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12 Feb 24 - 03:17 PM (#4197078) Subject: Lyr Add: Failure of a Pickup (aka Loose Wheel) From: GUEST,Rick Pollay (aka Saul T. Dawg) Failure of a Pickup Inspired by a Simply Weasels parody but heavily revised by Rick Pollay Tune: "Lucille" by Roger Bowling and Hal Bynum (1977) SLOW WALTZ ca 3:30 In a bar is Wisconsin, while scratchin’ my johnson On a bar stool I took in the scene And I saw her walk over, seeming only half-sober as she bounced off the jukebox machine When the pain finally hit her, she cried “I’m no quitter” Came up close and leaned on my knees Said “I don’t want no laughter but, boy, what I am after Is what you got inside your jeans! She was tall and pretty even though a bit gritty She was poured quite well in her jeans I imagined I’d savor a taste of her flavor Tho’ I thought “This must be a dream” But we stumbled to my pickup. She whispered “Hurry up” As we drove down the road towards my bed Then I felt like cryin’ when my rear wheel went flyin’ There were many four-letter words said CHL You picked a fine time leave me loose wheel That woman was eager ‘tho I’m far from ideal I wouldn’t mind a hubcap, a bumper or a mud flap But why or why, my rear wheel You picked a fine time leave me loose wheel Well we sat there for a while, then I gave her a smile But she said “Now I’m not in the mood!” Without hesitation I felt total frustration Still enjoying fantasies lewd So I begged and I pleaded that she had what I needed But she slowly opened her door Along come a dump truck whose driver had dumb luck She was leaving with him that’s for sure You picked a fine time leave me loose wheel That woman was eager ‘tho I’m far from ideal I wouldn’t mind a hubcap, a bumper or a mud flap But, why or why, my rear wheel You picked a fine time leave me loose wheel Note: There are several other "loose wheel" songs zippered into the tune of "Lucille", such as Loose Wheel - Jan Unwin On a road in Toledo, across from the depot, I was cruising in my old heap. It wasn't good lookin' but I was sure bookin' and anyway I got it dirt cheap. Me and my old lady were cruising 'bout 80 when the car really started to roar Round the curve we were turnin', and something was burnin' But I shoved that old gas pedal down to the floor In the mirror I saw something cruise down the highway I thought how it looked out of place It was my tire, going like fire I had a strange look on my face I really don't know but, it looked like a donut For a minute I thought I was dead I started crying, I thought we were dying I looked out the windshield and said You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel With four old bald tires, you were such a good deal I've had some clunkers, some really bad junkers But you were just a great steal You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel After the collision, I made a decision I thought how I'd lived through it all In the glow of the headlights, I checked out the damage You really couldn't see much at all I started thinking, I'm glad I'm not drinking And these words came back time after time CHORUS See also, for different versions Loose Wheel Balgaard Bros. (lyrics re repair) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_vjjck8R-c Loose Wheel By real trucker, "Captain Zig-Zag" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKaw0t3LqX0 |