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29 Dec 00 - 12:15 PM (#365117) Subject: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Rick Fielding After two and a half years of independant thread topic thinking, I find that once a week someone here says something in another discussion that (to me) cries out for it's own little corner of Mudcat. I hope this one does. Although I'd spoken to them briefly on the phone, meeting Heather's parents in person was quite traumatic for me...for the following reasons: 1. We'd already decided to get married, so if they DID have objections, it would have made for an awkward situation. 2. They live in Glasgow, and speak sort of the way that Little John Cameron WRITES! They may have had some trouble understanding my Canadian accent, 'cause for a while her Mother thought I was a JEWELER! (rather than a folksinger!!) 3. The wedding was set for three days afer we'd arrived in Scotland, so I didn't have much time to charm them into thinking that I actually had PROSPECTS! During the plane ride over, I removed my earring, put on a tie, re-combed my new haircut, and memorized four generations of Fielding family accomplishments, including University degrees, service in Public office, total absence of jail time, and in general, an exemplary family tree. Everything to disguise the fact that THIS leaf had fallen FAR from it's original roots. 4. Oh, perhaps most intimidating was the knowledge that my future sister AND brother-in-law were both COPS! Decided to downplay my leftist politics and picket-line activities. "The big meeting" I wasn't dripping with sweat upon leaving the plane, but I WOULD have been more comfortable with a guitar in hand. No need to have worried at all though. Tom and Joan Docherty (with sister Linda) welcomed me with big smiles.......and within about an hour, the wedding was just something that was going to happen in between Fish and Chips, Indian food, and visits to gretna green. My big discussion with her Dad (can I retroactively have your daughter's hand...?) took 25 seconds. Tom said "If yerrr guid enough frae oor Heather, yerr guid enough frae oos!" At first I was a bit hurt that he showed no interest in my plans, my family, my politics or religion (THAT would have been interesting!) but I was later told by Heather's sister "Oh no, he would have thought it was RUDE to ask personal questions!" Meeting the folks for the first time ended up being a perfectly positive memory, but I know it doesn't ALWAYS work out that way. Anything to share? Rick (happy New Year Folks) |
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29 Dec 00 - 12:41 PM (#365132) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Wesley S About 16 years before I met my wonderful wife I proposed marrage to another woman. When we met the parents her own mother pulled my aside and asked my if I knew what I was doing. I wish I had listened to her. That woman was nuts and her mother thought so too. I eventually figured it out. |
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29 Dec 00 - 01:14 PM (#365145) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Mary in Kentucky Today is my 29th anniversary. When Hubby traveled three hours to my home to give me an engagement ring at Christmastime, all the formidable relatives were lined around the den in chairs waiting for his arrival. My six-year-old nephew met him at the door and hit him at the level a six-year-old would. Then my dad, sensing his pain, invited him over to the kitchen area for a raw oyster. Hubby had never eaten an oyster on a cracker before, so bit into it, much to Daddy's delight. Then, the trooper that Hubby is, he smiled and asked for another. After that, things went a little smoother. |
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29 Dec 00 - 01:20 PM (#365149) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Amergin Well, Happy Anniversary, Mary!!! Here's to another 29 years!!! My parents just celebrated their 18th anniversary on the twenty first.... Amergin |
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29 Dec 00 - 01:28 PM (#365157) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: GUEST,Russ Rick, how could you!!!??? Removed earring!!! Wore tie!!! You are certainly old enough to know better.!!! Anyway, 33 years ago my future (and still) wife and I could have cared less what her parents thought about our impending nuptials. Not caring about our elders' opinions was part of our job description at the time. We felt that they should consider themselves lucky that we were actually going to be old fashioned enough to make our relationship "legal". I've always felt she was somewhat disappointed that they didn't make a fuss about me, my hair, my beard, or my politics. I could tell that they weren't wildly enthusiastic about me or the marriage but had resigned themselves to their fate. I am pretty sure that they thought we were getting married because she was pregnant (she wasn't and we knew it) and were trying to make the best of a bad situation. Her parents gradually became two people I dearly loved and I miss them now as much as I miss my own parents. |
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29 Dec 00 - 01:29 PM (#365158) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: MMario Have a couple experiences with bringing girls home to meet relatives (none ever got to the point of meeting parents) - but LOTS of experience from the other side...we always figured that if meeting the family didn't scare them off then at least they had courage! (Most of my in-laws are single children or one of two. We had nine in the family. ) And it has been fun meeting the dates of the niece and nephew I live with...heh-heh-heh! |
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29 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM (#365166) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: catspaw49 I will enjoy reading this one!!! I'll simply say that Karen's family was pretty dysfunctional so I met various ones at different times. Also, like Rick, I was older (36) so it wasn't like being 21 or something I met her biological Dad, Jim, first. Karen hadn't met him til she was 18 and they had developed a wonderful relationship. It was summertime in Atlanta and when we arrived at his place, I was surprised to see Santa Claus wearing shorts and a T-shirt, smoking a pipe, and sitting in a recliner. This turned out to be Jim. Now Jim had been married 7 times and was a lovely man who just loved women......but not always for long. Karen said, "Dad this is Pat and we're getting married." She explained that we had only met a few days before and to Jim this sounded completely natural. He looked at me, looked at her and said, "Like father, like daughter." I then met her Mom's second husband, George, the "Dad" that had raised her. He and Karen were never real close and her half sister Karolyn was his doted upon favorite. After introductions and explanations of our plans, the FIRST THING her Dad said to me was, "Have you met my daughter Karolyn?"....and proceeded to whip out several pictures of her!!! What the fuck do you say to an asshole like that? George and Jim were about as far apart in personality as you could get so meeting Karen's Mom who had been married to both was "entertaining." The other thing with her Mom is that Karen is 9 years younger than I and her Mom is 9 years older.....so when she referred to me as "son" it was a problem. Karen's grandparents who had raised her to a great degree were the "parental meeting" that we all think about and dread. They were wonderful, kind, caring, and loving folks and it went beautifully even Ed's talk with me about how I was to treat his girl! They're both gone now and are greatly missed by both of us. Spaw
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29 Dec 00 - 02:27 PM (#365182) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Matt_R Damn this is painful for me today. |
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29 Dec 00 - 03:05 PM (#365203) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: McGrath of Harlow Matt, if that means you're nerving yourself to meet some such, don't worry. Just don't let yourself go wild if they say something diparaging about a musician you admire! (This may be difficult.)
And if you're smarting after an encounter, worry even less. My wife Anne's parents grew to like me in time, but I shudder to think what I think they thought of me when they first met me...A very long time ago that was/ |
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29 Dec 00 - 03:19 PM (#365212) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Matt_R No no no...you don't understand. A 3rd party is trying to destroy our relationship. And there is nothing I can do. |
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29 Dec 00 - 03:39 PM (#365232) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Rick Fielding Russ, (about the earring and tie) yer right, I was a craven coward! Avoiding the responsibilities of (legal) marriage til the age of 41 can do that to you! I simply thought I would NEVER tie the knot. Got along so well with several live-in exes, I figured I made a better "best friend" than husband. To my shock (I almost passed out!) Heather proposed to me on about our third day together, and something in my head said, "Yeah! This is right." Boy it sure was. Luckiest day of my life. Hey Spaw, I think (other than the pipe) I'm a lot like Jim. He knew she was makin' a good move! Wesley, I had an experience SOMETHING like yours. My mother once cornered me and said (about the gorgeous charasmatic woman I was living with at the time) "Rick, be careful...she wants to change you...A LOT!" At the time I didn't recognize it, but oh boy was Mom right. Rick |
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29 Dec 00 - 06:17 PM (#365323) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Richard Bridge Matt - if the third party succeeds, you are better off, thanks to his/her success. And if the third party does not succeed you may still be better off, thanks to the concomitant failure. |
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29 Dec 00 - 06:20 PM (#365326) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Matt_R Richard, the 3rd party is a anal-retentive insane sicko control freak asshole. I willNOT be better off. And neither of us are going to let him succeed. |
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29 Dec 00 - 06:23 PM (#365328) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Mrrzy I love these scenes in movies... and especially dinner party ones. Don't ask why, but with a dinner party scene most movies get an extra half-star... but the best of these that I can think of right now was in "Brazil" -- anybody remember THAT one? |
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29 Dec 00 - 06:46 PM (#365340) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Sorcha Strange--I can't remember the first time I met his parents, so it must not have been too traumatic! I remember when I met the Mr. though....he was a friend of my brothers, and roared up in the driveway on a Harley Sportster to see if my brother wanted to go for a ride.(Bub had a bike too) Bub said, "Sis, this is Brian". Brian said "You wanna ride". A month later we were engaged, and married 3 mos after that. Was 27 years ago....sheesh. |
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29 Dec 00 - 07:11 PM (#365354) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: McGrath of Harlow And that's straight out of a movie too, Sorcha. A good movie. |
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29 Dec 00 - 07:29 PM (#365370) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Micca Imagine a Folk festival( Uk , Towersey) Sunday morning, 11 am, before the pubs open, I have the HANGOVER of all time, and look like a recently resurrected corpse... and my future in-laws arrive( from Canada on a UK tour) and meet me for the first time... Luckily, we got on ok... |
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29 Dec 00 - 08:19 PM (#365390) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Elise Mike took me to dinner at his parent's house. Someone had killed a deer, and ma made burgers out of it. I wasn't thrilled, and it was worse when she put them on the table and announced "come and get your bambi burgers!". Ick. (Turns out this same woman told my brother-in-law when he was four that they were having Big Bird for Thanksgiving dinner.) Then they tried to get me to slide over on a splintery bench for giggles (I'd done that before and knew better). Sometime in the middle of the meal my soon-to-be mother-in-law looked at me and exclaimed "I've always wanted a grand daughter!" I nearly choked to death on a bambi burger. We hadn't even discussed marriage, and he hadn't brought me to meet the folks 'cause I was in a family way. They turned out to be OK people, and they're certainly interesting to be around. Visiting with people who have such distinctive senses of humor is never boring! |
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29 Dec 00 - 08:48 PM (#365397) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Little Neophyte When I brought my first boyfriend over to our home for Friday night sabbath dinner I thought I'd never lived to see another day. I was dating a disc jockey at the time, Izzy Weinberg. Well...... he was Jewish but it didn't score many points though. Neither did the full leather suit jacket and pants Izzy wore with thick gold chains around his neck or the reflective sunglasses he did not take off at the dinner table. My dad and I did not speak to each other for about one year after that evening. He 'cut me off' until Izzy and I broke up. After that I just never bothered bringing my boyfriends home. Little Neo |
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29 Dec 00 - 09:58 PM (#365418) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Melani After my husband met my mother for the first time he told me, "Your mom is a very nice lady, and if I had to live with her for any length of time, I'd kill her." Having already lived with her myself for an extended period, I could see his point. Later they spent several months in the same household on several occasions, and I'm happy to report that both are still alive. So am I. |
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29 Dec 00 - 10:21 PM (#365436) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Rick Fielding Bonnie, fun story! I started seeing a Jewish gal once who had the ability to drop bombs virtually everytime we met. First was her occupation...researcher for Canada's TV sex therapist (!!) Second was her admission that for our first two dates she had used a FALSE NAME (til she found out if I was OK!?). Third was that she was also seeing a Jewish guy at the same time, and was wondering if I'd ever thought of CONVERTING! (I'm NOT making this up) Now don't ask me why there even WAS a fourth date, but there was, and she said "instead of a restaurant I want you to come home and meet my father....but tell him that you've no objection to our kids being raised Jewish"!! Kids!? Converting!? Sex expert!!!? I ran like Hell! Fortunately Heather didn't mind if I was an Atheist who didn't want children. Although I often wonder what stories I would have taken away from the meeting with the other lady's father. Rick |
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30 Dec 00 - 01:48 AM (#365516) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: roopoo I was 18, and studying art for A-level (= hippy). It was 1970. I was invited to meet Ian's sister and widowed mother for Sunday tea. So I dutifully put on the dress with the demure white collar and stayed respectable all afternoon. Two days later she came home from work to find me yet again at her house. This time I was on my knees on the garage floor, in my usual ripped jeans and up to my wrists in oil, fishing broken bits of cam-gear out of his bike's sump. She got used to me before she sadly died in 1978, but I'm still the oddball in the family to some extent! Ian proposed after 4 months of dating, and as I was still at school I was terrified of telling my parents. But after a week, it was all getting too much, so Ian took my dad to the pub and formally asked for my hand. My dad apparently said that as long as he could keep me in the manner to which I was not accustomed, he was welcome! (My mum just even now keeps asking what happened to the young lad who so politely told her, "Thank you for my nice tea"). Now we are in the position of being the parents. Scary! I have one in a long term relationship, and another that has a harem! Luckily the 14 year old is "off" blokes at the moment. Andrea |
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30 Dec 00 - 08:29 AM (#365579) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Peg two words: food poisoning. We broke up eventually, anyway. His mother still did his ironing for him, put out Easter baskets for her sons (aged 24, 20 and 17) and referred to his teenage brother as "my little honey bun"....ick. |
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30 Dec 00 - 03:13 PM (#365776) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Liz the Squeak I met Manitas' parents on Christmas Day, 1989.... they didn't mind when I swore at the telly (Crocodile Dundee again) and we got engaged 10 days later. I have completely blanked what happened when he met my parents. Probably just as well. LTS |
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30 Dec 00 - 05:05 PM (#365821) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Little Neophyte After I broke up with the disc jockey I started seeing the bouncer who worked at the same night club as Izzy. My new boyfriend also worked with his dad in a wrestling show. His dad wrestled a black bear and my boyfriend played the role of referee. Like I said, there was no way I was bringing another boyfriend home so I took my girlfriend to the wrestling arena to watch the show and meet my new guy. My girlfriend wouldn't let me leave the area that evening until I broke up with him. You know how as you get older and wiser your partners are supposed to improve in quality. Well in my case they kept on getting worse. Bonnie |
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30 Dec 00 - 06:41 PM (#365870) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: GUEST A good friend of mine was fond of saying, "Death is natures way of getting inlaws off your back." ***BIG SMILE*** |
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30 Dec 00 - 07:12 PM (#365892) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: catspaw49 .......uh, Bonnie.........We need to talk. Do you go after these guys or what? Are you over it? Need some help? Just kiddin'........You've had some interesting characters though. Spaw |
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30 Dec 00 - 07:35 PM (#365903) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Little Neophyte I guess I was determined to drive my father crazy. Did a good job too. Bon
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30 Dec 00 - 07:42 PM (#365908) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Amergin THat's good, Bonnie.....you drive a bunch of us crazy.....must be very good at it... |
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31 Dec 00 - 11:23 AM (#366225) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Rick Fielding Relax Bonnie, now that you've entered the mellow world of 'drop thumb' banjo fanatics, the weirdest people you'll meet will be those who play Gibsons rather than Vegas. Much safer than "bear wrasslers". Rick |
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31 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM (#366236) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: GUEST,CLETUS Miz Bonnie, I dunno nuthin' bout bein no bear rassler but iffen yur into summa thet bare rasslin, than Ime yur boy. CLETUS |
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31 Dec 00 - 04:42 PM (#366388) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: sophocleese My husband met my parents before he met me. When we decided to become engaged he was adamant that he had to ask my Dad's permission. So he nervously asked my Dad who replied, "Why are you asking me?" As turnabout is fair play I refused to marry him until I had asked his mother for his hand. She was enthusuatic, I'm not sure if they still are. |
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31 Dec 00 - 04:54 PM (#366401) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Nynia Well my one wasn't meeting parents it was meeting my (at that time) partners Aunt Cathy. Now I'd heard so much about Cathy it made my head spin, she was quite a character, married five times. When Gilly and I went up to meet her I was (of course) on my best behaviour , and politely proferred my hand saying "Pleased to meet you Mrs Campbell." To which she replied (Somewhat indignantly), "I'm not Mrs Campbell." You can imagine my horror I've got the wrong bloody surname (thinks I). Milliseconds of personal horror followed until she added, "I'm not Mrs. Campbell, I'm Auntie Cathy." What a relief. I've got to say there are stories a-plenty about Cathy, like the time she handed me an old guitar with three rusted strings and said "Do you think you can get a tune out of this?" (This in the middle of a traditional Glasgow family party) Unfortunately she's passed on now, but she always had a thing about straightening out Freddie Mercury if she got the chance. I know all of her family have visions of her chasing him around heaven jumping from cloud to cloud. Nynia :-) -) ) |
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01 Jan 01 - 01:02 PM (#366756) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Rick Fielding The most harrowing "parents of girlfriend" meeting I ever had happened a few years ago. Her father was 3 years older than me!....and looked 10 years younger than he really was! Fortunately Dyanne often brought home "older" men, so he may have been pissed, but not surprised. Problem was that he and his wife had raised three overly "mature" daughters. They spoke, thought, and acted way beyond their years, so they all hung out with guys 20 years their senior. Long evening though! Rick |
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02 Jan 01 - 08:03 AM (#367031) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: alison first time I met hubby's parents.... I was invited for dinner... Mark's mum asked "is there anything alison doesn't eat?"........... he told her "eggs"........ so I was a bit surprised when she sat me down to a big plate of quiche......... not meaning to offend I did try to eat it....... but after about 2 mintues she realised.... I'm not sure which of us was more embarassed...... slainte alison
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02 Jan 01 - 12:23 PM (#367074) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: GUEST,Russ 41!!!!???? I thought you were closer to my age. Much closer. I take it back. You are NOT too old to know better. I'd have done the same at that age. |
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02 Jan 01 - 01:45 PM (#367146) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Diva I knew my(soon to be ex) father in law before I knew my(soon to be ex) husband...not in the Biblical sense you understand. Father in Law to be was going out with one of my friends(keep up at the back..she was in her 50's yes a lot older than me). His wife..my future ma in law very seldom came to festivals,so usually this was a fine arrangement. However, as they (father in law and girlfriend) were walking arm in arm along the street,he mentioned wifie was actually somewhere in the vicinity,so just save their embarressment I grabbed his other arm and thus we strolled quite merrily. Til we turned a corner and ran slap bang into the wife and her two cronies (Macbeths 3 witches had nothing on these 3). Well as you can imagine her face was a picture and father in law carried of with great aplomb. |
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02 Jan 01 - 04:08 PM (#367236) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: DougR Too painful to recollect, Rick. It was disastrous. DougR |
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02 Jan 01 - 04:53 PM (#367260) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Irish sergeant Meeting Peggy's parents for the first time? MAny beers ago, my friends. We were in school at the time. and they thought I was shiftless. Hell, I thought I was shiftless. We lasted a year by which time I was in the navy and her father haad passed on. We broke up much to my mother-in-law's relief. Fifteen years later, we got back together and married three years later. WOuldn't trade Peg or my mother-in-law. Kindest reguards, NEil |
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03 Jan 01 - 02:12 PM (#367912) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Naemanson In 1976 my girlfriend was attending Southern Maine Vocational Technical College and I was attending Saint Francis College. I met her in December of 1976, and moved in with her the following February. Her parents lived in Key West Florida so there was little chance of them finding out she was living with a man. This is key to this story. Her parents were tight ass conservatives somewhere to the right of Rush Limbaugh. Her father was a Master Chief in the Navy with over 35 years of service. Everything was cool. We lived in a building with six apartment all full of college kids. There was a rolling party that ran from apartment to apartment. Our own apartment included me, my girlfriend, another female roommate, and her three year old daughter. My sister lived upstairs with another couple. The weed supply was in the coal cellar in the basement. And then she realized that her mother was coming to visit to see her only daughter graduate and would expect to stay in her apartment. At first she tried to get me to move out. I refused. Then she made a tearful call to her mother to explain that their "virgin" daughter was shacked up with a man. The graduation weekend is one I will never forget. Have the occupants of the building were graduating and we turned out a hell of a party to see them off. Our roommate got drunk and seduced the teacher she had been lusting after all semester. We had a bonfire in the back yard and my mother was down there drinking with the rest of the crowd. In the middle of it her mother arrived. Her first words to me are burned into my brain, hardwired into ROM. "If you get my daughter pregnant I'll shoot you with my shotgun!" Our relationship went downhill from there! |
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03 Jan 01 - 04:54 PM (#367986) Subject: RE: When you first met her/his parents! gasp From: Susan from California Keith and I went to Meet the Parents in Kentucky *after* we were married, so there wasn't much any of us could do about it. We left Southern California right after final exams in early June. June in CA is cool and dry. We got off of the plane in Nashville, where the heat and humidity slam you in the face and make you feel as if it is hard to catch a breath. When we were driving to Kentucky, his parents sat in the front seat, Keith & I in the back. His Dad was a chain smoker, so there was always a cigarette in his mouth. He had such a thick accent, that it was difficult to understand him. Since he HAD to keep his cigarette in his mouth, I couldn't understand a word! So he would say somethhing, and I would look at Keith and he would translate. I'm glad that we spoke the same language, because sometimes I could pick up what he was saying, but not often. :-) |