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20 Dec 00 - 02:59 AM (#360240) Subject: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: The Shambles Wake up. |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:13 AM (#360247) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Ribbit "Greetings your friends and neighbors have chosen you..." At least thats what my draft notice said. |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:50 AM (#360256) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: John Hardly "...we'll have to lance that..." |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:57 AM (#360259) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Joe Offer Why haven't you finished that yet? |
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20 Dec 00 - 04:02 AM (#360260) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Ribbit "This flight has been overbooked" or "your flight has been delayed" especially at this time of year. |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:06 AM (#360281) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Troll "Some assembly required" "Batteries not included" "The car is making this funny noise" troll |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:21 AM (#360285) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte "I'm married" After he told me he was not. Little Neo |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:32 AM (#360291) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca " I have developed this itch/discharge in a very personal area, and I thought you ought to know right away." |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:45 AM (#360293) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Allan C. There's another Time/Life book that needs to be picked up at the post office. You have already won...(IF you send in the winning entry). (Doctor) Because of certain vitamin deficiencies you must eat a pint of brussels sprouts every day. Your computer's CD player has developed an odd glitch and is somehow only able to play Wayne Newton MP3's. Two thumbs up! (Give me a break...there just aren't that many good movies in the world.) Your call is important to us...There are 15 callers ahead of you. You may expect a 28-minute wait. I hope you didn't eat that. It was so old I was afraid to throw it out for the dog. Temperatures will remain in the single digits for the next six days. (Doctor) I've never seen or heard of anything remotely like that before. (Doctor) Whatever it is, it is spreading incredibly quickly. There is not sufficient memory available to run this program. |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:49 AM (#360294) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jock Morris "I'm sorry, but your Mum's dead." Five years ago today and it still hurts like hell. |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:02 AM (#360329) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: bigchuck Sigmoidoscopy |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM (#360337) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST There is three feet of snow..Buses are not running, however, school is open' Are you the head of the household ? Good Morning, This is Revenue Canada calling.
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20 Dec 00 - 09:21 AM (#360339) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: MMario the absolute worst.... Error 404 - file not found www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM (#360343) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Oh that's a good one MMario |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM (#360345) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Hello, is that Mr (mispronounces surname), I'm Trcaey/Wayne calling from **** doubleglazing..... RtS |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:32 AM (#360350) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Grab Proctologist. |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:40 AM (#360354) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: alison I assume you fellas don't like "awww, don't worry, it doesn't matter, I'm sure it happens to other men sometimes too." *grin* slainte alison |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:42 AM (#360356) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Kim C This won't hurt a bit. |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:45 AM (#360357) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler My surveyor would like to send your lawyer a card in return. He's not sure whether it will open or not, he can't guarantee that it is made of genuine cardboard and he hasn't checked any wiring, plumbing or drainage, if present. He doesn't know if it has paper mites or fungal infestation. He can't be held responsible for any loss or injury caused by his advice though he thinks it is worth about 50pence but advises you get your own surveyor to look at it. His bill is in the post. RtS |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM (#360360) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler I think I better check into the NYCFTTS over Xmas! I posted this to the WRONG thread! Back on the 3rd Jan, folks, have a good one. RtS |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM (#360361) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Crazy Eddie "Yes, your bum does look big in that!" "Ladies & Gentlemen, there is no cause for panic" "Enlisted person [insert name here], you will accompany Mr. Spok, Doctor McCoy, and me, to the surface of this apparantly safe & uninhabited planet" "We can still be friends"
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20 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM (#360367) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,big__bad__b There's a week until Christmas, and the mall roof collapsed. (I live in Sarnia On. If you haven's heard, this actually happened last week!!) |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:03 AM (#360402) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Midchuck "Our budget won't permit us to pay you anything for playing, but it's great exposure for you." P. |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM (#360405) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Kim C I'm from the Government - I'm here to help you. |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:08 AM (#360407) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Arkie "You can't miss it", after just giving directions. |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:15 AM (#360412) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler This is your Captain speaking... RtS |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:26 AM (#360421) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Sorcha "The United States Army regrets to inform you......." PAP smear. Mammogram. |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:29 AM (#360422) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Hollowfox Ooops... |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM (#360424) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Bill D "that part is back-ordered" |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:40 AM (#360428) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R "Let's be friends." |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:43 AM (#360432) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 "Hmmmm.......I'm afraid they should have repaired that mitral valve during the bypass." Spaw |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM (#360433) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST "It's malignant" |
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20 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM (#360456) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: MMario Error Occurred While Processing Request Error Diagnostic Information Error occurred while attempting to start service. Windows NT error number 1056 occurred. HTTP/1.0 200 OK Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 17:39:17 GMT Server: WebSitePro/2.5.4 Accept-ranges: bytes Content-type: text/html Expires: 0 Pragma: no-cache Cache-control: no-cache, no-store, must-revalidate
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20 Dec 00 - 01:04 PM (#360462) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Clinton Hammond2 Mudcat... |
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20 Dec 00 - 01:16 PM (#360468) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: annamill "Patrick was born with a coarctation of the aorta, a main artery coming out of the heart." In deferance to WesleyS. I'm thinking of ya. Love, annamill |
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20 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM (#360478) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: mousethief Re: kids ---Mom, make him stop doing that. ---The quarter grade doesn't matter because it doesn't show up on my transcript. ---We need to have a talk about your son.
Re: work
Re: spouse
Re: eating out
Re: the men in blue
Re: radio traffic reports Alex |
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20 Dec 00 - 02:06 PM (#360492) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: voyager "you have the right to remain silent" |
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20 Dec 00 - 02:09 PM (#360493) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri I think what Wes heard is way beyone "not nice," and goes into the realm of terrifying. Annamill, thanks for remembering him. I hope little Patrick is doing better today. On death announcements, the hospital called at 2:30 in the morning to tell me my mother had passed. I knew before I picked up the phone - why else would anyone call at 2:30 AM? I remember wondering how long they were going to beat around the bush before they got to it. They didn't. They told me right away, then stayed on the phone in case I had any questions. They also told me her heart apparently just stopped when she was asleep - no pain, no struggle. It's thread creep I know, but these things are just as "not nice" to say as they are to hear, Crazy Eddie, you'd think those enlisted guys on Star Trek would have figured it out by the end of the first season. "No Captain, sorry. You're going to beam me down there and the alien monster that doesn't show up on scanners because he's immitating a rock is going to appear out of nowhere and suck my brains out. I'll scream, you'll all come running, but...nope, no way am I going down to that planet!" |
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20 Dec 00 - 02:28 PM (#360507) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: CamiSu Oh Jeri! Here's a long hug! I'm so sorry, BUT I'm glad it seems that she did not suffer. (my Dad's passing was not so peaceful, so I know) And now I pray for you (and your mum and her next adventure) and Patrick. CamiSu |
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20 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM (#360514) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte "I want to seperate" "your dad died" "your mom died" "sorry, I can't help you" |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM (#360530) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: campfire "But..." campfire |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM (#360531) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: McGrath of Harlow "Don't panic"
"There's nothing to worry about but..."
"You're well enough to go back to work"
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20 Dec 00 - 03:28 PM (#360540) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Caitrin Re: school "What's not to get?" "It's not that hard!" "Due tomorrow." "Ecoute et repete, Catrine... Re: cars "It's the transmission." "Where's -this- go?" "Oops." Re: parents "Well, -life's- not fair." "When I say eleven, I mean -eleven-. Not 11:30, not 11:15..." "What were you -thinking-!?" You weren't. "You didn't forget the "How many times do I have to tell you...?" Re: Relationships "I have a girlfriend." "This just isn't working out." "I want to say I love you but I can't." "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bed?" Re: Space "I can't do that, Dave." |
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20 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM (#360541) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST After sending in a beer sample to the state lab for certification - "Dear Sir, we're sorry to inform you that your horse has diabetes !" |
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20 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM (#360569) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: SDShad "Here. Smell this." |
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20 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM (#360582) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Rowana (at work) "We expect to achieve these staff reductions through attrition." (My REALLY big communications company merged with another company in June which resulted in a combined workforce of 260,000 people. The exec officers want less people. You KNOW that tens of thousands will not be retiring! Guess what happens next.) Hiding under my desk with 4 1/2 months until I'm pension eligible, Rowana |
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20 Dec 00 - 04:54 PM (#360596) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Mickey191 Voice on phone,"Your Chimney's on fire." "You've got a flat." "I smell something burning" 'We'll only stay a few minutes." "I think it's broken" "oh, it won"t cost much." "Do you know how fast you were going?" |
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20 Dec 00 - 05:55 PM (#360642) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R From school: (and I quote) "I strongly suggest you improve your drawing ability." "The scale of your large leterform is so big that it doesn't leave much left to do interesting things with in the interaction between the two letterforms. I would suggest reducing the scale and going back into the investigation searching for greater interest in these compositions. These compositions are thin in interest. Centering one letterform in two out of three also stagnates the composition. UNACCEPTABLE." Oh, the life of an graphic art student!
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20 Dec 00 - 06:03 PM (#360649) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Clinton Hammond2 I did this to a chum once while cleaing out a house we were moving into.. he was upstairs, I was in the basement... He heard my voice come up torugh the the floor... "Hey Ev... does this look like an egg-sack to you?!?" ;-) |
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20 Dec 00 - 06:06 PM (#360650) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Melani "May I see your driver's license?" |
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20 Dec 00 - 06:15 PM (#360659) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: kendall How long have you worked here, not counting tomorrow? |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:28 PM (#360697) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca " We have to take the circular saw apart and try and find the fingers in case they can sew them back, and you have to supervise as the investigating Safety officer". |
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20 Dec 00 - 07:55 PM (#360703) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: McGrath of Harlow Matt R - but at least the buggers can't write good clear English can they? |
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20 Dec 00 - 08:41 PM (#360718) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Ha ha, I know! As I have said before, being an all-around grammar, I love messing around with graphic artista who can't use simple grammatical rules! But the teacher who wrote the above said having good graphic design skills as well as being an excellent in grammar will take you very far! I got the grammar...but I'm still working on the graphic part! But sometimes silence is something you don't want to hear either! When we have our crits in CA class, if someone doesn't even mention your piece....very bad news! |
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20 Dec 00 - 08:43 PM (#360719) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jim Dixon OK, Mr. Dixon, could you drop your shorts and turn around and bend over the examining table? Oops! Sorry, I guess we'll have to wait a little longer for that to go numb. Hello, Mr. Dixon. How are you today? … Did I catch you at a good time? Now, I don't want you to get alarmed. These things are usually not serious. We need to talk. I didn't think you'd mind. Will the owner of a red Honda Civic, license number . . .? |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:12 PM (#360730) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Micca, that one is beyond NOT nice, its gross. |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:27 PM (#360735) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 "Daddy I got a BBLLEEAAHH....***gack***....BBLLEAAHH.... Ihave to thro......BBLLEEAAHHHKK....cough..kuckuck.....BBLLEEAAHH... I'm sick....." Best I can do at a 5 year old coming into your bedroom and throwing up. Spaw |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM (#360736) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri Well, I'm in deep doo-doo. I owe people an apology. I wasn't very clear on what I wrote about my mom. I wrote "the hospital called at 2:30 in the morning," and I should have said that morning was 7 1/2 years ago. To those of you who expressed sympathy, it still means a lot to me. The time I went through back then was sheer hell. I was alone and handled everything on my own for the nearly two months she was in the hospital before her death, and what happened after it. I'm very sorry for causing anyone to feel bad - we've had too much pain here already, but I thank you for thinking of me. If I had had Mudcat and my friends here back then, I would have felt a lot less alone. |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:35 PM (#360743) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 Glad you came back Jeri.......I knew what you meant, but only because it had come up before and I thought about saying something to CamiSu but didn't feel right about me doing it. And I'm with you of course on the friends we have here........and we have had too much sadness of late. Spaw |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:38 PM (#360747) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: kendall Matt..shouldn't that have read "I HAVE the grammar"? |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:49 PM (#360764) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Song Dog NO! |
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20 Dec 00 - 09:53 PM (#360769) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri Thanks, Spaw. I feel incredibly stupid about this, and terrible about causing people to feel bad. I only suspected something wasn't right when I started getting sympathy messages on ICQ. CamiSu wasn't the only one who I misled. |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:00 PM (#360813) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Amos Words that are not nice to hear include "postmortem", "abeyance", "postprandial", "virulent", "herewith and hereafter and aforementioned", "legality", administrative, procedural, cowed, terror, and psychotic. Nasty rough or false little noises. "Appropriate" and "resolution" and "finalize" give me the vapors as well. A |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:28 PM (#360830) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Seamus Kennedy "Is it in?" All the best. Seamus |
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20 Dec 00 - 11:34 PM (#360831) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Sorcha uhhhh, true story here, Micca's post reminded me of a time some years back when I was Houskeeping in a hospital....and ER was on my rota. First we got in a patient who had lost a foot.......in a grain auger. You got it, lots of gore. I cleaned up the mess.....including wheat swollen by blood. Then we got in the grain truck that was recieving the augered grain.........not fun to hear "Housekeeping, to ER, please.." |
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21 Dec 00 - 07:34 AM (#360965) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Seamus, that was pretty funny. How about........'Oh shit, it broke' |
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21 Dec 00 - 09:19 AM (#361009) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Dave the Gnome And of course over here in England there are those words dreaded by drinkers everywhere... "Time gentlemen please" Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! |
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21 Dec 00 - 11:46 AM (#361105) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Noreen LOL Seamus!! Err, no, don't take that off... |
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21 Dec 00 - 12:15 PM (#361120) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: mousethief with THAT?! |
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21 Dec 00 - 12:26 PM (#361128) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jimmy C "Do you know any good lawyers ?" "The mechanic wants to speak to you". " Can you come into my office for a moment - right now !" " The last bus left 10 minutes ago" |
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21 Dec 00 - 12:30 PM (#361129) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jimmy C A few more ! "Does this make me look fat ?" "What age do you think I am ?" "My mother's coming for the holidays " |
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21 Dec 00 - 12:40 PM (#361135) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca Bonnie, Gross that might be but it was said to me some years ago,and I had to carry out the search....and start the investigation, then chair the inquiry... |
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21 Dec 00 - 12:53 PM (#361148) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Noreen What, AGAIN?? |
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21 Dec 00 - 06:56 PM (#361412) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Caitrin Micca, I have to ask...how on -earth- did someone manage to lose fingers on a circular saw? I mean, I can see it on a table saw; it's a bit -too- easy to lose fingers on those babies. But a circular saw? |
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21 Dec 00 - 07:09 PM (#361422) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Midget "Is IT in, yet?" |
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21 Dec 00 - 07:34 PM (#361439) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Cait....believe me, it is VERY VERY easy. |
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22 Dec 00 - 05:21 PM (#361918) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Irish sergeant Hi Boys and Girls! Words that aren't nice to hear? Where do I start. "We're going on a five day training cruise. Pack for six months." My division officer said those words right before we sailed for Operation Desert Storm. "State for the tribunal, your name, rank, serial number and duty station.." "This is for your own good" Any time I hear that I know the speaker is definately not interested in my wefare. "Business is slow. We have to let you go." "Man overboard! This is not a drill all hands report to their station for muster. I repeat..." "General Quarters! General Quarters! This is not a drill! all hands man your battle stations! Go up and forward on the starboard side! Down and afft on the port, This is not a drill!" There are other but I won't go there others have covered those topics. Jeri, please be assured you have created nop enemies here. I knew you weren't talking about the here and now because of the sensitive nature of the subject. My parents have both been dead for over thirty years and there isn't a day goes by that they aren't in my mind. My sympathy for your loss. Kindest reguards to all and a very happy holiday season, Neil PS- the last paragraph isn't part of our collabrative collection-Irish Sergeant. |
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23 Dec 00 - 01:28 AM (#362168) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) When have I ever lied to you before? There's always a few parts left when we put it back together. Step out of the car, sir! Rich |
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23 Dec 00 - 03:37 AM (#362188) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Martin Graebe Darling, we've got to meet. I've got something important to tell you! |
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23 Dec 00 - 04:48 AM (#362190) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: widowmaker "We need to talk" |
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23 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM (#362285) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Firecat I definately think that, with the length of time me and my boyf. have been together (Nearly 4 years!) "It's over" wouldn't be very nice. I think I've also got him to join Mudcat but I'll have to check in January!! |
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23 Dec 00 - 06:05 PM (#362425) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,NH Dave From your boss to you as the Chief of Safety "Hey, Dave, you know that can crusher we put in the hall outside of the XXXXX? Well, you better come on down here."
Cait, it is even easier to loose a couple of fingers in a simple manually operated can crusher, believe me!
And then the next user discovered that we had not considered the possibility of the finger ends still being in the bottom of the can crusher, calling to ask me to come down and see what he found in the bottom of the can crusher. Dave |
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23 Dec 00 - 06:36 PM (#362438) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Don Firth When your barber/dentist/doctor says "Oops!" When a friend slips a business card partway under the bridge saddle of your expensive classic guitar and says, "Hmm . . . looks like it's coming unglued from the soundboard." When the last two words in a six page opinion from the Washington State Appellate Court says of a ruling made by the Superior Court of King County, "decision reversed." (There's a story behind that one, but it's not over yet.) Don Firth |
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23 Dec 00 - 06:38 PM (#362440) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Dave Wynn It's no use talking to him about his driving officer...It goes in one ear and out the other when he's pissed....! |
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23 Dec 00 - 06:44 PM (#362443) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Zebedee "Sit down, I'm sorry to have to say this, but tests show that it's a malignant cancer" |
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23 Dec 00 - 06:44 PM (#362444) Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Zebedee "Sit down, I'm sorry to have to say this, but tests show that it's a malignant cancer" |