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03 Apr 00 - 03:56 PM (#206140) Subject: Help with parody? From: TerriM I've just started writing a new parody based on Fathom the Bowl.....so far I've got From France we do get brandy From Jamaica comes rum They go down quite easy then up they do come With stout, ale and cider, I'm out of control Pass me the tequila, I'll cradle the bowl I'll cradle the bowl ( etc.) My father he do lie in the depths of the pub With his feet t'wards the door and his head to the hub... And there I stick.... any suggestions gratefully received Terri |
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03 Apr 00 - 04:35 PM (#206147) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Bert Terri, When I have problems like that with a song. First I decide how it's going to end, that is "What is the last verse going to be about". (You don't actually have to write the verse yet.} Then I'll decide what each verse is going to be about. If the verses are still not flowing easily I'll imagine a picture, or stage setting, for each verse. Then I'll add some props to each picture. That gives me lots of different things to use for rhymes. For example for your 'Pub' scene, you have him lying on the floor, add some sawdust, barstools, footrail, bar, pool table, dartboard, cardgame, spitoon, customers and so on 'till you have a wide choice of things that you can use to complete the verse. Hope this helps. Bert. |
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03 Apr 00 - 04:36 PM (#206149) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: wysiwyg Don't forget to add a line about "worshipping at the porcelain font" or "pedestal" there! ~S~ *BG* |
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03 Apr 00 - 04:55 PM (#206153) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: SeanM Heya Praise... how 'bout...
A bottle of whiskey, A bottle of gin It's a start, maybe. M |
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03 Apr 00 - 04:59 PM (#206156) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: MMario Sean - devilish....purely devilish.... I *LIKE* it.... Hope TerriM does as well. |
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03 Apr 00 - 05:01 PM (#206158) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: wysiwyg No, I think the image would be more upwardly focused, SeanM... trying to reach UP to the goal... sorry I just can't quite get the scansion... Plead at the porcelain pedestal... (The phrase [porcelain pedestal] is popular among USA drunkards.) (And their friends!!) ~S~ |
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03 Apr 00 - 05:05 PM (#206162) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Jeri If he snores, we just poke him, and over he'll roll? |
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03 Apr 00 - 05:06 PM (#206163) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: wysiwyg Here-- it went, [My father he do lie in the depths of the pub ] [With his feet t'wards the door and his head to the hub... ] ... so next the man's friends would drag him bodily to beg intercession at the porcelain pedestal, where he would lie with one eye barely open at its base gazing up in wonder and confusing it with the Cross, and the next verse would be his rather confused prayer... oh my rhyming function just won't cooperate, but the IMAGES!!!... and he would love to be able to reach the heights he can glimpse from below, but alas is too weak a sinner to raise up... Mmario, take it!!! ...so he leaves his offering at the foot of the pedestal... ...images fading... go for it friends! ~S~ |
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03 Apr 00 - 05:14 PM (#206167) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Jeri O, maybe more appropriate: And since he can't stand, to the loo he will roll We hope he can manage to cradle the bowl
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03 Apr 00 - 05:33 PM (#206183) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: katlaughing I don't know the original, but maybe this would help?
His head it is below him, his feet stuck in the door
Oh, we dipped him once, we dipped him twice Ah, well, maybe not the last bit. |
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03 Apr 00 - 05:34 PM (#206186) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Amos His friends gather round him Both loyal and true And haul him by elbows And feet to the loo
And there they do leave him
He staggers and scrambles
I don't know the original so I can't speak for the scansion, but there are some possibilities for ye to play with. |
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03 Apr 00 - 06:26 PM (#206214) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: TerriM You are all terrific and I love you dearly, keep going, I feel a collective song coming on! Terri |
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03 Apr 00 - 06:32 PM (#206217) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Jeri Here's the original, Fathom the Bowl. |
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03 Apr 00 - 07:20 PM (#206242) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Margo Also, I have a couple of rhyming dictionaries which are sometimes helpful. One is written by a successful lyricist: "The Modern Rhyming Dictionary". That, and the mental images help me. Margo |
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03 Apr 00 - 09:00 PM (#206271) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: wysiwyg LOL! Watch, buds-- First Ah get crucified for being gooder than Ah is, now no doubt Ah'll get crucified for LOL! Jes' try keepin' me down tho! ~S~ PS, this is a MUSIC response between SONG-MAKING COLLABORATORS |
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04 Apr 00 - 02:11 AM (#206386) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Mark Cohen At last week's Singtime Frolics in Oregon I heard one by Craig Brandis (don't know if he wrote it or collected it) based on Fathom the Bowl called "It's Not In The Book", about people at song circles who only sing songs from Rise Up Singing. If I ever transcribe my tapes I'll post the words. Nothing to do with drunks, though. I still haven't worked through my ambivalence regarding funny songs about drinking. Not being an alcoholic, but being a friend to some, and a physician, I just don't know...even though I am an inveterate parodist (jet lag has me -- I first typed "invertebrate"!) and love the creative process that's going on in this thread, I still just don't know... Aloha, Mark |
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04 Apr 00 - 07:30 AM (#206426) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Liz the Squeak TerriM, you beat me to it! But don't despair, it's been nearly 2 years now, and the Rubber Boot song hasn't progressed further than:
One tall one, one cute one, and one with a rubber suit on, It's best to try and keep the parody as similar as possible to the original - I'll have a think about it. However, for the collective to work on, to the tune of Feelin' Groovy - there is one in existance called 'Feelin' Icky'
Slow down, you move too fast, Any advances?? LTS
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04 Apr 00 - 08:08 AM (#206437) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Micca Coming home from the pub we did stagger and weave And the times we fell over,well, you would not believe Then someone suggested,to regain control We popped in the "Star of India" for a quick Curry Roll a quick Curry Roll, a quick Curry Roll We popped in the "Star of India" for a quick Curry Roll The Curry is lying in my in-tes-tines The rumbling and farting is worse than baked beans Its made my poor bottom as hot as the coal Please go to the freezer and fetch a bog roll and fetch a bog roll, and fetch a bog roll Please go to the freezer and fetch a bog roll for our Trans-ponders, bog roll is toilet paper and it is something of a tradition to go for a curry after drinking in the pub, and keeping the toilet roll in the fridge to ease the burning sensation afterwards is a well known joke. |
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04 Apr 00 - 08:24 AM (#206446) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Liz the Squeak And believe me, having shared a tent with this man after a chilli, it is NO JOKE!! LTS |
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04 Apr 00 - 08:38 AM (#206451) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler More, Liz,don't leave us in suspense, the anticipation, like the excitement, is intense (in tents, geddit-groan)! Unless it is so horrible to recall it will give you a relapse! RtS (who's left his other half at home in bed with a bad throat today, glad you're on the mend,Liz) |
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04 Apr 00 - 12:37 PM (#206567) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Micca Up close to the bar I was sat on my bum When a loud Hooray Henry from Chelsea did come And the peace and tranquillity wrecked with his roar Bring me the punch ladle I'll flatten the bore. I'll flatten the bore, I'll flatten the bore. Bring me the punch ladle I'll flatten the bore. |
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04 Apr 00 - 01:18 PM (#206584) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Barbara Wonderful work, all. Mark, glad to hear you made it safely home from Singtime. I understand that sleep deprivation makes jet lag worse, but then maybe to doctors sleep deprivation is the way you feel all the time? Anyway, if you want to transcribe Craig's song to learn it, that's a good way, but if you want easier pickings it is here in DT. I share your ambivalence about alcoholic songs, like the recent setting of RL Service's poem "Whoop It Up". Blessings, Barbara |
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04 Apr 00 - 02:21 PM (#206627) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: TerriM Mark, I understaand your ambivalence, I was married to an alcoholic for far too long but I'm proud that I'm able to laugh about it, he didn't leave me much else. |
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04 Apr 00 - 03:19 PM (#206644) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Áine What does the Keeper of the Book have to do to get you people to let her know that this kind of thing is going on??? I do hope someone is going to gather up all these wonderful verses and submit them to the Songbook -- talk amongst yourselves and let me know, OK? You're all doing a wonderful job (especially you, Micca -- remember the limericks when you had your little 'tummy' problem? *BG*). Keep up the good work everyone!! -- Áine |
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04 Apr 00 - 04:35 PM (#206669) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: M. Ted (inactive) Terri, Everyone else is showing off on your dime (and not always very impressively) but I am going to resist the temptation to write a verse, and instead give you some serious advice about writing comedy-- First--remember that they key element to comedy is surprise(or shock)--and the most common way to do that is with contrast Note the contrasts in Amos' contribution:
His friends gather round him The initial image of friends loyal and true is shattered by the hauling to to loo-- and so it goes--you take them in one direction, and suddenly go somewhere else-- The surprise of your premise will get you a laugh--but then you've got to come up with another surprise that is just as good or your song stops being funny--And there is a "three on a match" idea about the subject--Introduce a subject, like" log roll", make a follow up joke, then move on-- Timing is another element--you have to create enough "air" around a punch line so that people can understand it and digest it, but at the same time, you have to keep em coming-- The "Bob Hope" formula is to have a joke every ten seconds, which, in this song, means at the end of every couplet-- They don't all have to be equally funny, but there should be a couple of real zingers during the song, and one that has the same impact as the initial gag at the end-- As you can see, most important thing is the pacing--a funny premise gives you one laugh, then you've got to keep the audience's attention for about three more minutes-- Don't worry to much though--funny songs are more entertaining than jokes, because even when it isn't funny, it's still a song!!
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04 Apr 00 - 06:04 PM (#206711) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Bert Hey M. Ted. That's good advice, I can use some of those tricks. Thanks, Bert. |
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04 Apr 00 - 06:35 PM (#206723) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: M. Ted (inactive) I am only here to help.... |
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06 Apr 00 - 06:58 PM (#207943) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Micca As day light came creeping I went for a pee and the guy in the mirror was not much like me his clothing was dishevelled and smelled like twas dead Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed had not been to bed, had not been to bed Guess who's been on the sofa and had not been to bed My senses are ebbing like the outgoing tide And men with small hammers are working inside I'm queasy and hungover and I'm sick to the core I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more they're open once more, they're open once more I'll just sip this Alka seltzer till they're open once more I finally woke on Sunday to the sound of the drum My wife she was shouting that to church I must come " Drink is thy enemy" the parson did roar so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more take prisoner some more, take prisoner some more so I'm off to kill my enemy and take prisoner some more |
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06 Apr 00 - 07:45 PM (#207974) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: Áine Well done, Micca! I knew you had it in ya. *BG* -- Áine |
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07 Apr 00 - 02:45 PM (#208458) Subject: RE: BS: Help with parody? From: TerriM Micca, do you EVER do any work??( Good verses though :) |