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16 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM (#358252) Subject: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU A recent thread has reaised an interesting question, Should the US and Canada go to war against each other, and if so, why? Well... In my opinion, contrary to that I expressed in the post - where would I go to evade the draft, I now remember, looking in the mirror at my grey hair, it is unlikely I would be drafted, and so, for the first time in my life, war looks like a good option! So, I would say, send in the marines, because... 1. We may loose, as Canada is not Grenada... and then we'd get a working health care system... 2. We could all say "eh..." eh? 3. Canadaian comidians would not have to leave Canada to come to the US and get jobs... They could come to Chicago and stay in Canada. Now, when I was in law school, a professor there said that he worked with a group from the Canadian Maritime provences who where looking into American Statehood if Quebec quit the nation... The last good reason to fight a war with Canada would be to settle the issue of the Canadian Maritime Provences,... They would extend down to Florida... Hawkishly knashing my teath at you Molson drinking, Moose eaters up north - our future masters Larry |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:14 AM (#358257) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Rick Fielding Hey Larry, ANYTHING that would force Americans to learn a LITTLE bit about our country would help. Actually we're probably better off the less they know! Rick |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:23 AM (#358260) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU I agree... When Genie and I used to go to Quebec for vactions in the 80's it was affordable and there were VERY few of our countryfolk there, then after Locherbie, folks got scared of flying and the Place d'Royal became filled with folks saying in loud voces "Hey Martha, Look at all the CUTE french people!" and the prices shot up through the roof! Now we have to go up to Sept Illes before we can find any peace and quiet - well quiet except for the sound of saws creating a grey waistland where there once where hunter gatherer natives hunting Carabou and Salmon... Hey, even Canada has it's faults,... eh? Cheers, neighbor, Larry |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:33 AM (#358266) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Wotcha Of course in a few years the Canadians may not offer an armed force to oppose ... they made their airborne forces disappear at a stroke of the pen (they were naughty boys in Somalia ...)... and they tried to suppress interservice rivalry in the 60s by calling all their forces the Canadian Armed Forces (they have air and naval elements which still insist on wearing a different colour uniform than the land forces). Maybe if they militarize their rugby teams, they'll do ok. They can certainly sing ... although "North Atlantic Squadron" should only be used in the most offensive of combined arms operations. Cheers, Brian |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:39 AM (#358271) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Canada with no army!? OUR KINDA WAR! How dare you threaten our great nation by sending bears accross the boarder! Put 'em up Canada! |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:10 PM (#358278) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Ebbie Shall we vote? |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:20 PM (#358279) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: McGrath of Harlow If so, better have Canada doing the counting... |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM (#358281) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster Hey, if we had a third of the American Defense budget, Canada would have the world's greatest fighting force. But it doesn't matter anyways.... Americans were so worried about their election that while everyones attention was on Florida, we had a full month and had taken over parts of New England. Until we realized what we were getting, then gave it back. and speaking about elections, we had ours a week or so after the American one started... Us crazy canucks must have done something right, they declared the winner an hour and a half after the polls closed. And they didn't have to take it back. Our ballots are simple, a piece of paper with the names and an empty circle beside each one. You make a mark with a pencil (remember those things from school?) in the circle matching the person you want to vote for. It doesn't matter what kind of mark you make..... an 'X', a checkmark, a smily face, road map to grandma's, it all works. And i hope you Americans enjoy the next 4 years as you will never hear the end of this mess you made. Gore was cheated, or the other side, sayin Gore was a sore loser. Bush's reign will always be the 'what-if' presidency. |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:35 PM (#358284) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Hey Devilmaster! Make sure you guys attack during a US election! We wont notice until it's over! - Larry |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:36 PM (#358286) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster and btw, i dont care who won your election.... |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:37 PM (#358287) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster well with a whole month to attack, i dont think it would be too terribly hard at all. Just tell all the americans were comin down to help them in the election.... classic trojan horse |
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16 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM (#358291) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster I think Jimmy Kimmel said it best..... Between Al Gore and George Bush, you have a better selection of meals on an airplane....... flying coach...... from Calcutta to Timbuktu. |
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16 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM (#358306) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Naemanson You know, this would be the second time the US and Canada went to war! I grew up near one of the old forts established dureing the famous(?) Aroostook War. I took the following from: http://homepages.rootsweb.com/~godwin/reference/aroostook.html The Aroostook War was an undeclared, bloodless "war" that occured in 1839. The peace treaty in 1783 had not satisfactorily determined what is the boundary between New Brunswick and what is now Maine. The boundary dispute worsened after Maine gained statehood (1820) and, disregarding British claims, began granting land to settles in the valley of the Aroostook River. The king of the Netherlands was asked to arbitrate the disbute, but the U.S. Senate rejected his award in 1832, although the British accepted it. Canadian lumberjacks entered the Aroostook region to cut timber during the winter of 1838-1839, and in February they seized the American land agent who had been dispatched to expel them. The "war" was now under way. Maine and New Brunswick called out their militiamen, and Congress, at the instigation of Maine, authorized a force of 50,000 men and appropriated $10 million to meet the emergency. Maine actually sent 10,000 troops to the disputed area. President Martin Van Buren dispatched General Winfield Scott to the "war" zone, and Scott arranged an agreement (March 1839) between officials of Maine and New Brunswick that averted actual fighting. Britain agreed to refer the dispute to a boundary commission, and the matter settled in 1842 by the Webster-Ashburton Treaty. The compromise reached by Daniel Webster and 1st Baron Ashburton (Alexander Baring) awarded 7,015 square miles to the United States and 5,012 to Great Britain. Retention by the British of the northern area assured them of year-round overland military communications with Montreal. Webster used a map, said to have been marked with a red line by Benjamin Franklin at Paris in 1782, in persuading Maine and Massachusetts to accept the agreement. Britain agreed to pay these states $150,000 each, and they were to be reimbursed by the United States for expenses incurred defending the area against encroachment.
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16 Dec 00 - 02:20 PM (#358309) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Rick Fielding Damn, during the late sixties I housed a lot of draft resistors, now I'd have to BE one! Hmmmm, guess I could go to Quebec. Rick |
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16 Dec 00 - 02:22 PM (#358310) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Ya learn sumat ever day! Thanks for the info! - Larry |
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16 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM (#358311) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mousethief I think it's so cute the way Canadians think they're an independent nation. |
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16 Dec 00 - 02:43 PM (#358316) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Dave (the ancient mariner) All we would do is remove the road signs and your army would be totally lost. Even if they did find Canada we could just re-direct them to shoot at Detroit...(Detroit would shoot back, and they would end up invading the USA and defeating themselves in the confusion) |
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16 Dec 00 - 02:54 PM (#358317) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: SeanM "When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!" Reason enough right there, if you ask me. M |
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16 Dec 00 - 03:01 PM (#358320) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Susan of DT (from dick greenhaus) Canadians are already preparing for an invasion of the US! Over 80 percent of the Canadian population is massed within 100 miles of the border! |
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16 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM (#358329) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Skeptic Not to mention the insidous infiltration of agent provocateurs who flock to Florida every fall and winter. I mean, can we really be sure that the whole elction fiasco in Florida wasn't part of a subverse effort to soften up the US for a spring invasion? Well, go ahead and invade. And win. That'll show you. Regards John |
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16 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM (#358330) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Little Hawk Yup, we're all ready at the start line, fully equipped with snowshoes, prefab igloos, phony beaver tails that stick on with velcro, plastic moose antlers, baseball caps on backwards, and Canadian Tire money in case we run out of rations while investing Washington... Ready or not, eh? Here we come! - LH p.s. BTW, we're all sort of hoping that Quebec does secede and joins the USA. If so, within 4 years or less your whole financial and political situation will be so buggered up that you'll beg us to walk in and take over...
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16 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM (#358331) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: John Hardly Who says "Imminent Domain" is finished? |
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16 Dec 00 - 03:34 PM (#358332) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Hollowfox Well, let's not forget the famous Pig War of 1839. That's the one that started when an Englishman's pig was shot by a Yank (it was probably rooting in his garden) on San Juan Island (on the border of what are now British Columbia and Washington state). It had never been established just which sovereign nation actually owned the island, and both countries sent troops. The soldiers and warships spent a summer there without a shot being fired, and in the end a pfennig was tossed. The United States got the islands, and very pretty they are, too. |
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16 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM (#358334) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: MarkS The problems in Florida were caused by Canadian snowbirds voting in the recent election. (Not being a citizen not much of a bar to voting in Florida anyway). Only used to marking a paper ballot with pencil, they found the Vote-O-Matic machines confusing and the rest is history. As the song goes, for troubles in the USA Blame Canada! MarkS |
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16 Dec 00 - 10:10 PM (#358466) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST,kendall What is it that you would like to know Rick? Or. I should say, what do you think WE should know? If you think we are ignorant about Canada...you should watch Jay Leno doing his Jwalking. Those geeks cant even find the USA!! let alone Canada. |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:03 PM (#358480) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Rick Fielding Jeez Kendall, wouldn't apply to you anyway. Mainers are honorary canucks! You got the weather, the accents, the music, and the toughness. Hell, I'll bet you've shoveled a few tonnes of snow in your day. (Like I've been doin' this week) Although it WOULD be nice if Yanks knew that we haven't had any British influence on our Govt. in over a hundred years. The only Royal figure that'll be giving us direction will be Dubya! Rick |
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16 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM (#358490) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll You have a Government in Canada? Why? Whats there to govern? Buncha moose and a few Frenchies in Quebec and the rest is ice and snow and pine trees. Did the Queen give you permission to say that? And someone needs to tell you guys that snowmobiles don't work where there ain't no snow! Betcha didn't know that didja? Most of the US is NOT snow-bound most of the year. Yer gonna look REAL silly trompin' down the beach in snowshoes. troll |
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17 Dec 00 - 05:12 AM (#358535) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Ebbie Devilmaster, don't be quite so sanguine about your quick election results. The US has had many an election where the winner was projected afternoon of election day. No problem- except that people farther west lost their motivation to vote. However: That works fine ONLY if the election isn't close. This year's US election was basically a tie. If you in Canada had the same situation you might well also have a mess, IMO. Until one gets to recounting, you really have no way of knowing how accurate the published results are. And may never know. Ebbie |
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17 Dec 00 - 07:31 AM (#358541) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Willie-O Dave TAM, we don't need to take down the signs. They can't read 'em anyway. Only way most Americans seem to be able to get their bearings at all is by asking "is that close to Toronto?" Doesn't work too well east of Quebec City. And obscure little fracas's in the east and west aside, we have of course had a real war with the States--1812 to 1814 it was. Who won is still debated, but we definitely did remodel that thar White House. Me and my gang are invading New England next week... Willie-O, loading up the syrup bombs
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17 Dec 00 - 07:33 AM (#358542) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Yeah! and look at what we elected....Politicians who fail to do what they promise, spend money on stupid personal gain motivated issues, and allow the medicare system to crash out of control for lack of money; then blame everyone else for the debt. Not to mention the minister who lost millions (creative accounting?) and was re-elected with a majority dictatorship anyway... Only In Canada eh? pity! (us) |
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17 Dec 00 - 08:03 AM (#358547) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Clinton Hammond2 Hey MT! Tell ya what... we'll have a war, but fight in such subjects as math, geography and world history! What's the percentage of americans who can't find thier own hometown on an unmarked map of their state??? How myopic do you have to be? ;-) |
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17 Dec 00 - 09:39 AM (#358560) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Naemanson Thw War of 1812 was between Britain and the US. Canada was just a convenient territory from which to base Britain's operations. |
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17 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM (#358592) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll Clinton, that's what you get when your government offers up bread and circuses. There's no longer a need to think for yourself. troll |
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17 Dec 00 - 01:31 PM (#358604) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Clinton Hammond2 Troll... you say that almost like it's a good thing?? ;-) |
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17 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM (#358620) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Little Hawk Hey Kendall, it's not so hard for us Canadians to find the USA as you think. We just follow the smog trail. :-) As for looking funny walking down the beach in snowshoes. Hey, we have cornered the market on looking funny, and we're proud of it. Jim Carrey, William Shatner, John Candy, Joe Clark, John Diefenbaker...take it from me, Canadians know how to look funny. It's one of the choicest weapons in our arsenal. While they're doubled over laughing we kick 'em in the you-know-where! - LH |
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17 Dec 00 - 07:15 PM (#358771) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll No, Clinton. I say it sorrowfully. troll |
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17 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM (#358772) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: ddw Here in Windsor the ones who realize they're part of Canada still think Canada WON the War of 1812 — they made the U.S. keep Detroit. ;-) david |
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17 Dec 00 - 08:25 PM (#358808) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST Our riding had a judicial recount, which was completed in one day plus one evening. T.W. |
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17 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM (#358818) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll How hard is it to count 37 votes? ***BG*** troll |
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17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM (#358850) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster hey troll, how hard is it to count 37 votes? add metro-dade....... |
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17 Dec 00 - 11:24 PM (#358851) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster excuse me..... ask metro-dade |
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18 Dec 00 - 08:58 AM (#358973) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST Well, I sure wouldn't want to invade a place that call a hockey team "the Ducks:, doesn't have Tim Hortons, thinks South Park is funny and elects Gw as President. Nope, I'll just stay here and watch it all from a distance...a safe ditance. |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:12 AM (#358983) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Irish sergeant Personally I'm against a war with Canada. Why should we do to them what we've done with this country? I really didn't want to see GWjr inflicted on this country. Why would I wish that on Canada? I do hope in all seriousness, we're all having a little bit of fun and this doesn't become an ugly thread. I am proud to be an American but Dad was born in North Bay, Ontario. (We Americans should remember that anyone from either North or SOuth America is an American) Having said that I have to ask the Canadians Do yopu really want dominion over Rosanne Barr? Think about this for a second! You'd also have to have dominion over such stellar personages as Newt Gingrich, Trent Lott, Charles MAnson and dare I say it, Bill Clinton. Kindest reguards, Neil |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:22 AM (#358992) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Willie-O Irish Sarge, I know you mean it in a friendly way but we don't want to be "Americans". I have gone on at length about this before...suffice it to say that we prefer to keep the St Lawrence River, the Great Lakes and the 49th parallel between us and youse Americans. Even without the likes of R Barr, T Lott and WJ Clinton aside, we have enough assholes up here already! the You Ess has no monopoly on producing them... Interestingly enough we would also regain dominion over Neil Young and who needs that... Dave TAM, I completely agree with you about the deficiencies of our current government--even if not about the solution! W-O |
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18 Dec 00 - 12:19 PM (#359090) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST,John Leeder Don't forget the ever-popular War of 1812, North American Sector. Peter Whalley wrote, "Little is known about the War of 1812 because the Americans lost." Actually it was more of a draw -- but a draw between the U.S. and British North America as it existed in 1812 was actually a win for us. We burned Washington, you burned York (now known as Toronto) -- not exactly an even swap in those days. Even nowadays, burning Toronto would be seen as doing us a favour by the rest of the country. (I'm being facetious, as a former Torontonian, back in the days when it was liveable.) Some sources give a lot of credit to the Canadian militia, others say the British regulars won it all and the local contribution was negligible. Choose your historian with care, to support whichever version of the legend you prefer. |
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18 Dec 00 - 01:18 PM (#359131) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST Hell, I'll march north just for the Sleeman's Honey Brown. Mike Bennett |
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18 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM (#359158) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Steve Latimer Welcome to Canada Mike, Sleemans is only a start. Moosehead, Alexander Keiths and a bunch of good Micro Breweries combined with a lot of fine music should entice you. I woul recommend that you wait until April to start your March, it's usually bearable here by then. |
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18 Dec 00 - 02:13 PM (#359182) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mousethief Perhaps we should declare war on Canada just to force them to take back Detroit. And Neil Diamond. |
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18 Dec 00 - 02:44 PM (#359195) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: GUEST,John Leeder Come west, Mike, and try some Big Rock. |
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18 Dec 00 - 02:51 PM (#359196) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Steve Latimer Mousethief; Them's fightin' words. |
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18 Dec 00 - 04:02 PM (#359240) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll Tell ya what. You guys can have the entire West Coast AND Florida and we'll take Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. Deal? troll |
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18 Dec 00 - 04:46 PM (#359280) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mousethief Speak for yourself, Troll. We Ecotopians have no desire to be under the Canadian government, and have them rape our forests the way they're doing to BC's. Oh wait, I forgot. You vote Republican. Alex |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:22 PM (#359347) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Skeptic Alex Thank you Regards John |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:32 PM (#359355) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Pixie Objection!!!! Speaking as an honourary Maritimer, I do not want to become a citizen of the US! Why don't you guys take Quebec???? Pixie |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM (#359358) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster No deal, Troll. you just want those two provinces for the good beer and great people. (not to mention the backwoods hooch! burp!) speakin of beer......... (chsssshhhhh, glug, glug, glug, glug..... ahh.) |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:33 PM (#359359) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mousethief Look, can we just get you guys to take back Detroit and Neil Diamond, and call it pax? All this other stuff is going to be too contentious. |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:36 PM (#359362) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster hey, i dont want your hand-me-down cities, MT..... |
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18 Dec 00 - 06:40 PM (#359366) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mousethief Now Devilmaster, don't get me started on Canadian self-righteousness. I've been really nice so far. Alex |
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18 Dec 00 - 07:12 PM (#359406) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster Its not self-righteousness, but your only offering detroit and neil diamond.... why not maui or oahu, with cindy crawford.... more of a fair deal..... |
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18 Dec 00 - 07:14 PM (#359410) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Devilmaster besides, i live in windsor, cross the river to detroit all the time.... it aint that bad of a city..... |
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18 Dec 00 - 07:22 PM (#359420) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll Don't want the West Coast and Florida, huh? You guys are smarter than you look. And Alex, for your information, I voted for Bugs Bunny. Get off it Skeptic. You don't even know where those places are. I've still got your atlas, remember? troll |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:15 PM (#359496) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: ddw If you guys want a real swap, how 'bout Canada takes Detroit and the U.S. takes Quebec? Sound like a great deal for the U.S.? Consider this — off the wires tonight: By Idella Sturino The Canadian Press MONTREAL
A rural Quebec couple selling maple syrup through an English-only Web site will ask the courts to rule whether the province's language laws apply to the Internet. I think the only reason the U.S. has Detroit now and Canada has Quebec is that the U.S. had first choice. david |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:19 PM (#359499) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Having attended trials in Sept Illes, where Innu elders, who spoke no English or French, were tried for tresspass on their own land, without benifit of translation into Innu,... I can believe the above. Larry |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM (#359505) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: ddw Yeah, and if you think Dubya's out to lunch, you should listen to the gibberish Canada's erstwhile leader — Jean Chretien — can come out with. I know bilingual reporters who have covered him, and they say he mangles French almost as badly as he does English. david |
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18 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM (#359507) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Gee, maybe the outcome of the war can be an arrainged marrage between Critien and GWB? - Larry |
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18 Dec 00 - 11:14 PM (#359572) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll Wouldn't work Larry. Even a Texan has SOME pride. troll ***ducking and running for cover*** |
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19 Dec 00 - 07:44 AM (#359691) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: mkebenn Dubya's as Texan as Ted Kennedy, why would we want Quebec, english and spanish are enough to deal with, and I live outside of Buffalo on the WRONG side of the lake in winter. Mike Bennett |
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19 Dec 00 - 01:49 PM (#359897) Subject: LATEST NEWS FROM THE FRONT From: NightWing AP - Reuters Sorry, folks. Just couldn't resist *G*
BB, |
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19 Dec 00 - 01:59 PM (#359907) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll Very gald you didn't. Best laugh I've had all day. Thank you. What a hoot. troll *ROTFLMAO* |
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19 Dec 00 - 02:01 PM (#359908) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll So gimme a break. It's hard to spell with tears of laughter in your eyes. troll |
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19 Dec 00 - 02:03 PM (#359913) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Amergin So what's the news from the Idaho Panhandle? I want news from home.... |
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19 Dec 00 - 02:42 PM (#359937) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Jimmy C > > > Subject: Canadian optimism. > > Clinton was sitting in his office when his telephone rang. > > > "Hello! Mr. Clinton," a strange accented voice said. "This is Tommy up Canada. Eh, I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!, eh" > > > "Well, Tommy " Clinton replied, "this is indeed important news! Tellme, how big is your army?" > > > "At this moment in time," said Tommy after a moment's calculation,thereis myself, my cousin Bob, my next door neighbour Bill, and the entire dominoes team from the pub - that makes eight! Eh" > > > Clinton sighed. "I must tell you Tommy that I have ten million men in my army, waiting to move on my command." > > > "I'll have to ring you back!" said Tommy.
Sure enough, the next day Tommy rang back. "Right Mr.Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment! Eh"
Sure enough,Tommy rang again the next day. "Right, Mr. Clinton, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultra light with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the hockey team has joine us as well! Eh"
"I'll have to ring you back." said Tommy
Sure enough, Tommy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Clinton, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.eh."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Clinton. "Why the sudden change of heart?" |
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19 Dec 00 - 02:52 PM (#359944) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Clinton Hammond2 LOL! Good one Jimmy! ;-) |
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19 Dec 00 - 03:00 PM (#359951) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Jim Krause Actually, as one Canadian once pointed out to me, the US and Candad already tried having a war, the War of 1812. It was pretty much of a draw, really. The Canadians captured Mackinaw Island, but we got it back in the treaty, Detroit changed hands a couple of times, Lundy's Lane was pretty much of a draw, the Canadians retained the field of battle, but both sides suffered pretty sever casualties. Nope, actually the only places where the US really came out ahead were the Battle of Lake Erie, and New Orleans. New Orleans may not count, technically since it was fought after the treaty was signed, and it pitted Andy Jackson's Americans against Packenham's English and Scots. All in all, I think it's probably a pretty bad idea. Nothing for either side to gain, eh? |
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19 Dec 00 - 03:33 PM (#359973) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: InOBU Hey guys, I think I have 't say JimmyC wins the war, eh? He really got the feel of it, eh? So, a Yankies Baseball hat and a Hamburger followed by Moose pie and a Molsens, or a Labat, eh? My hat is oof to ya fer sure. Cheers, Larry |
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19 Dec 00 - 05:14 PM (#360028) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll I just heard that Al Gore says that the idea for a war with Canada was his. We are awaiting confirmation of this report. troll |
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19 Dec 00 - 05:20 PM (#360034) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: NightWing Gee, that's surprising! I thought Al invented Canada. *LOL*
BB, P.S. I'm a Dem, but that don't mean I can't make fun of pomposity where I see it. *G* |
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19 Dec 00 - 10:31 PM (#360172) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Troll He may have. He keeps re-inventing himself so often it's kinda hard to tell what he really HAS done. troll |
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20 Dec 00 - 12:06 AM (#360205) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: ddw Good one, Jimmy C — but I have to admit when the hockey team joined the Canucks I figured Clinton would concede. ANY number of Canajuns with hockey sticks is dangerous..... LOL, David |
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20 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM (#360326) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Jimmy C I guess ss he could always have given the Notre dame Fighting Irish hockey sticks as well just to keep it even. There is a story of trying to start a hockey team at Notre dame, I think it was the football coach Knute Rockney (sp) who was against putting big sticks in the hands of Irishmen. |
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20 Dec 00 - 10:30 AM (#360385) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Steve Latimer Jimmy C, He'd probably seen a Hurling game. I grew up playing hockey and Lacrosse and Hurling (Hurley?) is the craziest game I've ever seen. |
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20 Dec 00 - 05:45 PM (#360631) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Jimmy C Steve, I played hurling for 13 years, averaging 3 games per week (weather permitting). I was only injured once, by an older brother who was on the opposing team. I would love to have played lacrosse and hockey, yet I would never race a car or motorcycle, bungee jump, parachute nor would I play cricket. If one were to get hit by a cricket ball then serios injury would result, that thing is hard. |
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21 Dec 00 - 11:25 AM (#361087) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: Irish sergeant My apologies about the American comment. It was ment A) in friendship and to B) note that we are all citizens of the american hemispheres (North and South America) not to imply any sort of domination by the United States. As a citizen of the US and an amateur student of out history, I must point out, that while the war seems to be a draw, the United States did lose the war. Victory in war (or any other diplomatic endevour) is defined as attaining your goals. American goals in the War of 1812 included settling boundry disputes with British North America, ending impressment of U.S. sailors, ending British aid to Native American warriors, Fishing rights disputes etc. Most of these issues were settled not by the war or the treaty of Ghent which ended it but rather by mutual discussion after hostilites had ceased and calmer heads prevailed. While American troops performed well in most instances. The majority of battles went to the British forces and the Canadian militiamen who fought with them. This is not to say that American troops were cowards. However, the leadership shown in the army for the most parts was inadequate. The calibre of the individual American fighting man was far better than the leadership they recieved. New Orleans was the one truely notable American victory. The Navy did well but was not equal to combatting the Royal Navy which was not only well manned but had experienced combat veterans. (As did the British Army) a result of almost fifteen years of conbtinual combat against French forces. The Americans werer fighting with the Native American tribes in their efforts to expand westward but were, as our history shows was usually the case, undermanned and unprpared to fight the war. Never mind the war, let's just sign a mutual assistance treaty. name a price and send us some decent beer. Happy holidays to all. Kindest reguards, Neil |
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21 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM (#361092) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: MMario well now that the Queen doesn't speak the Queen's English anymore, we might as well subvert the fearless poultry of the border patrol and raid the maple syrup bombs to make snow ice-cream |
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21 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM (#361104) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: NightWing Amusingly enough, the Internet Oracle™ just commented on this issue:
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. For more information about the Internet Oracle™, see The Internet Oracle™ Resource Index.
BB, P.S. I sure hope I didn't screw up the formatting on this *cross fingers* |
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22 Dec 00 - 08:37 AM (#361676) Subject: RE: The war betwn the US & Canada From: kendall Did you ever wonder why the state of Maine intrudes so far into Canada? |