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Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)

27 Mar 00 - 11:02 AM (#201976)
Subject: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Murray MacLeod

Earlier this month I heard Scottish entertainer Alex Beaton sing a hilarious parody of Are You Lonesome Tonight at a Highland Games in South Florida. Does anyone know the lyrics to this? I have checked his website but he doesn't seem to have recorded it.

The only lines I remember are the last two:

"Are you frightened to yawn, 'cos your teeth are all gone

It's no wonder you're lonesome tonight"

Murray


27 Mar 00 - 03:52 PM (#202139)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Kara

Cats don't know much about elvis even his parodies


27 Mar 00 - 04:09 PM (#202161)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Murray MacLeod

Elvis ? Elvis? The recording I know is by the Carter Family. Who is Elvis?


27 Mar 00 - 04:11 PM (#202167)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Kara

He was a verynice young man.


27 Mar 00 - 04:12 PM (#202169)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST

Some dark-haired dude who got himself cloned all over the place, Murray.

I'm watching this thread hoping that someone will have the lyrics.

Sophocleese


28 Mar 00 - 07:52 AM (#202537)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Grab

Who needs Dolly the Sheep, when there's dozens of Elvises (Elvi?) around? You could use them for medical research, and no-one would notice. They've all changed their names anyway, so technically they could all be the same person...

Grab.


28 Mar 00 - 08:08 AM (#202546)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: kendall

never could understand that cow eyed geek being so popular.


28 Mar 00 - 08:51 AM (#202560)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: wysiwyg

There are Red Elvises, go Search and you'll see.


28 Mar 00 - 09:41 AM (#202581)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

To get back to the thread...I only know the first lines
Are you lonesome tonight?
Are your corsets too tight?
Brit comedian (?) Freddie Starr who likes to do an Elvis impression does this, I think, (he also likes doing Hitler, go figure....)
RtS


28 Mar 00 - 11:27 AM (#202637)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Murray MacLeod

Kendall, I think you must be referring to Elvos Costello


28 Mar 00 - 01:56 PM (#202717)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: High and Lonesome

Even Elvis himself, to his credit, did a parody of "Are You Lonesome Tonight" off the cuff, I believe. His lyrics went something like this:

Do you sit in your parlor and wish I were there?
Do you look at your bald head and wish you had hair?
Oh, dear are you lonesome tonight?

While it's great fun to trash Elvis, if you listen to the early stuff he did (interestingly, all before he entered the army) you'll find that he had a whole lot going on. Many of the best folk singers working today are borrowing more from Elvis than they are from, say, Pete Seeger.

Oh dear, have I committed some sacrilege?


28 Mar 00 - 02:59 PM (#202767)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT (Homer & Jethro)
From: GUEST,Phil Cooper

my singing partner, Margaret Nelson, sings sometimes a parody of "lonesome" that she thinks Homer & Jethro did.

Are you lonesome tonight? If you are, serves you right,
I'm so lucky I've lost you at last,
I can still hear you roar wash the dishes clean the floor,
And then, clean up the glass.
You took me for a boatride, I had to swim back,
Darling I never thought, I'd get out of that sack.
So, I'll miss you my pet, every chance that I get.
And that's why you're lonesome tonight.

probably not Alex Beaton's version, but a good one none the less. Phil Cooper

(line breaks added by a Joe clone)


28 Mar 00 - 03:23 PM (#202777)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Murray MacLeod

Nice one, Phil. I have sent an email to Alex Beaton asking him for his lyrics, and I will post them when (if) I receive them.

Murray


29 Mar 00 - 08:37 AM (#203156)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

Tho' I only really dug Elvis in the 50's and find the white jump suit era (especially popular with the impersontors) hilarious, I will point out that today's press repors he's beaten Bart Simpson to be Icon of the Century (which century I'm not sure). Ay Caramba.
RtS


29 Mar 00 - 03:01 PM (#203403)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Jim Krause

Phil Cooper, yes, that is Homer & Jethro. I laughed til I cried when I was a kid listening to them. And I'm old enough to remember the Elvis recording. That made the H &J parody all the funnier.


03 Apr 00 - 02:22 PM (#206105)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: High and Lonesome

Who are Homer and Jethro? Sounds like characters from the Beverly Hillbillies.


03 Apr 00 - 02:33 PM (#206109)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,dick greenhaus

HOmer and Jethro were a pair of country singers who parodied popular country (and other) songs. They later described themselves as "sort of Stone Age Smothers Brothers" After Homer died, Jethro made a second career of being an extremely fiine country mandolinist.

(You can get a recording of their hits from Camsco, and you can see some of their lyrics in DigiTrad.


03 Apr 00 - 02:46 PM (#206116)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: SeanM

The little known Val Kilmer flick "Top Secret" (think spy movies combined with '50s beach films and then fed through the "Airplane!" creative team at its height) contained a bizzare "Lonesome" parody. Don't remember all the words, but it was done as a commercial jingle for Macy's. What little I remember of it went...

Are you lonesome, tonight?
Is your kitchen a fright?
Does your sink back up onto the floor?

etc., continuing to the crescendo of

Shop at Macy's, and love me... tonight!

Very weird.

M


03 Apr 00 - 03:43 PM (#206134)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Lonesome EJ

Elvis didn't do much. Just

1) Introduced blues, rockabilly and gospel to their first mass audience.

2)Set the standard for guitar as THE pre-eminent rocknroll instrument.

3)Made an icon of his own voice, one that has been emulated by everyone from Paul McCartney to Phil Ochs.

It is easy to view him in terms of the self-parody he became in the Vegas years. See the 1968 Elvis Live Television special(the famous "comeback" show) to get an idea of the raw talent he possessed as a singer and guitarist.


04 Apr 00 - 11:23 AM (#206535)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Easy Rider

Lonesome:

You are right, on your three points, about Elvis Presley, except for one thing:

He was NOT a great guitarist. The guitar was a stage prop. He had a session man, in his band, who played the real guitar parts.

Elvis had a wonderful, sexy voice; he was a crooner. He said that his singing idol was Dean Martin. I remember his first appearances, on the Ed Sullivan show and in his very early movies. He was mesmerizing.

It's fun to parody him, but we should also remember the contribution he made to our popular music.


04 Apr 00 - 11:40 AM (#206547)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

Scotty Moore was the guitarist on those great '50s sides ( and, yes, I still sing "Blue suede shoes" and "One night" when the drink takes me! But I still prefer to remember him from then rather than from the Las Vegas years,just a personal preference, just as I prefer Big Momma Thornton's version of "Hound Dog". Just think, if he'd lived he'd be Elvis the Hip Replacement, rather than Elvis the Pelvis, by now.
RtS


04 Apr 00 - 11:52 AM (#206555)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Elvis

Thangyou verrymuch evryboddy!

The King


04 Apr 00 - 07:30 PM (#206745)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: High and Lonesome

Lonesome EJ:

From one lonesome to another, as much as I like Elvis, I don't agree that he introduced the blues to its first mass audience, for two reasons: Elvis never really sang the blues (the jump blues, maybe, but not really the blues) and secondly, there were blues artists (and especially jump blues artists) who were very popular well before Elvis reared his head (if that's what he did). Think Louis Jordan.

What Elvis did, rather, was show that it was okay for a white man to sing like that. (Or that it wasn't okay, but was excitingly rebellious.) A lesser accomplishment, but I'll grant you an accomplishment all the same.

Had Elvis been black, he wouldn't have been nearly the phenomenon that he was.


04 Apr 00 - 11:24 PM (#206848)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: John in Brisbane

As I recall 'Are Yoy Lonesome..' was written about 50 years before Presley recorded it. My memory says 1924 - that gives us about 75 years of potential parodies. I've enjoyed the ones that I've seen in this thread. Regards, John


05 Apr 00 - 01:33 AM (#206901)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: fox4zero

If anyone is interested in the original thread...One of my patients, who is in her 70's sang a parody to me of Are You Lonesome Tonight a few years ago. It was somewhat humorous and was about a real murder committed by head trauma. The parody mentioned the name of the victim. She wrote the entire lyric out for me....but I haven't seen it for a few years. I'll try to find it under the piles, or call her to get another copy.

Luv Larry Parish


05 Apr 00 - 03:00 AM (#206906)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: John in Brisbane

Larry, when you say that you're going back to look 'under the piles' I was left in no doubt as to the type of treatment you were providinbg for your patient. Under these circumstances I would commend your ardour in the folk collection process. Regards, John


05 Apr 00 - 12:21 PM (#207068)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: fox4zero

John in Brisbane....piles of paper. Which reminds me of a WWII joke about GI's receiving rifle nomenclature training from a Brit Seargent. "This 'ere part of the rifle is the stock and it used to be made of a very 'ard wood named "ickory". GI: You mean Hickory, don't you Sarge?". Seargent: Yes... Hickory. But then we couldn't get any more Hickory, so we made it out of a very 'ard wood called...Hash." GI:"You mean Ash, don't you, Sarge?" Seargent: Yes... Ash. But then we couldn't get no more....Ash, so we used another very 'ard wood called Lignem Vitae, which is used to make Piles for Peers, and I don't mean 'emorrhoids for the Aristocracy!" For the record John, I was a dermatologist. Regards Larry Parish


05 Apr 00 - 12:27 PM (#207070)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: fox4zero

John- Spelling error which almost destroys the punchline....."Piles for PIERS, not 'emorrhoids for the Aristocracy". Regards agin..Larry


06 Apr 00 - 10:35 AM (#207669)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Fortunato

It is blasphemy to mention THE KING and swollen anal tissue in the same thread.

A plague of proctologists upon you.
Cheers, Fortunato


06 Apr 00 - 11:40 AM (#207712)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: fox4zero

Fortunato--please accept my sincerest apology for the aforementioned callous blastphemy. I will do five Hail Elvis's in atonement. You are a funny guy.

Luv, Larry


11 Apr 00 - 09:13 PM (#210366)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT (Alex Beaton)
From: Murray MacLeod

This is the parody that Alex Beaton sings:

Are you lonesome tonight?
Is your brassiere too tight?
Are your corsets all falling apart?
Does your big flabby chest wear two holes in your vest?
Does your spar tire reach up to your heart?
Are your stockings all laddered?
Are your shoes wearing thin?
Are your knickers held up with a big safety pin?
Are you frightened to yawn
'cause your teeth have all gone?
It's no wonder you're lonesome tonight


19 Oct 02 - 12:05 PM (#806690)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: masato sakurai

This is not a parody, but the original, which has a verse. I didn't think that it was a woman's song. From THIS SITE.

Are You Lonesome Tonight? [mp3]
Performed by: Vaughn DeLeath (The Radio Girl), Bill Regis
Composed by: Roy Turk & Lou Handman
Edison Diamond Disc
Matrix Number: 11734-B-2-1
Release Number: 52044-L
Recording Date: 1927
Release Date: 1927

~Masato


21 Oct 02 - 11:57 AM (#807847)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Genie

Not long before his untimely death, Elvis Presley was playing Las Vegas and in the middle of this song, he noticed "...two bald-headed men..." sitting together in the audience.  On impulse, he changed
"...Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?  Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there..."
to
"...Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?  Do you gaze at your bald head and wish you had hair...".
This cracked him up so much (possibly enhanced by his prescription drugs) that he could not stop laughing, for the nearly 2 minutes left of the song!


22 Oct 02 - 04:04 AM (#808338)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Boab

An old [long gone ] folk comedian called Wullie McCulloch who specialised in comic monologues used to do a thing called "Wee Hughie's Funeral". The rigmarole climaxed in the parlour of the widow, and one of the guests was heard to sing for the benefit of the grieving spouse "Are you Lonesome Tonight?"


22 Oct 02 - 04:27 AM (#808348)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Venthony

Stop the music, stop the music!

Jethro Burns was NOT a "country" mandolinist, in the sense I think you were using the word.

Certainly, being a native southerner, (though he spent almost all of his professional life in Chicago when not on the road) he had a rural accent and disposition. But he was a jazzer all the way, and a very fine one.

Ya know, the people on this site don't listen to nearly enough vinyl.

For further information, type the name "Steve Goodman" into your browser.

And Homer was no slouch either. He only know one set of barre chords -- ALL of them.

Tony


22 Oct 02 - 01:37 PM (#808650)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Steve-o

THANK YOU Lonesome EJ for setting these folks straight! Everyone has favorites and singers/musicians they can't stand, but what we are talking about here is the single most important musical figure of the 20th Century in America, no matter what your preferences. And by the way, Easy Rider, Elvis was quite a passable guitar player on rhythm- of course, the tasty leads were all Scotty Moore. Check out the last concert he did before he fell apart- it was "in the round", he was dressed all in black and surrounded by his side-men, and he was utterly superb, including his guitar playing. Back to the thread, I love Alex Beaton, and hope someone is able to track down the parody lyrics.


22 Oct 02 - 09:56 PM (#808981)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Guest

I know a parody to "Are You Lonesome Tonight" that I have not seen in your postings yet. I will start it and if anyone is interested, I will finish.
Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight.
Did you take your Mylanta and Tums,
Does your memory sway to a bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums.
I s your hair line receding, are your eyes growing dim,
Hysterectomy for her and its prostate for him.
If your back gives you pain and your knees predict rain.
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

And by the way, Elvis was the greatest when he was young, he had so much talent.

Thanks for listening.


23 Oct 02 - 07:28 AM (#809129)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Murray MacLeod

Steve, I thought I had tracked down Alex Beaton's parody lyrics and posted them about eight messages back.

Murray


23 Oct 02 - 12:32 PM (#809368)
Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Steve-o

Sorry, Murray...guess I just skipped by it. There's not enough- I want more verses! I went to an Alex Beaton concert here in L.A. a couple of years ago and absolutely loved him- haven't seen him around here since. Luckily, I bought the tapes, though.


23 Nov 03 - 11:28 PM (#1059686)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Homer & Jethro
From: Jim Dixon

Here's the complete Homer & Jethro version. There's a long section of spoken dialogue in the middle. I transcribed it from a sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page5/

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT?
(As recorded by Homer & Jethro, 1961)

Are you lonesome tonight? If you are, serves you right.
I'm so happy you left me at last.
I can still hear you roar: "Make the beds. Mop the floor.
Do the laundry and then mow the grass."

You took me for a boat ride. I had to swim back.
Darling, I thought I'd never get out of that sack.
Should you fly back again, park your broom and come in.
Darling, that's why you're lonesome tonight.

SPOKEN:
JETHRO: Shortspeare once said, "All the world's a stage." It ain't much of a line, but if it's good enough for Elvis, it's good enough for us. Act One.
FEMALE VOICE: You took me home to meet your folks, and I can still hear your father whispering, "Son, that gal's cross-eyed, knock-kneed, strange-headed, buck-toothed..." and all you said was...
HOMER: Oh, paw, you don't have to whisper. She's deaf, too.
J: Act Two.
F: Our engagement lasted ten years 'cause I wouldn't marry you when you was drunk.
H: Yeah, an' I wouldn't marry you when I was sober.
J: Act Three.
F: Only romantic thing you ever said to me was that I creeped into your heart, an' I creeped into your brain, creeped into your mind...
H: No, all I ever said was that you was the biggest creep I'd ever seen.
J: Act Four.
F: We finally settled down in our little honeymoon cottage an' ever' Friday night, our friends an' neighbors would come over to watch the fight.
H: Yeah, we didn't even have a TV set, but we had a fight ever' Friday. One night I blacked your eyes, broke your nose, an' knocked your teeth out an' you got chicken an' called the cops.
F: You told 'em not to believe a word I said 'cause I's punch-drunk.

So I'll miss you, my pet,
Every chance that I get.
Darling, that's why you're lonesome tonight.
(But I won't be fer long.)


24 Nov 03 - 11:48 AM (#1059935)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: a gud ole bwoy

Well now, Guest guest, I recon thut yur version is a good un and so du the folks that me and my missus sings it to. That dunt seem like anyone else is interestid though does it. Alan the insurance man who lives near Luton(UK)give in me und i've bin singin it round the village halls ever since 'cos folk cun see themselves in the words kent they.
Ar well bettur goo and get summat redy for the old cows tea, no, no, the wifes havin pleasant phesant pie same as me!!
cherio.


24 Nov 03 - 07:32 PM (#1060200)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT (parody)
From: GUEST,HiHo_Silver

FOR WHAT ITS WORTH:
Here is lyrics sang to the melody of Are you lonesome tonight entitled

SENIOR'S LAMENT

Are you lonesome tonight
Does your tummy feel tight
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums
Does your memory stray
To that bright sunny day
When you had all your teeth in your gums.

Is your hairline receding
Your eyes growing dim
Hysterectomy for her
And it's prostate for him
Does your back give you pain
Does your knees predict rain
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight

Is your blood pressure up
Good cholesterol down
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine
All that oat bran and fruit
Metamucil to boot
Helps you run like a well-oiled machine

If it's football or baseball
He sure knows the score
Yes he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for
So your gall bladder's gone
But your gout lingers on
Tell me dear are your lonesome tonight.

When you're hungry he's not
When you're cold he is hot
Then you start that old thermostat war
When you turn off the light
He goes left you go right
Then you get his great symphonic snore

He was once so romantic
So witty and smart
How did he turn out to be such a cranky old fart
So don't take any bets
It's as good as it gets
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.


15 Feb 05 - 02:48 PM (#1410788)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,David Neale

Masato,

some years ago (see above), you wrote, "This is not a parody, but the original, which has a verse. I didn't think that it was a woman's song. From THIS SITE.

Are You Lonesome Tonight? [mp3]
Performed by: Vaughn DeLeath (The Radio Girl), Bill Regis
Composed by: Roy Turk & Lou Handman
Edison Diamond Disc
Matrix Number: 11734-B-2-1
Release Number: 52044-L
Recording Date: 1927
Release Date: 1927"

Sadly, the link to the mp3 is no longer valid. Do you have another link and, perhaps more importantly, do you know the recording date (not just the year)? Ned Jakobs recorded his version on 17 May 1927. Some sources list his as the original.

David (david.neale@ REMOVEtelenet.be)


15 Feb 05 - 03:07 PM (#1410805)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: John MacKenzie

OAP Elvis
Giok


22 Mar 05 - 10:35 PM (#1441215)
Subject: RE: Lyr : Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Windpower4jp@access-4-free.com

Subject: RE: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Genie
Date: 21 Oct 02 - 11:57 AM

Not long before his untimely death, Elvis Presley was playing Las Vegas and in the middle of this song, he noticed "...two bald-headed men..." sitting together in the audience. On impulse, he changed
"...Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare? Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there..."
to
"...Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare? Do you gaze at your bald head and wish you had hair...".
This cracked him up so much (possibly enhanced by his prescription drugs) that he could not stop laughing, for the nearly 2 minutes left of the song!

***************************
On this thread, does anyone know if this "Bald version" is available to buy? Oldies stations play it. I want it.
John


22 Mar 05 - 11:21 PM (#1441252)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: masato sakurai

David,

Only the year was given on the web page, which is no longer active but can be seen through Internet Archive Wayback Machine (Released Edison Diamond Disc page 2-Edison NHS). On the new page (click here), the song is not on the list.

~Masato


23 Mar 05 - 05:02 AM (#1441352)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Flash Company

Learned from Dennis Norden on 'My Music':-

Are you lonesome tonight, is your bra far to tight,
Are your corsets all falling apart,
Does the mole on your chest wear a hole in your vest
Does your spare tyre come up to your heart.
Are your stockings all tattered and wrinkled and thin,
Are you knickers held up with a big safety pin
Are your falsse teeth so worn they slip down when you yawn
Then no wonder you're lonesome tonight!

FC


26 Apr 07 - 11:29 PM (#2036803)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Peace

Joe and Clones: Question here. Why is a post like

"Subject: ivsb hdbmfran
From: GUEST,zyijepsv zfimspdek - PM
Date: 26 Apr 07 - 11:23 PM

mdunq ivstbuh eogkw djokrp jybxkenpl alzkhj mginy"

even PUT here. Is it a drone post that allows its erasure to pinpoint something? Is my question clear? The post makes NO sense. It is not hotlinked. The is no obvious benefit to the spam poster. So why IS it there?


27 Apr 07 - 04:15 AM (#2036896)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Mr Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWRtzv9hBBk


27 Apr 07 - 11:11 AM (#2037175)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: Flash Company

Recently heard the version I quoted above sung by a lady of 90+ at a birthday party at a retirement complex. The party giver was 90!
You are only old once!

FC


17 Jun 07 - 04:17 AM (#2079093)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody: Are You Lonesome Tonight
From: GUEST,Scotty

Don't know if this is the one your looking for, but is good too.

Are You Lonesome Tonight….Revised Version


Are you lonesome tonight? Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray, To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding? Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her, And its prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain? Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up? Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like A well oiled machine.
If it's football or baseball, He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at But forgets what it's for.
So your gallbladder's gone, But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you're hungry, he's not, When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic, So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such A cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?


19 Apr 10 - 11:04 AM (#2889840)
Subject: Lyr Add: ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT (Turk/Handman)
From: Jim Dixon

Although there are parodies galore, I haven't found where anybody has posted the original.

Copied from The Guitar Guy:


ARE YOU LONESOME TO-NIGHT?
Words and music by Roy Turk and Lou Handman
New York: Bourne, Inc., 1926.

VERSE: Tonight I'm downhearted, for though we have parted,
I love you and I always will;
And while I'm so lonely, I'm writing you only
To see if you care for me still.

CHORUS: Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a bright summer day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain? Shall I come back again?
Tell me, dear: are you lonesome tonight?


19 Apr 10 - 03:42 PM (#2890027)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego

For someone who was in high school when Elvis first made noise, I was more concerned with the fact that girls were suddenly interested in guys with D.A.("duck's ass") haircuts, pompadours and Brylcreem sheen instead of conventional looking farm kids like me. But, truth to be told, I did take up the guitar. I wish I could say he had nothing to do with it, but by now I'm not even sure myself!

His early stuff ("Hound Dog," "Heartbreak Hotel," "Jailhouse Rock," etc.) was the best, I believe. I think it would have been interesting to see how his career might have developed had he not "gone Vegas."


19 Apr 10 - 03:57 PM (#2890045)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: Peter the Squeezer

It's easy to knock Elvis - but when you look at the rubbish that was around before, and at the time when he had his first hits - this stuff, the early Rock & Roll, stands out like a beacon.

If Presley hadn't done what he did, then those who followed - Lennon, Dylan, Simon, Jagger, etc, would not have been able to follow, producing the quality for which we admire them.


19 Apr 10 - 11:08 PM (#2890353)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: Genie

You can find several audio/videos of Elvis singing the "bald head" ad lib version of this song at YouTube.

Here is one:
Elvis Presley: "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" - laughing version.

Genie


25 Apr 10 - 04:41 PM (#2894157)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,aitoid

The laughing version of AYLT is here:

http://www.mediafire.com/?t2jgokazjn1


02 May 10 - 06:50 PM (#2898783)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,Spike

Wellllllllllll, here are the lyrics I know, as taught tome by my adored ane missed uncle Pete Brennan (as he was known stage wise, Hornsby to those who were close) who owned the Lady la Gross in Beverly a few years ago, and was responsible for me starting in "the biz" at age 16, 34 years ago !!!
Thanks unc, God bless - Spike.

Are you lonesome tonight
Is your brassier to tight
Are you sorry they've drifted apart.
Does your little string vest
Wriggle up to your chest,
If it does, can you tear them apart.
Are your stockings all wrinkled,
your shoes wearing thin,
Are your knickers held up,
With a bloody great pin.
Have you found a new lover,
Does he give you "the other"
if he does,
I'll be lonely tonight.

Well, it WAS the 70's !!!!

Spike


04 Sep 11 - 01:18 PM (#3218087)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,fox4zero

About fifteen or twenty years ago I had an elderly female patient who
sang a parody of "Are You Lonesome..." which she said dated back to
about 1928. It concerned a murder wherein someone was killed with
a cast iron sash weight. Anyone familiar with that version? Larry


06 Sep 11 - 12:42 AM (#3218835)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: fox4zero

I finally located the 1927 murder case.....Snyder-Gray case in NY. But still haven't found the parody.
Larry


04 Mar 12 - 02:23 PM (#3317189)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST

I love this one and I have not been able to find it. I would appreceiate it if you would do the rest of the song.

Thanks,
Franny


04 Mar 12 - 02:28 PM (#3317194)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST

That's the one, thank you.

Franny


11 Feb 13 - 02:06 AM (#3478123)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,lndrini

here's the utube link ...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3lcTyR5T-w


11 Feb 13 - 01:12 PM (#3478282)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Are You Lonesome Tonight (parody)
From: GUEST,Fantum

Murray

The words below are the version I sing and the song has been adapted foe an English audience, in the USA the words used in some of the excellent posts above are probably more acceptable you have to decide which arrangement you like.
I do not sing the fourth verse I think its a bit cruel funny yes but still to cruel. That's mainly because I sing to older people and I prefer the women in the audience on my side not looking for my blood.
As a song it works for me and I hope you have similar success.
Fantum

SENIOR'S LAMENT

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight.
Are you eating your all bran and prunes,
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth in your gums.
Is your hair line receding
Are your eyes growing dim,
Hysterectomy for her and prostate for him.
Does your back gives you pain do your knees predict rain.
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

Is your blood pressure up Good cholesterol down
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine
All the oat bran and fruit X lax to boot
Helps you run like a well-oiled machine
If it's football or cricket He sure knows the score
Yes he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for
Has your gall bladder's gone does the gout lingers on
Tell me dear are your lonesome tonight.

When you're hungry he's not When you're cold he is hot
Then you start that old thermostat war
When you turn off the light
He goes left you go right
Then you get his great symphonic snore
He was once so romantic So witty and smart
How did he turn out to be such a grumpy old fart
So don't take any bets It's as good as it gets
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

Are you lonesome tonight? Is your brassiere too tight?
Are your corsets all falling apart?
Does your big flabby chest wear two holes in your vest?
Does your spare tire reach up to your heart?
Are your stockings all laddered?
Are your shoes wearing thin?
Are your knickers held up with a big safety pin?
Are you frightened to yawn 'cause your teeth have all gone?
It's no wonder you're lonesome tonight

Are you lonesome tonight? If you are, serves you right,
I'm so lucky I've lost you at last,
I can still hear you roar wash the pots clean the floor,
Do the laundry and then cut the grass.
You took me for a boat ride, I had to swim back,
Darling I never thought, I'd get out of that sack.
If you fly in again
Park your broom and come in
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.

So, I'll miss you my pet, every chance that I get.
Tell me dear are you lonesome tonight.