To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=28760
21 messages

BS: Merry Christmas from Florida

18 Dec 00 - 09:23 PM (#359502)
Subject: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

CHRISTMAS IN THE FLORIDA PANHANDLE

A man stopped in a small Florida Panhandle town, and noted that there was a "Nativity Scene" which showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it One small feature bothered him -- the three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, he stopped at a convenience store on the edge of town, and asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.

She gently rebuked me with a smile, "You Damn Yankees! Ya'll never do read your Bible!"

The man assured her that he did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She lifted her well worn Bible from under the counter and quickly found the page she wanted. Holding it for me to see, she said, "Looky here, it rightly says, 'The three wise men came from afar.'"

Merry Christmas Y'all

troll


18 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM (#359504)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Mary in Kentucky

lol. I thought that happened ratcheer though.


18 Dec 00 - 09:27 PM (#359506)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: InOBU

Exxcceellllent!
How do you know if someone from Georgia wants a pen or a pin? Cheers, Larry


18 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM (#359508)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Mary in Kentucky

Oh that's simple Larry, one has two syllables.


18 Dec 00 - 09:33 PM (#359512)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: InOBU

Hmmmmm. Pen?


18 Dec 00 - 09:34 PM (#359514)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Mary in Kentucky

no silly, pi-uhn.


18 Dec 00 - 09:36 PM (#359516)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: InOBU

I am flummoxed! Well, I will just have to travel with a translator, local guide, or go to Berlitz!
Merry Christmas! - Larry


18 Dec 00 - 09:38 PM (#359519)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

Most times you just ask for a pin-sul or a bald pont.

troll


18 Dec 00 - 09:40 PM (#359520)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Mary in Kentucky

or a pinney, thankew.


18 Dec 00 - 09:41 PM (#359521)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: catspaw49

Also Larry, the word "pen" comes out more like "pehn" and is almost always preceded by the word "ink."

AND TROLL.......I'm sittin' here tryin' to figure out which is older.........you or that joke.(:<))

Spaw


18 Dec 00 - 09:43 PM (#359525)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: InOBU

Ah yes, just like to get REAL tea in the South, one has to ask for Hot tea!, As my father would say, "my... my... my..."
Larry


18 Dec 00 - 10:05 PM (#359541)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: CarolC

Idinit sumpm, how you like to prolly commite nigh to break down crine if you caint zackly find the thang you want to git for your kin for Christmas? 'Course, you can always "say it with flares".

Have a merry one yourself.

Carol


18 Dec 00 - 10:11 PM (#359543)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

ME 'Spaw. It mentions a "convenience store". We never had them when I was a boy.
Larry, REAL tea is pre-sweetened with sugar, has ice in it, and is called "swee'tea". HOT tea is for old ladies, Yankees and sick folks.

troll


18 Dec 00 - 10:11 PM (#359544)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

Lemon is optional.

troll


18 Dec 00 - 11:48 PM (#359588)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: paddymac

"Pi - uhn" is what most men folks is doin offen the back porch.


19 Dec 00 - 07:48 AM (#359692)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: mkebenn

Pan handle 'taint Florida, it's Weesianna.


19 Dec 00 - 08:02 AM (#359695)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

Look at a map. Yew gots to go threw Alabam AN Missisip afore yew gets to Weesianna.
Wasamatterthyew? Don' yew no jogerfy?

troll


19 Dec 00 - 08:27 AM (#359708)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: mkebenn

weesiania, gawga, mawsippi, albama, allasame..


19 Dec 00 - 08:36 AM (#359715)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: InOBU

I say Troll!
Tea, proper, black, strong tea, with owld sour milk, was good enough for the 35th foot (the Otways) when, in the rags supplied by their patron (the Otways) they faced hardship and noble death, facing cannon and muskit, bayonet and sword, thousands of miles from home and harth, sweating in heavy red wool in 90 degree summer, loosing toes in the bitter winter, with nought but love of King and fear of the lash, year after year of hardship, so that you might someday enjoy the freedom to vote for your leader (lets not get into that again!). Now if after that, you can put lemon and ice in your tea, well, in my book, it was a waisted effort, and we may have just as well fought harder so that you learned to be civilised - to drink hot tea in the summer and count the... no, I can't go there again!
Cheers
Larry Otway


19 Dec 00 - 11:36 AM (#359829)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Blackcatter

greetings

We know the Florida Panhandle as "L.A." here in Florida. - not Loosianna - Lower Alabama. By the way - when a Georgian asks for a pin or pen - it's really simple to figure out - we know that most true Georgians with can't write so they must be asking for something which to hold their overalls.

pax yall


19 Dec 00 - 02:29 PM (#359932)
Subject: RE: BS: Merry Christmas from Florida
From: Troll

Mike, it is NOT all the same as I shall illustrate forthwith.
A man is sitting in a bar working on his sixth drink when another man-of oriental persuasion- sits down beside him.
"Go 'way" mutteres the drunk.
"Whats wrong with you?", asks the second man.
"'Don like Japs.'Causa Pearl Harbor."
"Oh", says the man."Well, I"m not Japanese. I'm Chinese."
"Jap'nese, Chinese. "S all the same."
Well, you're Jewish, right?"
"Yeah. Sho what?"
?"Well you guys sank the Titanic."
"Whadya mean, we sank th' Titanic. Th' Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!"
ICEBERG, GOLDBERG; It's all the same".
Differences are crucial, Mike.

troll