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42 messages

BS: Well, I'll be buttered!

23 Sep 18 - 03:29 AM (#3952219)
Subject: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

I've decided to let my spell checker choose my worms.


23 Sep 18 - 03:35 AM (#3952220)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou

Good Ikea Dave.


23 Sep 18 - 03:47 AM (#3952225)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Will Fly

You must have watched "Last Mango in Doris".


23 Sep 18 - 04:01 AM (#3952232)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou

I've just had a buggered crumpet...


23 Sep 18 - 04:08 AM (#3952234)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

I'm about to make a fell English breakaway.


23 Sep 18 - 04:38 AM (#3952239)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson

I get me mucking furds wuddled.

Dave H


23 Sep 18 - 04:46 AM (#3952240)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

I tried a spoonerism but my chill spectre didn't like it.


23 Sep 18 - 07:04 AM (#3952265)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw

I had a cluttered bumpit at breakfast.


23 Sep 18 - 07:23 AM (#3952269)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson

cupid stunt [ Kenny Everet ]

Dave H


23 Sep 18 - 07:31 AM (#3952270)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

This threat is cloned


23 Sep 18 - 07:35 AM (#3952271)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG

I was listening a few days ago to a comedian who has dyslexia. He was saying his iPhone used to correct all his text but the learning logic means it doesn't know any more and now offers wrong spellings in preference to correct ones - and most of the time he didnt know either....


23 Sep 18 - 10:39 AM (#3952290)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Stilly River Sage

There's an experiment I keep intending to try: write an essay and every time MS Word offers a suggestion, accept it. I think the results would be your thread on a much larger level.


23 Sep 18 - 11:13 AM (#3952303)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Go for it, Stilly! Posy a lino here please :-)


23 Sep 18 - 12:18 PM (#3952316)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Donuel

Be grammarlarily correct


23 Sep 18 - 12:50 PM (#3952321)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: punkfolkrocker

I've just been in the bathroom listening to Amazon Alexa steaming The Velvet Underpants ...


23 Sep 18 - 01:42 PM (#3952327)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

I used to rile the piccalilli lime in the London underdog.


23 Sep 18 - 03:02 PM (#3952344)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson

Whale oil beef hooked.

Dave H


23 Sep 18 - 04:00 PM (#3952359)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Backwoodsman

The guy who invented predictive text died yesterday. His funfair will be held next monkey.


23 Sep 18 - 04:32 PM (#3952366)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

That's rubber! It's not till fried egg.


24 Sep 18 - 04:35 AM (#3952438)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

I apologise if my last remark came across as a personnel attic.


24 Sep 18 - 05:25 AM (#3952445)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou

Germs and excisions apply.


24 Sep 18 - 05:57 AM (#3952450)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG

A genuine one: I was asked to go for a medical: an aortic examination.

Not, as my wife told me, an erotic examination


24 Sep 18 - 06:04 AM (#3952451)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Maybe the latter would have been more fun :-)


24 Sep 18 - 07:30 AM (#3952463)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson

I once asked a barmaid for a pint of breast and a bown ale, she didn't notice my slip.

Dave H


24 Sep 18 - 08:04 AM (#3952471)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou

I've actually told several people that I bark with Banclays.


24 Sep 18 - 08:36 AM (#3952476)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw

Pint of Titbread Wankard please.


24 Sep 18 - 10:26 AM (#3952489)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

A double diode works wonders.


24 Sep 18 - 10:56 AM (#3952493)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Anyway, Stove. I thought you were a wind man, not a beer drinker.


24 Sep 18 - 12:18 PM (#3952514)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG

At a bar which apparently sells modem cocktails.


24 Sep 18 - 12:22 PM (#3952516)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw

I'm a well-educative scintist frist and fourmost who learned a lotta kids scince in his time I'll let you know!


24 Sep 18 - 01:12 PM (#3952526)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: leeneia

I saw a video where a house had a diagonal post beam. Somebody commented on it, and his software changed it to diagnostic port team. The guy didn't even notice. Let me juxtapose those:

diagonal post beam
diagnostic port team

Whatever. I wonder what a post beam would be, anyway.


24 Sep 18 - 08:52 PM (#3952612)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Bill D

All *I* have is a dumb phone, so lexdistic posts are not my problem. On my old, antique Win7 desktop machine, I use TinySpell and 'almost' never have a smelling problem.


25 Sep 18 - 04:26 AM (#3952653)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Nice one Ball :-)


25 Sep 18 - 04:47 AM (#3952661)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw

Stop calling the poor chap "One-ball!"


25 Sep 18 - 06:12 AM (#3952678)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

OK.

Nice one Bull.

:D


25 Sep 18 - 03:09 PM (#3952791)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: punkfolkrocker

"Bing Crosby sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison for sexual assault conviction"


25 Sep 18 - 04:37 PM (#3952807)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Ahhhhhh. Just seen the Bill Cosby reference in another thread. Thought you had gone mad pulpfolddocker.


25 Sep 18 - 04:49 PM (#3952815)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: frogprince

They should sentence Bing too; he's really rotten.


25 Sep 18 - 04:54 PM (#3952817)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

Bing is really Johnny Rotten???


27 Sep 18 - 04:17 PM (#3953257)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Tattie Bogle

Si leased wi masel!
Menaged to trun aff inappropriate suppositories frae Vaginamidwifery.
Keep reporting pogroms I reely diinae wont on our Tito bocs.
Fund 40 unwonted pogroms there, all carp, all sins dealeated.
If u hav the saem porblem, goo tae HELP!! Seatings, Recodings, then trun ffo Suppositories!


27 Sep 18 - 05:33 PM (#3953267)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome

A Scottish spill chucker! Wonder what that Rabbi Burns would have made of it :-)


27 Sep 18 - 06:32 PM (#3953276)
Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Tattie Bogle

The Jabocites would hae lent ye onything, e'en their ears - or their een, if they werenae tae Kiccikrankled tae dae it!