30 PM (#3719618)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Noreen

Playing it a lot more now, mr, bubblyrat sir. Think the idea of learning Da Slockit Licht came from you. Lovely tune.


29 Jun 15 - 12:05 AM (#3719653)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Joe Offer

Leeneia makes a good point about humor in songs. Sometimes it doesn't work, and I think that happens most often when the song crosses the line between humor and mean-spiritedness. I tend to be one of those singers who doesn't pick up on that mean-spirited tone, and then I'm left wondering why that song I sang went over like a lead balloon.

I really like the "Concertina" song, but then I've found out the hard way that I'm not a very good judge of such things.

Somebody has to conk me on the head and say, "Joe, you're a nice person. Why are you singing such a nasty song?"

-Joe-


29 Jun 15 - 03:34 AM (#3719671)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE ROAST BEEF OF OLD ENGLAND
From: The Sandman

The other problem with parodies is that they use someone else's songwriting efforts to provide themselves with a musical income, in my opinion, it is on a par with being a tribute band. my opinion of the kipper family was the same, they could not have existed without the original music, I agree like Les they were very proficient and clever in their performance
lets look at the lyrics of this piece
the lyrics of this particular parody are negative, they are negative about people being musically creative they are negative about the folk club scene and negative about folk music.
if OTHER people find that funny that is fine by me,we all like different humour.
LES created a parody called the hard cheese of old england, this is in fact a parody of another parody ,the original was called the roast beef of old england here.
    When mighty Roast Beef was the Englishman's food,
    It ennobled our brains and enriched our blood.
    Our soldiers were brave and our courtiers were good

       Oh! the Roast Beef of old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    But since we have learnt from all-vapouring France
    To eat their ragouts as well as to dance,
    We're fed up with nothing but vain complaisance

       Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    Our fathers of old were robust, stout, and strong,
    And kept open house, with good cheer all day long,
    Which made their plump tenants rejoice in this song--

       Oh! The Roast Beef of old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    But now we are dwindled to, what shall I name?
    A sneaking poor race, half-begotten and tame,
    Who sully the honours that once shone in fame.

       Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    When good Queen Elizabeth sat on the throne,
    Ere coffee, or tea, or such slip-slops were known,
    The world was in terror if e'er she did frown.

       Oh! The Roast Beef of old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    In those days, if Fleets did presume on the Main,
    They seldom, or never, return'd back again,
    As witness, the Vaunting Armada of Spain.

       Oh! The Roast Beef of Old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

    Oh then we had stomachs to eat and to fight
    And when wrongs were cooking to do ourselves right.
    But now we're a . . . I could, but goodnight!

       Oh! the Roast Beef of Old England,
       And old English Roast Beef!

in my opinion it is patriotic drivel
The hard times of old england was a definite improvement,
Come all brother tradesmen that travel along
O pray, come and tell me where the trade is all gone
Long time have I travelled, and I cannot find none
Chorus
And sing all the hard times of old England
In old England, very hard times
Provisions you buy at the shop, it is true
But if you've no money, there's none there for you
So what's a poor man and his family to do?
Chorus
You must go to the shop and you'll ask for a job
They'll answer you there with a shake and a nod
And that's enough to make a man turn out and rob
Chorus
You will see the poor tradesmen a-walkin's the street
From morning to night for employment to seek
And scarce have they got any shoes to their feet
Chorus
Our soldiers and sailors have just come from war
Been fighting for Queen and country this year
Come home to be starved, better stayed where they were
Chorus
And now to conclude and to finish my song
Let us hope that these hard times will not last long
I hope soon to have occasion to alter my song, and sing
Oh, the good times of old England
In old England, jolly good times
Then along comes les barker
and writes the Hard cheese of old England, and I am expected to roll about all over the floor laughing.


29 Jun 15 - 04:12 AM (#3719675)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

Having said all that some of his work I do find humourous in a gentle way, for example the one about the fairly accurate knife thrower.
So these two Ido not like, the one about the concertina because of its overall negativity and mean spiritedness, and the hard cheese of old england, because there was a much better parody already in existence namely.. the hard times of old england, I cannot see the point in writing another parody which IN MY OPINION is inferior and appears to have been written without any knowledge of the history of the original parody.


29 Jun 15 - 07:50 AM (#3719699)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Steve Shaw

I'm struggling here to think of ANY instrument played in traditional music or its player that hasn't had the mick taken out of it at some time or other by someone or other. Lighten up!

(Posted by a harmonica player fer chrissake...)


29 Jun 15 - 10:55 AM (#3719763)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Tattie Bogle

Thinking also of Dave Taylor's "The Melodeons are Coming" (I play one and bought his CD on the strength of it even though it's taking the p~ss out of melodeon-players).
And George Machray's "No fiddlers like folk fiddlers" (to the tune of "No business like show business")No fiddlers have yet been offended.
Thanks to Noreen, I am going to show this to my concertina-playing friends and will tell you what they say or how they react, but I'm guessing they will laugh. The choice of song on which the parody is based also adds to the humour IMHO.
And for Steve Shaw - Q "How does that tune go?" Answer: Sook, sook, blaw.


29 Jun 15 - 11:12 AM (#3719774)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: GUEST,Howard Jones

There is a big difference between external mockery by outsiders and poking fun at ourselves from within. Perhaps this is a British thing, although I doubt it. Les is firmly inside the folk camp and has been performing his quirky and occasionally bizarre poems at folk clubs and folk festivals for decades. He is well-known and much-loved on the folk scene, in the UK and elsewhere.

Writing parodies isn't as easy as it looks, you have to retain enough of the original while telling an entirely different story and trying to be humorous. Parodies are only part of Les's output, most are simply poems which play on words or subvert ideas - who else would write about the Titanic from the point of view of a polar bear? He has also written serious poems and songs which have been covered by some of the big names of the folk scene.

As it happens, I don't think this is one of his best, but to regard this as an attack on traditional music and musicians is mistaken. It may be negative, if you choose to look it like that, but it is done with affection, not malice. I acknowledge that this may not be apparent when you read it in isolation, but these are intended to be performed - context is relevant.

I must declare an interest - one of the highlights of my musical career was when the band I was in became the Mrs Ackroyd Band to support Les at Sidmouth Folk Festival in the 1980s. We had a huge amount of fun.

By the way, I also play the concertina.


29 Jun 15 - 12:16 PM (#3719798)
Subject: RE: No Fiddlers Like Folk Fiddlers
From: 4ADiva

Tattie: where can I find George Machray's "No fiddlers like folk fiddlers" (to the tune of "No business like show business")

Sounds like another parody I need to learn.

BTW: Not being English, and not being an expert on English hard times, roast beef, OR cheese, I hesitate to put someone else's scholarship on this very English matter into question. However, I'm confused by Soldier's discussion. Isn't the original song "Hard Times of Old England," from which the two parodies (Roast Beef and Hard Cheese) are equally derived?


29 Jun 15 - 12:16 PM (#3719799)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

"There is a big difference between external mockery by outsiders and poking fun at ourselves from within."
but that was not my point. what does the poem say, what is its message, it says all irish reels sound the same, it suggests all morris dancers are always pissed, it suggests that a particular venue only has 4 people.
in my opinion, the music needs talking up, not down, but since you raise the point, Howard, about the difference between external mockery and internal mockery , i am afraid i disagree there is no difference in my opinion, it is all mockery. if you want to get outsiders interested this poem perpetuates all the stereotypes that many outsiders already have, how many times have i heard outsiders say that all diddley music sounds the same, that morris dancers just do it to get free drink. humour is a great way to get a message across, but in this case my honest opinion is that this does not do irish music, folk clubs or morris dancing any favours.


29 Jun 15 - 01:12 PM (#3719823)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Tattie Bogle

Hi 4ADiva: I have a copy of the lyrics of George's song but won't post it here without asking him first (or can bring it to Sidmouth!)

I agree with Howard about context being all-important, and of course, Les's own delivery of his poems involves more than just reading the words: facial expression, well-timed pauses, body language are all part of his performance: as for the songs - you'll get an idea of it in Hilary's delivery of the song as shown in Noreen's link - a bit of over-acting, pathos, more body language, etc.
But at the end of the day, some people "get it" and some don't, some like parody, some don't. However, I do not believe that this song does any harm at all to folk music: it is just laughing at all the stereotypes out there.


29 Jun 15 - 02:41 PM (#3719851)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

ok, you are right i am wrong , this parody will really help promote the uk folk scene, morris dancing and irish music, it will be remembered as a very funny poem.


29 Jun 15 - 04:33 PM (#3719877)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: TheSnail

A first violinist, a second violinist, a virtuoso viola player and a double bass player stand at the four corners of a football pitch. The conductor drops a five pound note on the centre spot. Who gets to it first.

The second violinist.
The first violinist isn't going to bother for a fiver.
There is no such thing as a virtuoso viola player.
The double bass player doesn't understand the question.

Told by a double bass player.


29 Jun 15 - 04:49 PM (#3719881)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: Reinhard

4ADiva, "The Roast Beef of Old England" is from Henry Fielding's play "The Grub-Street Opera", first performed in 1731. "Hard Times of Old England" is from around the time of the Napoleonic Wars, printed on a broadside before 1820 (Bodleian, Harding B 17(321a), "The Tradesman's Complain" ("Draw near brother tradesmen, listen to my song ...") J. Pitts, London, 1802-1819).


29 Jun 15 - 05:23 PM (#3719888)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: 4ADiva

Ah, you see, I knew I would be educated by someone with better knowledge. Thanks for that and apologies to Soldier.

I don't think I've heard of any (nearly) two-hundred-year-old parodies. Coming from a country that has not yet existed for two centuries, I am once again 'umbled by the superiority of the Anglo culture.


30 Jun 15 - 04:29 AM (#3719973)
Subject: RE: Lyrics for Don't Play Me Your Concertina
From: The Sandman

4adiva, no need to apologise, furthermore if we all had the same taste the world would be very boring.


05 Jun 19 - 02:56 AM (#3995286)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Play Me Your Concertina (Les Barker
From: GUEST,justgerry

Heard a great version at the Ceol Aneas in Nelson New Zealand... Directed at a very fine concertina player....' Don't play for me that concertina, the truth is you've never practiced, from one week to the other, it must be your obsession to ruin the session.... Etc !! I was very drunk at the time and may have been thinking out loud .


05 Jun 19 - 08:54 AM (#3995319)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Play Me Your Concertina (Les Barker
From: GUEST

"The theatre that can't be laughed in is a theatre to be laughed at " Bertolt Brecht