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Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick

31 Jan 00 - 03:11 AM (#170895)
Subject: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,The guest whom he hates

Does anyone know the chords or lyrics to the song "Theres nothing I'd like more than Joe Offers head on a stick" thanks

31 Jan 00 - 03:19 AM (#170898)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Joe Offer

Try A B C D E F G, or a combination thereof.
Respectfully submitted,
-Joe Offer-

31 Jan 00 - 03:21 AM (#170900)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Bugsy

I don't know the lyrics/chords to that song.Do you know them to "Piss Off and Bother Someone Else"?

Bugsy

31 Jan 00 - 03:23 AM (#170901)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,The guest whom he hates

Thank you Joe. I'm in your debt, I was trying to figure them out for years, your a life saver.

31 Jan 00 - 06:35 AM (#170921)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,micca at work

does the Chorus go
you can have Joe Offers head on a stick
-on label of your choice
you can have Joe Offers head on a stick
-on label if your nice
and some of these insulting threads are simply for the birds
he puts his effort where his mouth is, unlike these sniping turds

31 Jan 00 - 06:45 AM (#170923)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: John in Brisbane

This is the closest I could find. It's in the DT (apologies for transcribing) and the two sequels are pretty good too. Regards, John

ALBERT AND THE LION

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
That's noted for fresh air and fun
And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.
A fine little lad were young Albert,
All dressed in his best, quite a swell.
He'd a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle;
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
They didn't think much to the ocean,
The waves they were piddlin' and small.
There were no wrecks and nobody drownded,
'Fact, nothin' to laugh at at all!
So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid, and went into the zoo,
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And cold ale and sandwiches, too.
There were one great big lion called Wallace
Whose nose was all covered with scars;
He lay in a som-no-lent posture
With the side of 'is face on the bars.
Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions-
'Ow they was ferocious and wild;
To see lion lyin' so peaceful
Just didn't seem right to the child.
So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showin' a morsel of fear,
Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And stuck it in Wallace's ear.
You could see that the lion din't like it,
For givin' a kind of a roll,
'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallered the little lad - 'ole!
Now Mother 'ad seen this occurrence,
And not knowin' what to do next,
She 'ollered "Yon lion's et Albert!"
An' Father said "Ee, I am vexed."
They complained to an animal keeper
Who said "My, wot a nasty mis'ap;
Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?"
Pa said, "Am I sure? There's 'is cap!"
The manager 'ad to be sent for;
'E came and 'e said "Wot's to-do?"
Ma said "Yon lion's et Albert,
And 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!"
Father said "Right's right, young feller-
I think it's a shame and a sin
To 'ave our son et by a lion
And after we paid to come in."
The manager wanted no trouble;
He took out his purse right away,
Sayin' "'Ow much to settle the matter?"
Pa said "Wot do you usually pay?"
But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward
When she saw where 'er Albert 'ad gone.
She said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"
So that was decided upon.
And off they all went to p'lice station
In front of a Magistrate chap;
They told what 'ad 'appened to Albert
And proved it by showing 'is cap.
The Magistrate gave 'is opinion
That no one was really to blame,
And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms
Would 'ave further sons to their name.
At that Mother got proper blazin':
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she-
"Wot, spend all our lives raisin' children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"


Recorded by Stanley Halloway

31 Jan 00 - 10:52 AM (#171017)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: InOBU

Funny thing Joe:
Ever notice that what ever any of us do to make the world a little nicer, bring about a little justice, give a soul a break, have a nice little party, put on a concert, etc... some other guy gets put out because our effort does not conform to that persons standard of perfect, and yet, those same fellas dont waste time building their own little Utopia?
No need to tell you, the majority appreciates what you do.
Sorry I missed ya at Annaps, - for which I have no complaints, only regrets and hopes to see you all soon
Larry

31 Jan 00 - 11:04 AM (#171021)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

Ya can put it on a pedastal, you can put it on a stick.
But back off of Joe Offer, he's the one that makes it click

He's the man who built the Mudcat, with his buddy Mighty Max
If you raise a hand agin him, we will see ya get the ax

For to fault the one who does the work
Is pure depravity
So take yer stick and stick it
In yer darkest cavity!

Ya can go and stand alone outside
Upon the other shore
And listen, mis'rably deprived
to the Mighty Mudcat's roar

But if you will reconsider, you will find we're not unkind
And allow you to remove the stick
From yer bloody red behind!

Maggi Stokes, Master at Arms

31 Jan 00 - 11:33 AM (#171038)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Áine

Amos! You really are a right devil -- but you're backing the right horse in this race. Is this the song that Bugsy was referring to -- "Piss Off and Bother Someone Else"? I'll give a 9 AND you can dance to it!

John in Brisbane -- Thanks for reminding me of "Albert and The Lion" -- I hadn't thought of that song is years and I remember Stanley Holloway singing it. He was wonderful!

Micca -- Brilliant, as always, my dear.

A Lorcan -- The kind of folks you're speaking of are the ones who didn't listen to their mother when she said "Don't eat the yellow snow."

-- Áine

31 Jan 00 - 11:41 AM (#171043)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

Well, dear, I didna know you were listening; sometimes when the going gets rough, a lady should just shut her ears. :>)

It's between those who want to create the 'Cat, and those who wish to make it disappear,and I wan't have no truck with someone wanting to do such a wicked thing! Sorry if I waxed too wroth!

A.

31 Jan 00 - 11:55 AM (#171055)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Peter T.

Oh, there's nothing girls would rather lick
than Joe Offer's head on a stick --
when the days are stickles
They all want Offercicles,
When the sidewalk fries --
Eskimofferpies!
Sprinkles, cherries, flavours galore,
Offer, Offer, Offer more --
Ben and Jerry take the hint:
Joe's the best since peppermint --
Oh when the women pant and moan,
What they want is Offercone,
It's that banana and those two scoopsies --
That's what drools 'em boopsies:
So ring those bells for Mister Freeze --
Offer them Offer if you please!!

Minor hommage.....
yours, Peter T.

31 Jan 00 - 12:03 PM (#171062)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

Peter T, You da Man!!! Much more fun than my dose of venom!!

Nicely done!!

A

31 Jan 00 - 12:08 PM (#171065)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: WyoWoman

Geez, talk about lemonade from lemons... and remember, boys and girls, a lemon is just a very sour old fruit.

WW

31 Jan 00 - 12:11 PM (#171069)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Peter T.

I am not in your league, "Mr. Drainpipe"!
yours, Peter T.

31 Jan 00 - 12:16 PM (#171073)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST

Good one, Peter. Sounds like your fever has broken.

31 Jan 00 - 12:18 PM (#171074)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: catspaw49

Well hell, I'm confused. Y'all got some nice songs here paying homage to Joe, gut see, my problem is that I always thought Joe's head WAS on a stick......I mean like I don't know....Is that really a body, or is his head atop a stick?

Just curious.

Spaw

31 Jan 00 - 12:34 PM (#171084)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Rick Fielding

Oh Glory Be! Some folks laughed! Funny title, but Joe I'm confused. Now I think I've absorbed pretty much everything you've shared with us here at Mudcat, but the (not very) anonymous poster thinks you "hate" them! Say it ain't so, Joe!

Rick (who only hates Ralph Wilson)

31 Jan 00 - 01:11 PM (#171101)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: sophocleese

Far be it from me to disagree with anything Joe says, but I would suggest that the proper chords are Asus, Bsus, Csus, Dsus, Esus, Fsus and Gsus, ar a combination thereof resolving finally on Aminsusdimaug-G#bass.

31 Jan 00 - 01:26 PM (#171114)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

That lastchord is referred to by the pros as G's Louise.

A.

31 Jan 00 - 01:50 PM (#171136)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: McGrath of Harlow

How does it go?

She offered her honour
he honoured her offer
and all the long night
he was on her and off her.

31 Jan 00 - 02:12 PM (#171151)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: katlaughing

Surprised no one pointed out that, lacking an apostrophe, it really reads that Joe is offering a head on a stick, not necessarily his own.

31 Jan 00 - 02:27 PM (#171161)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Áine

Oh mehitabel - picky, picky, picky -- or should that really be pikey, pikey, pikey (groan, but sometimes I just can't help myself).

-- Áine

31 Jan 00 - 02:30 PM (#171165)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

Pikey, Pikey?!!

Áine, dear, you should revisit the Rising of the Moon thread -- or the Pickle song -- you're getting as far-flung as Spaw!

A

31 Jan 00 - 02:56 PM (#171180)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: catspaw49

Far flung? Man I just point out the obvious......Just like on this thread. Nothing more.

Spaw

31 Jan 00 - 02:59 PM (#171183)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Barbara

and those chords you proposed, Joe, don't you want a descending progression, not an ascending one?

31 Jan 00 - 03:16 PM (#171195)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Mbo

Whoa, is it me, or is the 'Cat going through a serious creative burst or WHAT? We've got new songs popping up everywhere! This is great!

--Mbo

31 Jan 00 - 03:57 PM (#171212)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Chet W.

I've heard the song. I think it was in the Phrygian mode with the flatted root.

Chet

31 Jan 00 - 04:12 PM (#171224)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Caitrin

kat,I'm glad someone besides me noticed the grammatical error. It sounds like a headline or something.
New York Times
Joe Offers Head on Stick to visiting Ambassadors

31 Jan 00 - 04:17 PM (#171227)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: katlaughing

Oh, Caits, I am not sure it was an error. Would be nice to know whose he is offering first, though, wouldn't it?*BG*

31 Jan 00 - 04:20 PM (#171231)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Amos

Irresistable inversion: Joe Offers Stick-On Head!! IPO Planned Soon!

31 Jan 00 - 04:57 PM (#171248)
Subject: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Joe Offer

Yeah, I guess it was Pogo/Old Folkie/Bill/Ryan that ended up with his head on the stick. Click here. He (or she) got caught with his pants down. After posting as a guest, he/she registered as a member, and then changed the membership name from Pogo to "Old Folkie." Suspicious - that's all I'll say.
-Joe Offer-

31 Jan 00 - 07:13 PM (#171338)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST

Joe offers "Head on a Stick"! Sounds like just the thing for the business commuter who just plain doesn't have time for that quickie before he or she leaves the house. "Say! That attractive lady in the Mercedes didn't drop a cigarette in her lap at all...She's got Head on a Stick! Tell those grumpy traffic-jammed mornings goodbye forever! Arrive at your job calm and refreshed!"

31 Jan 00 - 11:32 PM (#171459)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,_gargoyle

Ahhh....remember the parable in Mathew of the "site" that was cleansed of A "demon" .....only to return to its old ways and have the demone return with six of its brethren.

Some of the things happening right now...make even ME cringe at the ugliness.

W.W. (wild-wixan) perhaps we have found grounds for agreement.

31 Jan 00 - 11:35 PM (#171461)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,_gargoyle

Then again "heads on a stick" are exactly the sort of thing wild wyoming wixan women are want to worship.

01 Feb 00 - 08:59 AM (#171622)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Timbobbin

There used to be a band in Hull called the Gargoyles who had a song called head on a pole.

01 Feb 00 - 11:46 PM (#172061)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: Rick Fielding

Ahhh, lovely English custom, Cromwell, Guy Fawkes, and all that. Had a feeling that "Guest Whom He Hates" was one of our British Brethren. Hey Joe, any Brits bustin' your chops in private lately?

Rick

01 Feb 00 - 11:58 PM (#172070)
Subject: RE: Lyr/Chords Req: Joe Offers Head on a stick
From: GUEST,Jim

& wut'r we drinkin'?