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18 May 00 - 05:19 AM (#229788) Subject: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Sorry, but I couldn't resist sharing this with you all:
Canadian health authorities are stationing chickens along 1,550 miles of the border with the United States to detect the deadly West Nile virus, New Scientist reported. The virus mainly infects birds and is transmitted to human beings by mosquitoes. (Reuters)
Are they going to wear Mountie uniforms? Do they have a motto ("We always get our virus")? Is this the ultimate deterrent? Is it really a ploy to catch Waylon Heron? |
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18 May 00 - 06:11 AM (#229795) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Ella who is Sooze Headlines State Border Chicken Chain Gangs A little bit of verse (© Ella 2000) Crack commando unit chickens have flown the coop and are stationed from east to west How did the Candaian authorities know to stoop To recruit the plucky chickens for tests Those plucky chickens all primed for the job Were marched out of camp and set free to roam Unwilful deportees and downtrod heroes Who were far away from home (and so on - you could go down the line of the many Irish deportee songs or the downtrodden hero songs?) What do you reckon. I think I shouldn't give up my day job. Made me laugh though Ella |
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18 May 00 - 11:07 AM (#229882) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Hollowfox Oh, great. Now the mosquitoes can stop at the convenient border station, pick up their load of virus and head toward the human population centers. I wonder...at Niagara Falls, will the chicken be stationed on the middle of the Peace Bridge, or on the Canadian end? |
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18 May 00 - 11:14 AM (#229889) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: catspaw49 Why did I know this was a "Skiff Thread" before I opened it? Just great........Sgt. Clucker of the Mounties Spaw |
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18 May 00 - 11:18 AM (#229892) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Ella who is Sooze what if a local person sees Mrs Chicken out for her sunday stroll. There she is, peck peck peck peck. (at the mosquitoes) unsuspecting local person thinks hhhmmmmmmm DINNER! Grabs chicken (I know it's not easy) and Mrs Chicken becomes, kentucky fried, grilled, baked - whatever. Does that mean because, Mrs Chicken ate the nasty virus mosquito scumbags (I don't like the little fellas) that unsuspecting local person gets the virus? If I lived over there I would be very worried. Attention Chicken look lively. Atten hup! Do they send the chickens out in formation, with lead chicken at the front of the V formation? So many questions, so littel time are you sure it's not April fools? Ella
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18 May 00 - 11:44 AM (#229913) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario looking for articles on this virus, I discovered that parts of the land down under already have "sentinal chickens" which guard against (actually serve as indicators of) the spread of Murray Valley Encephalitis... So it looks like Canada is just being a copy cat with poultry. |
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18 May 00 - 12:02 PM (#229927) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: catspaw49 Remember too that birds were used for years in the mines as a sign of toxic gases and CO. What the hell do we have against birds anyway? (before anyone explains all the diferences between bird lives and human lives....that was a joke). Spaw |
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18 May 00 - 12:10 PM (#229939) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Peter T. Gosh, gee whillickers, first I heard of this. Thank you intrepid Mudcatters for being on the pulse of the longest undefended smugglers paradise in the world. Makes no sense to me. Why aren't we sending these chickens to Egypt? What is West Nile virus doing in the United States? We are already infested with Jerry Springer and Britney Spears -- can't you people keep your disgusting germs to yourselves? I shall have to check up on this. Though chickens in little red Mountie suits does have a certain appeal. (To the tune of "Rose Marie": BLuuuuuuccckkbluccckkkbluccckkcluccckclucvk I'm always thinkingcluckcluckblauuuckkkk!!! and so on).... yours, Peter T. |
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18 May 00 - 12:13 PM (#229944) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: catspaw49 Yeah Peter....I knew this would get you. You're really into dressing up birds aren't you? Spaw |
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18 May 00 - 12:28 PM (#229958) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Peter T. I'm thinking chorus of chickens in little red suits, Heron in black, Anne Murray in Snowbird costume complete with feathers, Sarah McLachlan in angel garb, and Natalie McMaster naked. Now how did that last one get in there?.... yours, Peter T. |
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18 May 00 - 12:30 PM (#229960) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: catspaw49 I dunno' Peter.....But it work sure keep me from looking at the stupid chickens......... Spaw |
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18 May 00 - 12:31 PM (#229962) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario But 'Spaw, so many birds go better with dressing...turkeys with herb dressing, duck with orange dressing, goose with oyster dressing, squab with onion dressing, larks with olive dressing... |
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18 May 00 - 12:36 PM (#229972) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Bert Nah MMario. Duck goes with Apple Cider dressing and Goose needs Sage and Onion. |
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18 May 00 - 01:28 PM (#230003) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: McGrath of Harlow Only 1,550 miles of border is to be garrisoned by chickens against infiltrating Yankee viruses? Not good enough. What about the ones sneaking in from Alaska? Chickens in snowshoes with fur coats over their feathers standing shoulder to shoulder. Free range chickens heading North from Kentucky to safety in Canada... Now if Benjamin Franklin had succeeded in his proposal to make the Turkey the national emblem of the States there could have been some very interesting confrontations. |
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18 May 00 - 01:35 PM (#230004) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario There are some song possibilities here.....*shudder* I was afraid of that |
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18 May 00 - 01:52 PM (#230015) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Mrrzy I have a stuffing poem on tap - hey, MMario, do you recognize this fragment? "...If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well, but How to get that stuffin' it is difficult to tell!..." |
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18 May 00 - 02:33 PM (#230035) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Giac The State of Tennessee has little enclaves of chicken guards as well. They are encamped along the Mississippi. When I first heard of it a week or so ago, I envisioned the little cluckers in tiny straw hats, plucking tiny banjos and bravely awaiting hordes of infected mosquito armies ...
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18 May 00 - 02:44 PM (#230040) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario Mrrzy - recognized the fragment from the dim dark depths of pre-history when my mother used to read stories to me, but couldn't have told you what it was from....but I looked it up on the web and found it.... cute! |
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18 May 00 - 03:01 PM (#230044) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Mooh How come all the animal activists aren't out there complaining about us objectifying chickens? Think I'll go for a McPoulet now... Mooh. |
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18 May 00 - 05:48 PM (#230131) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: McGrath of Harlow Here is a Blue Clucky Thing |
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19 May 00 - 03:36 PM (#230685) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: GUEST,Mrr *groan!* |
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19 May 00 - 05:04 PM (#230721) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario On Chicken's Wings (To the tune of "On Eagles Wings")
You who dwell on the borders of the land |
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19 May 00 - 05:09 PM (#230725) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: SINSULL And Frank Purdue in a chicken suit at the head of the chorus line with a shepherd's crook baton. It's inspiring. |
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19 May 00 - 05:13 PM (#230730) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario Don't be silly. BIG BIRD in RCMP full dress uniform. Frank Purdue would be the colour commentator during the live coverage of our brave chickens marching off to battle. |
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19 May 00 - 05:36 PM (#230747) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Peter T. Typical. Yankees dressed up in precious Canadian symbols. No wonder we have chickens on our border. Be glad the timber wolves aren't unionized! Another Arctic cold spell is coming your way, Doodles!! Don't mess with us, or we sic de maple syrup bombarders on you, dat for shure!!CLUCK FOR JOHNNY CANUCK!!!!!!! yours, Peter T. |
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19 May 00 - 05:47 PM (#230750) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: MMario aw gosh dang it Peter! I tried to slant it to a more inclusive North American view, but what do you want from an ignorant and "Ugly American". Beside which, you got chickens poised on the border to invade, and I'm not that far south of the border. Those southern birds down in Tennessee would never make it up here in time, and you have allies in the southern hemisphere as well. now you gonna threaten me with maple syrup bombs? AND arctic air?
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19 May 00 - 05:55 PM (#230756) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Peter T. Just de beginning, Yankee. Come and take our precious women away from us with your Hollywood wiles and your hoochy-coochy dancing, will you!! We soften you up with the maple syrup, and then, when the ground is soft -- toboggans at dawn!! CLUCK FOR JOHNNY CANUCK!!! yours, Peter T. |
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19 May 00 - 06:01 PM (#230760) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: McGrath of Harlow As Chicken Little said "The Skyy is Falling!" |
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19 May 00 - 06:39 PM (#230778) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia And in "Cows with Guns" the chickens even had choppers ! JG / FME |
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20 May 00 - 12:30 AM (#230897) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: katlaughing MMario that was clucking BrillianT!!
Here dear little chickie
Gnat of the West Nile Oh, I think I'd better quit..it's getting worse!LOL!!!
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20 May 00 - 01:39 AM (#230922) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Racer What are these chickens looking for? Are they looking for executable files from unknown origins? I hated to add another pun to this thread, but I couldn't resist. -Racer |
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20 May 00 - 12:49 PM (#231040) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Mrrzy Reminds me of a bad poem, author forgotten, provenance maybe Mad Magazine? The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers? I was born down south on a chicken farm near Mashville, Tennessee / Tweren't nobody there but a sky full of air, 17 billion chickens, and me / And so one day I said Hey, hey, hey / Gonna set my chickens FREE! / There was chickens in the pasture, chickens in the barn / chickens in teh cauliflower, chickens in the corn / There was chickens driving Cadillacs to Washington, DC / When I set my chickens FREE? And you have to picture the illos. Anyone recognizing this, let me know where I found it... And the "nobody here but us chickens" line reminds me of the bullet in the furnace. |
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22 May 00 - 12:23 PM (#231831) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: Hollowfox It's from the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, inside front cover of one of the early comic books, but not the first one. BTW, Rip Off Press has a website where you can get all those issues you missed when you were young and broke. If you're young and broke now, but a student of "the classics", you'll just have to save your pennies, like me. |
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22 May 00 - 12:30 PM (#231834) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: GUEST,Mrr ooh, hollowfox, url? Didn't find it under Rip Off Press... |
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22 May 00 - 02:14 PM (#231972) Subject: RE: BS: Ain't nobody here but us chickens From: wysiwyg |