Song Challenge! Part 32

04 Jul 00 - 09:01 PM (#251880)
Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Well, this should be a "cleansing" experience after the last two Challenge!s. Ready, set, DIVE IN CHALLENGE!RS!!

The Topless Mermaid: 'Most people just look and cheer' -- OSLO, Norway - A bare-breasted blonde mermaid perched atop a rock is making tourists gape in disbelief along a Norwegian fjord.

"One man once jumped off a boat and swam over to me," Line Oexnevad, 37 and mother of two children, said on Tuesday of her unorthodox job as a professional siren. "Most people just look and cheer."

Oexnevad, naked except for a long blonde wig and a costume fish-tail, said she has sat five times on a rock along the Lyse fjord in West Norway in the past three summers, hired as a surprise attraction for tourist boat trips and parties.

"The last time it was a bit cold," she said. "The mermaid in Copenhagen and me are the only mermaids I know of," she said. The "Little Mermaid" in Copenhagen is a statue inspired by a Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale.

Oexnevad, who also works at a hospital in nearby Stavanger, said she was no good at singing -- in legend, sirens sang to lure sailors. "Maybe next time I'll take along a cassette player," she said.

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05 Jul 00 - 02:10 AM (#252028)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

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05 Jul 00 - 07:03 AM (#252081)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Dharmabum

NORWEGIAN WOODY I once saw a maid,

Or should I say,

She was a fish,

She showed me some skin,

And then some scale,

And then some fin.

She sat on a rock in Oslo,

And showed me her chest,

I sat in my rowboat hoping,

She'd show me the rest.

She told me the man,

Who was doin the hirin,

Wanted a siren,

But she couldn't sing,

So she used a tape player,

So he wouldn't filet ' er.

I jumped in the river,

I made a big splash & some ripples,

The air was quite cold,

I could tell by the look on her nipples.

I shed my attire,

And without fail,

She gave me her tail,

So we lit a fire,

Don't it feel good,

My Norwegian wood.

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05 Jul 00 - 07:26 AM (#252084)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Dharmabum

Well didn't exactly come across in the correct format,but you get the idea. I'm off for a 5 day vacation to north central PA. Going to a BG fest up there. Gonna try to stop in & say hello to Praise & Hardi. This challange ought to be pretty full by the time I get back.

Later Ron.

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05 Jul 00 - 08:08 AM (#252095)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Scabby Douglas

The beautiful mermaid sat out on the rock
Way out in the Lyse fjord
And waved to all the tourists in boats
(Who had been getting bjored)


She was only a part-time mermaid
And her tail was a recent addition
But her alternate roles as a mother and nurse
Left her filled with a burning ambition

The climate's not ideal for mermaids you know
Way out midst the waves and the ripples
When the wind blows your wig, it's a hell of a gig
And the salt spray plays hell with your nipples

So here's to the mermaid, fair Line by name
And pity the drunkard who views her
They've lost it, (they'll think)
And swear off the drink
And never return to the boozer.

Can't think of a tune... help yersels

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05 Jul 00 - 09:09 AM (#252117)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

A couple of excellent "first goes", Dharmabum and SDoug! Thanks to you both for jumping into the water so early in the morning. ;-)

-- Áine

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05 Jul 00 - 09:36 AM (#252127)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

bjored? Never, while there be song challenges!

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05 Jul 00 - 09:54 AM (#252131)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Naemanson

How do you pronounce "Lyse"? Could be important to rhyme scheme and scan.

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05 Jul 00 - 09:57 AM (#252132)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Scabby Douglas

Lyse would probably be lee-seh.. but it could be pronounced "lice" -

Dunno. What am I, Norwegian? - NO! I'm GLASwegian.

Cheers

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05 Jul 00 - 10:08 AM (#252138)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

When in doubt about pronunciation - cheat.....

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05 Jul 00 - 11:17 AM (#252174)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: GUEST,emily b

The thing that impresses me about this story is that this mermaid is 37. Here in the States they'd to dress up an 18 year old hardbody. Then again, we're too prudish for this sort of thing.

I love reading and singing the songs that all of you talented challengers come up with. You keep me so entertained.

Emily

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05 Jul 00 - 11:38 AM (#252187)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

How about twisting this around a bit?

To the tune (roughly)of the "10 Minutes Ago" waltz from "Cinderella"

Ten minutes ago, I saw it!
I glanced up as I combed out my hair
And there it was steaming,
O'er the waves brightly gleaming,
The dreaded air-person boat tour!

They tell me, it doesn't exist!
That maybe I ate a bad fish
But I tell you, I saw it!
as it shattered the quiet
of the fjord, as I combed out my hair!

Yes, I saw it!
No, I'm not mad!
They were taking deep breathes of the air
And I heard them, as they chattered
And pointed at me in my lair!

They tell me, it doesn't exist!
That maybe I ate a bad fish
But I tell you, I saw it!
as it shattered the quiet
of the fjord, as I combed out my hair!

They had legs like a land animal does!
No sign that a fin there once was!
and their hair it was not green,
but the strangest that I've seen
some was even as bright as the sun!

Yes, I saw it!
No, I'm not mad!
They were taking deep breathes of the air
And I heard them, as they chattered
And pointed at me in my lair!

Ten minutes ago, I saw it!
I glanced up as I combed out my hair
And there it was steaming,
O'er the waves brightly gleaming,
The dreaded air-person boat tour!

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05 Jul 00 - 12:27 PM (#252212)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Mbo

To the tune of "The Mermaid":

It was Sunday morn when we set sail
On a fjord-tourning rendezvous
When I saw on a rock in the salty brine
The answer to my dreams come true!

A mermaid on a rock!
She gave me quite a shock!
A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top
Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below!
A cute little fishes' tail below!

Well they pointed and cheered like a bunch of stupid fools
All the folks by the rail next to me
But I knew in my heart that I had to do more
So I lept from the boat to the sea!

A mermaid on a rock!
She gave me quite a shock!
A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top
Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below!
A cute little fishes' tail below!

Oh I swam and I swam toward the rock where she sat
As fast as a hot knife through butter
So I took off me pants, for more speed did I need
And it worked like a charm as a rudder!

A mermaid on a rock!
She gave me quite a shock!
A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top
Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below!
A cute little fishes' tail below!

I arrived where she sat, and I stared like a cat
At her glistening ladies' things and I said
"You and my sea cucumbah could do the wavy rhumba"
But she dropped her boombox on my head!



A mermaid on a rock!
She gave me quite a shock!
A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top
Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below!
A cute little fishes' tail below!

So beware of those mermaids, and take of me this advice
Keep your head, or your wits they'll rob
And never ever try your best pick-up line
When she's got Gordon Bok on the knob!

A mermaid on a rock!
She gave me quite a shock!
A bare-chested large-breasted woman on the top
Witha cute little fishes' tail below below below!
A cute little fishes' tail below!


--Mbo

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05 Jul 00 - 12:42 PM (#252235)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

Huzzah Mbo!

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05 Jul 00 - 02:17 PM (#252291)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

okay - so this has very little to do with the challenge...hey it DOES have a mermaid in it...

To the tune of "Quare Bungle Rye"

Mermaid?

Now Lyse was a fjord, just outside of town
And I was a tourist, my name 'tis Bjorn Brown
I went for a cruise, and a mermaid did spy
I jumped over board, and I bet you know why!

Fal diddy die, diddle diddle doe die

I laughed and I shouted! I pointed! How bold!
I just had to get closer, though it was bloody cold
So I jumped over board, and swam towards her rock
And when I got there, I was in for a shock!

Fal diddy die, diddle diddle doe die

Because I'd been drinkin', I was so confused
And this was half maiden and half a fish fused
From waist to one end, she was nothing but shark
The rest would have looked good with wings and a harp!

Fal diddy die, diddle diddle doe die

Her ankles and calves, I just had to caress
But her shark half got jealous, or so I would guess
Before I could touch her, her jaws opened wide
Displaying the three rows of sharp teeth inside

fal diddy die, shortly there-after I died!

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05 Jul 00 - 02:55 PM (#252327)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

WOW!! I thought the 'mermaid' theme would makes things 'sparkle' around here; but, you guys have completely flabbergasted me!! Well done Mbo and MMario!

Keep swimming, my dear Challenge!rs -- you're doing swimmingly!

-- Áine

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05 Jul 00 - 04:49 PM (#252403)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Naemanson

OK Just for the Halibut I've FINished (Finnish'd) my latest effort to win the prize. I hope it isn't seen as a FLUKE and meets with your approval. I've Haddock if it doesn't. Once more I attempt to SCALE the heights...

The Little Breasted Mermaid (Bettered) (ToTheTuneOf: The Long Black Rifle)

Look closer, my friend, and you'll see her there, She's on that rock and she's mostly bare, She's been there for a while without a care, That bare breasted mermaid.

Chorus: They say she's a fake, not really so fishy Some even say she really can't swim, But I see her there on that rock in the Lyse I see her there so bare, neat, and trim.

A tour boat captain I long have been, In Copenhagen and Oslo it's mermaids I've seen, If you ask me which is the best I'll scream, That bare breasted mermaid.

The Little Mermaid is Denmark's very own, Sweet and petite she watches the town, Still and cold and quiet as a stone, A bare breasted mermaid.

But here in Oslo we've Oexnavad, With electronic help her voice isn't bad, And baring her breasts makes us so glad, She's no Little (breasted) Mermaid!

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05 Jul 00 - 05:54 PM (#252439)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

Well, here goes mine....

She Sang of Old Ballinderry

Now when I was a young man I took to the sea
And I lived the free life of the sailor.
From the Pacific Ocean to the Antarctic Sea,
Well, I followed the trail of the whaler.
Then in 1860, my captain said, "Son,
It's time to stop sailing, my fortune is won."
So he gave me all my tin in the afternoon sun
And we set our course to the shore.
And I heard her sing of old BallinderryBR> As the ship pulled into Frisco Bay
And midst all the cheers, singing, and flowing bears,
I found a ship to sail on the sea

And how well I remember those terrible days,
How the storms grounded and pounded the wreck
And of how in that hell of the Atlantic Ocean
We were rolled around all over the deck
Poisiedon, he was ready, he primed himself well.
He showered us with sea foam, and he screamed a ghastly yell
And in five minutes flat, he'd blown us all to hell,
Nearly blew us back home to the harbor.
And I heard her sing of old Ballinderry
As we stopped in the eye of the storm,
We lashed our masts, cut loose the whale
Then we started all over again.

And those that were left, well we tried to survive
In that mad world of rain, wind and water.
And for ten weary moments I kept myself alive
Though around me I heard all the slaughter.
Then a big salty arm knocked me ass over head
And when I awoke in me liquid salt bed
And saw what it had done, well I wished I was dead.
Never knew there were worse things than dying.
For I'll go no more a hunting the whale,
All around the world far and near
To whip up the strands, a man needs both hands,
No more sailing the world for me.

So I floated onwards, all battered and maimed
Silently awaiting to greet my maker
I was laying there, crying with a pain unnamed
As I floated to the Norwegian breakers.
And when I looked up, oh what did I see
But a barechested mermaid abeckoning me
And I thank Christ I was saved from the sea
And I howled and I shouted with glee.
And she sang of old Ballinderry
As I paddled on to the Lyse fjord
I lay by her side in the sinking tide,
And listened to the great ocean roar.

So now every April I sit on me porch
And I watch the waves pound before me.
And I see the old liners, how proudly they march
Living all their dreams of new glory,
And the sails are furled, filled with wonderful tales
The captains are screaming, "We're hunting the whales
It's oil we are seeking, so brave all the gales"
I imagine all this and smile.
And she sings of old Ballinderry,
And me heart pours out with pure love
But as year follows year, our children will grow
For her, I thank the Lord above.

Oft times I sailed to bonny Ram's Island,
Side by side with Phelim, my diamond,
And often he'd court me, and I'd be coy -
In my heart how I loved him, my darling boy.
Ochone, O! ochone! ochone! ochone!

Amergin

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05 Jul 00 - 10:32 PM (#252619)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

That should read flowing "beers" not flowing "bears".

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06 Jul 00 - 10:50 AM (#252856)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

too bad! The visual imagery of pulling into 'frisco with cheers ringing and bears of all colours flowing over the docks and decks was quite ... well it was quite... uhmmmm....

oh heck! I liked it!

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06 Jul 00 - 01:55 PM (#252950)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful, Naemanson and Amergin! Very evocative, indeed -- Well done!! I'm just loving all these great 'mind pictures' y'all are composing.

-- Áine

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06 Jul 00 - 07:12 PM (#253107)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Bradypus

The tune is 'The Great Silkie'. It's been haunting me ever since I realised I could use it for this challenge.

The Silkie and The Fause Mermaid

In Norroway there lived a maid
At Lyse Fjord, beside the sea
And though she was of human blood
A mermaid she'd pretend to be

In summer time, upon a rock
She'd sit for hours beside the sea
And smile and wave at boats that passed
And so she sat for summers three

The sun shone bright, the sea was calm
She sat on show, her breasts were bare
To north she'd look, then east and west
And comb her long blonde silken hair

So late one summer afternoon
She sat alone, boats there were none
A seal shuff'd up upon the rock
And lay there, basking in the sun

The seal, it spoke, and made her start
Such things in legend she had heard
But, here, on Lyse Fjord rock
She sat entranced by every word

'List to me, maid, for thou art fair
At first I thought thee silkie kind
But though I see that thou art not
I'll love thee still, as thou shalt find

'Come swim with me upon the sea
Come live with me, and be my wife
Leave this hard land, with all its toil
Enjoy the sea, where there's no strife

We'll swim far north to Arctic bliss
We'll see where icebergs new are made
Beneath the Northern Lights we'll kiss
As nature's wonders are displayed

We'll swim far south, to warmer seas
There's food a-plenty, have no fear
Then back to Ireland. Scotland, France
And Norroway again, next year"

Some say she slipped from off the rock
Some say a freak wave dragged her in
The two children she left behind
Ne'er saw their mother ere again

Now every year by Lyse Fjord
Two children sit and look to sea
And every year two seals are there
The fause mermaid and grey Silkie

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07 Jul 00 - 05:56 AM (#253313)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

Did you hear the one about the mermaid who entered the beauty contest? She gave her measurements as 38,22 and 3/6* a pound.
RtS *(price in pre-decimal currency denotes the age of the "joke"!)

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07 Jul 00 - 09:50 AM (#253379)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Beautiful, Bradypus. I would love to hear you sing this one. Any chance of that??

Just goes to show that we don't always have to be cute in a Challenge!, and how versatile you Challenge!rs really are.

-- Áine

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07 Jul 00 - 09:52 AM (#253382)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

bradypus! huzzah! excellent craftsmanship. And since it doesn't have any anachronisims in it I can even sing it at faire! wow! *standing ovation*

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07 Jul 00 - 10:09 AM (#253394)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: SINSULL

Bradypus,
Very nice, indeed. Congratulations. Well done.

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08 Jul 00 - 11:10 AM (#254071)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

I can't believe it -- you guys let a bare-chested mermaid fall off the 24-hour list on the forum??? Whazzup wid dat?? Come on, I know you Challenge!rs have a couple more ditties in you!!

-- Áine

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09 Jul 00 - 01:14 PM (#254573)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

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10 Jul 00 - 01:06 PM (#255160)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

Come on, folks!! There's got to be more out there....

Is there?

Amergin

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10 Jul 00 - 04:28 PM (#255270)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: SINSULL

Refresh

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10 Jul 00 - 07:29 PM (#255398)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Perhaps it's appropriate for this one to be the last entry (hehehehe) . . . For those of you too young to remember the song Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, just sing this with your favorite cha-cha tune. Note: "ditties" is the family euphemism for those lovely female glandular protuberances found on mermaids perched on rocks in fjords.

Itsy Bitsy Scaley Greeny Fishy Tail, But No Bikini
(Tune: Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini)

Chorus:
She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

From the kitchen to the car now
From the car to windy shore
From windy shore onto the boulders
There she sat from nine to four

In a wink her fingers wrinkled
In a blink her hair was soaked
Upon her perch the mermaid pondered
This job just had to be a joke!

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

As her perky ditties pointed
To the tourists on the boats
She could hear their raucous cries now
Reminding her of horny goats

This mermaid figured up her paycheck
While she smiled and waved and splashed
Wondering whether it would bounce, and
How quickly she could get it cashed

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

It was her second day on duty
She figured she could make the week
When suddenly one toady tourist
Had to have a closer peek

Our maiden sang so sweet and mild as
Her soggy suitor paddled forth
With a flourish at the chorus
Her tail sent him beneath the fjord

As her strong limb held him under
She sang to him in tones so round
"It was just that kind of business,"
"That drove Great Grandma to dry ground!"

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.

(spoken) One - Two - Three - Four,
Is that a dead seal in the fjord?

She wore an itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
When she perched on the fjord rocks today
An itsy bitsy scaley greeny
Fishy tail, but no bikini
And on those cold rocks was ordered to stay.


Cha-cha-cha!

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10 Jul 00 - 07:29 PM (#255400)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Bradypus

As we're in Hans Christian Andersen country (with mermaids, I know he wasn't Norwegian), we could try something like:

There once was a lonely mermaid
At Lyse Fjord on a rock
She lay at rest, and was bare of breast
Which came as quite a shock

Oh! She's bare! Look There! She's bare!
It came as quite a shock.

All through the summer
Working on an all-over tan
On a rock alone, skin a copper tone
Quite out of sight of man

Oh! She's wrong ! Not in this song!
She's right in sight of man!

All the boats and ships and cruisers
They came from miles around
But they kept so quiet, as was only right
To spy on what they'd found

Oh! That's good! She's in the nude
Keep hush, or away she'll bound

Then the summer ended
The mermaid swam away
And the voyeurs now are voyagers
Who will sail for many a day

It's hide and seek, no more free peeks
The mermaid's swam away!

(Well, it keeps the thread alive, at least !)

Bradypus

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10 Jul 00 - 07:43 PM (#255412)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Well done, Bradypus! (and I see we posted at the same time -- what's that old saw about great minds??)

Surely we've got a couple more 'bare-chested beauties' left in us?? Come on, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine

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10 Jul 00 - 07:48 PM (#255419)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Bradypus

Nice one yourself Aine - I loved the chorus !

Bradypus

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10 Jul 00 - 08:09 PM (#255429)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

I can already tell my drem tonite will be filled with:

" One - Two - Three - Four,
Is that a dead seal in the fjord?"

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10 Jul 00 - 11:43 PM (#255516)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

Mermaids In The Sky

As I was sailing down one evening to Lyse Fjord
The seawater was swirling, and washing overboard
I stood there in the darkness as the rocks went slowly by
When all at once I heard the song of mermaids in the sky

The school swam down the Lyse for as far as I could see
They all did their swimming within their salty lea
Each mermaid had a whistle, and as each one passed me by
I saw their sad expressions and I heard their mournful cry

Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky

Each one started singing upon the ocean crests
And each one had dark red hair dripping down their breast
They all held out their scaly arms with tears in their eyes
But I was fighting the call of the mermaids in the sky

Jump down to me, Jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky

I read of them in the stories and heard of them in song
Acalling out to doomed sailors in the setting sun
Now I saw their ghostly progress down the liquid avenue
I heard them crying for me and it chilled me through and through

Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky

The stars they were dying, as the ship sailed slowly on
I saw the mermaids diving as they vanished in the dawn
Calling out to each other, as the winds around me roared
They'll be singing out forever down the Lyse Fjord

Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky
Jump down to me, jump down to me, Oh mermaids in the sky

Amergin

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10 Jul 00 - 11:52 PM (#255521)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Ooooooh, spooky one there, Amergin -- I've got goosepimples all over me, don't I? And just what did Mummsy's little poppit drink from the drinkies cupboard when Mummsy turned her head tonight, mmmmm? Naughty, naughty, Amergin! ;-)

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11 Jul 00 - 01:09 AM (#255555)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Áine

Well, it looks as though we've exhausted our poor mermaid here, so I suppose it's time to mosey on to the next Challenge! But remember, dear Challenge!rs, no Challenge! is ever really over . . .

Here are your awards, and again, my cudos, congrats, and thanks for another great round of wonderful songs. Back pats and air kisses all round, eh?

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock:
A Mermaid On A Rock! by Mbo
The Little Breasted Mermaid (Bettered) by Naemanson
Mermaids In The Sky by Amergin
The Part-Time Mermaid by Scabby Doug

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
Mermaid? by MMario
Norwegian Woody by Dharmabum
She Sang of Old Ballinderry by Amergin
The Silkie and The Fause Mermaid by Bradypus
Ten Minutes Ago by MMario
There Once Was A Lovely Mermaid by Bradypus

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14 Jul 00 - 04:35 AM (#257498)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Spider Tom

Aine and all others,
A thousand apologies for my neglect of the song challenge but I am unable to devote the time I would like to just now so have been scarce, for this I am truely sorry.
I already have a mermaid of my own in a song and so I will introduce her to you all here.
Spider Tom, I still love you all ...Honest!


A GOOD LINE (C) Ken (Spider Tom) Robertson 29/10/1999.
One night, I was dreaming, and I woke up moaning,
I found a perfect stranger, there inside my bed.
I was thrown, in a panic, I'm just a broke mechanic,
So I tried to diagnose, the miss inside my head.

My thoughts were retrieving,the previous evening,
I had a recollection, of nothing much, at all
A bed-fellow delicious, or bed-fellow , vicious,
She sighed in her sleep, and turned to the wall.

I was never, ever fine, at a good pick up line,
And confusion,and stale wine, tortured my dull head,
This was no apparition, was she there, from my wishing,
Last night, I'd gone fishing, now a girl is in my bed.
.
Her grey eyes, gave a flutter, no word did she utter,
She flung back the blanket, and gave a little flail,
My eyes, started popping, my jaw, started flopping,
Instead of two long legs, she sported, a fish-tail.

What a wild, fish-story, there in her glory,
Was the finest of Mermaids, that fell, for a good line.
Should I seduce, or scale her, I was bound, to fail her,
My body still all droopy, from the bottles of wine.

She gave me a hurt look, showed me where my hook,
Had pierced her lower lip, said she felt the sting.
I said,"be mine, forever, I won't hurt you ever,
Your mouth is just adorable, I'll give you a lip-ring."

All things in life, are winnable, your chance, at best is probable.
And love becomes unstoppable, as passions rise and fall,
A mermaid, oh so fine, can be caught with a good line,
When providence devine, gives two hearts a call.

We now share a zacuzzi,she never was a floosie,
We were wedded, by the ocean, to the singing of the whales,
We fell, hook, line and sinker,and as I love to tinker,
She showed me how to get inside her scales.

I was never, ever fine, at a good pickup line,
"Luck", is a fisherman, I have often said.
This was no apparition, she was there from her wishing,
I've given up fishing, keep scaleing her instead.

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14 Jul 00 - 04:58 AM (#257502)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

Well, if you must know, Aine, I was out picking these funny tasting mushrooms in Mummsy's garden....

Spider Tom, that is a wonderful song. About your truancy though, well I forgive you. I understand about getting too busy, and I'm sure Old Aine and the others do too....or at least they better...Glad you're back...

Amergin

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14 Jul 00 - 08:44 AM (#257532)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: MMario

uh-oh! he used the "o" word.

Bradypus, gotta thank you, I've already sung your "Fause Mermaid" several times and working hard on getting it memorized so I can use it more...

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14 Jul 00 - 12:54 PM (#257677)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Amergin

Well, at least I didn't say ancient....

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14 Jul 00 - 06:54 PM (#257849)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Bradypus

No, MMario, I should thank you. (see personal message)

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17 Jul 00 - 05:52 AM (#259042)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Spider Tom

Dear Aine,
I thank you for the B.L.O.B.
and the words of praise but ESPECIALLLY for the spanking
I needed that such a disiplained hand you have.
Yes I would love you to put my song where ever you choose to fit it
Love you all,
Spider Tom

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01 Sep 01 - 04:16 PM (#539794)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Jack the Sailor

Mermaid for Tour Boats- Bonnie Raitt version

I am a young woman dressed like a mermaid.
I'm on a rock on a Norwegian fjord
It's kinda cold, wish I had a fire
With only my costume to keep keep me warm

I am a mermaid hired for the tour boats
Wearing a wig and a big floppy tail
When boats go by the men run to the rail
what a way to make a living, but the checks in the mail

I read of the mermaid in Copenhagen
That one and me are the only ones that I know
Just a statue, in the harbour she stands
I've never seen it but one day I'll go
She covers up... her nipples with hands.

There's fish in the water, I can hear them swimming
They're kinda pretty but I don't really care
I am kind of person goes to work in the morning
Covers her torso with nothing but hair

What a way to make a living, with out any clothes

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03 Sep 01 - 11:32 AM (#540766)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: Aidan Crossey

To the tune of "Greenland Whale Fisheries"

THE OSLO MERMAID
In nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine
July the twenty-fourth
We boarded
On a pleasure cruise
And from Oslo we set forth, brave boys
And from Oslo we set forth

The sun being high and the wind being low
I stood out on the deck
When the sight I saw
On the rocks below
Stopped me sudden in my tracks, brave boys
Stopped me sudden in my tracks

Her flowing hair, alluring breasts
Her nether parts all scales
A lady's face
A lady's waist
But below a fish's tail, brave boys
But below a fish's tail

To lure our ship on to the rocks
I feared it was her plan
So through the craft
Both fore and aft
In search of the captain bold I ran, brave boys
In search of the captain bold I ran

Oh captain bold I beg of you
Steer not towards the shore
A mermaid there
Has cast a snare
This boat, she plans, will sail no more, brave boys
This boat, she plans, will sail no more

The captain laughed and said, dear man
Don't frighten so, hear me
The creature you've seen
Is a local beauty queen
And not a siren of the sea, brave boys
Not a siren of the sea

Listen now to how she sings
Her voice is like a goat's
She croaks and she rasps
She wheezes and she gasps
No sailing man would dash his boat, brave boys
No sailing man would dash his boat

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24 May 05 - 03:23 AM (#1491752)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 32
From: GUEST,Magpie

By the way, the Lysefjord (pron. leeseh , the 'ee' pronounced with rounded lips like the 'y' in 'you'), is not in Oslo, but on the west coast. Oslo IS situated in a fjord, but that is the Oslo Fjord.
Easy to think that Norwegians are a bit funny for dressing up a 'girl' as a mermaid, and sitting her on a rock in a fjord, but what then about the tourists who literally jump ship to take a closer look? And yes, it is true.
Magpie

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