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Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Both Sides Now

17 Nov 00 - 12:11 AM (#342169)
Subject: Lyr Add: BOTH SIDES NOW (parody by Chris Clarke)
From: Bob Bolton

G'day all,

I would like to note this finally surfacing in the original thread (last sighted last July 2000), but I can't get any action out of Mudcat search this afternoon. I'll note it there if I ever raise the thread close enough to the surface to gaff it.

Anyway, this has finally arived back with permission to post the words - which remain, of course copyright (c) to Chris Clarke, the author of this parody on Both Sides Now.

Enjoy,

Both Sides Now (The Toast Song)
c 1971. Chris Clarke

In morning time when I arise
My breakfast fare is no surprise,
I pour the cornflakes, make the tea
And then reach for the bread.
I turn the gas on, light the grill,
And think this time I really will
Stay wide awake, make perfect toast
And start the day well-fed

I'll lightly toast it both sides now,
Both up and down
To golden brown,
The toasting time I will recall,
I really can make toast
After all.

But then I read, to pass the time,
The cornflakes advertising rhyme,
I hear the news, but don't take in
A single item read.
And then an old familiar smell
Invades the dreamworld where I dwell,
And fills the room with flames and smoke
And fumes of burning bread -

I've burnt the toast on both sides now,
Both front and back
To charcoal black,
The toasting time I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
After all.

And so I scrape it in the bin
Which makes the slices rather thin,
Then wipe the knife upon the cloth
Back in my dream-like state.
I butter it with marmalade,
Then to correct the mess I've made
Spread butter on the other side
And stick it to the plate -

My toast is buttered both sides now,
Both left and right,
I'm none too bright,
The buttering I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
At all.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

17 Nov 00 - 12:30 AM (#342171)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: alison

nice one Bob

slainte

alison

17 Nov 00 - 07:56 PM (#342715)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: GUEST,Kernow Jon

Thanks for this Bob and thanks to Chris Clarke too.
KJ

18 Nov 00 - 01:20 AM (#342845)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Bob Bolton

G'day all,

I hope Alisons and KernowJon enjoy singing it too. I might print out a copy and paste it above the toaster - but then, as I breakfast on cereal while Patricia nukes toast, this might be impolitic!

I PMed the original requester (BAZ) to say that I had finally got hold of a friend's autographed copy from Chris CLarke - and permission to post. OK, it did take 6 months ... but The Shiny Bum Singers ARE the minstrels of the Canberra (Australia's National Capital) Public Service!

Regards,

Bob Bolton

16 Jun 08 - 07:40 AM (#2366833)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: kendall

hehehe

16 Jun 08 - 09:42 AM (#2366907)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Sandra in Sydney

I've heard this sung by Chris (Mudcatter Canberra Chris) & others lotsa' times, but seeing him perform this at a recent National folk Festival, was a treat. He was dressed in his pyjamas & did it as part of a concert about daily life (daily life as seen by this mob of Public Sevants & consultants)

Shiny Bums Singers on Youtube

Unfortunately the Toast Song is not here - but check out Howard Times to see Bob Bolton taking pictures & singing along when the Bums appeared at my folk club last year.

more videos on their website

Maybe I'll watch their (professional) DVD next!

sandra (No.1 Shiny Bums fan)

16 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM (#2367049)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Rumncoke

I was hoping it was about an errant toaster - I have one - it either pops up when the bread is still palid or hangs onto it and burns it black - perhaps I will have to write my own.

16 Jun 08 - 08:00 PM (#2367486)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Sandra in Sydney

... it's burnt the toast on both sides now ...