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17 Apr 16 - 07:15 PM (#3785795) Subject: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: GUEST,Rahere The search engine suggests this somewhat more adult verse has never been recorded in the wild before. I've transcribed it from Jim Carter: Lonnie Donnegan and Me (ITV 1 17.4.2016) One day whilst in a café He spilt a milkman's tea The milkman rose to argue And he was six foot three... The aninals in Australia Are very, very strange They've got one called a platypus You'll find 'im on the range You'll always recognise him You'll know 'im like your brother His platy hangs on one end And his pussy's on the other One point Lonnie's son Pete made is that this is actually a folk-heritage piece, as the music comes from My Old Man's a Soldier, My Old Man;'s a soldier Fought in the Battke of Mons Killed ten thousand Germans With only a hundred bombs One lay here, one lay there, one lay round the corner One poor soul wiv a bullet up 'is 'ole Crying out for water... |
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17 Apr 16 - 08:01 PM (#3785797) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: GUEST,.gargoyle Dear Rahere, That is a dandy contribution to the Mudcat Cafe.... About what geographic location on the globe did the encounter with the lyrics take place? You will probably have fun with connections to other.... http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=9573 Sincerely, Gargoyle |
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18 Apr 16 - 07:18 AM (#3785826) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: Dave Sutherland I remember the milkman verse being included in his rendition performed either at the London Palladium or at the 1960 Royal Command Performance, either way it was on television, and for some reason it stuck with me:- "One day whilst in a café he spilled a milkman's tea, The milkman stood to argue and he was six foot three, I'm very, very sorry he cried out in remorse, Then ran out of the café and kicked the milkman's horse" If you can get hold of a copy of Harry Shapiro's autobiography of Alexis Korner there is a passage where Donegan talks at some length about the song, its origins and verses that he would not be allowed to sing. |
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18 Apr 16 - 05:30 PM (#3785913) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: Tradsinger I remember Roaring Jelly in the 70s singing a couple of verses that they probably wrote themselves: [from memory] Though my old man's a dustman, I'd have you all to know He used to be a dentist many years ago He got struck off the register, it really was pathetic He was doing things to ladies that were under anesthetic. Though my old man's a dustman, I'd have have you to know He used to be a policeman, many years ago You'd often see him there, walking round Soho I said "Do you have relations there?" "Yeah, every time I go". Enjoy Tradsinger |
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13 Mar 20 - 03:15 PM (#4039367) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: GUEST,Warren James He goes to great occasions And all the big parades See all the royal people And yards and yards of braids He see carriages and horses Each one with a groom And when they've finished passing He follows..... with broom Oh my old man's a dustman, etc etc |
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13 Mar 20 - 06:13 PM (#4039393) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: Lighter His "platy" is presumably is his tail, since it "hangs" at one end. Which means his "puss [face] is" on the other. No male platypus, moreover, has a vagina at one end. Not even a pouch. |
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15 Mar 20 - 01:20 PM (#4039710) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: Mrrzy Is this related to My old man's a sailor / ... / cotton-picking finger-licking feather-flicking chicken plucker, whaddaya think about that, where in every verse the profession gets a syllable longer (as you go through the collar, hat, raincoat and shoes for each) but the chorus is And every Saturday evening, he reads the Sunday news? |
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28 Nov 23 - 08:19 PM (#4192549) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: GUEST,Keith Potger Circle Music Publishing & Production PO Box 341 Braidwood NSW 2622 Australia Mobile 0417 197 472 email circlemusicproduction@hotmail.com ABN 37 515 458 271 SANTA ISN’T SANTA Words by Keith Potger, Melody can be Dustman © 2020 Circle Music Publishing Oh Santa isn’t Santa, He’s really Chaplain Jim And mummy said that I should be especially scared of him. She’s right because he took me round behind the choir stalls He tried to touch my willy so I kicked him in the balls. Oh Santa isn’t Santa, he’s really Brother Bert And underneath his cassock he wears panties and a skirt. He adds a bra on Sundays when he serves the bread and wine. The Pope is not too happy but the cardinals say: “That’s fine.” Oh Santa isn’t Santa, he’s really Bishop Leigh. He fondles little kiddies while they’re sitting on his knee. He tries to act like he’s just some old ordinary chap But two kids got so frightened that they pissed right in his lap. Oh Santa isn’t Santa, he’s really Deacon Don. He saw my sister all alone and tried to get it on. She knew his reputation coz he creeps around so much. She waited ‘til he grabbed her, then she kneed him in the crotch. Oh Santa isn’t Santa, he’s really Cardinal Paul. He knows about what’s going on but he does bugger all. My dad said: ”F*ck me sideways! This is well beyond the pale, And all those bloody clerics should be sent to bloody jail!” So Santa isn’t Santa, I think it’s such a shame That he’s become commercial playing crass commercial games. They say that Christmas is a time for prayer and fun and smiles, But some religious orders are a club for pedophiles. |
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30 Nov 23 - 09:18 AM (#4192611) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Old Man's a Dustman - dirty verse From: GUEST,Lang Johnnie More "Roaring Jelly" - mentioned above - also had a parody reggae version called "Babylon-nie Donegan", as well as their own version. Very funny trio, none like them today, unfortunately. |