31 Jan 00 - 11:34 AM (#171041) Subject: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos This is a comparable response by a non-Catter to problems with those dern Windows thingis. But notice that, in the absence of the strong and compassionate support of the MudCat, this writer is violently inclined. Thus, with a little perspective, we can be grateful for our flourishing cult which offers us a kinder, gentler way to vent our frustrations -- writing lots of strained couplets. (BTW are strained couplets allowed in public?)
> I want to hurt my computer.
Now I've learned that my PC no longer "recognizes" my floppy drive! How >could they not recognize each other? They live together in the same little >tower! |
31 Jan 00 - 11:43 AM (#171045) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: GUEST,canoer Amos, buddy, you should write a book. But reconsider jolting the tech support guys, it's not their fault if Microsoft hires 4 people when they need 400 to give good service. Thanks for the laughs! |
31 Jan 00 - 12:02 PM (#171061) Subject: ADD: Reload ^^ From: GUEST,Patrish Sung to the tune of "Rawhide!") RELOAD Loading, loading, loading, Damn this Java coding, Feeling of foreboding, Reload! The Applet says it's running, And that big gray block is stunning, But the screen remains as blank as my mind Netscape crash, Boot 'em up! Net goes down, Dial back! Logging on, Still off-line! Reload! Try it now, Still not up! Netscape crashed, What, again? Boot it up, Log it in, Reload! Tighten, tweaking', smoothen, They say the codes improvin', So how come I'm still usin' "reload"? I'm tired of all this waitin', Just give me .gif animation, This code is only good for wasting time, The applet says it's running, And gray block is quite stunning, But the screen remains as blank as my mind, (Midi solo) Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Beep, beep, Netscape crash, Boot 'em up! Net goes down, Dial back! Logging on, Still off-line! Reload! Try it now, Still not up! Netscape crashed, What, again? Boot it up, Log it in, Reload! Reload! - Author Unknown ^^
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31 Jan 00 - 12:05 PM (#171064) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos LMAO! This Silicon Revolution sure has given us an opportunity to regenrate a lot of our favorite themes in new context. This one is a gem! A. |
31 Jan 00 - 12:11 PM (#171068) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Sorcha It's no doubt because Dr. Seuss wrote the manuals!!!!!VERY VERY GOOD!!! It's even worse if you're as illierate as I am. |
31 Jan 00 - 01:23 PM (#171110) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: GUEST,Auxiris I'd just like to point out, if I may, that "pute" is the French word for prostitute. . . cheers, Auxiris |
31 Jan 00 - 01:31 PM (#171116) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos Double entendres are a specialty here, Auxiris! Puters and putains are first cousins. They both make money from something that longs to be free!! A |
31 Jan 00 - 01:52 PM (#171140) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Micca Amos, love your list, these devices are known as "confusers" where I work, 'cos if you wern't you soon will be. Patrish love the song, should go in the songbook!!! amos , love your songs too!! |
31 Jan 00 - 02:10 PM (#171150) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine Dear Auxiris and others, Oh dear, between the 'puters, putains, and Mr. Putin in Moscow, what hope for us is there in 2000! Maybe the Y2Ker's had the right idea -- gird your loins and your code and take your Fannie up to the hills! -- Áine |
31 Jan 00 - 02:20 PM (#171156) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Molly Malone Sorry, but I'm firmy convinced that Y2K was a plot by the toilet paper companies. :) Do we have a Y2K song in the songbook? |
31 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM (#171166) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine You betcha Miss Molly! It's Mudcat's Y2K For What It's Worth by Dave (the ancient mariner). Enjoy -- it's one of his best! -- Áine |
31 Jan 00 - 02:54 PM (#171178) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: kendall Thanks you guys..very clever. Had all I could do to keep from laughing!! |
31 Jan 00 - 03:05 PM (#171186) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Dave (the ancient mariner) I just want a program that makes it say AYE AYE SIR! when I hit enter... All mine ever says is "You stupid F#%ker have'nt you learned the right command yet" Thanks for the kind word about the Y2K song Aine I just hope nobody from Buffalo Springfield show up on my doorstep and punches me out fer ruining their song. Yours,Aye.Dave |
31 Jan 00 - 03:08 PM (#171188) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Mbo HoHaHo! Loved the "Rawhide" parody! Classic stuff! Especially for someone who spend lots of hours with incorrigable computers! --Mbo |
31 Jan 00 - 03:13 PM (#171192) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Molly Malone Coming from someone with 3 computers on her desk currently, I LOVE IT! I wished I had seen it sooner. Anyone have one with a more Irish aire? |
31 Jan 00 - 05:05 PM (#171254) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine I have placed 'Reload!' submitted by Patrish upon the honored songs on the Mudcat Songbook. Please see 'Part II - Additions to Mudcat Songbook' for a very special announcement. Th-th-th-th-th-that's All Folks, Áine |
01 Feb 00 - 11:06 AM (#171677) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: GUEST,Patrish Many many apologies for the format - I have tried for ages to sort it out, but failed miserably... What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Documentation?
Here's an easy game to play.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, .
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, .
You can't say this? .
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the
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01 Feb 00 - 11:11 AM (#171681) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine Oh Patrish! That was great! May I enter it into the Songbook, please?? So, does this mean that RTFM would now stand for 'Read The Funny Manual"? -- Áine |
01 Feb 00 - 11:21 AM (#171684) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos LOL anew! It's not properly written by a 'Cat, but it should be up there to be memorialized anyway, it is so funny. It has been on the e-mail circuit for a few years and I never have found out who the author was. Thanks for bringing it to the fore! A |
01 Feb 00 - 11:22 AM (#171688) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine Then 'Author Unknown' it shall be . . . Can you come up with an appropriate title, Amos? -- Áine |
01 Feb 00 - 11:40 AM (#171699) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos I always think of it as "When a Packet Hits a Pocket..", or you could call it "Dr Seuss' User Manual!" A |
01 Feb 00 - 11:43 AM (#171702) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Áine 'When A Packet Hits A Pocket' it is! For all your help, there's an extra scone for you in the kitchen . . . but, don't tell MMario! -- Áine |
01 Feb 00 - 11:50 AM (#171706) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos Ah, um, I'll foller ye right in there just now, milady Scones, aye!! A |
01 Feb 00 - 02:09 PM (#171783) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Liz the Squeak I got 318 messages on my mail at work - is that a record? And Art, the correct term for what you want to do to your computer is PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE, try it, it works! LTS |
01 Feb 00 - 02:10 PM (#171785) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Liz the Squeak Sorry Art, I meant Amos, and I only started work yesterday.... LTS |
01 Feb 00 - 02:24 PM (#171794) Subject: RE: BS: Hatin' 'Puters From: Amos Well, I don't have that problem myself -- the "I want to hurt my computer" bit was imported from outside, and they should get one of those little plastic hammers withthe sound chip in it that m akes the breaking glass sound play when you whack it. :>) Percussive maiintenance is just the thing for separating the chips from the salsa! More than once I've repaired a bad behaving box just by pressing down on the cards, loosened by an excess of the very percussion meant to persuade it! Last week a had to run off to a client whose monitor had failed right in the middle of a crucial job. She'd tried everything (she said). I asked her if she had checked the power and she said, of course she had! So I ran up -- it wasn't far -- and quickly found she had indeed checked the power plug at the supply end; but had loosened the other end of it at the monitor. Quickly fixed, to her delight! A. |