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A Topical Question

25 May 20 - 02:58 PM (#4055130)
Subject: A Topical Question
From: Dave Sutherland

Q What connects Little Musgrave and Dominic Cummings?

A Neither should have gone to Barnard Castle


25 May 20 - 03:21 PM (#4055134)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: GUEST

"What is I am Lord Barnard's wife?
Lord Barnard's not at home
For he has gone to Durham town
To quarantine alone"


25 May 20 - 03:49 PM (#4055138)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Steve Shaw

From Barnard Castle, upriver via Middleton-inTeesdale, via tree-clad Kirkcarrion, into upper Teesdale (have your picnic on the hexagonal basalt rocks at Low Force waterfall), on to High Force and Langdon Beck...God's own country. I haven't been for 45 years. Last time we were there, we stayed at Langdon Beck youth hostel, and, next day, walked from there via Falcon Clints and Caldron Snout, up the Maize Beck to that amazing Pennine highlight, High Cup. Then down to Dufton youth hostel. What a day that was. If you run there tomorrow you might just catch the last of the spring gentians, the most beautiful blue in the world. But watch out for the infamous Widdybank bull!


26 May 20 - 03:39 AM (#4055208)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mr Red

All these Cummings and Goings

Cue for the complete song.


26 May 20 - 03:46 AM (#4055211)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mr Red

I've seen it pointed-out that two lockdown breakers have received screeds on Twatter (whatever that is) and Cummings zero. Censorship & national security are not strange bedfellows, but how are Cummings' Goings - security? National I will give you. Disgrace more apt.


26 May 20 - 04:16 AM (#4055215)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jos

"My eyes are dim
I cannot see
That lockdown rules
Apply to me.
I'll go
For a drive
With my fa-mi-ly ..."


26 May 20 - 08:18 AM (#4055243)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jim Carroll

A toty Juniot minister has just resigned obver this fiasco - is there a verse in that somewhere, I wonder
Jim


26 May 20 - 08:29 PM (#4055390)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Tattie Bogle

Rumour has it that he just wanted to get back to football refereeing, where the rules are SOOO much clearer!???
Or that he has his eye on being the next Tory leader in Scotland.........??????


27 May 20 - 03:58 AM (#4055415)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mr Red

My conscious mind
says do not stay
I am resigned
I have resigned
from this cabinet
forthwith
today


27 May 20 - 08:44 AM (#4055463)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mrrzy

Above the line, no?

I have (have) not (not)
Brought my mask with me!


27 May 20 - 09:56 AM (#4055471)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mrrzy

Also, do you use sunscreen?


27 May 20 - 03:11 PM (#4055512)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jos

There are masks, masks
For everyone who asks
In the store,
In the store.
There are masks, masks
For all those intimate tasks
In the Cummings/Johnson store.


27 May 20 - 03:30 PM (#4055515)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jos

There are tests, tests,
A hundred thousand tests
In the store,
In the store.
There are tests, tests,
At least according to est-
imates or it could be more.


27 May 20 - 04:38 PM (#4055529)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jos

There are queues, queues,
Whichever shop you choose,
At the store,
At the store.
There are queues, queues -
I've heard it on The News -
At the supermarket store.


27 May 20 - 05:24 PM (#4055533)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Jos

[Alternative version of previous verse]


There are queues, queues,
Whichever shop you choose,
At the store,
At the store.
There are queues, long queues,
Social-isolating queues
At the supermarket store.


27 May 20 - 05:47 PM (#4055538)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mr Red

There's a smell, smell
One I cannot tell
At the store
At the store
There's a smell, smell
In my isolated hell
Not the supermarket store

My eyes are dim I cannot see
I have not brought my specs with me
I - have - not - brought - my - specs - with - me -
At Barnard Castle's supermarket store.


28 May 20 - 07:48 AM (#4055605)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: Mrrzy

Oh it's space space space
Don't get right in my face
Please stay home
Just stay home
Oh it's space space space
You need to go noplace
Order online from your home!

Definitely above the line.


28 May 20 - 08:40 AM (#4055616)
Subject: RE: A Topical Question
From: weerover

There's vaccine, vaccine
Nowhere to be seen...
And no visors, visors
Nor yet hand sanitizers...