04 Jul 00 - 09:01 PM (#251880) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Well, this should be a "cleansing" experience after the last two Challenge!s. Ready, set, DIVE IN CHALLENGE!RS!! The Topless Mermaid: 'Most people just look and cheer' -- OSLO, Norway - A bare-breasted blonde mermaid perched atop a rock is making tourists gape in disbelief along a Norwegian fjord. "One man once jumped off a boat and swam over to me," Line Oexnevad, 37 and mother of two children, said on Tuesday of her unorthodox job as a professional siren. "Most people just look and cheer." Oexnevad, naked except for a long blonde wig and a costume fish-tail, said she has sat five times on a rock along the Lyse fjord in West Norway in the past three summers, hired as a surprise attraction for tourist boat trips and parties. "The last time it was a bit cold," she said. "The mermaid in Copenhagen and me are the only mermaids I know of," she said. The "Little Mermaid" in Copenhagen is a statue inspired by a Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale. Oexnevad, who also works at a hospital in nearby Stavanger, said she was no good at singing -- in legend, sirens sang to lure sailors. "Maybe next time I'll take along a cassette player," she said. |
05 Jul 00 - 02:10 AM (#252028) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine |
05 Jul 00 - 07:03 AM (#252081) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Dharmabum NORWEGIAN WOODY I once saw a maid, Or should I say, She was a fish, She showed me some skin, And then some scale, And then some fin.
She sat on a rock in Oslo, And showed me her chest, I sat in my rowboat hoping, She'd show me the rest.
She told me the man, Who was doin the hirin, Wanted a siren, But she couldn't sing, So she used a tape player, So he wouldn't filet ' er.
I jumped in the river, I made a big splash & some ripples, The air was quite cold, I could tell by the look on her nipples.
I shed my attire, And without fail, She gave me her tail, So we lit a fire, Don't it feel good, My Norwegian wood. |
05 Jul 00 - 07:26 AM (#252084) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Dharmabum Well didn't exactly come across in the correct format,but you get the idea. I'm off for a 5 day vacation to north central PA. Going to a BG fest up there. Gonna try to stop in & say hello to Praise & Hardi. This challange ought to be pretty full by the time I get back. Later Ron. |
05 Jul 00 - 08:08 AM (#252095) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Scabby Douglas The beautiful mermaid sat out on the rock Way out in the Lyse fjord And waved to all the tourists in boats (Who had been getting bjored) She was only a part-time mermaid And her tail was a recent addition But her alternate roles as a mother and nurse Left her filled with a burning ambition The climate's not ideal for mermaids you know Way out midst the waves and the ripples When the wind blows your wig, it's a hell of a gig And the salt spray plays hell with your nipples So here's to the mermaid, fair Line by name And pity the drunkard who views her They've lost it, (they'll think) And swear off the drink And never return to the boozer.
Can't think of a tune... help yersels
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05 Jul 00 - 09:09 AM (#252117) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine A couple of excellent "first goes", Dharmabum and SDoug! Thanks to you both for jumping into the water so early in the morning. ;-) -- Áine |
05 Jul 00 - 09:36 AM (#252127) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario bjored? Never, while there be song challenges! |
05 Jul 00 - 09:54 AM (#252131) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Naemanson How do you pronounce "Lyse"? Could be important to rhyme scheme and scan. |
05 Jul 00 - 09:57 AM (#252132) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Scabby Douglas Lyse would probably be lee-seh.. but it could be pronounced "lice" - Dunno. What am I, Norwegian? - NO! I'm GLASwegian. Cheers |
05 Jul 00 - 10:08 AM (#252138) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario When in doubt about pronunciation - cheat..... |
05 Jul 00 - 11:17 AM (#252174) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: GUEST,emily b The thing that impresses me about this story is that this mermaid is 37. Here in the States they'd to dress up an 18 year old hardbody. Then again, we're too prudish for this sort of thing. I love reading and singing the songs that all of you talented challengers come up with. You keep me so entertained. Emily |
05 Jul 00 - 11:38 AM (#252187) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario How about twisting this around a bit? To the tune (roughly)of the "10 Minutes Ago" waltz from "Cinderella"
Ten minutes ago, I saw it! |
05 Jul 00 - 12:27 PM (#252212) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Mbo To the tune of "The Mermaid": It was Sunday morn when we set sail On a fjord-tourning rendezvous When I saw on a rock in the salty brine The answer to my dreams come true! A mermaid on a rock! She gave me quite a shock! A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below! A cute little fishes' tail below! Well they pointed and cheered like a bunch of stupid fools All the folks by the rail next to me But I knew in my heart that I had to do more So I lept from the boat to the sea! A mermaid on a rock! She gave me quite a shock! A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below! A cute little fishes' tail below! Oh I swam and I swam toward the rock where she sat As fast as a hot knife through butter So I took off me pants, for more speed did I need And it worked like a charm as a rudder! A mermaid on a rock! She gave me quite a shock! A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below! A cute little fishes' tail below! I arrived where she sat, and I stared like a cat At her glistening ladies' things and I said "You and my sea cucumbah could do the wavy rhumba" But she dropped her boombox on my head! A mermaid on a rock! She gave me quite a shock! A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below! A cute little fishes' tail below! So beware of those mermaids, and take of me this advice Keep your head, or your wits they'll rob And never ever try your best pick-up line When she's got Gordon Bok on the knob! A mermaid on a rock! She gave me quite a shock! A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below! A cute little fishes' tail below! --Mbo |
05 Jul 00 - 12:42 PM (#252235) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario Huzzah Mbo! |
05 Jul 00 - 02:17 PM (#252291) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario okay - so this has very little to do with the challenge...hey it DOES have a mermaid in it... To the tune of "Quare Bungle Rye" Mermaid?
Now Lyse was a fjord, just outside of town
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05 Jul 00 - 02:55 PM (#252327) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine WOW!! I thought the 'mermaid' theme would makes things 'sparkle' around here; but, you guys have completely flabbergasted me!! Well done Mbo and MMario! Keep swimming, my dear Challenge!rs -- you're doing swimmingly! -- Áine |
05 Jul 00 - 04:49 PM (#252403) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Naemanson OK Just for the Halibut I've FINished (Finnish'd) my latest effort to win the prize. I hope it isn't seen as a FLUKE and meets with your approval. I've Haddock if it doesn't. Once more I attempt to SCALE the heights... The Little Breasted Mermaid (Bettered) (ToTheTuneOf: The Long Black Rifle) Look closer, my friend, and you'll see her there, She's on that rock and she's mostly bare, She's been there for a while without a care, That bare breasted mermaid. Chorus: They say she's a fake, not really so fishy Some even say she really can't swim, But I see her there on that rock in the Lyse I see her there so bare, neat, and trim. A tour boat captain I long have been, In Copenhagen and Oslo it's mermaids I've seen, If you ask me which is the best I'll scream, That bare breasted mermaid. The Little Mermaid is Denmark's very own, Sweet and petite she watches the town, Still and cold and quiet as a stone, A bare breasted mermaid. But here in Oslo we've Oexnavad, With electronic help her voice isn't bad, And baring her breasts makes us so glad, She's no Little (breasted) Mermaid!
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05 Jul 00 - 05:54 PM (#252439) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin Well, here goes mine....
She Sang of Old Ballinderry
Now when I was a young man I took to the sea
And how well I remember those terrible days,
And those that were left, well we tried to survive
So I floated onwards, all battered and maimed
So now every April I sit on me porch
Oft times I sailed to bonny Ram's Island, Amergin
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05 Jul 00 - 10:32 PM (#252619) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin That should read flowing "beers" not flowing "bears". |
06 Jul 00 - 10:50 AM (#252856) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario too bad! The visual imagery of pulling into 'frisco with cheers ringing and bears of all colours flowing over the docks and decks was quite ... well it was quite... uhmmmm.... oh heck! I liked it! |
06 Jul 00 - 01:55 PM (#252950) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful, Naemanson and Amergin! Very evocative, indeed -- Well done!! I'm just loving all these great 'mind pictures' y'all are composing. -- Áine |
06 Jul 00 - 07:12 PM (#253107) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Bradypus The tune is 'The Great Silkie'. It's been haunting me ever since I realised I could use it for this challenge. The Silkie and The Fause Mermaid In Norroway there lived a maid At Lyse Fjord, beside the sea And though she was of human blood A mermaid she'd pretend to be In summer time, upon a rock She'd sit for hours beside the sea And smile and wave at boats that passed And so she sat for summers three The sun shone bright, the sea was calm She sat on show, her breasts were bare To north she'd look, then east and west And comb her long blonde silken hair So late one summer afternoon She sat alone, boats there were none A seal shuff'd up upon the rock And lay there, basking in the sun The seal, it spoke, and made her start Such things in legend she had heard But, here, on Lyse Fjord rock She sat entranced by every word 'List to me, maid, for thou art fair At first I thought thee silkie kind But though I see that thou art not I'll love thee still, as thou shalt find 'Come swim with me upon the sea Come live with me, and be my wife Leave this hard land, with all its toil Enjoy the sea, where there's no strife We'll swim far north to Arctic bliss We'll see where icebergs new are made Beneath the Northern Lights we'll kiss As nature's wonders are displayed We'll swim far south, to warmer seas There's food a-plenty, have no fear Then back to Ireland. Scotland, France And Norroway again, next year" Some say she slipped from off the rock Some say a freak wave dragged her in The two children she left behind Ne'er saw their mother ere again Now every year by Lyse Fjord Two children sit and look to sea And every year two seals are there The fause mermaid and grey Silkie
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07 Jul 00 - 05:56 AM (#253313) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Did you hear the one about the mermaid who entered the beauty contest? She gave her measurements as 38,22 and 3/6* a pound. RtS *(price in pre-decimal currency denotes the age of the "joke"!) |
07 Jul 00 - 09:50 AM (#253379) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Beautiful, Bradypus. I would love to hear you sing this one. Any chance of that?? Just goes to show that we don't always have to be cute in a Challenge!, and how versatile you Challenge!rs really are. -- Áine |
07 Jul 00 - 09:52 AM (#253382) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario bradypus! huzzah! excellent craftsmanship. And since it doesn't have any anachronisims in it I can even sing it at faire! wow! *standing ovation* |
07 Jul 00 - 10:09 AM (#253394) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: SINSULL Bradypus, Very nice, indeed. Congratulations. Well done. |
08 Jul 00 - 11:10 AM (#254071) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine I can't believe it -- you guys let a bare-chested mermaid fall off the 24-hour list on the forum??? Whazzup wid dat?? Come on, I know you Challenge!rs have a couple more ditties in you!! -- Áine |
09 Jul 00 - 01:14 PM (#254573) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine |
10 Jul 00 - 01:06 PM (#255160) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin Come on, folks!! There's got to be more out there.... Is there? Amergin |
10 Jul 00 - 04:28 PM (#255270) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: SINSULL Refresh |
10 Jul 00 - 07:29 PM (#255398) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Perhaps it's appropriate for this one to be the last entry (hehehehe) . . . For those of you too young to remember the song Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, just sing this with your favorite cha-cha tune. Note: "ditties" is the family euphemism for those lovely female glandular protuberances found on mermaids perched on rocks in fjords.
Itsy Bitsy Scaley Greeny Fishy Tail, But No Bikini |
10 Jul 00 - 07:29 PM (#255400) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Bradypus As we're in Hans Christian Andersen country (with mermaids, I know he wasn't Norwegian), we could try something like:
There once was a lonely mermaid Bradypus
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10 Jul 00 - 07:43 PM (#255412) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Well done, Bradypus! (and I see we posted at the same time -- what's that old saw about great minds??) Surely we've got a couple more 'bare-chested beauties' left in us?? Come on, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
10 Jul 00 - 07:48 PM (#255419) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Bradypus Nice one yourself Aine - I loved the chorus ! Bradypus |
10 Jul 00 - 08:09 PM (#255429) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario I can already tell my drem tonite will be filled with:
" One - Two - Three - Four,
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10 Jul 00 - 11:43 PM (#255516) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin Mermaids In The Sky
As I was sailing down one evening to Lyse Fjord
The school swam down the Lyse for as far as I could see
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
Each one started singing upon the ocean crests
Jump down to me, Jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
I read of them in the stories and heard of them in song
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
The stars they were dying, as the ship sailed slowly on
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky Amergin |
10 Jul 00 - 11:52 PM (#255521) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Ooooooh, spooky one there, Amergin -- I've got goosepimples all over me, don't I? And just what did Mummsy's little poppit drink from the drinkies cupboard when Mummsy turned her head tonight, mmmmm? Naughty, naughty, Amergin! ;-)
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11 Jul 00 - 01:09 AM (#255555) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Well, it looks as though we've exhausted our poor mermaid here, so I suppose it's time to mosey on to the next Challenge! But remember, dear Challenge!rs, no Challenge! is ever really over . . . Here are your awards, and again, my cudos, congrats, and thanks for another great round of wonderful songs. Back pats and air kisses all round, eh?
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock: |
14 Jul 00 - 04:35 AM (#257498) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Spider Tom Aine and all others, A thousand apologies for my neglect of the song challenge but I am unable to devote the time I would like to just now so have been scarce, for this I am truely sorry. I already have a mermaid of my own in a song and so I will introduce her to you all here. Spider Tom, I still love you all ...Honest! A GOOD LINE (C) Ken (Spider Tom) Robertson 29/10/1999. One night, I was dreaming, and I woke up moaning, I found a perfect stranger, there inside my bed. I was thrown, in a panic, I'm just a broke mechanic, So I tried to diagnose, the miss inside my head. My thoughts were retrieving,the previous evening, I had a recollection, of nothing much, at all A bed-fellow delicious, or bed-fellow , vicious, She sighed in her sleep, and turned to the wall. I was never, ever fine, at a good pick up line, And confusion,and stale wine, tortured my dull head, This was no apparition, was she there, from my wishing, Last night, I'd gone fishing, now a girl is in my bed. . Her grey eyes, gave a flutter, no word did she utter, She flung back the blanket, and gave a little flail, My eyes, started popping, my jaw, started flopping, Instead of two long legs, she sported, a fish-tail. What a wild, fish-story, there in her glory, Was the finest of Mermaids, that fell, for a good line. Should I seduce, or scale her, I was bound, to fail her, My body still all droopy, from the bottles of wine. She gave me a hurt look, showed me where my hook, Had pierced her lower lip, said she felt the sting. I said,"be mine, forever, I won't hurt you ever, Your mouth is just adorable, I'll give you a lip-ring." All things in life, are winnable, your chance, at best is probable. And love becomes unstoppable, as passions rise and fall, A mermaid, oh so fine, can be caught with a good line, When providence devine, gives two hearts a call. We now share a zacuzzi,she never was a floosie, We were wedded, by the ocean, to the singing of the whales, We fell, hook, line and sinker,and as I love to tinker, She showed me how to get inside her scales. I was never, ever fine, at a good pickup line, "Luck", is a fisherman, I have often said. This was no apparition, she was there from her wishing, I've given up fishing, keep scaleing her instead. |
14 Jul 00 - 04:58 AM (#257502) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin Well, if you must know, Aine, I was out picking these funny tasting mushrooms in Mummsy's garden.... Spider Tom, that is a wonderful song. About your truancy though, well I forgive you. I understand about getting too busy, and I'm sure Old Aine and the others do too....or at least they better...Glad you're back... Amergin |
14 Jul 00 - 08:44 AM (#257532) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: MMario uh-oh! he used the "o" word. Bradypus, gotta thank you, I've already sung your "Fause Mermaid" several times and working hard on getting it memorized so I can use it more... |
14 Jul 00 - 10:37 AM (#257591) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Áine Naughty, naughty, Spider Tom!! Hiding that great song up your sleeve -- Come here so Mummsy can spank you (hehehehe) . . . Now, would you please let me put your wunnerful song in the Songbook (on the Folk Song page, of course)?? Or do you need to be spanked some more . . . Even though Spider Tom's song isn't an official Challenge! entry, I'm awarding it a Silver B.L.O.B. (best line o' bull) for:
We now share a zacuzzi,she never was a floosie, Now for you, Amergin -- "Old Aine" is it??? Mmmmmmm -- spanking is definitely too good for ya -- I'm going to meditate on your punishment for a while . . . might just make you eat all the Golden Cow Chips you've won . . . yeah, that sounds good . . . -- Áine |
14 Jul 00 - 12:54 PM (#257677) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Amergin Well, at least I didn't say ancient.... |
14 Jul 00 - 06:54 PM (#257849) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Bradypus No, MMario, I should thank you. (see personal message) |
17 Jul 00 - 05:52 AM (#259042) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Spider Tom Dear Aine, I thank you for the B.L.O.B. and the words of praise but ESPECIALLLY for the spanking I needed that such a disiplained hand you have. Yes I would love you to put my song where ever you choose to fit it Love you all, Spider Tom |
01 Sep 01 - 04:16 PM (#539794) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Jack the Sailor Mermaid for Tour Boats- Bonnie Raitt version
I am a young woman dressed like a mermaid.
I am a mermaid hired for the tour boats
I read of the mermaid in Copenhagen
There's fish in the water, I can hear them swimming What a way to make a living, with out any clothes |
03 Sep 01 - 11:32 AM (#540766) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: Aidan Crossey To the tune of "Greenland Whale Fisheries"
THE OSLO MERMAID |
24 May 05 - 03:23 AM (#1491752) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32 From: GUEST,Magpie By the way, the Lysefjord (pron. leeseh , the 'ee' pronounced with rounded lips like the 'y' in 'you'), is not in Oslo, but on the west coast. Oslo IS situated in a fjord, but that is the Oslo Fjord. Easy to think that Norwegians are a bit funny for dressing up a 'girl' as a mermaid, and sitting her on a rock in a fjord, but what then about the tourists who literally jump ship to take a closer look? And yes, it is true. Magpie |