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09 Jan 16 - 09:22 PM (#3764140) Subject: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Now chaps. And I hope no women are reading this. Several things. Do you dress to the left or to the right? Are you happy with the boxer short, in which case do you leave the button in place, or do you, like me, cut it off? The button, that is, you clot. Or are you in need of the support of the Y-front, in which case do you have a space issue? Do you adhere to the general principle, "undies worn twaice are not quaite naice," or can you make three pairs do you a whole week? In extremis, do you "go commando" (due to a laundry timing malfunction, perhaps) or is that your regular modus operandi, à la Jeremy Kyle, in any case? Or do you feel that the underwear that's man enough to take on your tackle has yet to be invented? Are you like me, in that your washing needs at least six rinses in order to remove sufficient detergent to avoid the dreaded bollock-itch? (If women can say tit, I can say bollock). These points amount to a major issue, especially for "big lads" such as my good self. So what say you, chaps? And only chaps? Thread drift cordially invited... |
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09 Jan 16 - 10:12 PM (#3764155) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Bill D Simple answer ..Munsingwear I have never... as far as I can remember... worn boxers. 'Kangaroo pouch' style just seems more convenient, even though I have some y-front... and some with NO fly, which are comfy but awkward. I see no particular use in comparing sizes. In 60 years, no woman has ever inquired or complained...but maybe I only meet polite ones. |
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09 Jan 16 - 10:38 PM (#3764161) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker Now I'm not too far off 60, for the first time in my life I admit I do find 'size' an issue. I was born with what I've got, made do with it, and just got on with it.... and although only family economy average size, 'he's' always been a hard conscientious worker and rarely ever let anyone down. But now we are settled into a comfy sedentary lifestyle. The problem is that for every extra inch of flab that piles on my gut and her arse and thighs, the poor little chap has correspondingly that much less effective working length... No wonder older fatter swingers seem so obsessed with 10 and 12 inchers.... ??? 😜 |
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09 Jan 16 - 11:16 PM (#3764171) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Beer we all need more beer, I am buying, no damn women allowed. Pass me a cigar |
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09 Jan 16 - 11:26 PM (#3764174) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Burps and farts welcome |
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10 Jan 16 - 01:00 AM (#3764181) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Amos I wear boxers--free space is valuable to me. I have enough pairs not to worry about the timing of laundry. I've worn them ever since I learned about the ancient Chinese form of male birth control--reducing sperm count by constraining the equipment in a small wooden box. Nightmares, I tell you. Roscoe Peterworthy, Rector St. Dangle on Invitation, Surrey |
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10 Jan 16 - 01:00 AM (#3764182) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Amos I wear boxers--free space is valuable to me. I have enough pairs not to worry about the timing of laundry. I've worn them ever since I learned about the ancient Chinese form of male birth control--reducing sperm count by constraining the equipment in a small wooden box. Nightmares, I tell you. Roscoe Peterworthy, Rector St. Dangle on Invitation, Surrey |
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10 Jan 16 - 01:46 AM (#3764185) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion I used to wear boxers, but no longer. I go commando in summer, and use pyjama-trousers [which I don't FWIW wear in bed] as long-johns this time of year. There -- happy now? I know you were all agog for this indispensable news! ≈M≈ |
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10 Jan 16 - 02:06 AM (#3764188) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker MGM.. you old lion.. you are a month younger than my mum and about a quarter century older than me.. what is your secret for staying so virile.. [not that my mum wants to know, though she is a widow, she knows you are married... but if you are ever down in the west country alone....] |
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10 Jan 16 - 02:08 AM (#3764190) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker .. and that may be inspiration for a new folk song... ??? unrequited online lust amongst the over 80s... 😜 |
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10 Jan 16 - 02:31 AM (#3764192) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion Why, you old flatterer PFR. When all I was on about was warmth·&·comfort, with no intended erotic overtone at all! ≈M≈ |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:13 AM (#3764198) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion Anyone else find it of interest, BTW, that the injunction contained in the thread title has thus far been obeyed, while that in the converse thread didn't last 5 minutes? Must be some deep-lying wotsit or whevs involved, eh wot!wot! |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:16 AM (#3764199) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Musket Not into boxers. They ride up the crack. I wear Marks & Sparks black briefs (£10 for a pack of three I think.) I dress to the left. Although I'm right handed, I also kick left footed so not surprised the lower half of me is more left wing than the top half. I don't need a bra but consider myself an expert on the fastening mechanism. Granted, to keep competency up you have to unhook an annual quota, and accreditation gets more difficult each year. |
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10 Jan 16 - 05:44 AM (#3764218) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: gnu MGM... 5 minutes? It was 31 minutes. I'd say that indicates a predictable level of restraint, given the thread title. Coloured underwear? Never. As your doc about non-gonococcal urethritis. Briefs for me. Tighty-whities. |
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10 Jan 16 - 06:18 AM (#3764229) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Mr Red when folks ask me what colour my underpants are I usually reply "commando" for the laughs but to be honest I prefer jockey. In the normal run of things with boxers you can get used to them but if you dance a lot, NOT. IMNSHO. that the injunction contained in the thread title has thus far been obeyed - ladies are being more restrained and less vituperative. And they are in my experience. |
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10 Jan 16 - 06:33 AM (#3764237) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST I stick to briefs as dancing can be rather uncomfortable without a little "support" |
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10 Jan 16 - 07:19 AM (#3764253) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Denise: Dad, stop fiddling with yourself. Jim Royle: I'm not fiddling with myself...I paid a quid for these underpants. I've got fifty pence worth stuck up my arse. Denise: Mam, tell him. |
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10 Jan 16 - 08:34 AM (#3764280) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST I go commando summer and winter........I ain't no pussy. |
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10 Jan 16 - 09:41 AM (#3764301) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Here is how you wash em Put on the tightie whites When they turn brown Throw them away And put on a new pair |
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10 Jan 16 - 09:47 AM (#3764303) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Bee-dubya-ell I lost the underwear habit back in the let-it-all-hang-out sixties. I occasionally wear briefs, particularly if I'm wearing dress pants and/or a shirt that needs to be tucked in. I'll also wear them if I'm wearing loose fitting shorts and think someone may call the cops if they accidentally catch a glimpse of |
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10 Jan 16 - 10:01 AM (#3764309) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: akenaton Ye cannae beat the kilt! fur handiness!! |
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10 Jan 16 - 10:14 AM (#3764310) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Ian I think this song by Grant Baynham makes some pertinent points : Save, Save the Y-Fronts |
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10 Jan 16 - 10:56 AM (#3764321) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw " I'll also wear them if I'm wearing loose fitting shorts and think someone may call the cops if they accidentally catch a glimpse of Long John Silver." Well I wear baggy shorts almost all the year round, in the house or out, and always when indoors as Mrs Steve and I suffer from severe indoor temperature incompatibility, and she wins. Going commando in such circumstances carries the severe risk of inadvertently providing flashes of the meat and two veg up one leg of the shorts unless I permanently avoid the alpha male legs-akimbo thing by sitting primly with my legs together, little girl fashion, which I don't. A number of photos of me have had to be deleted for this reason (they are known as "crotch shots"). Actually, wearing boxer shorts alleviates this risk only slightly, but it's a start. I'd rather risk a glimpse of the real me than risk the same wearing Y-fronts, which makes it look like you've stuffed a well-filled doggie poo bag up one side of your shorts. And women think they have bra difficulties. Tsk. |
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10 Jan 16 - 11:13 AM (#3764322) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: frogprince If memories from long ago on the farm hold true, I was commando around the farm in jeans at least some of the time, otherwise in tightie whities. I quickly learned to hate Navy issue boxers; I was constantly partly in, partly out, and thoroughly uncomfortable. I almost always wear t-w's now; I would just as soon have the occasional skid mark or damp spot absorbed in underwear. For out-of-the-way-but-not-fully-optional beaches, colored flyless briefs. Sometimes on vacation travels, to minimize packing and laundry, commando. |
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10 Jan 16 - 11:13 AM (#3764323) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Steve Lol can't stop laughing |
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10 Jan 16 - 12:26 PM (#3764344) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: michaelr I haven't worn underwear for 40 years, except for doctor's appointments. This has proved practical in a number of ways, including laundry-related. There, now you know. You asked. |
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10 Jan 16 - 12:56 PM (#3764349) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Yebbut if you wear knickers under your trousers you keep the undercarriage of the latter much cleaner for much longer. I'd far sooner stick a pair of dodgy-gussetted boxers a day in the laundry basket than a pair of trousers a day, which I'd probably have to do if I went commando (and no, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm simply one of those rare beasts, a man requiring freshness and hygiene of the "Biffin's bridge" department). I think we all know what we're talking about here. Understains, innit (remember the Daz adverts of the 70s, lads?) |
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10 Jan 16 - 02:51 PM (#3764368) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Dave the Gnome I like the boxers with the sort of overlapped slot that doesn't need a button. Whoever thought putting buttons on underpants was a good idea needs talking about. As if life isn't complicated enough! |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:10 PM (#3764377) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Paul Burke Left or right? I thought everyone had it looped up behind, with a neck halter. |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:26 PM (#3764379) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw That is very true. Very very true. Why, in the good old days you could get spectacularly good boxers from M&S in three-packs that eschewed the dreaded button. Alas, some friggin' eejit, presumably either a man in possession of a micropenis or a woman) decided that a silly button should be installed in entirely and precisely the wrong position. In the interim, until some real-man underpant designer sees the light, I suggest the following. Obtain a pack or two of Asda's five-pairs-for-eight-quid jobs, and snip off the buttons. Immediately. In an emergency (let's suppose, for example, that you have just accidentally shat yourself but are within reach of an Asda but have no scissors about your person), buy a pack, put on a pair in the Asda lavatorium (after a little clean-up, naturally, but don't overdo it) but make sure the button is undone. You'll get by until you get home. It's entirely a matter for you whether you decide that I'm speaking from experience or not. |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:30 PM (#3764380) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw "Left or right? I thought everyone had it looped up behind, with a neck halter." Hmm. Bragging again, eh? Well mine's twelve inches, but I don't use it as a rule... |
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10 Jan 16 - 03:52 PM (#3764385) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Well how about the long unders with the trap door sadly I don't see them sold anymore. Lol |
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10 Jan 16 - 05:02 PM (#3764397) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Ripov Don't belittle the powers of Daz - I remember my dad being quite amused by the lady saying "I use Daz, and I find I have three children" (oh bugger where does the full stop/period/point go?). And in those days jeans had zips (nasty american imports both of them, so my mum said) that opened all the way down to the relevant bits, as opposed to the modern variety which barely expose the belly-button. |
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10 Jan 16 - 05:35 PM (#3764402) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude 12 inches, I would have to fold mine in half for that small |
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10 Jan 16 - 07:57 PM (#3764430) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Jesus, Dan, fold the bloody thing in half and you wouldn't know whether you were coming or going... |
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10 Jan 16 - 11:24 PM (#3764450) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Lol |
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10 Jan 16 - 11:25 PM (#3764451) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude That was great steve still laughing |
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11 Jan 16 - 05:55 AM (#3764507) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Will Fly Anyone sport a codpiece these days? I've occasionally considered resurrecting the fashion a la Henry VIII. A codpiece could be very useful in many ways - such as advertising space (make yourselves a spot of cash), folk club promotion ("It's a load of bollocks, folks!"), or your latest trendy art design. Comfy, too. Eye contact with each other's codpieces - more hygienic than shaking hands... |
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11 Jan 16 - 10:36 AM (#3764571) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion Don't need a cod piece: I've got a real piece. |
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11 Jan 16 - 10:41 AM (#3764573) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Will Fly So I've heard! |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:01 PM (#3764619) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion Now there's real fame! Which one have you been talking to then, Will!? |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:02 PM (#3764620) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion & wot else she tell u? |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:07 PM (#3764624) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Will Fly Mmm... can't remember. Was it the short, giggly blonde with the freckle on her chin - or was it the sultry, busty brunette with the sexy smile and the mauve nail polish...? Whatever, they were most complimentary - and complementary - but not one of them mentioned the tattoo of a bluebird on your left buttock! No codding. |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:14 PM (#3764629) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion Why, of course not -- becoz she did it herself with her nails & mauve polish! |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:30 PM (#3764632) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST What about a Prince Albert ??? anyone ????? |
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11 Jan 16 - 01:53 PM (#3764638) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude In a can |
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11 Jan 16 - 03:27 PM (#3764682) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Raggytash I don't hold with favouritism. The Womans thread has a capital O, a capital P and a comma. I want equality!! |
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11 Jan 16 - 03:37 PM (#3764686) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Dave the Gnome Dunni about a capital P. How about peeing standing up? |
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11 Jan 16 - 03:51 PM (#3764695) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: MGM·Lion In interests of accuracy -- this one has a comma, the women's one doesn't. AINTOS* Accuracy matters. ≈M≈ *As I Never Tire Of Saying |
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11 Jan 16 - 04:00 PM (#3764703) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Raggytash Gollocks !!! |
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12 Jan 16 - 08:45 AM (#3764888) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Dave the Gnome What about the silent P in wranglers? |
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12 Jan 16 - 10:07 AM (#3764904) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Keep it up, lads. We may have started a bit later than them but we're only about 30 posts behind the women-only thread. I do keep ruining it by posting to their thread, unfortunately. ;-) |
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12 Jan 16 - 12:48 PM (#3764947) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude What do you guys do about itchy balls. I use an electric sander meself. What is your approach |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:06 PM (#3764956) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,punkfolkrocker Smeg is something we've only ever heard of in filthy jokes, but never experienced personally... A good clean healthy bloke washes his tackle at least once a day... right...??? Anyway, can't speak for anyone else but after each wash I douse my balls in freezing cold water... It's invigorating, and definitely wakes me up... A practice I first started doing back in my teens after I read a magazine article about a popular middle aged movie actor who had been put on this 'treatment' by specialist Drs to improve his fertility. Cue photo of him holding his new born baby. I also only wear baggy cotton trousers and oversized boxers to allow free circulation of cooling fresh air. Back in my early 20s when I was 10 1/2 stone and a 31" waist I could carry off wearing skin tight Levis whilst going commando... [Probably what first interested my mrs to start stalking me in Poly Halls Of Residence...???] But not something I should now be encouraged to do.... 😜 |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:06 PM (#3764957) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Your washing needs at least five rinses. All that detergent is full of bleaches, perfumes, enzymes, brighteners and fancy colours, all of which does not remotely get rinsed out and which will make your b*oll*ocks itch like fury. I posted this excellent advice to the ladythread apropos of skin irritation but they're all ignoring me except to brag that their shit stinks too. Well let them bloody suffer from itchy undertitties if they won't listen, say I. And don't spray or splash anything scented in the vicinity of your family jewels. It'll make 'em itch like mad and I'm told it makes 'em taste terrible. |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:21 PM (#3764967) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST Yeah.. splashing Brute all over.. those bastard 1970s Advertising creative directors... F@ck me did it sting.... 😬 |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:34 PM (#3764975) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude Yeah but I got tired of dangling the tackle in the Washer, the spin cycle hurt like the dickens |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:40 PM (#3764980) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Ed T Speaking of baggy pants, I once knew a guy who wore pants so baggy that he could take three steps without moving a pant leg. Quite a sight, it was. Reguar washing of a humans "front parts" should obviously also include the "rear parts" (front to back is recommended, especally if you aren't a gent). This is especially important f you wsh to get ahead in life, or plan to work as a plumber. I recall this good advice from a Red Foxx conedy album, where he expressed it more clearly by saying, "you've gotta wash your ass". |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:58 PM (#3764988) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: GUEST,Musket That's Brut you brute. |
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12 Jan 16 - 01:59 PM (#3764989) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: olddude I gave up golf, mine dropped so low I was afraid of clubbing them |
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12 Jan 16 - 02:01 PM (#3764991) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw "Yeah but I got tired of dangling the tackle in the Washer, the spin cycle hurt like the dickens" Jeez, Dan, you were only 57 balls short of a lottery machine. |
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12 Jan 16 - 02:05 PM (#3764993) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Steve Shaw Well, unless you have extras. Which reminds me of that ould one-upmanship joke: A bloke sidles up to another bloke in the pub and says, "Hey, mate, between you and me we've got five bollocks." "Really?" says the other, " Have you only got one?" |
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12 Jan 16 - 03:17 PM (#3765018) Subject: RE: BS: Men only, please From: Dave the Gnome Why did they cross a skunk with a gorilla? To give the great brute a smell (1970s joke) Why do women rub their eyes in the morning Because they have no balls to scratch (probably sexist joke) |