28 Jan 00 - 10:24 AM (#169702) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine I saw a funny story in the newspaper this morning that I thought would make a great subject for a song. Then I figured why not make it a challenge for the 'Catters to write a song about this and see who wrote the funniest one? I'd like to make this a regular thread, so share your great ideas with us and let's see what we can come up with! All songs are eligible for inclusion in the Mudcat Songbook; but, the ones voted 'Best Challenge Song' will have a special notation beside it. Here's the news story: The cops get a call from a woman telling them to arrest her husband, who's in a motel room with another woman. They tell her that although what he's doing is immoral, it's not illegal. Then she tells them that the husband has a warrant out for his arrest. They check it out, and sure enough, it's true. The cops go to the motel and knock on the door. The man goes out the back window and starts to shimmy down a galavanized pipe -- not bothering to put on his clothes! The officer at the bottom of pipe shouts for the fella to come down. The man looks at the officer and says, 'Who? Me?', and the officer says 'How many naked guys on pipes do you think I'm talking to?" There you go -- Take it away! -- Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 10:51 AM (#169717) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Mary in Kentucky I'm thinking "shimmy like my sister Kate." |
28 Jan 00 - 11:28 AM (#169741) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: InOBU Life is full of rude awakenings Larry |
28 Jan 00 - 04:26 PM (#169877) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Miz Henley's Revenge C~~~~~~A~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mrs Henley called the coppers A~~~~~D7 There was no one home to stop her D7~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~G For her husband, sad to tell G~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~G7~~~~~~~~~C Was shacked up in a cheap motel!
Coppers, nab him! Bust him! Jail him!
Saw him riding on the trolley
The deskman, kind Patrolman Beagle
Mrs Henley, near conniption,
Mister Henley, and his Sally
Suddenly their am'rous bumpin'
John Henley leaped up in the buff!
On the drainpipe he was clinging
Henley swinging in the night
John thought he could still stay free
Now instead of fornication
Meanwhile, Mrs Henley waited |
28 Jan 00 - 04:33 PM (#169881) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine Amos!! You De Man!! Ring That Bell!! We Have A Winnah!! If anyone else wants to give it a go -- PLEASE DO -- the idea was to get a lot of entries for the challenge!! If you have another challenge idea - let us see it!! -- Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 04:50 PM (#169896) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: MMario you think I gonna do anything after Amos posts that you NUTS! BRAVO, Amos! |
28 Jan 00 - 05:00 PM (#169904) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Awww...shucks, it jes...sorta come to me, y'know? Aw... A. |
28 Jan 00 - 05:13 PM (#169909) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Mbo Amos, you're UNSTOPPABLE! You certainly aren't LI (Lyrically Impaired) like me! If you need some tunes for your songs, I'd be honored to write them for such as master of words as thou art! --Mbo
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28 Jan 00 - 05:21 PM (#169913) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine Dear Amos (The Great and Wonderful!), Is there any chance of you being able to put this song into a MP3 or WAV file and sending it to Max to play on next week's Mudcat Radio? Barring that, could you record it on a tape and send it to him? The world (well, at least the Mudcat World) needs to hear your songs!! And if you don't want to send it to Max, you can send *me* all the songs you've contributed to the Songbook on a tape . . . pretty please??? Your biggest fan, Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 05:35 PM (#169917) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Now dear, you have to stop (no! no!) or I'll turn so red you'll take me for a fire hydrant, and you know the life they lead! I'll send you an .aif file which you're WAV player should be able to handle, if that's okay. A. |
28 Jan 00 - 05:41 PM (#169918) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine There you go, Amos -- The First Ever Mudcat Song Challenge Winner -- the song's in the Mudcat Songbook. I don't think you'll have a hard time at all finding out where it is on the page (he he he)! Congratulations, Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 05:41 PM (#169919) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: MMario so - does Áine play nice and share? |
28 Jan 00 - 05:49 PM (#169923) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine MMario -- I alway play nice (except when I'm playing dirty . . .) and I'll share with you . . . exactly what did you want to share? The tape or the .AIFF file -- either one that Mr. Wonderful wants to send me (hint, hint), I'll share with you! -- Áine And Amos -- my email is on bbc's Mudcat Resources Page that's accessible through the 'Quick Links' at the top of this page. .AIFF would be just fine -- and thank you in advance! -- Á. |
28 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM (#169930) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: katlaughing Well I had something in mind about the naked guy "bobbiting" his own, but Amos wins hands-down! Great Job!!! whoo-Hoo!!!! katlaughing |
28 Jan 00 - 07:02 PM (#169962) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Liz the Squeak Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life... Tom Lehrer, nice image...... LTS |
28 Jan 00 - 07:13 PM (#169966) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine OK, Song Challenge Fans, I've double dog dared the lurkers over on the 'Areas for Improvement on the Mudcat' thread to come over here and write a song about an 'incandescent pickle' . . . We'll just see if they're up to the Challenge!!! -- Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 09:11 PM (#170010) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Disclaimer: You must be over eighteen to continue reading this post. Any offended sensibilities should be reported to Max who will issue a software patch. (Well, it couldn't be hardware, now could it?) I accept complete blame for the carnivorous nature of this ditty, since I downloaded it from the wrong Muse in the first place. Amos
Your Pickle Glows At Night (Tune: The RIsing of the Moon)
"Is it really incandescence, that makes you burn like that?
CHO: When your pickle glows at night, when your pickle glows at night!
"Hushabye, me little colleen, and calm yer fearfful breast!
So with gentle words, all smiling, he sought to make her calm
CHO: When your pickle glows at night, when your pickle glows at night
By this time a year has passéd by, the lass has changed her tune!
CHO: When your pickle glows at night, when your pickle glows at night!
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28 Jan 00 - 09:36 PM (#170018) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Lonesome EJ I was walking on the sidewalk in Downtown Buffalo When I heard a passing stranger say "he's putting on a show" I looked down to check, convinced my zipper was undone But I was shocked to see my pickle shining like the Sun!
Does your pickle spark and sputter
The President strode up to the stage to thunderous applause
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28 Jan 00 - 09:43 PM (#170023) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Wooo! You go, LEJ! W. J. Clinton, Chief Pickle Shiner. A |
28 Jan 00 - 10:53 PM (#170049) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine This is great!!! Amos and LEJ, you're neck in neck -- or should that be pickle to pickle? No, I won't go there . . . Well, anyway, great job!! LEJ - Come on, I'm dying to see some more verses to go with that 'shining' chorus!! Amos - I listened to the AIFF file of Miz Henley's Revenge, and I have to say, I REALLY AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!! It's still a challenge y'all -- let's keep it going! (And I have a great idea for the next one . . .) -- Áine |
28 Jan 00 - 11:09 PM (#170053) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Lonesome EJ Gore and Bush and John McCain, and Bradley, Keyes and Forbes Had gathered to give the folks a glance at their intellectual orbs But when it came to the pickle test, the fray was badly fought All their gherkins totalled up made far less than one watt
Of all the reindeer in Santa's herd, there's little said of Tony |
28 Jan 00 - 11:31 PM (#170061) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Yeeeehaaa! Tony the incandescent-pickled reindeer! Too much! A |
28 Jan 00 - 11:44 PM (#170068) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin Gee guys! when I heard "glowing pickles" my mind turned to fields of Los Alamos? cucumbers. |
28 Jan 00 - 11:45 PM (#170069) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin like you ideas much better! |
28 Jan 00 - 11:51 PM (#170071) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos You could really gallop headfirst down that path -- a song with lines like, "Oh, the pickles of Bikini, it is said they glow at night..." but I (for one) am not sure I want to go there! -- racial guilt or something -- I like Tony, the Incandescent Reindeer myself. Or ...maybe the Three Mile Island Pickle is the theme for it...
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28 Jan 00 - 11:57 PM (#170074) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin you can go down that path as long as you keep your mind in the vegetable garden...... |
28 Jan 00 - 11:59 PM (#170076) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese My vegetable love should grow, / Vaster than empires, and more slow. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:10 AM (#170082) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin Its uses I will ponder now Ah yes, to sooth a maidens brow! Or on Earl's sandwich, sliced and green But never with a Queen be seen. How does this relate to glowing pickles? |
29 Jan 00 - 12:13 AM (#170085) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: catspaw49 How can I vote for ONE of these fine songs??? Just simply a fantastic job all around. And uh, Famous Amos....I talked it over with Cleigh and Cletus, Paw, Buford, and the Reg boys and we all hear a gospel kinda' tune to yours, more country somehow, along the lines of Dolly's "Coat of Many Colors" or something. I fear we are also adding another piece of Mudcat Folklore here and I'd like to apologize once again for throwing out some whacky-ass piece of tripe which somehow catches on. But since it may, I'd suggest that whistles shaped like possums may be difficult to get, but gawd knows anybody can convert a KAZOO to look like a PICKLE!!! So if this keeps up, I'd say we might consider the Pickle Kazoo as an Official Mudcat Instrument. Spaw |
29 Jan 00 - 12:20 AM (#170089) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine I don't know, Spaw . . . If they can make a whistle that looks like a weiner, why couldn't they make a kazoo that looks like a pickle? But, remember, it would have to glow in the dark! And as far as Amos playing like Dolly -- well, I've heard him sing, and I just cannot imagine him pickin' with long pink glued-on fingernails! And Amos, don't you dare shatter my illusions on this point, either! The Official Mudcat Pickle Kazoo -- I like it, Spaw. And it would look great on a T-shirt, too . . . -- Áine |
29 Jan 00 - 12:28 AM (#170093) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin My vegetable love should grow, Vaster than empires, and more slow. Its uses I will ponder now, Ah yes, to sooth a maidens brow! Or on Earl's sandwich, sliced and green But never with a Queen be seen. An incandescent pickle? No! But it can make a Lady glow. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:30 AM (#170094) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Lonesome EJ The words of Martin Luther King rang from every steeple To praise the Brotherhood of Man, the Pride of all his People "Let's move on to the day," said he," with hearts no longer fickle When a man's not judged by hue of skin, but by the brightness of his pickle" |
29 Jan 00 - 12:39 AM (#170095) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Marvellous Metchosin! The jar's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:40 AM (#170096) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Marvellous Metchosin! The jar's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:40 AM (#170097) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Marvellous Metchosin! The jar's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:40 AM (#170098) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Marvellous Metchosin! The jar's a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:44 AM (#170100) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Sorry about that my computer's getting tired. |
29 Jan 00 - 12:46 AM (#170101) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Incandescent Pickle II (Tune: Universal Soldier, by Buffy Sainte Marie) It's centimeters wide, and its seven inches long, IIt's smoother than a baby's face, and wrinkled like a prune, It's the Incandescent Pickle, and it drives its men insane! It 's motivated murders, made the Vikings leave their homes, But without it why would Bonaparte have murdered half of France? It's the Incandescent pickle, and it's never gonna change |
29 Jan 00 - 12:47 AM (#170102) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Lonesome EJ Yes! Truly a Marvell!
Had we but world enough, and brine, |
29 Jan 00 - 12:49 AM (#170103) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin Amos......WOW! |
29 Jan 00 - 12:50 AM (#170105) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Lonesome EJ Ah, sweet mother of all that's holy,Amos...the Incandescent Pickle II is a howler! |
29 Jan 00 - 12:54 AM (#170107) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin I'm going to have to start wearing "golf diapers" if I keep hanging around here. I just laughed so hard I wet my pants. |
29 Jan 00 - 01:08 AM (#170109) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: catspaw49 I think that one will do it Amos! LMAO Spaw |
29 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM (#170111) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos (Bows and faints dead on the floor from exertion) |
29 Jan 00 - 01:17 AM (#170113) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: catspaw49 Yeah,,,Kick back and hum a pickle......... Spaw |
29 Jan 00 - 01:20 AM (#170114) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Is that like gherkin off? Key? |
29 Jan 00 - 01:24 AM (#170115) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: catspaw49 Only if you're a midget. Personally mine's a dill(y). Spaw |
29 Jan 00 - 01:33 AM (#170117) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos Lavender's blue dilly dilly! Lavender's green!
Remember never to put your pickle in a pickle slicer. It'll get you both fired! A. |
29 Jan 00 - 01:48 AM (#170119) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Metchosin I don't wanna pickle Just wanna ride my motorsickle! |
29 Jan 00 - 02:00 AM (#170120) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Amos I used to feel that way about my Norton. But I always wondered if maybe calling it motor sickle implied something like an automated scything machine. |
29 Jan 00 - 02:22 AM (#170123) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: catspaw49 That pickle slicer doesn't sound like anything I'd relish. Spaw |
29 Jan 00 - 03:04 AM (#170128) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: bseed(charleskratz) Sophocleese, I always liked Marvell's poem, but I never anticipated it would so illuminate a point. Why was his mistress coy? Cuz he was radioactive? --seed |
29 Jan 00 - 08:28 PM (#170179) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: katlaughing Inch by inch Glow by glow Gonna watch my pickle grow Gonna watch my pickle grow An' I'll use it night and day!
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29 Jan 00 - 08:40 PM (#170190) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: sophocleese Quoth the pickle,"Everglow." Last night I went to bed with this line revolving in my head: I had nightmares. Amos, now I may go to bed for more strange dreams as I dream of the Incandescent Pickle II. That's great one. |
29 Jan 00 - 08:59 PM (#170204) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Caitrin Oh my goodness...it's a good thing I just turned 18! Actually, I think it would be pretty easy to convert a regular kazoo into a pickle kazoo. All it takes is wire (or toothpicks and rubber bands), green tissue paper (or construction paper), a marker (optional) and some time! And maybe a little glue and/or tape. |
29 Jan 00 - 09:03 PM (#170207) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine Go for it, Caitrin! And we want to see the pictures when you're done! -- Áine (Maybe we could get you together with Mbo for a concert with his Mudcat-shaped Guitar!) |
29 Jan 00 - 09:30 PM (#170225) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: McGrath of Harlow Great stuff. Fit for the tradition.
Here's a song Alan Sealey (who suddenly died a few weeks back) and his brother Dave, who comprised Cosmotheka, had as a trade mark. From the DT: A LITTLE BIT OF CUCUMBER I was raised on cucumber and on my wedding day,
Chorus:
I went flying through the air with my old college chum
To the Lord Mayor's banquet I got in one foggy day
Several years of married life have brought me lots of joys, |
29 Jan 00 - 09:42 PM (#170230) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine Thank you, Kevin, for reminding us all of Alan. I must say that I've thought of pickles/cucumbers in this fashion before. Very enlightening, fellas! -- Áine |
29 Jan 00 - 09:48 PM (#170233) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Caitrin Aine, just the thought of a kazoo and non-tuned, wire strung, fish-shaped guitar concert is scaring me. : ) But when I manage to build the pickle kazoo (just call me the Mudcat MacGyver--building strange instruments out of household objects), I'll take a picture and find some kind soul who will scan it in for me. |
29 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM (#170238) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Sorcha OK, here goes. I can't compete with Amos, but I gotta join the fan club. Do you have to have a pickle To get a little tickle? Do you need to have a vine To let your bushel shine? You with cutie "cumbers" We without, we have your numbers Sweet,sour,Kosher,dill They all grow from the same little hill |
29 Jan 00 - 09:59 PM (#170242) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine And on that note (?) I hereby end the FIRST EVER MUDCAT SONG CHALLENGE -- and the games go on folks, over on the SONG CHALLENGE! PART 2 thread -- click here -- with a new challenge . . . One bite makes you larger, the other makes you small . . -- Áine |
30 Jan 00 - 04:52 PM (#170599) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Liz the Squeak I once heard a song that I can only remember the chorus of....
It's long and green and it looks obscene I suspect it was Doc Cox, aka Ivor Biggun, on the BBC TV program 'That's Life', but I could be wrong.... LTS |
16 Aug 01 - 08:33 AM (#529098) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Aidan Crossey Catching up time! To the tune of "You Rambling Boys Of Pleasure"
You rambling boys of pleasure |
16 Aug 01 - 08:58 AM (#529112) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: MMario Memories....like a pickle in the night.... Well done, DMC! |
16 Aug 01 - 09:04 AM (#529118) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine A brilliant 'ne'er-too-late' entry, derrymacash! You are hereby named a Winner of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest. Maith thú! -- Áine |
16 Aug 01 - 11:15 AM (#529242) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Jack the Sailor I was going to write more, but I think this says it all....
{Chorus}
Come on in, from, that pipe or we will shoot
{Chorus} |
16 Aug 01 - 03:13 PM (#529495) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine Ah, my darlin' Jack, that one set me to dancin'... ;-) Your Bad Boys have won the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song! Congratulations! -- Áine |
16 Aug 01 - 03:34 PM (#529532) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Jack the Sailor Merci, merci. I would have been happy with the cow chip. |
17 Aug 01 - 10:52 AM (#530139) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: SharonA As promised in the "Paw Paw" thread, I'm here to post my parody of yet another Disney song... THE BARE-NUTS ESCAPEE (Tune: "The Bare Necessities" from Walt Disney's THE JUNGLE BOOK [animated version]) "Look for the bare-nuts escapee, the simply bare-nuts escapee. Go get him out of her, please," said his wife. "That mean ol' bare-nuts escapee – another woman's refugee – So bring that bare-nuts escapee some strife!" Whenever I ponder My weird 911's The man with no onder- -wear on his buns Would be a puzzlin' case, you see. I took the call at 12:03... "Would you look in Motel Six? My Lance There takes his 'nancy'. If Lance's pants In A-3 lie, it's true The bare-nuts escapee will likely be there, too. He'll be there, too. "Look for the bare-nuts escapee, the simply bare-nuts escapee. Go get him out of her, please," said his wife. "That mean ol' bare-nuts escapee – he's lyin' there (her 'guest', you see)! – Adjust that bare-nuts escapee's love-life!" "Now, don't you pick the law, maw," To the prickly dear I said. "Pricks we saw raw, But let's try 'n' be clear. Don't stick the prick, who cheats there, with the law." "When you pick out where his arrest you saw, Then you will heed this news from 'maw'. When you pick, and stare at, the big law wa- -rrant that's issued for him, too, The bare-nuts escapee won't like it when you do What you will do." (instrumental law-break) So then I got the facts: yeah, fool has got a record five blocks wide. Now let me tell the dumb thing: little bitch is In the act with the blue-jackets (uh-huh) Door-knockin' outside! They don't spend much time lookin' around For out on a pipe he can be found With his hind out in the wind, without Any clothing on, just clingin' and shoutin': "Zat me you're talkin' to??" "Well, bare-nuts escapee, it's likely to be you," They said, "Yes, you!!!" "Lock up that bare-nuts escapee, the simple bare-nuts escapee. Go get him down from there. Please tell his wife: "Your mean ol' bare-nuts escapee is in our care! So, rest; be free Without that bare-nuts escapee for life! Without that bare-nuts escapee for life!" (Yeah, man!) |
17 Aug 01 - 10:56 AM (#530142) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Aidan Crossey INSPIRED!!! |
17 Aug 01 - 11:14 AM (#530160) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Jack the Sailor Sharon That was wonderfully quirky and weird. Waht is it about Disney songs an nudity?? |
17 Aug 01 - 11:27 AM (#530166) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: SharonA Yup, that's me, quirky and weird! Thanks, guys. |
17 Aug 01 - 05:41 PM (#530415) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: mousethief Well, in keeping with the "Disney" theme, I started with:
I wanna be where the pickles are But for some reason just couldn't get any further. Aren't we glad! The following, on the other hand, goes far too far.
The Long-Pickle Song
When I was young, it seemed that veggies were edible
There are times when all the world's asleep No, let's just not go there. Alex |
18 Aug 01 - 07:25 PM (#530901) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: Áine SharonA, I know you must be virtually afloat in a virtual Guinness shower (oh!); however, it's not my fault that you keep me on the floor with the dust bunnies, rolling with mirth . . . What a way to go!
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song): |
15 Mar 05 - 05:11 AM (#1435107) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! From: GUEST,Mr S The song was Great Big Pickled Gerkin by Stan Holden |
04 Nov 11 - 07:33 AM (#3250164) Subject: RE: Song Challenge! From: GUEST It was Stan Holden with Bob Sharples And His Music – Great Big Pickled Gherkin |