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Song Challenge! Part 34

18 Jul 00 - 03:50 PM (#260268)
Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Well, for a change from the outdoor themes of the Summer 2000 round of Challenge!s, here's one that Praise sent in to keep us on our toes. It's a 'sweet and sour' story that I'm sure will delight and amaze all you lovely Challenge!rs...Go for it!!

Sometimes I Feel Like Felon, Sometimes I Don't (Hurricane, Utah) - Inmate Brian McCluskey, serving a one-year jail sentence for attempted possession of methaphetamine, believed he had found heaven at the Purgatory Correctional Facility. A bag of M&Ms he earned for helping with chores at the jail was thought to be the million-dollar winner of a national contest.

Deputy Julie Pugmire gave the candy to McCluskey as a reward for helping her pass out commissary items. When he opened the bag, the 27-year-old found candies that were sky blue, white, purple - colors he'd never seen before. Other inmates told him he might have won M&Ms' "Fix-Up the Mix-Up" contest, which they had seen advertised on television.

Sheriff Kirk Smith told The Associated Press that he was sure that the inmate had won the contest. "We're confident he has the bag advertised as the winning bag. It was put in property then given to his wife."

But Mars Inc., said that only one of the bags has a game piece that identifies the winner. The million others get a 16 ounce bag of candy.

The bag was being kept in a safe-deposit box until it was authenticated. The Mars company later said that McCluskey wasn't the Grand Prize Winner after all -- only one of a million First Prize winners -- who only get a free bag of M&M's, not the million dollars McCluskey thought he'd won.

18 Jul 00 - 03:57 PM (#260275)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Mbo

I saw this one TV last week. Brian McCluskey said it pretty much "sucked" that he didn't win, but gave out warm and sportsman-like congratulations to the family of 5 who did win the cool million. Nice guy. Now if he'd only stay away from the junk.

--Mbo

18 Jul 00 - 09:36 PM (#260484)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Dharmabum

YOUR M&M's WON'T GET YOU OUT OF PRISON ANYMORE

{sung to John Prine's Flag Decal}

I was an inmate doing hard time,

In a place called Pergatory,

When I got a bag of candy,

From the prison deputy,

I opened it and looked inside,

And much to my surprise,

I thought I was a millionare,

I couldn't believe my eyes.

{chorus}

But your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore,

They won't get you any pardon,

Won't unlock that prison door,

You just stay & do your time son,

Just keep mopping up that floor,

Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore.

I ran down to the warden,

Said you gotta set me free,

I've just become a rich man,

I don't belong here don't you see,

I ain't suited for this lifestyle,

These stripes just ain't for me,

I should be sipping marguritas,

In the lap of luxury.

{ch}

The warden called the company,

Where the candy had come from,

I'm not the grand prize winner,

Out of a million I'm just one,

I'd gotten up all of my hopes,

That million would be handy,

But it looks like I'll be doing time,

With this crappy bag of candy.

{ch}

So it's back down to the cellblock,

With the convicts & the crooks,

And don't turn your back on Bubba,

When he's got those amorous looks,

My parole will come along someday,

And with a little bit of luck,

When I pull off my next caper,

I'm gonna steal me an M&M's truck.

Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore,

They won't get you any pardon,

Won't unlock that prison door,

You just stay & do your time son,

Just keep mopping up that floor,

Cause your M&M's won't get you out of prison anymore.

19 Jul 00 - 03:23 AM (#260613)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: zonahobo

You are truly an mm master dharmabum! One of my favorite songs too! I think these challenges offer the best of all that Mudcat has to offer. Thanks Aine for keeping them rolling!

19 Jul 00 - 08:12 AM (#260658)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Hyperabid

Tres Vrai dharmabum!

Hyp

19 Jul 00 - 10:17 AM (#260712)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Leave it to Dharmabum to start off this Challenge! with a bang! Way to go -- and you also win a Silver B.L.O.B. for:

I'd gotten up all of my hopes,
That million would be handy,
But it looks like I'll be doing time,
With this crappy bag of candy.

Well done, indeed!

-- Áine

19 Jul 00 - 01:23 PM (#260842)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

don't ask me how my subconscious dragged this up, 'cause I don't know....but here it is...

CANDY COLOURED SHELL

I'm doing my time in my candy coloured shell
Brought it on myself, which I know so very well
And it doesn't make no never mind, what's goin' on outside
Because the truth is only here, within my mind

In my candy coloured shell, here I curl just like a snail
All the colours of the rainbow shining in my mucus trail
I wanted all the pleasures, wanted others for to pay
And that's why I only have these many shades of gray

I thought I had a million bucks, but I only got a pound
The knock of oppurtunity made but a hollow sound
And the sunshine through the crystal makes an insubstantial sign
Because the truth is only here within my mind

In my candy coloured shell, here I curl just like a snail
All the colours of the rainbow shining in my mucus trail
I wanted all the pleasures, wanted others for to pay
And that's why I only have these many shades of gray

I thought I had found Heaven, in my candy coated shell
But if this is truly Heaven why is Virgil then my guide?
I cannot pass beyond these walls I know so very well
And the truth is only here within my mind

In my candy coloured shell, here I curl just like a snail
All the colours of the rainbow shining in my mucus trail
I wanted all the pleasures, wanted others for to pay
And that's why I only have these many shades of gray

19 Jul 00 - 01:52 PM (#260865)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Oh Leo, I only hope that you have a tune for that fantastic song! You are just getting better and better at this songwriting stuff, you know -- Thank you so much for your evocative entry . . . any chance that we could hear that on the Mudcat Radio soon? Please, please, please??

-- Áine

19 Jul 00 - 01:53 PM (#260867)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Dharmabum

So YOU are the walrus,eh MMario? I LIKE it.

koo koo ka choo, Ron.

19 Jul 00 - 02:03 PM (#260879)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

there is a tune rattlin' round my head, but it's not a "standard". will see if I can pin it down and get it to cooperate.

I am a whale. ask my family. Though my nephew did once give me this plaster walrus for Christmas that ('struth!) looks like me...

19 Jul 00 - 02:24 PM (#260908)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

oops - last verse should be...

I thought I had found Heaven, in my candy coated shell
But I cannot pass beyond these walls I know so very well
If this is truly Heaven why is Virgil then my guide?
And the truth is only here within my mind

19 Jul 00 - 06:34 PM (#261106)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Dear MMario,

You inspired to write a song with a moral(?) -- I hope you guys like it:

Sometimes I Feel Like A Felon, Sometimes I Don't
(Tune: Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ra)

Well, the guard she gave me candy,
For handing out some chips,
And when I opened up the bag,
There was joy upon my lips,
For the first time in my life now
I thought I'd won the prize,
And the sheriff wished me good luck,
But the warden's words were lies.

In the bag were blues and purples,
Wrapped around the chocolate parts,
And a game piece that said, "Winner!",
That thrilled my convict heart,
Then the warden, he said, "Trust me,"
"Put your treasure in my safe."
I looked in his eyes, but all I saw,
Was a friendly, smiling face.

Well, he called my wife and told her,
"There's a million to be had."
"But it's up to you, sweet Jenny,"
"What will happen to your lad."
She said, "Go and call the papers,"
"While I dig out my passport,"
"And we'll spend all his money,"
"Before I take him into court."

Well, the warden went on vacation,
On the day I was to win,
And my lawyer came, what a surprise,
Still I waited with a grin,
But when the steel door opened,
Melted chocolate filled the floor,
Handing me the summons, the lawyer said,
"Now you're single, but still poor!"

As I sit here reading postcards,
From the warden and my wife,
I know that crime it doesn't pay,
And that greed can change your life,
Oh my sides are sore from laughing,
For my plan it did not fail,
See, those fools are stuck with each other now,
But, I'll soon be out of jail!

19 Jul 00 - 08:47 PM (#261236)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *owwwwwwwwwwwww!* I LOVE it!

19 Jul 00 - 09:33 PM (#261275)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Glad ya liked it, my darlin' MMario - ;-)

-- Áine

20 Jul 00 - 11:08 AM (#261550)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

20 Jul 00 - 11:23 AM (#261561)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

c'mon people, this one has everything, chocolate, prison, money, greed, advertising, sex (want candy prisoner?) something for everyone!!!!

20 Jul 00 - 11:54 AM (#261578)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Dharmabum

Aine I humbly hand over my SILVER BLOB to you,exellent my dear! Ron.

20 Jul 00 - 12:06 PM (#261585)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Dear Ron,

Surrender of your precious Silver B.L.O.B. is not necessary -- how 'bout if I just hold it for a while and then give it back (hehehehehe)?

-- Áine

20 Jul 00 - 12:33 PM (#261601)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Dharmabum

You get it mon,wed,& fri. I'll take it tues,thur, & sat. Ron.

20 Jul 00 - 12:58 PM (#261618)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Amergin

Here goes nothing:

Just One More Bag

Hello hello hello, is there anybody home
I've only called to say I won it!!
I opened up my bag
And I began to brag
That I won a million bucks

Once I knew I lived outside, using the drugs
Until I got busted for buying
Now the ashes of the dream
can be found in the prison scheme
But now I won a million bucks

I sat within the cell, I helped the prison guard
Then she gave to me a bag of candy
Then they locked it in a safe
Cause the cell is unsafe
And it seems I won a million bucks

The Mars men they were here, they came inside the door
They told me I might be the winner
Then all to my surprise
They took away my prize
And it seems I just get one more bag

A tear was in my eye, as I beat upon the wall
The flesh of my fist smacked loudly
Then a family of five
Won the million prize
And it seems I just get one more bag

Now I'm sitting in my cell, waiting for my prize
A big pound bag of M&Ms
I love the candy shells
As I lie in my prison cell
And it seems I just get one more bag

Amergin

20 Jul 00 - 03:23 PM (#261651)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Dear Amergin -- Is your song a 'blues' song? Boy, it sure reads like one! Wow -- that's a hung my head and cried song if I ever saw one...wiping the tears from my eyes now...sniff. Just so you won't be too depressed after writing that, here's a Silver B.L.O.B. for:

A tear was in my eye, as I beat upon the wall
The flesh of my fist smacked loudly
Then a family of five
Won the million prize
And it seems I just get one more bag

-- Áine

20 Jul 00 - 04:00 PM (#261666)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Amergin

First, there's a correction to be made...

The first line of the second stanza should be:"Once I lived outside" instead of "Once I knew I lived outside".

Secondly, Aine, the tune is Phil Ochs' "No More Songs". Glad you liked it.:)

Amergin

20 Jul 00 - 04:57 PM (#261707)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: McGrath of Harlow

Easy come and easy go,
here in prison life is slow.
Thought for once that I had won -
still when all is said and done,
it's easy come and easy go.

Candy comes in many colours,
mine was mostly blue.
They said I won a million dollars
- things like that ain't true.
Coloured dreams like candy melting,
Dreams of freedom, time worth spending
Dreams of home and happy endings.
Things like that ain't true.
Easy come and easy go,
here in prison life is slow.
Thought for once that I had won -
still when all is said and done,
it's easy come and easy go.

Win a prize, you keep on winning,
that's so straight and clear,
If I'd won, I'd soon be running,
I'd be out of here.
Clever lawyers turn you loose,
Money is the best excuse,
In the end it's "Free the Juice"
- Yes, I'd be out of here.
Easy come and easy go,
here in prison life is slow.
Thought for once that I had won -
still when all is said and done,
it's easy come and easy go.

Just a bag of coloured candy,
guess it makes you fat,
Rots your teeth, so sweet and dandy,
nothing more than that.
Breaks your heart if you just let them,
better still, just go forget them
Guess I wish I'd simply ate them,
nothing more than that.
Easy come and easy go,
here in prison life is slow.
Thought for once that I had won -
still when all is said and done,
it's easy come and easy go.

20 Jul 00 - 05:44 PM (#261744)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Hi Kevin!! It's always great to see you put in an entry. A wonderful, thoughtful song you've done, too. And just to encourage you to come back more often (please), you are hereby awarded Two Silver B.L.O.B.s (best line o' bull) for:

Coloured dreams like candy melting,
Dreams of freedom, time worth spending
Dreams of home and happy endings.
Things like that ain't true.

AND

Clever lawyers turn you loose,
Money is the best excuse,
In the end it's "Free the Juice"
- Yes, I'd be out of here.

Of course, the chorus is worth another B.L.O.B.; but, well, I can't be seen to be playing favourites now, can I? ;-)

-- Áine

20 Jul 00 - 08:52 PM (#261890)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

go ahead...make him the first tri-b.l.o.b. winner - he deserves it

21 Jul 00 - 08:19 AM (#262048)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: GUEST,saravana bharathi

TITLE: I WANT TO CRY.

BY P. SARAVANA BHARATHI SERVAI e-mail id :s77s2000@yahoo.com {if any body likes this song and wants more please do not hesitate to bring it to my notice[e-mail me]}

I WANT TO CRY

I don't know why I want to cry. Is it because you Left me tonight Let us meet in another world Where you will understand my love, Day and night I hope to hold to you tight Silly my hopes, "will you understand my plight?"

I don't know why I want to cry Is it because you Left me tonight

Trying are my times with killing days ahead Come back my love, take out a knife Stab me to life only then will u find What oozes out is blood not but wine I want to cry I now know why It is because yet I have not parted with my life. BY P.SARAVANA BHARATHI SERVAI.

21 Jul 00 - 10:08 AM (#262102)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Dear Saravana,

That's an interesting bit of poetry. However, this isn't the right thread for it. If you'd like to write a song about the topic in the very first message of this thread, and post it here, that would be great. We're always looking for new Challenge!rs to join us. Click here for the 'Additions to the Mudcat Songbook' thread. That thread is where you could post your song.

Great good luck to you, Áine

21 Jul 00 - 07:30 PM (#262414)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: McGrath of Harlow

I WANT TO CRY

I don't know why I want to cry.
Is it because you left me tonight
Let us meet in another world
Where you will understand my love,
Day and night
I hope to hold to you tight
Silly my hopes,
"Will you understand my plight?"

I don't know why I want to cry
Is it because you Left me tonight

Trying are my times with killing days ahead
Come back my love, take out a knife
Stab me to life only then will you find
What oozes out is not blood but wine
I want to cry
I now know why
It is because yet I
have not parted with my life.

BY P.SARAVANA BHARATHI SERVAI.

(I know this is a Song Challenge thread, but all threads have drift, don't they? I put in the line breaks because it makes it easier to see how a song works. Come back and register, P.Saravana and join the Mudcat circle.)

22 Jul 00 - 12:26 PM (#262713)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Just popping this up to the top again, just in case a couple of you Challenge!rs have a song or two to give us...

-- Áine

22 Jul 00 - 03:49 PM (#262736)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Dharmabum

I thought it might be time for a country western tearjerker.

I HELD YOU NEAR MY HEART {but you melted in my hand}

almost any cw tune will do.

I'm tossin & I'm turnin,

And I'm tryin to do my best,

But the clanging sound of prison doors,

Just keeps me from my rest,

And that lightbulb in the hallway,

Casts a shadow on the floor,

I got 20 years & lost my name,

Now I'm inmate 224.

I've had bad luck & trouble,

Since the day that I was born,

My daddy ran a dirt farm,

And drank liquor squeezed from corn,

My Ma & Pa were cousins,

Twice removed or so they say,

I got hooked on methamphetimine,

That's why I'm here today.

{chorus}

I got a bag of M&Ms,

Just the other day,

And inside was the grand prize,

That Mars was givin way,

You tell me it melts in my mouth,

That's why I can't unerstand,

I held my prize close to my heart,

And it melted in my hand.

I miss the way you'd hold me,

When we'd ride around at night,

Cause the pickup had no seatbelts,

So you had to hold on tight,

I was runnin her on retreads,

The brakes were OK more or less,

But when we hit that candy truck,

It made a chocolate mess.

We were plannin to get married,

But you're dead now so we can't,

And I miss you almost half as much,

As the boys down at the plant,

And I feel just like a peanut,

In a candy coated shell,

But instead of meltin in your mouth,

I'm sittin in this cell.

{chorus}

I got a bag of M&Ms,

Just the other day,

And inside was the grand prize,

That Mars was givin way,

You tell me it melts in my mouth,

That's why I can't understand,

I held my prize close to my heart,

And it melted in my hand.

Yea I held my prize close to my heart,

And....it....melted....in....my....hand.

Goodnight all you buckaroos & buckarettes.

22 Jul 00 - 04:10 PM (#262746)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

ROTFLMAO!!! That is a definite Song Challenge! and/or Cow Chip Country Classic, Dharmabum!!! The whole song deserves a Silver B.L.O.B., but here's my personal pick:

We were plannin to get married,
But you're dead now so we can't,
And I miss you almost half as much,
As the boys down at the plant

Wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful!!!

-- Áine

23 Jul 00 - 11:25 AM (#263023)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

Well, we've had this Challenge! up for a few days, and even though we've got a short list of winners this time, cudos, congrats and thanks to those who wrote the songs. If you have a song you'd still like to enter, remember Rule 16(c)ii(4.a)b of the Official Song Challenge! Manual -- A Challenge! Is Never Over -- So, here are the winners for Part 34, and mucho beaucoups thanks to each of you:

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
Candy Coloured Shell by MMario
Easy Come And Easy Go by McGrath of Harlow
Just One More Bag by Amergin
Your M&Ms Won't Get You Out Of Prison Anymore by Dharmabum

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest:
I Held You Near My Heart (But You Melted In My Hand) by Dharmabum

23 Jul 00 - 05:49 PM (#263172)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: wysiwyg

ALWAYS PLAN FOR THE FUTURE

I had me a handful
Of sweet little dreams
But they were taken, they vanished it seems.
Yes they were all swallowed up
By the saints of Purgatory
While outside, a Hurricane raged around.

REFRAIN:
And a handful of lies is all I hold now
As I pour out my tale in this rag.

Like spots of pure magic,
Colors danced in my mind.
Thought I might be a winner for they say Fortune's blind.
But only the taste
Of chocolate remains
As I'm left, again, holding the bag.

(refrain)

Yes blind she may be
But Dame Fortune's no fool
Should have known that on me she'd not smile.
Guess I'll just hunker down
In my bunk here inside--
And hang on around for awhile.

(refrain)

Yes I'd say Purgatory's
The right place for me,
As I consider what Life's had me learn.
Attempting possession,
Whether meth or pure gold,
Either way, it's not long till you're burned.

(refrain)

And when I am finished
With my stay in this cell,
When I leave and breathe sweet freedom's air.
Well tell the prole board
It won't be Heaven quite yet,
It's in the eye of old Hurricane I'll be.

(refrain)

Jailor Julie I'll punish
For raising my hopes--
She will lie in a chocolate grave.
I will coat her remains
With a thin candy shell
In thanks for the kindness she gave.

(refrain)

Then after I've passed
Through Hurricane's eye
Think I'll stop off at Mars on my way.
Heaven bound or to hell,
I got something to say,
How their contest just made my whole day.

(refrain)

... How thier contest just made... my whole... day.....

23 Jul 00 - 06:52 PM (#263202)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Bradypus

Tune is 'Any Dream Will Do', from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.

M&M's Will Do

I close my eyes, there are no curtains
For I'm in prison, and I'm feeling blue
I try to sleep, I lie reclining
For chocolate I'm pining
M&M's will do

I wake next morn, and get my ration
Chocolate's my passion, the jailer knew
I open the bag, my hand is shaking
My fix I'm taking
M&M's will do

A crash of drums
A flash of light
My M&M's, a wondrous sight
Colours never seen before
What am I to do ?

There is a prize for such a packet
But it's a racket, you need a game piece too
My M&M's are in safe keeping
But I'm not sleeping
Until this thing is through

But never mind, I'm still a winner
The prize is thinner than I thought my due
Still sixteen ounce of finest candy
Will come in handy
M&M's will do!

Give me my M&M's
My amazing M&M's
Give me more M&M's
Those amazing M&M's

24 Jul 00 - 09:43 AM (#263463)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: MMario

See? Close the contest and you always get a couple of incedible late entries.....

wunnerful, wunnerful!

24 Jul 00 - 10:24 AM (#263486)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Áine

I'll just say 'ditto' to what MMario said!

Praise, here's a Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster for Always Plan For The Future and a Silver B.L.O.B. for:

Attempting possession,
Whether meth or pure gold,
Either way, it's not long till you're burned.

And Bradypus, you've also got a Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster coming for M&Ms Will Do and a Silver B.L.O.B. for these lines (which hit home in a choco-junky's soul):

Chocolate's my passion, the jailer knew
I open the bag, my hand is shaking
My fix I'm taking
M&M's will do

Well done, both of you!!

-- Áine

24 Jul 00 - 12:01 PM (#263569)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: wysiwyg

*curtsey*

01 Sep 01 - 05:23 PM (#539822)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Jack the Sailor

THe first response to this challenge was a John Prine song as was my entry for the Mermaid one. So this one is pure fate!

Sam Stone John Prine

Brian McCluskey got busted, for trying to buy some methaphetamine
And the time that he served wasn't too bad on his nerves
distributing the treats from the canteen
But the M&M's were strange and he gained a lot of fame
As the prisoner who won a million bucks
And his wife thought they were finaly in luck

There's a Safe deposit box for Brian's M&M's
Special amoured boxes are surrounding them
Little candies have big prize, don't think about the lies
That advertisers tell to make you think you'll win mmm mmmm Brian McCluskey he trusted the people who all said.
It looks like you are in for better times
And Brian was surprised when they told hime that his prize
Was just another bag of candy and not a dime
So the dream past through his fingers, but the memory still lingers He sit around his jailcell and he pouts
How it melted through his hands and not his mouth

There's a Safe deposit box for Brian's M&M's
The prize is another bag just like them
You'd think hed got the hint, or reread the fine print
Before spending hard earned money for the rent mmm mmmm Brian McCluskey was frustrated when he open up a Coke,
It said that a million bucks was won
Well he thought he'd smelled a trap so he buttoned up his trap
and waited til his turn to use the phone
So he called again his wife and said upon my life
I looks like another market scam, what kind of fool do these folks think I am.

There's a garbage dump in Utah, Hurricane
Where a million bucks lies waiting unclaimed
Don't let them get you twice was his good wife's advice
Throw it out, serve you time and things will be the same mmm mmmm

04 Sep 01 - 06:48 AM (#541393)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 34
From: Aidan Crossey

Here's another John Prine parody!

This one parodies "Christmas In Prison"

I'M GOING STRAIGHT (TO HELL)
It was Christmas in prison, the food was real good
The warden said "Fellas, when you finish your pud
Those who've made progress, who haven't been slack
Shall get them a gift from Santa's ol' sack"

CHORUS
Wait a while, eternity
One million dollars is waiting for me
Come to me, run to me
Jeez, I can't wait
When I get out of prison
I'm goin' straight

When I opened my present, I thought it a joke
A packet of candies, a bottle of Coike
But I've never been one to relinquish a treat
So I sucked down that Coke and I opened the sweets

CHORUS

To my amazement and to my delight
Those candies were coloured in shades that weren't right
And I knew from some adverts, recently aired
That meant I that was a millionaire

CHORUS

But oh, lamentation, misery and woe
I submitted my claim and Mars answered "No"
My dreams they were dashed, when I finish my time
I'll have to return to my past life of crime

CHORUS

30 May 12 - 01:09 AM (#3357107)
Subject: RE: Song Challenge! Part 34
From: GUEST,Deputy Julia Pugmire

That was pretty funny... Except for the part where you said something about Sex in relation to candy. As I was the one who gave the M & M's to him, I don't appreciate that. I am always professional. It may be funny to you, but not me. I liked the rest of it though. I realize that this was years ago, but it's my professional law enforcement reputation. Oh, and as a side note... Inmate Mckluskey unfortunately died of an overdose last year.