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23 Jul 00 - 01:43 PM (#263079) Subject: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy Are there any, nowadays? Are they age-specific? Gender-specific? I mean things like who calls whom when and how long you wait before calling back and all that stuff that I've always understood to matter to Americans, from film and literature and listening to friends. At what point can you ask which personal questions? And so on. When I was a teenager and young adult overseas, I was in francophone places where dating rules were basically n/a, as people went out in groups, and couples formed and dissolved without all the hoohaw (as I perceived it) of American dating. So culturally, Americans are "not my tribe" and I feel as if I don't now the steps of my own species' mating dance.... As those of you who know me will surmise, I've gone from being Bummed (thanks in no small part to some of you!) to wondering how to go about what is next. I've never been a single adult in the US before... any information on the appropriate tribal rituals would be very much appreciated! |
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23 Jul 00 - 01:54 PM (#263089) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Sorcha Mrz, it's been 27 years since I was in the dating game, so I really don't know. Daughter Kate, 15, goes "out" with only 1 boy at a time, but it is serial monogomy. Each one seems to last less than 2 months. She has LOTS of male "buds", and everybody calls everybody."Hanging Out" in large groups seems acceptable, too. I don't know about sexual mores, anymore, and probably don't want to know..........(*BG*)Try just doing what you feel comfortable with, and glad you are feeling better! |
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23 Jul 00 - 01:58 PM (#263096) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall at my age, we have thrown all that gobbledegook out the window. I only date intelligent, independent women who firmly believe they are not bound by silly rules such as, Girls dont call boys.What a crock. If a woman doesn't call me, I surmise that she doesn't want to, because,if she does want to and fails to, she lacks the spunk that I find attractive. So, it wouldn't work anyway. Yes, I have been approached many times, and, I ALSO have the right to say, "No thanks." I'll tell you this much, women take rejection a hell of a lot harder than men do. Actually, my only problem is..I'm only attracted to interesting, independent women with high IQ's. The thing is, if they are smart enough to be attractive to me, they are also smart enough to avoid me! |
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23 Jul 00 - 03:39 PM (#263135) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. kendall, if you think women take rejection harder than men, you have obviously been way too successful for your own good. Mrrzy, according to a therapist friend of mine, money (how much you make or have), honestly discussed, is the last great taboo. Not having been a subject that ever interested me, I can't comment. The big absolutely unbreakable rule (all of my women friends have written this in lipstick on their foreheads) is NEVER NEVER say after the first date that you will phone the lady if you don't intend to. Say anything else: even say you are joining the French Foreign Legion. Do not promise to phone and don't. yours, Peter T. |
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23 Jul 00 - 03:48 PM (#263139) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Liz the Squeak I'll go with that - never make promises you don't intend to keep, height of bad manners and that. And don't forget, there are women out there who are just after a bit of gratuitous sex too. Men don't have the monopoly on that! Be honest, but don't declare all your intentions at once though, leave something for him to find out the next time.... Always make a friend first. That way, they quite often remain your friends after the gratuitous sex.... Plus you get to meet their freinds and that can lead anywhere! US rules are not written in stone, if you mention your previous lifestyle, you may get a nibble.... UK rules aren't - girls call guys, and vice versa (that's guys calling girls, rather than girls calling girls but hey, it's nearly the 21st Century.... go with it!) LTS |
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23 Jul 00 - 04:08 PM (#263144) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: jayohjo Wasn't there some book out in America called 'The Rules'? Or is that an urban myth? Full of tips on how to manipulate your man into proposing, etc. Any Americans wnt to inform me, correct me, whatever? jayohjo XX |
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23 Jul 00 - 04:27 PM (#263151) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall A good way out is to say "We really dont have much in common do we?" notice the use of "WE" instead of "YOU" |
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23 Jul 00 - 04:54 PM (#263158) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall Liz...name one!! |
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23 Jul 00 - 05:33 PM (#263168) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL I have at least two copies of the Rules here (both gifts) and anyone who wants them is welcome to them - a pile of crap. As I remember, one rule is NEVER to be the first to speak to a man on the street. I got a lecture from a firm Rule's believer for saying Good Morning to the super. She said it was unfeminine. Also, NEVER go out without fresh lipstick on. yesterday's undies are OK just don't forget the lipstick.
Kendall,
Mrrzy, |
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23 Jul 00 - 05:59 PM (#263177) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy OK, then, thanks so far but I obviously need many, many more data... but en attendant, let's try the follow-up question about rebound relationships - do they ever last, or should they always be regarded as the bridge from {whatever drove you nuts about the prior one} to (achieving the state of not putting being with somebody above whom you're with}? My experience is #2, but I've never even come close to such a, well, eligible (to use a quaint unfashionable term) rebound...And what makes it follow-up is, are the Rules, or species-specific ritualistic courtship behaviors, whatever they are, different when on the rebound, or just one's priorities? |
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23 Jul 00 - 06:33 PM (#263190) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: mg I think in this day and age you can't assume the other person is on the same page as you in these matters so you probably shouldn't go to far down the primrose path without declaring your intentions and finding out what his/hers are....and don't lead anyone on to thinking there is hope for marriage if that is not your desire or that intermediate relationships are o.k. with you if you really want marriage...and don't be afraid to say the word marriage if that is what you want...it's not clear whether you are male or female from your name but either way after a couple of casual dates be forthright and heck with those who don't like that.. mg |
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23 Jul 00 - 06:38 PM (#263193) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST as far as I know - the only 'rule' that matters is honesty if I met someone who was upset because i did something that wasn't the 'done thing' - well I don't think i'd ever go out with someone like that Chill out, be yourself and be happy |
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23 Jul 00 - 06:40 PM (#263194) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU Remember that commercial that used to come on TV, where the guy & girl are on a date, and she wants to know what his intentions are? And he pulls out an easel, a pointer, and charts that show his current salary, his income increase over the last 5 years, etc. and a computerized image of what their children might look like. It's hilarious! --Matt |
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23 Jul 00 - 06:53 PM (#263203) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Irish sergeant I'm likely not going to be much help. I haven't dated in quite some tiime. I like being marrid to my wife. Above all else, be honest. Mutual respect is also imperitive other than that, I thought the rules disappeared. Nobody veer tells me anything... Neil |
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23 Jul 00 - 07:08 PM (#263209) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST hey Sinsull..what did I say to earn the label, "Arrogant Bastard?" |
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23 Jul 00 - 07:09 PM (#263210) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,kendall thats arrogant s.o.b... |
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23 Jul 00 - 07:11 PM (#263214) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST kendall, being arrogant is probably the main reason... |
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23 Jul 00 - 08:43 PM (#263251) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall thats just a word..explain.. |
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23 Jul 00 - 11:14 PM (#263294) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: DougR After 48 years of marriage, and one year of widowhood (if that's a word)I find that I am a bit apprehensive. I cannot even imagine starting over as we did it in the 1950s. Some of you may wonder why anyone at my age would even bother, but one does wish for someone to be with, to communicate and even love, even at an advanced age. A few moments after being told that my wife died, I turned to my son and said, "My life has totally changed." I never knew how much it would. I'm scared to death to get back into the dating game and all the games people play. However, I'm gonna do it! DougR |
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23 Jul 00 - 11:21 PM (#263298) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Sorcha For Doug--perhaps the best thing for you is just to let it come naturally, and not go "looking" for it. I know many people who have re-married very happily well into their 90's. I know others, including my Mom, who could not envision EVER being that intimate with anyone ever again. Good luck, both of you. |
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23 Jul 00 - 11:51 PM (#263310) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: alison Good luck Doug, My Mum died 6 years ago... and my Dad (early 60's)was so lonely... he didn't want anything complicated... just a friend that he could go places with so he didn't have to walk into places on his own, (all his other friends were couples).... he didn't go looking for someone but just started to go to social things.. like bowling clubs etc.... and he has met up with a lovely lady, (actully I have known her since I was a kid).... and they are having a great time.. started as friendship and built from there... he is so happy and I am delighted for him.... yes there are others who say, he should still be mourning... but... my mum isn't coming back and he has a lot of his life still to live (God willing)... and I want him to be happy... and I'm sure my mum would have wanted him to be happy too.... slainte alison |
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23 Jul 00 - 11:52 PM (#263311) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: DougR Sorcha: The more I thought about my posting, the more I realized that it really had nothing to do with the original question. I apologize to the mudcat family because it really doesn't. In response to the actual question: I haven't the foggiest! DpugR |
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24 Jul 00 - 01:52 AM (#263356) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Joe Offer Yeah, Doug, but what you had to say was good, so don't worry about it. Well, heck, I've been single for over 7 years now, and I've been through three major romances since my divorce, but I sure haven't got the rules figured out. I got summarily dumped in May and I think it may be worse than a divorce - when you get divorced, you usually aren't madly in love. This was the first time I got involved with somebody I hadn't known before. I thought I followed the rules pretty well. Guess I should have read the writing on the wall. It seemed everything was wonderful, but she never seemed to be able to include me in her plans beyond next Tuesday. I wanted to buy season tickets to the summer theater, but couldn't get her to make a decision on that. Oh, well. If at first you don't succeed... -Joe- |
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24 Jul 00 - 02:38 AM (#263370) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin I saw one of the authors of "The Rules" interviewed a few years ago on TV, and was disgusted. That book is a lesson in how to be manipulative. I much rather date women who treat men with kindness and honesty instead of according to those absurd rules. As for general rules for dating, I really don't have any, except my general rule of treating people with the respect that I would want to be treated with, and of not playing manipulative mind games. I go by the particular person and situation when figuring out the other stuff, such as until how late in the evening to call, how close or far to the screen to sit in a theatre, how soon, if at all, does it get romantic and sexual. I've seen various reactions from women when I offered to walk them to their car at night. Some are pleased with that, others have refused the offer with everything from laughter to disdain, so what one does during a date has to be worked out according to the situation. Call me old-fashioned, but I will continue to offer women an escort to their cars at night, because it's what I believe a man should offer (Well, I guess that's a rule). But if the woman doesn't want that, I wouldn't press the issue. Lastly, from what I've seen of men and women, and in my own experience, I don't agree that women take rejection harder than men. |
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24 Jul 00 - 02:43 AM (#263371) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Sorcha Doug, see Joe's post, and alison's just after mine. I couldnt agree more. And NEVER apologize for Thread Creep!! Just do an ALERT!! LOL! |
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24 Jul 00 - 07:57 AM (#263427) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall key phrase here..mind games..I refuse to engage in any kind of silly dance. And, it has been my experience that grown women dont like them either. No my friends, the most important of all is honesty. You need not be brutal, just honest. But, people, being different, you will still, on occasion, encounter someone who really cant handle honesty. Then you might be accused of being ARROGANT! |
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24 Jul 00 - 08:56 AM (#263438) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Mrrzy, the other thing I should mention, if you haven't headed out yet, is that it is very hard to get dates period when you get into your 40's, however great you may be -- I have no idea how old you are -- unless you have a very, very active extroverted social life. This is a sociological fact you have to put up with, and nothing personal. The easy opportunities provided by university or whatever dry up -- partly because all your friends now tend to be married, so the floating "hanging out with" population of potential partners of the other sex disappears, and there are complications about dating people at work. This is the major complaint of my unmarried acquaintances, male and female, beautiful, rich, and not quite so beautiful and rich! yours, Peter T. |
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24 Jul 00 - 09:29 AM (#263457) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. As it has been pointed out above in different ways, the rules seem to be mostly about either manipulating or allowing oneself to be manipulated. Neither appeals to me. I don't play games and don't like to be around those who do. As to the subject of rebounds: I am unaware of what the time frame is for labeling a post-relationship, relationship a rebound. Two months? Two years? I think it is all about where your head is when you find someone who interests you. A truly awesome experience is to find someone who will stay beside you while you figure out where your head is at. I have learned that while honesty is a great thing to share, it works even better when your partner (or potential partner) is in agreement (i.e., not put off or intimidated) with one great principle: Ask for what you want.
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24 Jul 00 - 09:32 AM (#263458) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: RichM When my wife died, in our 12th year of marriage, I figured that, at 42 I was too old and set in my ways to be serious with someone again....
The first person I dated afterwards,caused me a real problem: I fell madly in love with her. In fact, I told her that I wanted to live with and for her, for the rest of my life. She was shocked- and a bit panicked.
I told her it was alright if she didn't feel the same way, but that I wanted to be honest. As you can see, my dating skills were rusty.
She didn't stay my girlfriend for very long.
By the way, she didn't stay as girlfriend because,8 months later, I married her--and she's still around 15 years later. My wife, best friend, and musical partner. |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:13 AM (#263476) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Midchuck You have no idea how lucky this thread makes me feel, that I have held onto one woman for 33 years of marriage and 4 or 5 years of "dating" before that. I already felt lucky. This just made me feel more so. If she leaves now, or something happens to her, I don't think I'd even bother. Maybe go into sheep ranching. Peter. |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:22 AM (#263482) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Amos Peter, you stay away from them sheep!!!
I have no right to an opinion, but I will disregard that to offer this thought. Every connection between two people is an ongoing created thing, and doing by prefabricated rule-sets is already a risk. It starts to fade the moment it is no longer being created,on an ongoing basis. The only rules I can think of that work are (a) be honest (b) be kind (c) be willing for the other person to be who they really are and (d) be willing to experience anything evolving in the relationship (meaning, don't have hard and fast expectations about how it "should" be). The less opinionation and the more live communication, the more eternal the relationship becomes, IMHO. regards, Amos |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:26 AM (#263487) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Grab Not sure what Kendall said to get flamed. Hey, if he's been approached by some lass trying to pick _him_ up, he's said no thanks and she's got all huffy, then that's a valid bit of info. Can't say that generalising for all women is valid, but anyway. A couple of my friends at uni were 'predatory' girls, and I have to say they'd have been surprised at getting turned down. Interested to hear about the Rules. I saw a thing about it on TV, and I was halfway between being pissing myself laughing and getting angry. In the UK we have something similar called Debrett's, which gives rules on etiquette (how to fold a napkin, even how to eat fruit!) which gets a similar reaction. I have to say, if the ppl thinking these Rules are so shallow they think men will only be attracted to surface stuff like that, then they're very sad. It may actually be a plan for finding someone for casual sex - surface stuff is fine for that - but for a relationship you can forget it. Grab. |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:36 AM (#263497) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Mrr-sans-cookie Midchuck, I'm glad for you - truly! Reminds me of when we used to take our twins out when they were small, to restaurants and suchlike, and people struggling with their one child would all suddenly feel SO much better that at least they only had one! DougR, best of luck - what I did was join the Alliance Française here in Cville, where I have met several nice people, including the one who sparked my starting this thread. Who had basically joined the same club for the same reason, to meet people. This is also one of the reasons I joined the Mudcat - I'd never joined a social club before, and wanted a "dry run" - and I liked the people I've "met" "here" so much, it gave me the courage to join this other club where I'd actually have to see people, and have them see me. I think the Mudcat just helped me relax when attempting, for the first time in 10+ years, to develop any friendship outside my large family or small firm. Another Reason Why The Mudcat Is For Me. However, although I thank you all for your advice and wish I dared follow it, I still have fear of honesty, because it is definitely my experience that Americans are weird and puritanical (IN GENERAL, THOSE I'VE MET, HEDGE HEDGE HEDGE - I SAID MY "EXPERIENCE") about s*x. And if I come out of that closet and let the other person know just how very very much I'd like to jump straight in the sack and figure the rest of it out later, the other will run away in fear. So I do find myself being cagey... since I don't consider it dishonest to hide SOME of one's feelings... I haven't lied about anything yet, I just avoid asking anything that smacks of assuming anything for the future ("taking for granted") despite the fact that I DO assume - is that dishonest? Not in my ethos - what about yours? And I have to find out if this one sings or plays or anything - I already know about the gourmet cooking AND NO YOU CAN'T, HANDS OFF THIS ONE PLEASE! |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:57 AM (#263511) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL I forget! Please forgive me! You couldn't see my sly grin. I DID NOT FLAME KENDALL!
I was teasing. Shame on me.
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24 Jul 00 - 11:28 AM (#263540) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia. Yeah, never could get comfortable with the American Rules of Dating - month, day and year. A very cock-eyed progression for time. Regards / JG / FME |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:47 AM (#263553) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Susan from California Mrzzy---I think it is kind of understood that s*x is something dating partners want, so you don't have to be "in your face" honest about that part! But in general I would say the honesty stuff is crucial. There are just delicate ways to do it. My sweetie and I had been friends for a few months, so by the time we actually started dating honest sharing was natural. I told him after a week of dating that I wanted to have his children. He didn't run for the hills, we just waited a couple of years...we are still honestly sharing and growing together. And this was after a nasty divorce, and this IS my rebound relationship. There is hope-lots of it! |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:59 AM (#263563) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy OOh, SfromC, thanks for the hopes for rebounds not coming back down necessarily! I would like to hear from other foreigners who've tried to date Americans... whether day first or month first, LOL! |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:59 AM (#263565) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy OOh, SfromC, thanks for the hopes for rebounds not coming back down necessarily! I would like to hear from other foreigners who've tried to date Americans... whether day first or month first, LOL! |
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24 Jul 00 - 12:00 PM (#263567) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy Aha, it told me it hadn't sumbitted so I clicked Submit again. Shouldn't have listened... |
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24 Jul 00 - 12:06 PM (#263576) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo You guys are giving me such tremedous hope! --Matt |
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24 Jul 00 - 12:09 PM (#263577) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall Oh hell, I didnt feel "Flamed". It sounded like an honest opinion to me..and I cant argue with what someone else sees. I was just curious to know what triggered that statement that I'm an arrogant s.o.b. I really shouldn't have said..women take rejection harder than men.. that was a generalization which I had no right to make. About a year ago, I answered an ad in the personals, and, in talking to the lady on the phone, she said, "I dont know about this, you sound very "Lberal" to me. I said, now I suppose you are going to tell me you are a republican? " "Yes I am", she said. "Oh great," says I.."Are you also going to tell me you play the Saxaphone?" "YES, I do." she said. Ordinarilly, that would tear the rag off the bush, but, we had coffee anyway, and have been friends ever since. I dont sing folk songs, and she doesn't play Saxaphone. We mostly argue politics. We have nothing in common except our love of an intelligent conversation. She has no desire to "sleep with me" but, I dont feel rejected. She has every right to feel that way, and so do I. (But, I'll bet she hands out more rejection slips than I do!!) Sinsull, I dont have a long history of rejecting women, but, it has happened, usually, when I was married. When I'm married, I will reject any approach. (By the way, I'm single right now) |
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24 Jul 00 - 01:30 PM (#263641) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin Here's a Rule: Never get so drunk you puke on yourself. It tends to turn women off for some reason... Amergin |
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24 Jul 00 - 01:34 PM (#263645) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy kendall, I took it as "in your experience" women take rejection harder, because I know that you are not a general generalizer, but you're right, you ought to have hedged. My personal experience is that AMERICAN men take rejection harder than anyone, other men, other women, etc. My experience is also that AMERICAN men, alone in the world, have trouble with ACCEPTANCE, too - ever hear of the Coolidge effect? Always seemed extreme to me... but I've never ruined a friendship by consummating it when no Americans were involved. This is why I am so nervous about this one... Also, I've checked around, and although there seems to be consensus on this forum about not telling them you're going to call if you're not, I am hearing the opposite, that I'll Call is EXACTLY what you say when you aren't going to... but I vote for honesty there. However: What is the exit line when you are at the tail end of a first date that you do NOT wish to have progress to a second one? That was nice, let's not do it again? Is there a polite exit from a failed date? |
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24 Jul 00 - 01:56 PM (#263657) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. In my thinking, should the questions be asked, "Could I call you again?" or "There's something I think you'd enjoy going to next Tuesday night...blah, blah, blah." then you have your cue to say, "I had had such high hopes for our date tonight. I wish things could have gone differently. But unfortunately I didn't enjoy it as much as I had wanted. I thank you for thinking to ask me to join you tonight but I would prefer that this be our last date. If this invokes either pleading or gnashing of teeth, you say "I am sorry. This is how I feel and it is not open to further discussion. Goodnight." Well, at least that is how I remember it when I was on the receiving end...*G* |
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24 Jul 00 - 02:10 PM (#263665) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen The honesty is a big deal, and a lot of the time HOW you say it can tender WHAT you say. You aren't comfortable, not in your element, would rather be having orthodondic surgery...point is, you don't have to be cruel to get the idea across. As far as re-bounding goes, it doesn't have to be one, you know..*bg* If you approach it like it's doomed to fail, that this relationship is only transitory, 10 to 1 it will be. I guess the only thing I can add to this wealth of information, is have FUN. Something had to attract you to the person you are contemplating. Plan your first date as a short one, meet for coffee or something(no strings under the moonlight that way). And even if it turns out that you'd rather chew glass than date them again, at least you know, and it's only an hour or so out of your life.
I didn't read the rules book, but have gathered these from life and friends:
Take a deep breath luv, and dive in. |
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24 Jul 00 - 02:47 PM (#263692) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall Just say "Thank you, I'm sorry we dont have more in common." I had a blind date some years ago, and, she invited me to lunch. I picked up the tab. In the parking lot we were discussing the rules for dates these days, and I said "Generally, the rule today seems to be, equality. If I invite you to lunch, I pick up the check. If you invite me, you pick it up.." she remembered that she had invited me, but that I picked up the chck, she said "Well ! I dont have a penis!" I replied "Well, I do, but, I've never tried to pay the check with it!" Naturally, I never saw her again. No sense of humor at all. A fatal flaw to me. |
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24 Jul 00 - 03:09 PM (#263707) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Mrrzy: best advice - forget Americans, try Canadians. yours, Peter T. |
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24 Jul 00 - 03:24 PM (#263725) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Little Neophyte Mrrzy, I'm not sure if this falls in the rule books but I feel it is important to just Be Yourself. The best way to ease the conversation all around is if you are relaxed and feeling comfortable. That way being honest, or finding the right words to express what you want to say may come easier. Amos has some very good points too. Avoid putting 'a frame' around the person. It helps to be open to anything and avoid placing expectations or assumptions on the person. That way you will avoid setting yourself up for disappointment. If you are not feeling too disappointed but are just aware that this is not the person you wish to continue dating, then it might be easier to find a kinder way to express that. I am not sure if anyone can give you the perfect 'lines' to say to someone else. It is good to listen to suggestions but in the end, best the words come from you personally. The manual I try to follow is: Kindness, Honesty with Sensitivity and to Be Myself. Bonnie |
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24 Jul 00 - 04:19 PM (#263768) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Liz the Squeak Amergin - extend that to 'never get so drunk you puke on your date either...' Been there, had that done, do you know how long it takes to wash dried puke out of hair that is nearly 3ft long......? LTS |
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24 Jul 00 - 04:20 PM (#263771) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Liz the Squeak And Kendall - I take the fifth on that one!! LTS |
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24 Jul 00 - 05:10 PM (#263813) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Mrr-sans-cookie again Kendall, that is hysterical. Anyone remember the root of the word Hysterical? I also go by whoever invites, pays, gender-neutral. But that is what we used to do when already IN relationships - but it sounds like a good general rule to me... |
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24 Jul 00 - 05:11 PM (#263815) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Lines to end a date with, so the other person will not be hoping to hear from you again (male to female): "Tomorrow I have a date with General Pershing." "Now those Afghans seem to be on to something, don't you think?" "Would any of your two other sisters have smaller feet perchance?" "Hobbies? Yes, I have this knife-throwing act which is only missing one thing. That's a joke. Missing one thing, get it!!!" "There is no trick. You just don't mind the pain." (need a candlelit dinner for this one) "I had a dress like that once." "INCOMING!!!!" yours, Peter T.
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24 Jul 00 - 05:14 PM (#263819) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Mrr-groaning OOh, Peter - I laughed at a Taliban reference! Shame on me, but how funny! I also like the penultimate, especially from man to woman... |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:19 PM (#263993) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL Gosh, Liz. You hung around long enough to let it dry? There must be more to this story. My nephew's intended vomited on him and several other family members upon meeting his family for the first time in a restaurant. They're still together. so much for the "No Vomiting" rule. |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:25 PM (#263998) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 Kendall, its a good idea not for you to try to pay with your penis unless you're only having Moon Pie. Spaw |
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24 Jul 00 - 10:29 PM (#264001) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen LOL Peter! Save the best for last.... A friend set me up on a blind date once, the gentleman (LOOSE definition) had a baseball cap lined with tinfoil... so the aliens and the FBI couldn't read his brain-waves. They were also trying to sterilize him, so his shorts were lined with foil as well. I didn't stick around long enough for a look at THAT!! All else fails, tell 'em you've got cramps.... ~Elle |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:01 PM (#264010) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Alice dating?.... men?.... where?..... I think I've been stuck in Montana too long. |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:19 PM (#264023) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin I thought Montana was one of those places where women have beards too....
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24 Jul 00 - 11:50 PM (#264037) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin Stuck in Montana, Alice? Let's get you stuck in California. |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:51 PM (#264038) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Think you could do the same for me, CR? |
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24 Jul 00 - 11:54 PM (#264040) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin Except the men shave their body hairs down in Cali.... |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:37 AM (#264060) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin Ohmygawd, did THAT come out wrong. I meant stuck as in permanently moved to California as opposed to stuck in Montana. Realized how that sounded after I clicked submit. |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:21 AM (#264094) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen Looking for men in Montana? I was told all you had to do was go to the side of the road and shout "BAAAAAAA".... ~Elle (giggling at the thought of chantey sticking Mbo...) |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:30 AM (#264097) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Joe Offer Well, Alice, you'd be very welcome in California. Don't pay any attention to that Chanteyranger fellow, though. I was here first... -Joe Offer- |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:52 AM (#264107) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin Hey, Elle, what do you think, will their feet have to be surgically removed from their mouths (like mine was tonight) or can we just use a hefty prybar to pop them loose? Amergin |
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25 Jul 00 - 03:44 AM (#264120) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin I've created a monster. Well, JenEllen, if you could steer Mbo towards those Montana sheep, I'll feel alot safer. While I'm busy removing my foot from my mouth - Mbo, give my regards to Mblarry and Mbcurly. -chanteyranger |
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25 Jul 00 - 08:44 AM (#264185) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Actually, Mbo has taken to vacuum cleaners. yours, Peter T. |
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25 Jul 00 - 08:46 AM (#264188) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Watch yer step, Shakespeare-boy. |
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25 Jul 00 - 09:10 AM (#264202) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler As part of the policy of diversification practiced by the NYCFTTS we announce our new personalised introduction agency. To launch it we have fixed MattMbo and Cap'n Kendall a double date with a couple of ex-cheerleaders called Buffy and Brittany and await the feedback questionnaires with interest. A couple of tips guys: don't mention the ELO, Matt and, Cap'n, keep your teeth in at dinner, even if the steak is tough. RtS pp Catspaw (CEO and Founder, NYCFTTS ("Your Problem is our Profit") |
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25 Jul 00 - 09:19 AM (#264208) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Rog, I'm gonna have to drop outta that one. Like I say in my song, When other girls & chances try to lead my heart astray From the golden road of your love, I walk away, and leave them behind Because I'd rather close my eyes and see you inside me mind... --Matt |
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25 Jul 00 - 10:27 AM (#264241) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin Oh, by the way Alice, you wouldn't be interested in Joe. I'm really, really a much much much more emotionally mature person than he is. chanteyranger |
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25 Jul 00 - 10:32 AM (#264244) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. Well, cr, knowing Alice as I do, I can safely say that she would have little interest in someone who would say such a thing. But she would be too polite to say so. And knowing Joe as I do, I think you would have a lot to learn from him. |
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25 Jul 00 - 10:40 AM (#264246) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin Very big grin on my comment about Joe, Allan. (the joke being the immature nature of my comment) |
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25 Jul 00 - 10:45 AM (#264247) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. It is difficult to see facial expressions no matter how hard I squint. |
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25 Jul 00 - 11:33 AM (#264285) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: bbelle When I moved to Alaska, several friends commented that I would come back to the lower 48 married, because the ratio of men to women is 17 to one. What I discovered, after much research, is this: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." It works in other places, too. moonchild |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:26 PM (#264320) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL Mbo, You have taunted us with references to this mysterious lady long enough. Out with it! Who is she? Where did you meet her? Does she have a good job and good prospects? Uncle Spaw will want to check her out to make sure she is good enough for our Mbo. Musician? Dancer? I see you with some ethereal giselle wrapped in gauzy tutus. Does she have all her teeth? And all her marbles? Say "Shut up, Mary" when you've had enough. Mary (shutting up) |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:36 PM (#264327) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 Well Sins......I can hardly wait myself. I've never seen a sheep in a tutu. Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:43 PM (#264331) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin I tell you, Spaw, they look very inviting with that tutu on...I tell you the ewe was begging for it...she was dressed like she wanted it...and she did...I know that in her heart she really desired it....sometimes baaaaa means yes... Amergin |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:53 PM (#264338) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen Gone from foot in your mouth to hoof-n-mouth, eh Amer? LOL From a professional standpoint, I can't condone that kind of behavior, but as a compassionate kind of gal, I have to say 'Whatever gets ya through the winter...' Mary, the mystery gal is no mystery. I think I can vouch that she has all her teeth, and is a dreamboat. The kid done allright..... ....of course, that now leaves Kendall with TWO cheerleaders.... ~Elle |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:55 PM (#264339) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy Well, I see we have thoroughly digressed... Still nothing from foreigners dating Americans, though, more's the pity! That's what I need to hear about... |
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25 Jul 00 - 12:57 PM (#264341) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL Ignore them Mbo. I just don't understand how we always end up discussing farm animals or flatulance. None of this is helpful to Mrrzy - at least I hope not. Mrrzy, I believe the Golden rule is the single most important one even in the world of dating. Treat him with the same respect you expect and it will be fine. |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:02 PM (#264343) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Max OK, here's my scoop. I was committed to my wife since I was 17 years old, married at 20, divorced at 28. I am single for the first time in my adult life, and boy is this interesting. I've learned a lot in the last 10 months, and here are a few tidbits I picked up. Rebounds last 8 months. If you meet somebody and exchange numbers, call in 2 days or don't call at all. Don't pick anyone up in a bar. If you do happen to meet somebody intriguing in a bar, find out where they work or where they go for fun etc. and try/hope to run into them again in a more appropriate venue. On first dates, honesty is key. Be yourself, you wouldn't want anyone to fall for a character you've created. You'll tire of the charade. Ask questions to compel your date to talk about him/herself. No one wants to talk too much about themselves, so present them with an invitation to do so and everyone wins. Ask women about their fathers, and men about their mothers. This will offer info on how your relationship may go. If you are dating more than one person, make sure they are in different routines. If one person likes to pop in on you to say hi, make sure the other doesn't. Never take a different person to the same place as another for a date. Make sure they call before coming over. No sex on the first date. Unless it's also the last date, then you might as well get laid. You are as attractive and interesting to others as you are to yourself. YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE YOURSELF TO BE LOVABLE. Don't date outside yourself. I drink and smoke, I would have serious reservations dating a health nut jogger. Everyone wants the same thing. It seems that the ingredients to get to the next level, an actual relationship, is… Good Sex and Good Conversation. For those A-Sexual Mudcatters, you can substitute Good Love or Good Snuggles or something. The point is to have fun. Well, that's all for now, though I could probably spend all day… If I have offended anyone, I just hope I have offended all genders equally. |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:04 PM (#264344) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen Well Mrrzy, I'm not exactly sure where your problem lies on this one. I don't really feel comfortable lumping all Americans into one group, because regionally, folks are pretty culturally diverse. What may go in one area, might not go in another. You know, one person's sheep is another person's first-cousin.... Are you looking to just join the dating pool or do you have a specific someone in mind? For the dating pool, I suggest just doing things you already like to do, and get in on the 'friend of a friend' angle. You will meet people that share the same interests, so regardless of romantic involvement you still have friends. If there is that one special one, go ASK. Go out for coffee and talk, see if personality works out. I'm pretty straightforward, and don't really have any problem asking what I want to know. I've also not had any complaints about it, so I travel under the assumption that it's okay. Also, don't squint. When you give up looking too hard, there's no telling what you'll find.... ~Elle |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:07 PM (#264346) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Bert Uh Oh! DougR is on the market gals. Go gettim;-) Someone is going to snap you up real quick Doug. Bert. |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:09 PM (#264347) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. Also remember what Albert Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge". |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:12 PM (#264348) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Amergin Elle, don't even get me started on cousins...after spending some time with them, one would get rather (shall we say) "close".... Mrrzy, just be yourself and don't play games. It tends to piss people off when folks play headgames.... Amergin
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25 Jul 00 - 01:19 PM (#264351) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Thanks Elle. |
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25 Jul 00 - 01:24 PM (#264355) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 Well Max has summed up some real world stuff for you Mrrzy and since the thread is back on track.......... After two long term relationships while in my 20's, I was just enjoying the life I had. As a rep and manger for a biggie, I was on the road constantly for almost ten years and my relationship with the opposite sex was pretty well relegated to the girls at the home office, the branch administrators, and a long line of one-nighters. I'm frankly ashamed to some degree that a lot of these women would be unrecognizable to me in the morning......and probably me to them also. In short, I'd given up ever finding the mate that I had expected I would find many years before. I had one cardinal rule. NEVER accept a blind date from some well meaning "matchmaker." So.......Being ill and generally feeling awful, I had just finished a training session and one of the new hires walked in and said, "Pat, how would you like to meet a nice girl?" I was too tired to argue and after a few futile stabs at it, gave up and arranged to meet this "nice girl" on Thursday evening. Everybody here knows the story. The nice girl was Karen and I proposed to her almost immediately. She is the greatest and best thing that ever happened in my life. So much for rules.......... Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:06 PM (#264381) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Alice Mrrzy, I'll second what Elle wrote. Americans are not stereotypes. No population of a country really fits stereotypes when you meet individual people. I don't know what part of the US you are in, but I am sure if you've traveled around a bit, you will find that the country is so large that it has cultural differences, customs, history, ethnic groups, etc., in every different city, state and region. Don't think of it as being so different than anywhere else you have lived. Maybe this is the stumbling block for you. Just look for situations and places where you will meet people with similar values, interests, and goals that you have. Volunteer for something you care about, join a club you are interested in, realize that when you are involved in life and not looking like you are seeking a relationship, that is when you are most likely to attract someone who will value you for who you are. The only "rules" there are about dating are the rules you make for yourself. Hopefully that includes things that will help you avoid people who will damage you in any way, and will lead you to people who will cherish, respect, and love you, either as a friend or something more. My 2¢. Alice |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:19 PM (#264389) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Dharmabum RULES? RULES? NOBODY TOLD ME THERE WERE RULES! I've recently found myself living among the single again. Although I'm not quite ready yet to jump into the dating pool,I don't find the idea all that intimidating. Personaly,I find it takes way too much effort to be any one other than myself. Honesty & acceptance, at least for me, are the two biggies. We all have our little flaws,if I expect someone to accept mine,I need to do the same for them. One of the biggest pitfalls I see couples fall into is one or both trying to change the other. If it was the wrong color, why'd ya buy it in the first place? In any case ,I wish all of you single folks & retreads the best of luck. Don't worry about any damn rules,just do whatever your heart tells you. Just remember, the prize is'nt always in the place your looking.
Ron. |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:21 PM (#264391) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Mrr Max, GREAT advice, especially about the First Date! And all else, I need to hedge what I mean by "my experience with Americans" to avoid insulting anyone in particular. I agree with Max on that, let's at least be fair about it. However, since my firm can map keystrokes, this will have to wait till I get home! |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:32 PM (#264397) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall Good advice coming from a kid, Max!! |
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25 Jul 00 - 02:49 PM (#264411) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Having dated Americans (I am a Canadian so I count as a foreigner), here are 7 important rules: 1. Always use a British accent if you have one. This makes them feel as if they are on Masterpiece Theatre or dating Prince Andrew. It does not matter if it is Cockney or Liverpudlian. They have no idea. 2. When at dinner, avoid sentences like: "Is the reason Americans are all so fat the huge portions they serve here?" 3. Do not, under any circumstances wince when they tell you that "knock you up" does not mean the same in America as it does elsewhere, as if this is brand new news. 4. Do not challenge them to find your home country on a map. Even a map with the names firmly written on them in large letters. This can ruin a really good evening. 5. Do not go and see a film from your home country with them on your first date, because you think it would be cute. If your home country is non-English speaking, wait at least until you are engaged to do this. One of you will invariably say something moronic about the other person's country, or bring up something that happened 200 years ago for which neither of you are to blame. 6. Avoid the following subjects: O.J. Simpson (#1), Waco (#2), the beauty queen kid who was murdered by her parents in Colorado but have never been arrested (#3), Monica Lewinsky (#4), Elian's Miami relatives (#5) or any other similar figure that tempts you to start a sentence beginning: "Are all Americans like..."? 7. ABOVE ALL STAY AWAY FROM THE FOLLOWING TWO WORDS: "GREEN CARD". These may be more along the specific lines you are seeking, Mrrzy. yours, Peter T. |
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25 Jul 00 - 03:21 PM (#264435) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Whistle Stop Just jumped in on this thread, after avoiding it for a while -- slow day, I guess. I'm an American male who divorced after 14 years of marriage, and has been very happily married to his "rebound" for almost three years. It works for me. Honesty seems to be the most consistent theme in this thread. I'll go along with that; the last thing you want to do is attract someone by pretending to be something other than yourself, and then be scared that he or she will discover the truth. Keep in mind that the kind of fish you catch depends on the kind of bait you use (wasn't there a song about that?). If you are honest in your dealings with people, you will attract others who value honesty. If you are false or superficial, you will attract others who are false or superficial. Speaking for myself only (I can't claim to the the Universal American), I find nothing so attractive as honesty, intelligence, creativity of thought and action, and a sense of humor. And I would never think badly of a prospective mate who confessed to being sexually attracted to me (although she might get a few points knocked off on the "intelligence" scale). Good luck. |
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25 Jul 00 - 03:37 PM (#264448) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: JenEllen ROTFLMAO! How do you KNOW you're an American? When Peter's last post is more offensive than the thought of Meebs and sheep.....ya really need to quit browsing in the bargain bins, Pete! Max has the right idea, and it sounds neutral to gender or country of origin, just be patient. Why not incorporate your previous style of dating to the area you are in now? A group of friends is still a group of friends, regardless of which side of the pond you are on. ~Elle |
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25 Jul 00 - 03:47 PM (#264453) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST I can't figure out why my cookie has disappeared or why the above posts were blank. About the thread: What's a good waiting period following divorce? Any general rules? bflat |
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25 Jul 00 - 04:04 PM (#264463) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 Karen's Dad (Jim) went on a vacation to Costa Rica where he fell in love with a Costa Rican woman. Neither of them sould speak the other's language. They married and were together for 12 years gefore her death. Neither ever learned the other language. There's a moral or something here.......... Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 06:21 PM (#264571) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall I was married to two women who claimed to speak my language, but, we still didnt understand each other. |
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25 Jul 00 - 06:29 PM (#264575) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Here's one for you, kendall. You say that we've got nothing in common No common ground to start from And we're falling apart You'll say the world has come between us Our lives have come between us But I know you just don't care And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film, And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got." I see you - the only one who knew me And now your eyes see through me So what now? It's plain to see we're over, And I hate when things are over When so much is left undone Then I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film, And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
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25 Jul 00 - 06:49 PM (#264581) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. Is that the film where they drown the cat in a rain barrel at the end? Always liked that part. yours, Peter T. |
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25 Jul 00 - 06:57 PM (#264587) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 No Peter, its the one where George Peppard crashes his WWI prototype, monoplane, fighter onto a railroad flat car and is shot at by Eli Wallach until the train derails and he's rescued at the last minute by Mr.T and then left for dead in a burned out forest where he watches Audrey Hepburn give Richard Dreyfuss a haircut. Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:03 PM (#264591) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter T. How could you tell George Peppard left for dead from George Peppard left for alive? yours, Peter T. |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:04 PM (#264593) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo Did he "get some"-thing more when she gave him the haircut? Y'know, like in the Song Challenge!? Watch Mr.Holland get his organ played... |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:04 PM (#264594) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,mystery guest Kendall's taken girls! He just doesn't know it yet!!! Move along dearies! |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:09 PM (#264595) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 The "Mystery Guest" is Kendall's right hand. Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:12 PM (#264596) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall HHMMM, sounds interesting to me..I hope it's the same one I'm looking at! |
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25 Jul 00 - 07:16 PM (#264599) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 I'm sure it is Kendall. Its the one at the end of your right arm. Spaw |
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25 Jul 00 - 08:00 PM (#264628) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall HUH!! gottcha spaw! I'm ambidexterous, so there!! |
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25 Jul 00 - 09:15 PM (#264668) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Uncle_DaveO I haven't been of dating age for forty years, and I was sort of long in the tooth for it then (33 years old at the time), so I can only say that I know it has experience a sea change since my misspent youth. Back in those dear, dead days beyond recall young ladies (yes, they still used that term) were supposed to be passive, or at least to seem so. I'm reminded of an advice-to-young-ladies song I wrote about forty-five years ago, which went (to a sort of calypso beat) like this: Come all you young ladies and listen And gain some instruction from me. Be modest, demure and retiring And chase not the bachelor so free! Oh, do not act bold, free, and brazen; Be modest, retiring, and shy. Men flee from the woman who chases And the brazen young lady pass by! [instrumental or whistling break]
But the modest girl catches a husband |
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25 Jul 00 - 10:18 PM (#264713) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall very clever! |
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26 Jul 00 - 04:42 AM (#264846) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: sledge Mrrzy, I spose I rate being a foreigner and I dated an Amercian Lady for 8 months or so after my divorce, it was fab. The main downer was the 8000 mile round trip to see each other. Apart from the obvious physical stuff I was introduced to a lot of activities I had not tried before so it was a great time in more ways than one. For those with a depraved mind (spaw) the other activiteis included Skiing, both water and snow, baseball and more music than I could shake a hairy stick at. Sledge |
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26 Jul 00 - 09:48 AM (#264939) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Since the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta has said that people who meet partners on the Internet are more at risk from sexually transmitted diseases the NYCFTTS has decided to discontinue the free trial of its introduction agency and must ask Cap'n K to return the two ex-cheerleaders unused. RtS (Wasserman to do?) |
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26 Jul 00 - 12:21 PM (#265034) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall Too late, sorry! |
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26 Jul 00 - 01:33 PM (#265082) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Allan C. Mrrzy, I've been a foreigner all my life in one way or another. I have always felt as if I were on the outside looking in; that there were things about the dating rituals that only a privileged few were allowed to know. But after years of experimentation I finally came to understand that the women I dated didn't know the rules either. In general you make them up as you go along. The safe way to play is to ask your date about the rules - especially if you think you might be about to break one. "How do you feel about having someone open doors for you?" "Would you prefer to pay your own way or should we decide who is 'treating' who on a per-event basis?" "Would it bother you if I were to pop my pimples at the dinner table?" Questions like these can open doors to much broader discussions. They also let your date know that you are making an effort to be considerate of their preferences. |
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26 Jul 00 - 01:41 PM (#265089) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mbo I made you a list you can choose from To let me know what you want from me All you have to do is to choose one It's as simple as ABC: I could be: A)Lover B)True C)No one else but you And if those choices aren't enough I could be: D)evoted E)ternally to your love Or how about all of the above? Any choice you make is the right one But if indecision has got you stressed I think I would go for the last one 'Cause that one covers your bases best I could be: A)Lover B)True C)No one else but you And if those choices aren't enough I could be: D)evoted E)ternally to your love Or how about all of the above? This is the one time No matter how you choose Darling, you can't lose |
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26 Jul 00 - 02:07 PM (#265099) Subject: Lyr Add: 'A' YOU'RE ADORABLE From: Mrrzy I am reminded of an alphabet song: A you're adorable, B you're so beautiful, C you're a cutie full of charm |
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26 Jul 00 - 02:36 PM (#265125) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: catspaw49 Kendall......We need to talk. Skiff asked that the Cheerleaders be returned unused and you indicated that you had already used them. Well, I fear we'll have to charge you as they returned to the Center today in a completely used-up and now unusable condition! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM??? I mean, upon inspection, they appear to be physically fine and in pristine condition......well, at least as pristine as an ex-cheerleader can be..........but their mental state is serious. BOTH are completely catatonic!!! My gawd Kendall, you can hardly tell them from Nancy Reagan! One of the attending staff got the only reactions we have seen out of them when he mentioned that perhaps we should bring you out to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed to aid in their treatment. Both jumped up and ran screaming into the kitchen facilities and plunged their heads into an oven. It took our food service workers over an hour to free them! After that, both returned to the catatonic state and are now beginning long treatment in our west wing which houses the James Taylor Rehab Clinic for the Catatonically Bland. You will be billed and I hope that in the future you will take the necessary precautions to stop the spread of OAB---Orally Administered Boredom. Spaw |
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26 Jul 00 - 02:41 PM (#265129) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: kendall They will be ok,,it's just that they known it is all downhill from here. Reminds me of a ram I had. He commited suicide, and it was my fault. Without thinking, one day I walked by him and I was singing..(wait for it) Ther'll Never Be Another EWE. |
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26 Jul 00 - 07:03 PM (#265348) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL Roger? Did you say that people are transmitting HIV over the Internet? I knew this machine had more capabilities than I was taking advantage of. |
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26 Jul 00 - 08:59 PM (#265420) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: DougR Bert: Thanks for that plug! My email box has been packed with titilating messages from ladies all over the world since you posted that message! I'm overwhelmed! :)> DougR |
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27 Jul 00 - 07:04 PM (#266105) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL Doug, Please confine those messages to the Breast Thread. Now look at what you've done. Mrrzy was looking for advice on dating and you've ended up with all the dates. That makes you the ultimate Thread Creep! The least you can do to make up for this is to offer to take her out for dinner. (You owe me one, Mrrzy). |
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27 Jul 00 - 07:10 PM (#266110) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: DougR SINSULL: you're absolutely right. I practiced Thread Creep with abandon (Bert kida started it though). I apologize, and when I get to Mrrzy's message (I'm sure there is one there)I'll take care of her. DougR |
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27 Jul 00 - 09:02 PM (#266186) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy Sinsull, I owe you more than one! And DougR, I can hardly wait. When you find my message, can I have it? |
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28 Jul 00 - 12:26 AM (#266324) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: DougR Mrrzy: When I come across it, I'll send it to you! :>) DougR |
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28 Jul 00 - 01:25 AM (#266357) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin Well, here's a pickup line guaranteed to..well...guaranteed to be a pickup line: (in a bar) "Can I buy you a drink or would you rather just have the cash?" |
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28 Jul 00 - 01:33 PM (#266697) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: black walnut mrrzy... i haven't been around the 'cat much in the last few weeks. but i just noticed your thread indicated "NonMusic" in the subject heading, and if putting that there had anything whatsoever to do with my request for this indicator several weeks ago (and even if it didn't), i thank you, thank you, thank you... ~black walnut |
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28 Jul 00 - 01:38 PM (#266707) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: SINSULL You need to update that CR. They take credit cards now. |
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28 Jul 00 - 02:40 PM (#266766) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Mrrzy Indeed it did, black walnut. Made a lot of sense to me. You're welcome. Got any advice? |
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29 Jul 00 - 01:23 AM (#267115) Subject: RE: BS: NonMusic: American Rules of Dating From: Peter Kasin I couldn't figure out why that line never works for me. |