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19 Mar 19 - 07:45 AM (#3983080) Subject: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Steve Shaw "You've still got a wonderful bottom, dear" (The lie in this case being that you left out "for your age...") |
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19 Mar 19 - 07:58 AM (#3983083) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Dave the Gnome The older I get, the stronger I am. When I was 20 I couldn't bend my boner. I can now. :D tG |
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19 Mar 19 - 08:34 AM (#3983088) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: gillymor "Yes it really is 10 inches" then mumbling "of course that's in dog inches." |
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19 Mar 19 - 08:50 AM (#3983092) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Mrrzy I"m sterile. |
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19 Mar 19 - 09:06 AM (#3983097) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Doug Chadwick I promise I won't come in your mouth. |
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19 Mar 19 - 10:24 AM (#3983109) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Steve Shaw Bloke in pub told me this one (hastening to add that I don't share any of its underlying sexist sentiment): "Know why women can't judge distance?" (holds up finger and thumb tip two inches apart)... "Because all their lives they've been told that this is nine inches..." |
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19 Mar 19 - 08:29 PM (#3983227) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Rapparee "I'm God's Gift to sex!" |
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20 Mar 19 - 07:05 AM (#3983305) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: gillymor "The credit card is in my front pocket, dear. Heh, heh, heh." |
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20 Mar 19 - 07:59 AM (#3983321) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Steve Shaw "My wife and I have this understanding..." |
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20 Mar 19 - 12:13 PM (#3983394) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: punkfolkrocker of course I love you, and if you really loved me.... |
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20 Mar 19 - 12:55 PM (#3983402) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Jos A man in his fifties at a bus stop decided to have a conversation with me. He told me he had been at school with my daughter. He had obviously spent most of the morning in the pub, and started to tell me how much he loved women (a bit like people who say they love dogs). He said the secret to pleasing a woman was to praise her, agree with everything she said, and give her everything she wanted. BUT - the important thing that you had to remember was that women like to be put in their place now and then ... It obviously hadn't worked for him. I decided to walk home instead of waiting for the bus. |
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22 Mar 19 - 11:13 AM (#3983862) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Helen gillymor, I'm a bit confused. Dog inches? Is that like one year of a dog's life = 7 years in human life? dog years I think, looking at the chart on that page, a) no one would even believe you, b) you'd never get any action at all. :-D |
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22 Mar 19 - 01:19 PM (#3983904) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: gillymor Yes, Helen, 1=7 in that joke. Very well spotted. “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”- E.B White Btw, the dog inches joke was related to me by a derelict named Chook and does not come from personal experience. |
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22 Mar 19 - 01:29 PM (#3983909) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: punkfolkrocker Some while back it occured to me it might be profitable to get 3/4 scale imperial one foot rulers bulk manufactured and sell them on ebay as "Penis Measuring Rulers"... |
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22 Mar 19 - 02:04 PM (#3983924) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Steve Shaw Man sidles up to other man in pub. "Hey, pal, between you and me we've got five bollocks." "Really, mate? Why, have you only got the one?" |
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22 Mar 19 - 02:19 PM (#3983932) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Helen Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, gillymor! LOL |
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24 Mar 19 - 11:35 AM (#3984352) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Mrrzy Steve Shaw, also My wife doesn't understand me... |
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24 Mar 19 - 11:52 AM (#3984358) Subject: RE: BS: Sexual lies we believe From: Jim Carroll Old Liverpool one "Trust me, I'm a docker" Jim Carroll |