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very very bored off-topic rambilngs

16 May 01 - 10:17 AM (#463717)
Subject: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,emily-o

*daed*

***

la la la la la

quack

what *is* the problem with french teachers these days???

ho hum.

muh oh.

???syad eseht srehcaet hcnerf htiw melborp eht *si* tahw

kcauq

al al al al al

***

*dead*


16 May 01 - 10:22 AM (#463722)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Murray MacLeod

.ydal, pleh deen uoY

yarruM


16 May 01 - 10:25 AM (#463727)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D

If a hen and a half could lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?


16 May 01 - 10:28 AM (#463729)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant

Two ferrets.
Kris


16 May 01 - 10:30 AM (#463733)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo

It depends on which leg was wooden


16 May 01 - 10:31 AM (#463734)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick

I'll see your two ferrets and raise you a bag of flatulence....

kciM giB


16 May 01 - 10:40 AM (#463744)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: catspaw49

And of course if you take cranberries and stew them like prunes, they taste much more like applesauce than rhubarb does.

Something to consider.

Spaw


16 May 01 - 10:42 AM (#463747)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario

is the pickle incandescent or fluorescent? Polish, kosher, dill or sweet? need the facts.


16 May 01 - 10:42 AM (#463748)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R

Well SOMEONE is a cynic!


16 May 01 - 10:45 AM (#463752)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dharmabum

No sir,the enlisted men just ride him into town.

DB.


16 May 01 - 10:47 AM (#463756)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant

I'll take your bag of flatulance and squeeze it between my ample thighs until it bursts - bang-pong.

Kris


16 May 01 - 10:48 AM (#463757)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant

.......
It worked on the ferrets - never had no more trouble from them...

Kris


16 May 01 - 10:49 AM (#463759)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU

and all of this and more can be seen at Hugh O'Lunny's Times Sq. Pub THIS SUNDAY, when Sorcha Dorcha will bring the best and oldest and most well loved non-sequitors in Celtic music! Be there or lay and egg! Lerglohish


16 May 01 - 10:55 AM (#463764)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg

Hell of a thing having a creative mind, ain't?

~S~


16 May 01 - 11:00 AM (#463771)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU

Duuno, never tried it?


16 May 01 - 11:07 AM (#463780)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia

Because of flatulence my sister was banned from night-flying in the LuftWaffe.

JG / F.M.E.


16 May 01 - 11:08 AM (#463783)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall

Bill D I think the answer is...The same length of time it would take a hen to build enough pressure to shit through a two inch plank.


16 May 01 - 11:23 AM (#463794)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D

is the line about 'not getting into the habit' a nun-sequitor?


16 May 01 - 11:25 AM (#463798)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick

You are sick man, Bill D. It is one of the things I like about you.......


16 May 01 - 11:26 AM (#463799)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C

I sat belonely down a tree...


16 May 01 - 11:27 AM (#463800)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Giac@Brian's

Sequestered nuns? I thought it cloistered.


16 May 01 - 11:33 AM (#463806)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: catspaw49

What's your pre-occupation with nuns Bill? I seem to recall some photos of nuns doin' some non-sequiturin'.............I don't think I can post them here even though as I recall, you had something to do with at least one of them! If I post the sites, Mario gets booted because of his firewall at school.

Spaw


16 May 01 - 11:40 AM (#463812)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo

What fun does a monk get? Nun


16 May 01 - 11:43 AM (#463820)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick

OK Lyndi-Loo, I am going to let you get away with that because you are a female. So that is not exactly the same classification as Bill D, hence not a violation of the contract. So you can be one sick woman. I like that in a woman, too....................LOL.

Mick


16 May 01 - 11:48 AM (#463823)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo

And I won't even mention the laundry in the convent being full of dirty habits


16 May 01 - 11:52 AM (#463832)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU

After all this Alumbergaige, I would direct you to the Mudcat comics, Cat english words posts, while I am off to make a bit of snarph.


16 May 01 - 11:58 AM (#463840)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg

Mud-fleuthered.


16 May 01 - 12:00 PM (#463843)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU

Mud-fleuthered. to be added to the dictionary on the mucat comic cat english words post....


16 May 01 - 12:07 PM (#463851)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R

Aren't "rambilngs" where the mulliwumps live?


16 May 01 - 12:18 PM (#463864)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: fat B****rd

I gotch your mulliwumps, dangling


16 May 01 - 12:19 PM (#463866)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief

Now we get eggnog in one-quart jars,
since that rooster came into our monastery.


16 May 01 - 12:33 PM (#463881)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: LR Mole

...humbled fat and small
A little lady sing to me
I could't see at all.


16 May 01 - 12:52 PM (#463900)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Pseudolus

!!!!hseehs

knarF


16 May 01 - 12:56 PM (#463907)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Boab

Aye---yin o' ma legs are baith the same----- Boab


16 May 01 - 12:59 PM (#463914)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C

Awright Mole! I knew somebody could come up with the rest. Once upon a time I knew the whole thing, but that's been a few days.

Wasn't there something in there about a piggy?


16 May 01 - 01:10 PM (#463920)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Robby

We had a milk cow, no milk would she give (2x)
One day that rooster come into our yard,
And caught that milk cow, WOW
Right off her guard

She's givin milk now in wax containers,
Ever since that rooster come into our yard.

Can't get it out of my head either.*bg*
Robby


16 May 01 - 01:17 PM (#463935)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief

Walkie-talkie man says "hello hello hello"
With his ballerina boots
You can tell he's always on his toes
Hanging from a Christmas tree
Creeping like a bogeyman
Getting up my nose

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Do a poo-poo!


16 May 01 - 01:22 PM (#463946)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R

Damn you Alex, you beat me to it!!!

Can Susan be the boxing Evangelical kangaroo?

Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and Pluto too.


16 May 01 - 02:28 PM (#464010)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D

thirty days hath Septober,
April, June, and no wonder
all the rest have peanut butter
except my grandmother; she has a little red tricycle-

and you know the "one from column A...etc" games we used to play? My favorite way to cuss is to link 2 or 3 non-sequetarian words in polysyllabic splendor:

*RETROGRADE ANTHROMORPHIC ROSICRUCIANS*
*AMBIVILENT THRASONICAL NOMENCLATURE*

(your mileage in this exercise, as they say, may vary)


16 May 01 - 02:36 PM (#464018)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Captain Swing

"What's a leg-over, Mother Superior?", enquired the old Abbot.

"It's a pound, brother Abbot", she replied.


16 May 01 - 02:54 PM (#464035)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D

There was an old monk from Siberia,
Whose morals were rather inferior.
He did to a nun,
What he shouldn't have done,
And now she's a Mother Superior


16 May 01 - 03:04 PM (#464042)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk

Rak! N'kima want popo. Want popo now! Not want voo-dum with za-balu, want vando popo! Why no popo in wala! N'kima not happy! Kreegah! N'kima see Matt coming! N'kima ugla Matt! N'kima bundolo Matt! Rak! Gom, Matt, gom!


16 May 01 - 04:46 PM (#464121)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome

As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives.
Each wife had seven sacks.
Each sack had seven cats.
Each cat had seven kits.
Sacks, kits, cats and wives
how many were going to St Ives?

If it takes two men a month to work a fortnight how many bananas in a bunch of grapes?

I've been dying to post those two but, until now, no-one has started a thread daft enough!

Thanks Emily-O (Emilio? Are you Puerto Rican?)

Cheers

Dave the Gnome


16 May 01 - 05:04 PM (#464135)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk

Dave,

I am no math whiz, but I think the answers are:

1. 2,800

2. none


16 May 01 - 05:14 PM (#464143)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome

Wrong on both counts LH - sorry but no prize today! I will have to keep you in suspenders though in case anyone else wants a go.

Keep trying *BG*

Dave the Gnome


16 May 01 - 05:19 PM (#464147)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen

Well, the Saint Ives answer is one but I've never heard the second riddle. Is it a real riddle or did you just make it up?


16 May 01 - 05:25 PM (#464150)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario

1 GOING to St. Ives.

and for the second 1/4rth?


16 May 01 - 05:29 PM (#464153)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome

Humph... Mmario got it in one. How did you know it took one of the men to drive the steam engine?

Of course it's real Karen - sureal!

Cheers

DtG


16 May 01 - 05:41 PM (#464158)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: The Walrus

DtG

The answer to your second riddle is simple, it's a fish this colour.

Walrus.


16 May 01 - 05:47 PM (#464161)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk

Ah, I see...one was going to St. Ives. I get it now. Should've known...

- LH


16 May 01 - 05:57 PM (#464167)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen

Oh, Little Hawk. How very sad for you! Okay, here's one I know you can do: Tommy Tucker took two strings and tied two turtles to two tall trees. How many T's in that?


16 May 01 - 06:04 PM (#464170)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D

eclectic epileptic eccentrics


16 May 01 - 06:48 PM (#464202)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome

2 of course, Karen!

Doesn't really work written but try saying to someone "Constantinople is a very long word. Spell it"

Also there is no way of writing "there are three ways of spelling two" - doesn't make sense whichever spelling you use.

Eeeehhhh. Takes me back to school days...:-)

Cheers

DtG


16 May 01 - 06:53 PM (#464208)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen

Ssssh! DtG, I KNOW it's an easy one. I'm trying to make Little Hawk feel better for not knowing the old St. Ives riddle. Play along!!!!


16 May 01 - 07:00 PM (#464215)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Seamus Kennedy

You people are talking more balls to the square inch than any two half-eejits I know.

Seamus


16 May 01 - 07:06 PM (#464221)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk

This is really getting pathetic...

- LH


16 May 01 - 07:19 PM (#464233)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall

Higgledy piggledy Benjamin Harrison, served between Clevelands but, other than that idiosyncrasy didn't do much.


16 May 01 - 07:21 PM (#464237)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: SINSULL

2 "t"s in "that"
And everyone knew the "St. Ives' answer because it played a bit part in a Bruce what's his name movie.


16 May 01 - 07:22 PM (#464240)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg

Here's to you, my rambilng boy....

... and to Waltizng Matilda, too.

~S~


17 May 01 - 12:16 PM (#464737)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: LR Mole

Why, you could be a patron of the arts. Do you follow me?"
"Why, yes."
"Well, stop following me or I'll have you arrested."


17 May 01 - 12:25 PM (#464745)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario

I do believe bruce what'shisname is younger then I am - and I learned the answer to St. Ives before I entered grammer school!!!! whyfor you putting down my mastery of trivia, sinsull?


17 May 01 - 12:32 PM (#464753)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief

The point of the St. Ives riddle, of course, is that "I met a man" used to mean we were going in opposite directions. Otherwise you'd have to say "I overtook a man" or "I was overtaken by a man."

Nowadays we don't use the word "met" nearly so carefully, so the riddle kind of loses its point as a teacher of grammar.

It's still fun though.


Matt R, please don't damn me. I'm not a torpedo.


Father Charles Goes Down And Ends Battle Battle Ends, And Down Goes Charles's Father.


Alex


17 May 01 - 01:19 PM (#464792)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Robby

One, two buckle my shoe, Have none of us anything else to do?

In the nature of "picky, picky,picky", shouldn't "served between Clevelands" be "served between Cleveland's"? After all there was only one US President named Cleveland, even if he is counted as the 22nd and 24th Presidents.
Robby


17 May 01 - 01:56 PM (#464849)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall

My youngest daughter solved the riddle of St. Ives when she was 6. What is this? The rich don't want it,
The poor don't need it,
It is more evil than Satan
It is stronger than God.
If you eat it, you will die.


17 May 01 - 02:01 PM (#464856)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Pseudolus

Take the number 40 and divide it by 1/2, then add 10 and divde by 3......what do you get?

Frank


17 May 01 - 03:27 PM (#464944)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C

Nothing.


17 May 01 - 03:30 PM (#464947)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Wolfgang

I get bored and 30


17 May 01 - 08:52 PM (#465132)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk

I tried, and I didn't get anything either...I think it's rigged.

- LH

Kendall - the answer to yours is one of Spaw's gaseous emissions, after a big dinner of pickled eggs & borscht.


17 May 01 - 09:08 PM (#465144)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: pipsqueak

Hello, I'm new here & forgot what I was gonna say !

ps what's the answer to the rich poor thingy ? or have I got to sit here and guess for a week ?

ps


17 May 01 - 09:27 PM (#465155)
Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: pipsqueak

Oh it's nothing ! sorry - feeling slightly distracted after reading so many different threads.... I can see it's going to be hard keeping track of things round here. I like that song thread, about digging in the garden.