04 Apr 00 - 05:32 PM (#206694) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine As promised, here's a Challenge! suggestion from both Eluned and Bradypus. In Challenge 18, Eluned said "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang". What song can you Challenge!r write with that quote as the premise? Thank you to both Eluned and Bradypus. Go for it, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine
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04 Apr 00 - 06:28 PM (#206720) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Bradypus Well, as it was my idea, I suppose I can go first. Obviously I've had some time to think about this one, it's not just off the cuff. Forest Sounds of Silence Hello forest, my old friend I've come to hear your voice again Come to listen to the birds that sing Sounds to fill my heart and make it ring But the trees around stood sentry, all was quiet In eerie light There's just the sound of silence. In restless dreams I walked alone To the ancient standing stone Where was carved in runes a tale to tell Of how the forest into silence fell: Once a single bird could sing so sweet and long And its proud song Begat the sound of silence And with my dreamlit eye I saw A thousand songbirds, maybe more Birds were listening without a song Harmony, melody, and tune were gone None could match the bird that sang so clear and high None even tried And now the sound of silence "Fools!" said I, "For now I know How the silence came to grow When that single songbird met his death No other songbirds then would draw a breath For with envy, shyness, fear, and lack of pride The music died There's nothing but the sound of silence" Then a bullfrog croaked along To the echo of my song A jackdaw cawed, a crow gave voice Common sounds that made my heart rejoice And the song said "The music that we make is not full art But it's a start It will grow, and beat the sound of silence."
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04 Apr 00 - 06:39 PM (#206725) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine BRAVO BRADYPUS! That actually made the hairs on the back of my neck dance! Oh please, tell me that there's a chance that I can hear your song! Could you put it on a tape and mail it to me? Could you send it to Max for the Mudcat Radio? Can I come to your house for a command performance?? Seriously, that's one I want to hear -- as I'm sure the other Challenge!rs will too. Well done, my friend. -- Áine |
04 Apr 00 - 06:47 PM (#206727) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Bradypus Sorry, Aine, I don't do singing. (well, only when there are enough other people singing too, and my voice gets hidden). One of my friends told me that, even singing notes at random, I would get more right than I actually do. The tune is fairly obvious - The Sound of Silence, by Paul Simon. Perhaps you can persuade someone with a voice to sing it ?? Bradypus |
04 Apr 00 - 10:58 PM (#206831) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Kelida To the meter and rhyme of the poem "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes (1906, 1913), that was sung as a song on a Loreena McKennitt (sp?) album that I can't recall the name of right now. ===================================================================== The Nightingale by Kelida I. The wood had a silence in the evening through which one birdsong rang; The moon was rising in the distance, while only one bird sang; The rest of the forest was quiet, respectful of the sound, And the nightingale was singing-- Singing--singing-- The nightingale was singing for all who gather'd 'round. II. The song was clear as a mountain spring, as strong as an ancient tree; As wild as the untamed forest, the bird seemed forever free; With a voice the was part of the dusk, the nightingale sang for the sky-- She sang for her love of the evening, Her voice was part of the evening, She sang in the glowing evening, with a lovely but fleeting cry. III Over and over she warbled and sang from her lofty perch; The tune of the song took a mournful turn, a sign of deep-down hurts. She whistled a tune for her pain then, and who should have heard her cry, But the early evening hunter, The music-killing hunter, Hunting for doves in the dusk, the man for whom she'd die. IV And out of the deep wood shadows, a shot rang out in the night, The nightingale's song ended, her life went out like a light. One last long note came from the lungs, a mournful sound indeed, For the nightingale's life was ended, Her song was finally ended-- Her song was finally ended, for the best of birds was dead. ============================================================================= I'm not sure if I like this myself, but I guess I'll see what everyone else thinks. :^| Peace-- Keli |
04 Apr 00 - 11:02 PM (#206834) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Mbo Good Lord, Kelida, that's absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Not like it? I LOVE it! Wait time my sister sees this! Major award, Aine! --Mbo |
04 Apr 00 - 11:09 PM (#206838) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Kelida Thanx, Mbo. That means a lot to me. I don't think I've ever had anything I've written be called "beautiful" before. And ESPECIALLY not in caps. Thanks again. I'm really glad you like it. Peace-- Keli **Kelida feels a little better about this song now** |
04 Apr 00 - 11:20 PM (#206845) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Spider Tom Who could be the judge Of just what, sounds the best. Each listening, so differently Who'd rise to take the test? We mortat things have got a voice, To use, or to abuse, Who'd shut their mouth, Or hold their tongue Is fear, their best excuse? The birds, will sing upon some branch, To green leaves as they hang, The Cockatoo, will screach a scream, The Bell-bird has just rang, The Raven spoke its warning,as The Sparrow just, tweet-tweeted, They, each of them< would sing their song, Not, one of them competed. All equal in existance, In song, The woodland rang, The forrest,would be silant, If, just, the "best bird",sang> There's always a spider in the tree. |
04 Apr 00 - 11:24 PM (#206847) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Mbo As you should! Always be proud of your work! You should know that now you are a wordsmith as well as an artist. It may take hours or days of hard work and toil to get it to work right--but when it is finished, have pride in yourself AND your creation. Then as time goes by, the memory of the labor and sweat are disappear, and you can still look at what you have created and be filled with that pride again at the thing which sprung from your own mind and thought and was brought into creation by your own hands, and your hands alone. Like the man said: "You are the mighty creator!" Keep that pride and enthusiasm in what you do, for it is that which urges us on the create afresh. Sorry...I'm rambling... --Mbo |
05 Apr 00 - 08:16 AM (#206938) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Oops! I've written something half serious – must have had a funny turn – normal service will resume as soon as possible... Hyp Lifesteps
To the tune of Moondance – Van Morrison V
Well it's a day and a night to go wandering B
You-see-the swifts and the swallows up there tumble and dive C
Go out and taste the life you waste today my son V
You see toadstools, the newts and the frogs out there B
You-see-it's all part of the wheel that-turns-to keep you in touch C
Go out and burn as the world turns with life my friend (Kicking Jazz solo to polite ripples of applause…) B
You-see-if you will just listen you'll-hear-the turn of the wheel C
Run and out pray for rain today and see what life brings (Rallantando)
Go – out – and - burn – as – the - world - turns – for – you – my – friends (Twiddly jazz play-out as the crowd goes wild) |
05 Apr 00 - 09:22 AM (#206960) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine My goodness gracious!! There y'all go again -- writing three extremely wonderful songs while my back is turneds!! (Does this mean that I should turn it more often? Mmmmm...) Kelida -- I agree with every mushy thing that Mbo said (just kidding there Mbo *BG*) -- Even though I don't know the tune, your words are very beautiful -- You should be proud of it! Spider Tom -- Am I correct in thinking that this is your very first Challenge! song? Well done, sir -- An excellent and evocative first time out. I do hope that you'll be returning to us and answering more Challenge!s. Always glad to have another wordsmith on board! And my dear Hyp -- Who pushed your serious button? Well, thank whoever did it, because your song is just wonderful. I've always liked the tune that you set it to (even if I can't remember the chorus bit right now - haven't even had one full cup of coffee yet), and your poetry scans extremely well. Well done, my friend. Geez, looks like I'll just have to find time to write one myself for this one -- But, don't expect anything serious. I've just finished writing a song about the recent tornado here and I need some comedic relief! Great work, everyone, and keep it up! -- Áine |
05 Apr 00 - 10:10 AM (#206985) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Áine - gawsh! I always try not to take myself toooooo seriously just in case anybody else does... **BG** Look forward to your words of wisdom... or is that lyrics of levity? Kind Regards Hyp :-) |
05 Apr 00 - 10:12 AM (#206987) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario I'm still back on challenge 18, and here you guys have submitted a bunch of songs I wanna learn. drat....so much music and so little time. I know the tunes to the first two. Spider, you have a tune in mind? Hyp - I'll have to look yours up..... |
05 Apr 00 - 10:56 AM (#207011) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: SDShad Hyperabid-- Wow! "Moondance" is already a favorite of mine, and your words to that tune....marvelous! You do serious just fine. Chris |
05 Apr 00 - 11:36 AM (#207029) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Spider Tom -- As well as a tune, do you have a title in mind? It would be a shame to leave such a wonderful song unnamed. -- Áine |
05 Apr 00 - 11:42 AM (#207034) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Cheers Chris - I'm genuinely touched and flattered Are you gonna dip your toe in the SONG CHALLENGE water? Hyp |
05 Apr 00 - 06:33 PM (#207334) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Bradypus Keli - I've always loved The Highwayman, but I've never heard it sung. Your version really works - it's good. Hyper - Blame me for pressing your serious button - I suggested this Challenge because I thought a little bit of serious might be welcome for a change (just for a change, mind). Looks like I wasn't wrong. Spider - welcome to the club. I like your song. Bradypus |
05 Apr 00 - 07:59 PM (#207399) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Kelida Thank you so much everyone for your compliments. And to think I didn't like it at first my self! Oh, stop, you're inflating my ego! ;^) --Keli |
06 Apr 00 - 06:42 AM (#207575) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Spider Tom Good stuff we weave upon the web. I like the reading as much as the writing. A person could live for lines such as this, Or be sorry I find It inviting Thanks 'Aine. for the challenge and the words of encouragement. The title for my song is a little long, "Should a bird not sing,the wing would whisper on the wind".
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06 Apr 00 - 09:05 AM (#207613) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: SDShad Hyp-- Gotta find the right challenge. I'm such a procrastinator as a songwriter, but I think the Song Challenges will be a good motivator to try stuff. The muse hasn't struck me on the current topic...but who knows! C. |
06 Apr 00 - 09:19 AM (#207620) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Sympathies Chris. If one could only bottle "the muse"... I sufferred from a period of writers block so profound I had a creative famine across the board including the short plays and a little bit of journalism I used to do at the time. It lasted one and a half years... ! Hope the muse grabs you on something else. I always took a relative ability to be prolific for granted until I had what I now term my "nightmare"... Look forward to seeing something of yours soon Hyp (David) ;-) |
06 Apr 00 - 09:53 AM (#207643) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Rob-IL Stand alone in the dark of night Looking for someone who can't see light Waiting for a love to find Passing of the person who drives your mind Stand and behold as the church bells ring Even the woods are silent when the best birds sing I sought darkness that night I left Sorrow and sadness into my heart crept Longing for your love to see Was I alone in misery From a distance I heard the church bells ring The woods are quiet when the best birds sing The bright orange light crept over the hills As the morning came with arctic chills The summer's eve had come again It was time to return to my buried friend From a distance I heard the church bells ring The woods are quiet when the best birds sing |
06 Apr 00 - 10:05 AM (#207648) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Ouch! That's both a touching and brave lyric! Hyp |
06 Apr 00 - 10:05 AM (#207650) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine That's beautiful, GDTR! Sad and wistful, just the way I like 'em. Did you write that with a tune in mind? And what do you call it? Your lyrics are so lovely, I sure hope it's a tune I know. Thank you so much for your contribution to the Challenge! And Chris -- motivating you Mudcatters to write songs was the reason I started the Challenge! threads in the first place. Even if the subject is silly (which it often is around here), just 'putting your seat in the seat' and working on one song might lead to another song, and another . . . Please jump in the pond with the rest of us when you see something that interests you, OK? -- Áine |
06 Apr 00 - 10:31 AM (#207666) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario And if inspiration strikes and it ISN'T on the subject of a challenge, then put it into the "additions to the MudCat songbook" thread..... |
06 Apr 00 - 11:31 AM (#207701) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Something more in my usual vein. If the imagery is a little too raucous it isn't meant to be it just came out that way. Sing every song To the tune of Whiskey in the Jar – Lynnard Skynard version V
As I was heading home now C
I pulled her in to the back of my car V
She was no vestral virgin C
But she is mine in the race from the bar V
I wake up in the morning C
You got to try every song you can sing Hyp |
06 Apr 00 - 11:35 AM (#207708) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Ain't you the little devil, Hyp! LMAO -- A very interesting tangent from the Challenge! subject (hehehe)! -- Áine |
06 Apr 00 - 11:51 AM (#207722) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Well in England "bird" is I'm afraid a (little bit derogatory) slang term for the female of the species - perhaps even with the connotation of capable of being sexually active. Once I started thinking in that vein Áine I just couldn't stop myself. With all these drinking songs you lot are going to think me a dipsomaniac. (I was a serious boozer once - far more moderate these days). Glad to hear it made you titter...! Hyp (David)
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06 Apr 00 - 08:35 PM (#207999) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Warning! This is NOT a serious song *BG*. I admit that it is a stretch -- but, I was in the park with kiddies today and I got well, inspired. Please put your sense of humour on before reading the following:
The Birdies Will Not Sing Today In The Forest |
06 Apr 00 - 08:39 PM (#208001) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario hee-hee! I'll have to refresh my memory of that tune....a good "morality tale" song.... |
06 Apr 00 - 09:21 PM (#208038) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Amos That is brilliant, Áine. You just get better and better and better! And funny! A real twister on the original meaning. I love it! A |
07 Apr 00 - 10:02 AM (#208303) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine I'm glad you guys liked it! Can't say the same for the grandmother who sat down beside on the park bench as I was singing the song over to myself -- She gave me a sideways glance, got up and hurried away. I still can't figure out whether it was the lyrics or my singing that upset her *BG*! However, 'writing in the park' turned out to be a big hit with the kids -- I kept sending them back to play some more until I finished the song. -- Áine |
07 Apr 00 - 11:47 AM (#208373) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Eluned Wow!! (I seem to use that word a lot on this site). The first three were just lovely, and if I could figure the breaks, that bit by Goin'Down would just write itself into lovely music in my head! Hyper', your first one could become a popular anthem for the environmentalists it's so circle-of-life (and I really like it); may I sing it for some of my friends? Your second one takes me back to a friend I knew in Florida; "all women are godesses", he used to say, and then prove it. He chased them all, old or young, thin or fat, and truly worshipped the woman in them. Never seen the like before or since. The subject of this challenge is a bit close to the heart, but if I chew on it mentally for a while as I go through my days, something will present itself, I hope. I'm very flattered that my quote is being qouted as a song challenge; I wish I could remember the source! |
07 Apr 00 - 11:48 AM (#208374) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Amos Y'know, she was expecting you to talk to yourself, that's par for the course in public parks, but when ya started singing she got nervous! Or maybe she was afraid you were singing to her! |
08 Apr 00 - 12:51 AM (#208747) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Eluned Well, that song has always struck me as maniacally cheerful. I'd expect some Tom Lehrer lyrics to a tune like that, probably something about Cannibalism. |
08 Apr 00 - 02:10 PM (#208913) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine *******************THE WINNERS!***************** I have to say, it was pretty easy handing out the Golden Cow Chips this time! Everyone did such a marvelous job. Congrats, Cudos and many, many Thanks to each of the Challenge!rs. There's a great new Challenge! coming today, so sharpen your pencils and get ready... -- Áine
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster: |
10 Apr 00 - 03:52 AM (#209489) Subject: The height of embarrasment From: Hyperabid Oops it was Thin Lizzy that did a version of whiskey in the Jar. Can we please correct the copy on the Song Challenege site please Aine so I don't look like too much of a muggle. Hyp. |
10 Apr 00 - 03:57 AM (#209490) Subject: singing Songs From: Hyperabid And some more... Eluned... please feel free to sing any of my songs to friends. If you like 'em... that's great! You never know you could be helping me into the bargain, I've always wanted to take writing in all forms mroe seriously. Cheers n all that... Hyp (David) ;-) |
10 Apr 00 - 08:18 AM (#209527) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Dear Hyp, Correction noted and made, dear muggle ;-) -- Áine |
10 Apr 00 - 10:09 AM (#209576) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Am I to take it Aine that you have read J.K Rowling's Harry Potter books? Hyp |
10 Apr 00 - 10:17 AM (#209579) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Oh Yes! I have my Quidditch team here -- three Chasers, and I'm the Keeper. *BG* -- Áine |
10 Apr 00 - 10:27 AM (#209580) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Hyperabid Bet I get the golden snitch first... Now have you yet come up with a method of combining the rules of Quidditch and Song Challenge... Instead of having bludgers you could have the opposing team inserting dodgy lines just when the writer was coming to a heart-string thrumming song climax... It could be done.... Honest.... Hyp ;-) |
10 Apr 00 - 01:45 PM (#209696) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: GUEST,belter sorry about getting this in late. I had to work a couple of nights, and put the time to good use writing this.
Three Voices
As I did stroll the wooded lane
No other song shall err be heard
The nightingale did sweetly trill
The whippoorwill called long and low
The owl raised its haunting call
Then each one claimed the victory
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10 Apr 00 - 01:53 PM (#209703) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario y'know, you guys are driving me crazy here, with songs I want to learn. I need more hours in the day. I need more days in the week. Anyone have a spare TARDIS they can loan me? |
10 Apr 00 - 02:07 PM (#209713) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Dear belter, That song was well worth the wait! It has been placed on the SONG CHALLENGE! WINNERS PAGE and has been awarded The Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster. Well done, belter! And MMario -- I don't have a spare Tardis, but I could lend you my owl for a day or two... -- Áine |
15 Apr 00 - 03:14 PM (#212311) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: KT Okay...Here is my first attempt at the song challenge.......I wrote this one over a week ago and am just now finding the time to post it. Hope this is the right place to post late ones....(I also hope I can figure out how to get the lines and paragraphs right...)
Woodland Chorus
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16 Apr 00 - 10:43 AM (#212631) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Dear KT, That's a wonderful first song for the Challenge!! Do you have a tune for it? Sorry I was so late in responding to your entry; but, my oldest son is home from university this weekend and I've been busy getting my hugs and kisses in while I have a chance...*BG* Since your beautiful song brought a tear to the eye, I'm awarding it the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon Award (very prestigous, I assure you!). I'll post your song in a little while on the Winners page. Thanks so much for your song, and I do hope we'll be seeing lots more of them in the future! -- Áine |
16 Apr 00 - 12:55 PM (#212674) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario Kt - id hope you have a tune for that and some way to distribute it...that is lovely... |
17 Apr 00 - 12:00 PM (#213131) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: KT Dear MMario and Aine, thanks for your kind words. Yes, there is a tune. As far as distributing it in this forum, I haven't a clue.( I was happy to get the lines and paragraphs right!) Aine...the Golden Cow CHip with Ribbon Harp....I'm honored! Hope you've had a wonderful time with your son! |
17 Apr 00 - 12:12 PM (#213137) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Dear KT, Can you tape your song on a regular audio tape? If you can, please, please, do so and send it to Max for the Mudcat Radio Show at this address:
Max D. Spiegel Be sure and mark the tape with the name of your song and your "Mudcat" name, so Max will know whose song it is! I'm really looking forward to hearing you -- and I hope that it'll be very soon!! -- Áine (P.S. I had a wonderful time with No. 1 Son, thanks! We caught up on all his news, gave him money, fed him a lot of 'home-cooking' -- a weekend guaranteed to make any college student happy!!) |
18 Apr 00 - 01:59 AM (#213509) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: KT Hi, Aine. Yes I could put it on an audio tape, but it'll have to wait. I've just returned from a recent festival and I'm now suffering from a bad case of overdidititis. My voice has taken temporary leave ( as did the sense to stop jamming and get some rest) Oh well. It was worth it!! |
22 Apr 00 - 03:36 PM (#216147) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Amergin Kelida, the Highwayman is one of the best poems ever written. You did great justice to it. I love your piece. Here's my song (the feeble attempt it is): The Woods I Loved So Well (Tune: Town I Loved So Well)
In my memory I will always see
In the early morn with a sound so forlorn
There was music there in the wooded air
When I came back, how my eyes went black
Now the birds are gone, but I still sing on Amergin
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22 Apr 00 - 06:48 PM (#216226) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Áine Dear Amergin, A very appropriate and lovely entry for this Challenge! and well timed for Earth Day, too. Your song has been posted on the SONG CHALLENGE! WINNERS PAGE as a Winner of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon. Well done! -- Áine |
27 Aug 01 - 01:33 PM (#536143) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Jack the Sailor I turned the topic on to one of the saddest things in today's society. I hope I've made a point. "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang". Only the best
My little bird is lying
If you could only hear her song
My little girl is starving
Has to be so skinny
If you could only hear her song
Make her wear some make up
Put her through the grinder
If you could only hear her song
One winner will win
Beauty show drama
If you could only see the lie |
27 Aug 01 - 02:16 PM (#536183) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario you made your point well enough that I had to take a break halfway through reading it. |
27 Aug 01 - 03:45 PM (#536250) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Jack the Sailor I turned the topic on to one of the saddest things in today's society. I hope I've made a point. On reading I had some more ideas. Here is a rewrite. "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang". Only the best (second version) My little bird is lying Lying in her nest My little bird is dying Trying to be the best My little bird is Humming As she plays the game Work hard on becoming A truly famous name Why won't my little bird sing Really, its such a simple thing What pressures and torments do we bring My little girl is starving I worry bout her health When the food is carving she runs off by herself Has to be so skinny She cannot have meat Has to wear that mini So she just will not eat If you could only hear her true song Then you would know that it is so wrong Were creating a world where children don't belong Make her wear some make up To catch Leanne Rhymes Perhaps its time to wake up because she's only nine Put her through the grinder Treat her like some meat Take a key and wind her Prime her for defeat If you could only listen to her heart Then you would know the hardest part Where do you begin, and where do you start One winner will win the rest will all lose How can we begin to choose Beauty show drama Fame and wealth Beckoned Imagine the trauma When they finish a mere second If you could only see the lie Then you would know why young girls die In a sad sad world its a pain to see them cry |
27 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM (#536276) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Jack the Sailor I turned the topic on to one of the saddest things in today's society. I hope I've made a point. On reading I ahd some more ideas. Here is a rewrite with line breaks. "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang". Only the best
My little bird is lying
My little bird is Humming
Why won't my little bird sing?
My little girl is starving
Has to be so skinny
If you could only hear her true song
Make her wear some make up
Put her through the grinder
If you could only listen to her heart
One winner will win
Beauty show drama
If you could only see the lie |
29 Aug 01 - 09:35 AM (#537408) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Aidan Crossey A Challenge! that finds me replying in serious vein! Áine, you've found my Achilles heel. (Well - Achill heel actually as this song is based - loosely - on a real-life experience as a callow youth in that part of the world.) It's to the tune "The Dawning Of The Day" as used for Raglan Road.
When first her eyes flashed fire at mine |
29 Aug 01 - 10:42 AM (#537454) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: GUEST,KT derrymacash, that is beautiful!!!! Especially, "And you shall shine and you shall sing And I shall teach the song." Exquisite!
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29 Aug 01 - 02:27 PM (#537605) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Jack the Sailor Nice one! you've captured some of the feeling of raglan road, but made it your own. "As she walked across the bay" It's a nice picture, a little sureal, what is the thought behind the line Derry? |
30 Aug 01 - 03:41 AM (#537975) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Aidan Crossey KT and Jack ... thanks for the kind words. Jack ... the word "bay" is commonly used in my neck of the woods to refer not only to the body of water but its shore, hence the line refers to the lady in question walking across the sand (and the preceding line is about the waves washing away the resulting footprints). I never thought that it could be construed otherwise ... goes to show! |
30 Aug 01 - 08:37 AM (#538032) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: MMario ssilly me - I thought you were implying that she walked on water! |
30 Aug 01 - 08:42 AM (#538037) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 20 From: Aidan Crossey MMario ... I implied a degree of worship ... but not that much! |