14 Oct 16 - 05:58 PM (#3814735) Subject: Lyr Req: You can't take that on the train: Watson From: Mysha Hi, While wondering whether you could take a folding boat on the train, Roger Watson's You can't take that on the train came to mind. But I can't quite recall the lyrics. Anyone else who can? (I wonder whether it's still true, by the way.) BFN Mysha |
14 Oct 16 - 11:00 PM (#3814767) Subject: Lyr Add: YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT ON THE TRAIN (Watson From: cnd YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT ON THE TRAIN (Roger Watson) As performed by New Victory Band Our pussycat, it died last week, the kids were so upset The missus sent me into town to buy another pet No other cat had quite replaced the one that passed away So I looked for something different to try and make the day I went in all the pet shops and a pub or two as well I saw dogs and mice and rabbits, and a budgie with a bell But nothing took me fancy 'til just after half past two I saw these green and scaly jaws and beady eyes of blue Well, I made the bloke an offer; he seemed glad to let it go And I thought I'd take it home via train, for the tram, it'd be too slow And when I rolled up at Victoria with the new pet by me side I asked for one to Carrington, but the booking clod replied "Oh no, you can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train! You can take along a tiger, or a puma or a bear An organ grinder's monkey, or a tortoise or a hare! They can travel in the guard's van if you pay the normal fare But you can't take that thing on the train!" Sometimes to make an extra bob I do a few odd jobs Such as fetching things and carrying, to please the local nobs When Colonel Smith was moving house, he called me out one day And sent me to the station with some things to ship away There was cabin trunks, and bags and chests, and there was one thing more The colonel brought from Africa, when he was in the War And I should take great care of it, it was his joy and pride It had a big black barrel and a wheel on either side Well, I dragged it to Victoria upon a length of cord And then I called a porter out to help us get on board But just as we was managing to lift it in the van Up runs the stationmaster with the rule book in his hand And says "You can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train! The itinerant musician, he can take along his harp The man who sharpens scissors takes his grindstone in a cart And the Kensington Museum even take their works of art But you can't take that thing on the train! Last summer we decided, that's the missus, kids, and me We'd have a week in Skegey, where there's sun and sand and sea I scrimped and saved a week or two, I even stopped me fags The missus wrote and booked the digs and packed up all the bags And then at last the time come 'round, the kids could hardly sleep But when we got 'em settled down and started counting sheep The missus sidles up to me and says "Now, don't be mad But you know how lonely mother is since we lost me dear old Dad?" Well, I knew just what was coming and I couldn't help but groan I wouldn't say she's massive, but she's wrong side twenty stone And when we turned up at the barrier, our tickets for to show The inspector took one look at her and then he shouted "Whoa!" "You can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train! You can take along a camel (with one hump or with two) A hippo or a zebra if they're going to the zoo We've a special trunk for elephants, but that would never do No, you can't take that thing on the train!" "You can take... Swawns, eggs, table legs Grooms with horses, coffins, corpses Biral, mucoline, margerine, acetylene Pianofortes, gramaphones, and 'phoneums and phonographs An officer in cavalry can take along his stallion And bonafide dealers can take specie and bullion Bicycles and tricycles, and children's folding mail carts To Grimsby, Sheffield, Manchester, even into foreign parts Velocipedes and flower seeds, but I must tell you plain You can't take that! You can't take that! You can't take that thing on the train!" Transcribed somewhat by ear with corrections from here: http://discuss.amtraktrains.com/index.php?/topic/23614-first-timer-baggage-help/ |
14 Oct 16 - 11:01 PM (#3814768) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't take that on the train: Watson From: cnd Oops, just saw typo "swawns." I think you know what I meant |
14 Oct 16 - 11:42 PM (#3814775) Subject: Lyr Add: YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT ON THE TRAIN (Watson From: GUEST,Phil d'Conch You Can't Take That On The Train Roger Watson Our pussycat, it died last week, the kids were so upset The Mrs sent me into town to buy another pet No other cat could quite replace the one that passed away So I looked for something different to try and make the day I went in all the pet shops and a pub or two as well I saw dogs and mice and rabbits, and a budgie with a bell But nothing took my fancy 'til just after half past two I saw these green and scaly jaws and beady eyes of blue Well, I made the bloke an offer, he seemed glad to let it go And I thought I'd take it home by train for the tram'd be too slow And when I rolled up at Victoria with the new pet by my side I asked for, "One to Carrington," but the booking clod replied: "Oh no! You can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train. You can take along a tiger, or a puma or a bear, An organ grinder's monkey, or a tortoise or a hare, They can travel in the guard's van if you pay the normal fare, But you can't take that thing on the train!" Sometimes to make an extra bob I do a few odd jobs Such as fetching things and carrying, to please the local nobs When Colonel Smith was moving house, he called me out one day And sent me to the station with some things to ship away There was cabin trunks, and bags and chests, and there was one thing more The colonel brought from Africa when he was in the war And I should take great care of it, it was his joy and pride It had a big black barrel, and a wheel on either side Well, I dragged it to Victoria upon a length of cord And then I called a porter out to help us get on board But just as we were managing to lift it in the van Up runs the stationmaster with his rule book in his hand, And says "You can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train! The itinerant musician, he can take along his harp, The man who sharpens scissors takes his grindstone in a cart, And the Kensington Museum even take their works of art, But you can't take that thing on the train!" Last summer we decided, that's the Mrs, kids, and me, We'd have a week in Skeggy where there's sun and sand and sea. I scrimped and saved a week or two, I even stopped my fags The Mrs wrote and booked the digs and packed up all the bags And then at last time came round, the kids could hardly sleep, But when we got them settled down and started counting sheep The Mrs sidles up to me and says "Now, don't be mad But you know how lonely Mother is since we lost my dear old Dad" Well, I knew just what was coming and I couldn't help but groan I wouldn't say she's massive, but she's wrong side twenty stone And when we turned up at the barrier, our tickets for to show, The inspector took one look at her and then he shouted: "Whoa!" "You can't take that on the train! No, you can't take that on the train! You can take along a camel, with one hump or with two, A hippo or a zebra if they're going to the zoo, We've a special trunk for elephants, but that will never do, No, you can't take that thing on the train!" "You can take... Swans, eggs, table legs, Grooms with horses, coffins, corpses, [?], [?], margarine, acetylene Pianofortes, gramophones, and symphoniums and phonographs, An officer in cavalry can take along his stallion, And bona fide dealers can take specie and bullion, Bicycles and tricycles and children's folding mail carts, To Groomfield, Sheffield, Manchester, even into foreign parts, Velocipedes, flower seeds, but I must tell you plain, You can't take that! You can't take that! You can't take that thing on the train!" [New Victory Band: One More Dance & Then, Topic Records 12TS382, 1978, trk#A3] The above is my transcription from YT but I couldn't make out what comes before "...margarine, acetylene." YT- New Victory Band: You Can't Take That On The Train Another transcription at Amtrak Unlimited, close to the above with some other ommisions: Amtrak Unlimited - Checked Baggage |
14 Oct 16 - 11:45 PM (#3814776) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't take that on the train: Watson From: GUEST,Phil d'Conch Double oops. Should have refreshed the page first. "Biral, mucoline..." of course! |
15 Oct 16 - 03:14 AM (#3814790) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: You can't take that on the train: Watson From: OldPossum Third verse line 4 should be "... but the booking clerk replied:" |