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Lyr Add: Parson Malthus

22 May 00 - 07:37 PM (#232202)
Subject: Parson Malthus
From: Conrad Bladey (Peasant- Inactive)

Parson Malthus
Written in 1836
tune- Ranting roaring Willie

Good people, if you'll pay attention,
I'll tell you a comical jest;
The theme I'm about now to mention
Alludes to one Malthus, a priest--
A proud, hypocritical preacher,
Who feds on thithe-pig and good wine;
But him I shall prove a false teacher--
Oh, all things have but a time.

Some years ago, through all the nation,
He publish'd a scandalous book--
An Essay about Population
But widely his text he mistook.
From marriage his plan's to restrain all
Poor people who are in their prime,
Lest the earth prove too small to contain all--
Such notions can last but a time.

But the Clergy who're plac'd in snug station,
The Nobles, and such like fine folks,
May continue their multiplication--
What think you, my friends of such jokes?
What think you of Malthus the Parson,
Who slights each injunction divine,
And laughs while he carries the farce on;--
But all things have but a time.

When the poor folk of hunger are dying,
He deems it no sin in the great,
Their hands to with-hold from supplying
The wretched with victuals to eat!
Such doctrine--sure a great evil--
Becomes not a Christian Divine;
'Tis more like the speech of the devil;--
But all things have but a time.

Now, my friends, you will readily see
Malthus's argument's not worth a curse;
For to starve the industrious bee,
Is no better than killing the goose.
That he does not believe in the Bible,
His book is a very true sign;
On Sacred Writ 'tis a libel--
Siuch trash can last but for a time.

Place the drones on one part of our isle,
The industrious class on the other;
There the former may simper and smile,
And bow and scrape each to his brother:
They can neither plough, throw the shuttle,
Nor build with stone and lime;
They'll then get but little to guttle,
And may grow wiser in time.

Ye blithe British hads and ye lasses,
Ne'er heed this daft, whimsical Priest;
Get sweethearts in spite of such asses--
The Bible Plan sure is the best:
Then away go in couples together,
And marry while you're in yoiur prime,
And strive to agree with each other,
For life only lasts a short time!

H. Robson-In: The Newcastle Song Book or Tyne-Side Songster., W&T Fordyce
Newcastle Upon Tyne.