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BS: Cringe Love

23 Apr 01 - 12:23 PM (#447366)
Subject: Cringe Love
From: Mrrzy

Heard a hysterical bit on NPR last night, did anyone else catch it? It was about things that make you cringe, like really, really embarrassing stories. Then it switched to specifically talking about cringe love, and how women truly enjoy telling stories of the (incredibly stupid and embarrassing) things they've done for their loved ones, whereas men don't. Some of the cringe love stories made me feel a LOT better about my past idiocies... anyway, are there any songs about embarrassment? Did anyone else catch this piece on the radio? Does anyone else notice any gender differences along this line? For instance, I was once in a terrible health situation in Africa, which I now am glad happened because it makes such a great story. And I didn't die, there were no real negative consequences - but I have a (male) friend who cannot understand that attitude... what about y'all?


23 Apr 01 - 12:25 PM (#447367)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Matt_R

I'm still not sure I understand....me don't like to tell embarrassing stories about themselves?


23 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM (#447375)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: catspaw49

I think Matt meant "men" and not "me." Anyway, that may be somewhat true and a lot of comedians have made their name on the differences between men and women, but if you take a look at most of the males around Mudcat, I think you'll find that it's pretty well hogwash around here. Most of us are pretty adept at telling stories on ourselves and on the stupid stuff we've done, male and female alike.

Spaw


23 Apr 01 - 12:33 PM (#447377)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Matt_R

Thanks Spaw, that's what I meant alright.

Just ask JenEllen about me and the "breast story". Talk about embarrassing!


23 Apr 01 - 12:35 PM (#447379)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Bert

You speak for yourself Spaw. I've never done anything embarrassing. (Not that I can remember at least)


23 Apr 01 - 12:39 PM (#447384)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: mousethief

My whole first marriage is one big long cringe love story.

To bring it back to music, "The things we do for love..."

Alex


23 Apr 01 - 02:29 PM (#447474)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Mrrzy

I was actually seeking songs about embarrassment, whether about love or anything else. And yes, there was a strong gender difference in the willingness to tell stories that make the storyteller look bad. Not my experience with men either, on the Mudcat or off it. Very little is funnier than someone ELSE's really embarrassing story... and some of what these people did was to howl over, like the woman whose boyfriend became a Hare Krishna while they were dating, and she didn't think anything of it at the time, until she found herself ironing 25 feet of dhoti... but where are the SONGS commemorating such idiocy? Even in "the things we do for love" they don't hit these lows... do they?


23 Apr 01 - 02:44 PM (#447490)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Amergin

hmmm.....

When I was single, oh then, oh then
When i was single, oh then
When I was single my money did jingle
I wish I was single again

I married me a wife, oh then, oh then
I married me a wife, oh then
I married me a wife, she's the bane of my life
I wish I was single again

yeah I know that wasn't quite what you were looking for, Mrrzy......as for idiocy....let me see....there are those songs like Jack Monroe where the woman goes off to war to follow her love...or to stalk him....

Then there are those songs where a woman will stay true for seven years, even though all accounts say he's dead....when he comes walking into her garden.....


23 Apr 01 - 02:47 PM (#447494)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Karen

...and she NEVER recognizes him after only seven years! How much can a guy physically change in seven years?


23 Apr 01 - 02:48 PM (#447496)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Wavestar

Christine Lavin - What was I thinking?

A truly hysterical song, particularly performed live.

-J


23 Apr 01 - 02:51 PM (#447501)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Amergin

Oh and there is the truly tragic song...Lily of the Net which is in the dt....


23 Apr 01 - 03:25 PM (#447521)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Wavestar

Bog, sod, damn and all evil that arises between the sorry union of computer and internet. Calling a helpful Joeclone to make it so I don't look so dumb...

-J


23 Apr 01 - 06:56 PM (#447669)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Amergin

I don't know, Karen....maybe he had a very bad case of syphilis....


23 Apr 01 - 09:34 PM (#447761)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Karen

Well, maybe that explains why in most songs she then faints when she figures out who he really is....


23 Apr 01 - 11:03 PM (#447811)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: WyoWoman

I heard this piece and also absolutely loved it. However, many of my cringiest stories don't involve men at all -- they only took ME, all by my lonesome, to be cringey. Like the time *I* almost became a Hare Krishna, but decided that I'd look like hell with my head shaved when I couldn't wear my contacts, and that that color of orange simply wasn't on my chart.

Sometimes my spiritual depth astounds me ... ww


24 Apr 01 - 03:49 AM (#447903)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Amergin

Rofl! WyldWoman!

Of course I have never done anything foolish....but I have plenty of years left in me to do so.....


24 Apr 01 - 04:04 AM (#447905)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: sledge

Amergin, is there such a thing as a good case of syphilis??

:)

Sledge


24 Apr 01 - 12:42 PM (#448229)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST

...what's the song by the Dead, ("Mexicali Blues?") about the man betrayed by the beguiling woman:

Is there anything a man don't stand to lose
If the devil wants to take it all away?

Mexicali Blues lyrics


24 Apr 01 - 05:32 PM (#448433)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Claymore

Now Mrrzy, you remember that there were also some cringe stories about men, but just not about love. The story about the nerdy high school graduate actually thanked a teacher who spent his whole senior year phychologically abusing him was true cringe, although I think guys sometimes do that as part of a "That which doesn't kill me, makes me stronger" view of abuse. And remember that the narrative pointed out that some women tell cringe stories as part of a bonding exprience that equate to the "Bootcamp bonding" process that men go through.

Nonetheless, men has cringe stories too, though they often relate them as what they had to do to get their tubes cleaned. My favorite involves a friend of mine who spent the night at a drunken party and woke up in bed with a strange, but much aroused woman next to him. When he pulled the covers back to "close for action" he discovered she was a dwarf, and he had spent the entire previous night dancing on his knees with her.


25 Apr 01 - 12:08 PM (#449087)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: Mrrzy

Amergin, great suggestions.

Claymore, perhaps you can explain - I didn't find that story at all embarrassing! I though it was great that he did that! What did I miss? And your other comment, I get the impression (gross overgeneralization coming up) that women enjoy telling about their relatioships, whereas men enjoy LYING about their relationships. Maybe they don't do cringe love stories as who would make something like that up?

Also, how did lifting the covers tell him he'd been dancing on his knees, pray tell?


25 Apr 01 - 12:12 PM (#449093)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Matt_R

For some reason, I can see this as the title of a song. A real rockin' rouser..."CRINGE LOVE! (riff) CRINGE LOVE! (riff) CRINGE LOVE!".


25 Apr 01 - 01:52 PM (#449179)
Subject: RE: BS: Cringe Love
From: GUEST,Claymore

Mrrzy, As I read your response it appears somewhat of a two part question/statement. Yes, I do believe that some men will lie about their past relationships though I don't believe they necessarily enjoy it. I suspect that it may be to further an existing relationship, or to bury a past one. The old saying that men use affection to get sex, while women use sex to get affection may apply. But be that as it may, I'm not sure that that statement applies to the concept under discussion, "Cringe Love".

My comment was to note that even if you saw the young man in the radio narrative who thanks his abusive teacher as "great," I think that, short of some religious philosophy "Turn the Cheek" kind of response, his actions were of the "cringe" variety, and would be to most males. The facts I relied upon were that:

1. The teacher had repeated abused him throughout his senior year, embarassing him, misleading him, and threating him with a failing grade even when he did well.

2. At the end of the year he had a clear shot at her, no repercussions, he's already in college and she is fair game for a massive retailiation. Yet all he can think of doing at the time is to thank her for not hurting him further. The narrative did not mention any adherence to religious or spiritual beliefs, nor to any desire to simply put this past him, only that he could not think of anything else to do.

Darwin awards animals who think like that with a specific role in life, "Prey species".

I'm sorry I wasn't clearer about the story of my sailor friend with the dwarf; his buddies relayed the information to him upon returning to the ship. And when he told the story around a campfire, nobody said anything, but everyone sucked back a beer, and stared at the fire... until the next guy started a story about the chinese basket job that barfed all over him.