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O Canada - a Song Challenge

07 Jun 00 - 08:59 PM (#239666)
Subject: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

We haven't had a song challenge for a bit - so maybe this little story might appeal. (And it's a hoot reading it anyway.)

07 Jun 00 - 09:12 PM (#239669)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: MMario

hoo-hah! gotta think about this one, but it has possibilities...

07 Jun 00 - 09:43 PM (#239687)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)

I only use good Rum fer aftershave mates, that is not banned in Nova Scotia yet. But I dont alf get funny looks from my RCMP mates when I get in my car, wonder why, I dont drink and drive? LOL. Yours,(not smelling like a Canton Coolies Jockstrap cause I shower regular) Aye. Dave

08 Jun 00 - 02:56 PM (#240006)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: GUEST,Mrr

Must be nice to live somewhere where there is little enough HARD crime that they can turn their attention to these "assaults" - I wouldn't mind someone outlawing perfume in elevators... but here, where priests are bashed on the head by 8-year-olds, I think the priorities are a little different, more's the pity!

08 Jun 00 - 04:56 PM (#240049)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

For them as hesitate to push the cicky in case it takes them somewhere they'd rather not go, here's the story from the June 4 Guardian (English):

The Canadian province of Nova Scotia has outlawed perfume in public places after claims that it contains toxic chemicals.

The ban, observed in government buildings, 80 per cent of schools and a growing number of private workplaces includes all fragrances, including those in hairspray and gel, mouthwash and deodorants. Some employees have been sent home to shower for being too sweetly scented.

The ban signals a victory for anti-perfume activists who lobbied outside the City Hall of the province's capital, Halifax, wearing gas masks. Their complaint is that fragrance is 97 per cent composed of undisclosed chemicals, some of which cause MCS - multiple chemical sensitivity. Critics say MCS is a spurious condition.

Karen Robinson, president of Citizens for a Safe Learning Environment, says: 'It makes us look like zealots and hypchochondriacs, and that's not the case. This ban on fragrance will affect the pocketbook of the cosmetic industry, and they're very powerful. It makes sense for them to discredit those campaigning against them.'

In Halifax not everyone has come to terms with the anti-perfume rule. An 84-year-old woman was escorted from a council meeting at City Hall for having a dab of perfume behind her ears.

Sheet Harbour High School was the scene of another scent showdown when a 17-year-old pupil refused to trade in his hair gel and deodorant for unscented alternatives. It almost got him a criminal record. His teacher, highly sensitive to fragrance, blamed the scent for triggering a vomiting attack. She called the incident an 'assault' and was backed by the school. The teen was handed over to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police but released without charge.

08 Jun 00 - 05:09 PM (#240055)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Rana who SHOULD be working

But there is another challenge!

A Walsall Job Centre in England refused a job advert which had the phrase "hard-working and enthusiastic" because it could be deemed discriminatry.

Now admittedly I read it in the online version of the Birmingham Evening Mail yesterday (I can't get the back issue so can't reproduce it), which isn't your most enlightened rag, but it does seem to take "correctness" a bit too far!

Rana

08 Jun 00 - 05:34 PM (#240064)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Uncle_DaveO

Hire me. I was born lazy, and I'm constitutionally thoughtless, so that's a handicap I can't help. You have to make accommodations for me or I'll sue you!

Dave Oesterreich

09 Jun 00 - 09:14 AM (#240341)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Willie-O

Oh what the hell. Another PC-bashing thread.

BORING!

Willie-O

09 Jun 00 - 10:27 AM (#240359)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: sledge

When reading stories such as the one at the beginning of this thread, it seems to me that The whining maggot brigade is taking over.

09 Jun 00 - 11:04 AM (#240366)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: MMario

Think Pepe LePeu and his little kitty, to the tune of "Gigi"


Pepe . . . am I a fool without a nose?
or have I been too congested, from my head unto my toes?
Oh Pepe . . . why you've been stinkin' up
These offices , god knows!

Pepe . . . you're not at all the funny
awkward little skunk I knew
Oh no, overnight there's been a breathless
change in you!

09 Jun 00 - 11:36 AM (#240382)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

"Another PC-bashing thread." It did seem to be drifting that way Willie O -but I think Mmario's got us back on course.

I think there's a lot to be said for trying to drive out the artificial smells in favour if the real ones.

Go smell it like a Mounty.

How can I keep from stinking.

Roll-on, my sweat may be armed.../I>

09 Jun 00 - 11:41 AM (#240387)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: MMario

Though I think "Whining Maggot Brigade" has possibilities...maybe to the tune of "Stout hearted Men"?

09 Jun 00 - 02:42 PM (#240478)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: GUEST,Mrr/creep (thread creep, that is)

In other news... check out today's Washington Post. Apparently there is a woman who used to be a man, and a man who used to be a woman, who are married BUT the INS wants to send the Irish one back because the whole things smells like same-sex marriage or something... Anyway, check out Mrr's Second Blicky (the first one didn't work). Another howl. I wonder if this blicky will work...


---Blicky fixed. Space and slash removed from end of URL.---

09 Jun 00 - 02:45 PM (#240481)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: GUEST,Mrr unblickied

It will never work. I cut the html phrasing from the Mudcat HTML guide, I copy the URL from the site, paste it into the syntax, and it formats as a blicky, but then when you click it, 404 every time. Anyone want to tell me what I'm doing wrong? After they get back up off the floor laughing at the story from http://washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/metro/A25302-2000Jun8.html (written out so you can find it if you want to)...

09 Jun 00 - 02:48 PM (#240482)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: GUEST,Mrr

Still creeping...

Am I alone in finding Pepe LePiew, or however it's spelled, to be a cartoon date rapist? I try not to overreact about these things, PC and all...but that IS what his cartoons are about, right?

09 Jun 00 - 04:27 PM (#240525)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: MMario

I suppose it could be taken that way. Though I doubt sincerely that it was ever meant that way. I've always seen him as the eternal optimist, because he never DOES get the cat, y'know....and of course he is an example of the supreme ego...

09 Jun 00 - 04:36 PM (#240529)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: MMario

Dang! I just noticed, half of "Pepe - au Natural" - got wiped out! And I didn't save the file!

09 Jun 00 - 05:54 PM (#240550)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

this should be your link Mrr

09 Jun 00 - 06:00 PM (#240552)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

The Mrr link that went wrong had this URL:

http://washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/metro/A25302-2000Jun8.html%20/

And the link that went right had this URL:

http://washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/metro/A25302-2000Jun8.html

So it must be that %20/ at the end that screwed things up. I don't understand these things.

09 Jun 00 - 06:53 PM (#240582)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Bradypus

I've probably used the same pun too often in this - but I enjoyed having a challenge again.

The tune is 'Mountain Dew', and the last four lines are lifted almost directly from one of the versions in Digitrad - but you've got to end a song somehow.

Bradypus

A Non-scents Song !

In Canada's land certain things are banned
Which will come as no surprise
But the government has now banned scent
I'm telling you no lies
Perfume in the air has now turned rare
In government and school
They can quickly tell if you smell too well
That you've broken their new rule.

In Halifax they were wearing masks
Chemical Sensitivity
Can make you sick if the perfume's thick
So they've banned it now, you see
Hypochondriacs with vomiting attacks
Or sensitive souls at home
It matters not how the law we've got
We're now a scents – free zone.

A dab behind the ears can lead to tears
Shower gel to an early bath
Now deodorant has no odour in't
As we go down the scent – free path
If you've got B O, better let it show
Or you could be done for assault
If you don't use scents, then you've got a defence
That the odour's not your fault

In the gardens and the parks there are many sparks
As the flowers quit the town
It may be common sense, but their common scents
Could have them all sent down
But my Auntie June has a sweet perfume
It has such a wonderful 'pew'
But it's legal still, fully natural
It's the real old mountain dew !

11 Jun 00 - 06:31 AM (#241041)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Bradypus

Refresh - does anyone else want to play ??

11 Jun 00 - 03:18 PM (#241150)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: SINSULL

Yes - just need some time. Refresh

11 Jun 00 - 06:25 PM (#241188)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Mrrzy

Great song! And thanks for the html help, *I* certainly didn't stick that %20 in but I'm sure I should have taken it out...

12 Jun 00 - 09:51 AM (#241414)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: SINSULL

With apologies to my Canadian neighbors:

A Mountie rode alone Toronto's Metro
Sweaty red wool stench worn like a shroud
It suffused the crowded train
And yet this was the refrain
From his fellow riders caught within the cloud

(refrain)
I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani
Halitosis is preferred to Listerine
My good Canadian sweat
Is less pungeant than my breath
But I'd rather smell myself than G. Armani

The Blue Jays played a game at Yankee Stadium
The NY team smelled fresh and sweet and clean
But Toronto's locker room
Reaked of various bodily fumes
To the fans up in the bleachers they did scream

I'd rather smell...

The provinces up north have banned all perfume
Poisoned scents or lotions are a crime
Public toilets smell of shit
Better that than cans of flit
For the population's safe from toxic climes.

And they'd rather smell themselves...

12 Jun 00 - 08:53 PM (#241733)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

Good stuff!

I was having probems fitting your song to the tune at first Bradypus - thenI realised I'd been trying the Irish Rare Old Mountain Dew instead of the |American Good Old Mountain Dew. Same drink essentially, but a different tune. Then it fitted fine.

SINSULL - I can relate to that chorus. I thought an Armani was some kind of motor car, which shows how in touch I am with the smelly industry.

I only hope I haven't been the cause of bad blood between the North Americans neighbours. Or bad breath. But what the hell - here's my contribution in response:

Oh the smell of the pinetrees is a smell beyond compare,
and the smell of the creatures that delight to live in there,
oh the moose and the squirrel and the great big grizzly bear,
you might not hear them coming, but you'll surely know they're here.

Oh the smell of Mother Nature
it is better left alone,
don't you spoil it with your perfume,
we'll have no Eau de Cologne.
We don't mind if you're fragrant,
but that scent you wear is flagrant,
and we'll count you as a vagrant,
yes, we'll lock you in the jail.

Oh these tourists with deodorants can be pretty bad to smell,
with the stuff they stick upon their hair, that kind of smelly gel,
and they come to Novia Scotia with another smell as well -
it's the smell of Coca Cola - and O but that's the stench of hell.

Oh the smell of Mother Nature
it is better left alone,
don't you spoil it with your perfume,
we'll have no Eau de Cologne.
We don't mind if you're fragrant,
but that scent you wear is flagrant,
and we'll count you as a vagrant,
yes, we'll lock you in the jail.

That last verse scans better with the first line being:

Oh these Yanks with their deodorants can be pretty bad to smell...

But after all the fuss about "fat Americans" I thought I'd better pay safe.

13 Jun 00 - 06:27 PM (#242079)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Mrrzy

Master McGrath, can you differentiate for me "Irish Rare Old Mountain Dew instead of the |American Good Old Mountain Dew" - I think I have the wrong one, too... Which is the one I ought to be using?

13 Jun 00 - 07:31 PM (#242113)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

Here's the American one: MOUNTAIN DEW, which seems to fit. And there's another version as well: GOOD OLD MOUNTAIN DEW

And here is the Irish song - which I can't believe isn't in the DT, but I couldn't find it anywhere (there is an American version with some lines in common: REAL OLD MOUNTAIN DEW):

THE REAL OLD MOUNTAIN DEW

Let grasses grow and the waters flow
in the free and easy way,
but give me enough of the rare old stuff
that's made near Galway Bay.
The gaugers all, from Donegal,
Sligo and Leitrim too,
Oh we'll give them the slip,
and we'll take a little sip
of the real old mountain dew.
Hi the skiddley-al-the dall
dal the skiddley al-the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee,
Hi the skiddley al the dal,
dal mthe skiddley al the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee.

At the foot of the hill
there's a neat little still
where the smoke curls up til the sky,
by the whiff of the smell,
you can plainly tell
that there's poitín, boys, close by.
For it fills the air with a perfume rare,
and between both me and you,
as home be go, we will take a little bowl,
or a bucket of the mountain dew.
Hi the skiddley-al-the dall
dal the skiddley al-the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee,
Hi the skiddley al the dal,
dal mthe skiddley al the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee.

No learned men who use the pen
have writ the praises high
of the sweet poitin from Ireland green,
distilled from wheat and rye.
Sure away with your pills,
it will cure all ills,
be ye Pagan, Christuan or Jew,
so take off your coat, and grease your throat
with the real old mountain dew.
Hi the skiddley-al-the dall
dal the skiddley al-the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee,
Hi the skiddley al the dal,
dal mthe skiddley al the dee,
dal the dal dal skiddley al the dee.

The chorus varies - everyone seems to do the lilt a bit different (skiddery al, or dithery dal, or skiddley al etc.

And in Colm O Lochlann's Irish Street Ballads he writes in the notes: "I first heard this song at a meeting of newly released political prisoners in December 1916. I am told it was written by Phil O Neill of Kinsale."

13 Jun 00 - 07:48 PM (#242122)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

That should be, in the last verse: "Now learned men..."

It's amazing the difference one letter can make!

13 Jun 00 - 08:39 PM (#242139)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Mrrzy

Aha, thanks. That is the one I was thinking of.

14 Jun 00 - 09:01 AM (#242287)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: SINSULL

Am I alone in this? My father has been singing this since I was a child,

My brother Bill has a still on the hill
He's about four foot nine
But he thinks he's a giant i
If you give him half a pint
Of that good old mountain dew

They call it that good old mountain dew dew dew
Them that refuse it are few
So I'll hush up my mug if you'll fill up my jug
With that good old mountain dew

Will remember more.

14 Jun 00 - 11:02 AM (#242322)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: GUEST,Mrr

Oh, Joe, thanks for fixing my blicky...

14 Jun 00 - 07:02 PM (#242543)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Bradypus

Now I'm confused - The words McGrath has posted are the words (give or take a few minor alterations) of the version I know, and had in mind when I wrote the non-scents song above. So presumably the tune is the same too. (I remember it from a recording by Robin Hall and Jimmy McGregor). I hadn't realised there were two tunes - but if I had,there might still have been a problem.

It's a very elastic tune. The phrase which covers four syllables (Let/Grass/es/Grow)in verse 1 extends to cover six syllables (At the/foot/of the/hill) in verse 2, and the four note 'echo' in the version I know covers seven syllables (There's a/darling/little/still). Part of the fun of this tune is fitting the words in - so I was quite happy to use five syllables in my first line (In/Cana/da's/Land), and use any number of syllables from four to seven in these phrases throughout. (I'm using slashes to indicate beats; the extra syllables go on quavers where needed). Anyway, it fitted in my head when I wrote it.

None of this really matters - it's led to McGrath posting the words of one of my favourite songs, so I'm happy.

Bradypus

15 Jun 00 - 05:32 PM (#243027)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: Áine

Are y'all done now?? Can I please start posting your songs to the Songbook, or what?? Great stuff from everyone, as usual!

-- Áine

15 Jun 00 - 05:38 PM (#243032)
Subject: RE: O Canada - a Song Challenge
From: McGrath of Harlow

I think we seem through - the thread drift to songs about whiskey has led to new thread. Thanks Áine.