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29 Jun 01 - 05:25 AM (#494570) Subject: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond So... FECK!!!!!! You folks have heard me, of late, goin' on about my recent 'steady work' gig in Leamington right??? Hosting a Thursday open mic/kitchen party thing in a great sounding room... well... feckin' get this.... I go out tonight and get some extra gear, pick up a couple of chummers keen to jam, and am anticipating folks coming from Chatham to play... I'm pumped... I'm keen... I'm happy!!! I fight traffic to get there... I speed to get there on time (there's NO GOOD REASON to speed!)... We unpack the car and waltz in the door with gear up to here... "What are you doing here", says a brand new face behind the bar... "I'm here for my gig", says I , "and these folks are too... I'm just lucky enough to have rodies tonight" "Oh... nobody told you?", says the barman... "Told me what????", says I.... Turns out the guy who made the bookings with me and who build the pub is WANTED FOR 61 CHARGES ACROSS CANADA!!!!!!! Including 7 counts of sexual assault, and a bunch of fraud charges!!!! He bilked this place and his partners for $18,000 and went on the lamb!!!! Now, the guy taking over the place got it for a song, and I hope David does well... but he's not planning anything 'folkie' now... Next time I see this pole-smokin' Mo-fo'n, bastard, sh!t-heel, father-raper, dung muncher, daisy-chainer, chunder splat, dohnut-puncher, clinker-nibbler, pillow-biter, skunk-sniffer, dog-humper, good-excuse-for-women-to-'swallow', mulch-muncher 'CURT', he better hope I don't have a good shovel in the trunk of my car... 'cause if I do, I'll kill him dead and bury the body so deep only worms, permafrost, and future archaeologists will ever find him!!!!! So, I'm eating crow... Sorry to have been bragging so much here of late... I guess it's true what they say... If it looks too good to be true, it probably is... He had me booked through December.... FECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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29 Jun 01 - 05:34 AM (#494572) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Lyndi-loo I'm so sorry for you, pal. But I'm absolutely breathless with admiration for the range and depth of your insults. I wish I could cuss like that! |
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29 Jun 01 - 05:35 AM (#494573) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: paddymac Bummer, to say the least. However, it is plain to see that all your hard work at the "Catspaw School of Diplomacy and Self-Expression" has paid off handsomely, enabling you to effectively and colorfully express your true feelings. |
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29 Jun 01 - 05:51 AM (#494586) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: gnu If you had done that rant for David, he may have reconsidered. A true artiste, you are. I bow to your mastery. |
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29 Jun 01 - 06:03 AM (#494594) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: catspaw49 Beautifully done CH..........although I think you still need to guard against "sugar-coating" things....LOL Sorry about the gig man......No need to eat crow though. Somehow or another I think we have all "Been there, Done that." Spaw |
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29 Jun 01 - 06:11 AM (#494598) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Dan Calder Sorry to hear that, Clinton. Tough break. But...there's gotta be a damn good "hard-times" song in there somewhere. Just try to clean up the language in the rant, and you just might have it. Stay cool. Dan |
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29 Jun 01 - 06:12 AM (#494600) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: English Jon Lets face it, most of us have been screwed by promotors at some point. Bad Luck CH. EJ |
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29 Jun 01 - 06:14 AM (#494601) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Ella who is Sooze Ch... our band have had similar things like this happen to us. Once with a dodgy agent, happily no more.. and several more underhand things and happenings, that I have not got time to go into. It happens to us all... Our BIGGEST disappointment this year, was called off for a more understandable reason, because of the foot and mouth. We were meant to be playing in the Guiness tent/marquee for a big internation rugby match - Ireland V Wales. We were all really disappointed that one didn't happen, but, it couldn't be helped... Still disappointment all around, and one of those things! As one of our band memebers said... jeesus, do you lot know how long I have been trying to get us associated with Guinness... lol. Not meant to be, in the greater plan of things tho! Ella - with a lovely cosy gig in small country village - just as long as the pub doesnt' have another landslide going through their pub again - Serious!!! They have just cleaned up after the last one, and reopened... It seems with our band, severe freaky acts of nature seem to affect us... All I can say is I am glad we don't get those huge twisters that some of you's in the US get! E :) Onwards to another day Clinton! best regards |
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29 Jun 01 - 06:24 AM (#494605) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: IanC Clinton Nothing to be ashamed of. You got the gig. You turned up. No doubt you would have been great. Things like this (though not on this scale) seem to happen to me so often, I'm beginning to think I do them on purpose!
Cheers! |
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29 Jun 01 - 08:39 AM (#494678) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Liz the Squeak Clinton, if you keep your anger bottled up like this, you'll do yourself a mischief.... just let it go man! Bummer about the gig. Some people just deserve to be caught. LTS |
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29 Jun 01 - 08:54 AM (#494693) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: JenEllen Wow, darlin......why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel? *bgg* You had no control over that rat-bastard, and you did your best. The rest is just go with the flow, man.
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29 Jun 01 - 08:55 AM (#494694) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: jeffp Damn, Clinton, that really sucks. Still and all, you yourself did everything right, so no crow for you. I imagine this will eventually wind up on a future "Worst Gigs" thread. Hang in there; the only way to go from here is UP! jeffp |
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29 Jun 01 - 09:27 AM (#494713) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Matt_R "[He] worked in obscenity like other artists work in oils or clay; it was his true meaning--a master." |
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29 Jun 01 - 09:37 AM (#494726) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: GUEST Ancient Chinese mantra: Shit happens. Not to detract from your sad misfortune, but the upside is, it made for a very entertaining story on the 'Cat! Especially the descriptive parts, although some of which may need explaining to those 'less worldly.' Better luck in the future. |
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29 Jun 01 - 09:56 AM (#494737) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: catspaw49 Matt also knows my favorite short story writer.....the late and great Jean Shepherd. Spaw |
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29 Jun 01 - 10:02 AM (#494744) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: A Wandering Minstrel doesn't sound like crow is on the menu but thats Impressive lingual dexterity. You should set that to music.It will make great chorus when you sing the ballad of how you missed the gig. :) |
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29 Jun 01 - 10:05 AM (#494748) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: MMario That shits the bed, Clinton. |
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29 Jun 01 - 10:17 AM (#494757) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Mountain Dog CH You've got the makings of an epic talkin blues there, no doubt about it! |
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29 Jun 01 - 10:32 AM (#494769) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Charley Noble Maybe we should start a thread of the marginal establishments the folk community has managed to push over the edge – maybe we should start a protection racket! You know, pay us money upfront or we'll start telling everyone we're starting a session here. I think the old Portland Folk Club racked up some 12 establishments before it managed to shoot itself fatally in the foot. |
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29 Jun 01 - 10:46 AM (#494783) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: GUEST,Walking Eagle Whooeee! If you can sing half as good as you cuss, let me know when you are in my neck of the woods so I can sign up for lessons! Bum deals an live music seem to go hand-in-hand sometimes. Sorry to hear this happened to you. Sounds like you were the professional one in this case. You can take some solace in that. Keep your chin up, but before that, have a round on me. |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:11 AM (#494814) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: wysiwyg So... lemme guess... no benefit for the incarcerated, out on the sidewalk of the place, to pull in new biz and save the whole situation and gain a reputation as a nice guy?? ~S~ |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:31 AM (#494826) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: chip a Get 'em Clinton. Don't worry, his chickens'll come home to roost. Meanwhile, I wouldn't piss in his mouth if his guts was on fire. Chip A. |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:45 AM (#494836) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Hollowfox Chunder splat...I like that. I'll trade you that for "pathetic byblow of perverted lust". |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:51 AM (#494840) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Rick Fielding Bummer Clinton. The only worse thing that could have happened is had your equipment been inside the club, and the cops locked it up! That's happened to a couple of my friends. What goes around, comes around. You'll meet him some day. keep your nose clean til then, and you'll be able to break HIS nose and still get off with a suspended sentence. What's his name? Rick |
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29 Jun 01 - 12:22 PM (#494852) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond He never told me his real name, but I got an email from the chummer who hooked me and 'Curt' up... Scott works for Pepsi... Curt also stole and sold a Pepsi fridge worth 1500, he leased a car(a brand new Audi...value...$51,000.00) under the business name and stole that too......... HOWEVER!!!!!! He has been arrested in New Brunswick......yah!!! Lemme at 'im!!!!! |
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29 Jun 01 - 12:29 PM (#494858) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: gnu Matt R, Catspaw... quote from A Christmas Story, no ? A masterpiece of recent American prose, and a movie classic. I had Red Rider, but not the fancy one with the compass in the stock. If anyone out there has not seen the movie, it's excellent and, best of all, it's a movie for the whole family. |
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29 Jun 01 - 12:45 PM (#494865) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: YOR Ahhhh! Sleep well tonight knowing he is a total 'LOSER'. Shit happens, but luckily it floats. |
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29 Jun 01 - 01:03 PM (#494875) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: chip a Well, his chickens did come home to roost. He will now give real meaning to the phrase "Aw...he's chicken shit" Chip A. |
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29 Jun 01 - 01:04 PM (#494876) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: SINSULL Clinton - will you PM me with an explanation of your post? I am embarrassed to admit which ones I don't know. Meantime, no one wants you to "eat crow" or get arrested for murder /assault. Learn from your experience and move on. By the way - where do you find your "friends"? I thought the internet was a dangerous place... Mary |
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29 Jun 01 - 01:11 PM (#494886) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Dave (the ancient mariner) The illegitimate product of a zombies wet dream deserves to be left chained and alone with you for a few minutes. Never mind Clinton mate, there will be other gigs. Yours, Aye. Dave |
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29 Jun 01 - 01:56 PM (#494907) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: SINSULL Dave - you better PM me too. I thought I knew it all or at least had heard it all... |
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29 Jun 01 - 02:00 PM (#494910) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Jenny the T Jean Shepherd died?! I loved all his stories. I had no idea there would be no more, ever. I am so bummed. |
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29 Jun 01 - 02:06 PM (#494915) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond Best 5 bucks I ever spent was in the Cheapie Section at chapters a couple of years ago... The Wordsworth Dictionary of Obscenity and Taboo... |
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29 Jun 01 - 02:29 PM (#494931) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Whistle Stop Sorry to hear about it, Clinton. Maybe now that he's been caught, he can get you one of those Johnny Cash jailhouse gigs. Your insults were impressive, but there's a couple I don't follow either, and one that sounds counter-intuitive ("good excuse..."). Wouldn't bring it up, because explaining it on an open forum would probably be in poor taste (no pun intended), but it sure has me puzzled. |
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29 Jun 01 - 02:43 PM (#494934) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond Want me to PM you WS? |
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29 Jun 01 - 02:53 PM (#494947) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Mrrzy The only thing you have to eat crow about is that lamb comment, Clinton! But really, some GREAT insults here, I'm bookmarking this for my next staff meeting... AND as an aside, HOW NICE TO SEE A POST FROM SPAW, this was the first I've seen since, welcome back! THis is definitely one of those Makes a Great Story things, even if you end up still wishing it were in the third person... And I am ashamed? proud? that I don't need any help understanding the terminology, is this bad or good? LOL! |
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29 Jun 01 - 03:02 PM (#494959) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Jim Krause Clint, Damn I hate it when that happens! Man, tough break. (But I DO admire your vocabulary. Such eloquence! I wish I could cuss like that, too.) Ah well, stuck in Lodi, again. Jim |
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29 Jun 01 - 03:40 PM (#494977) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Mark Clark Sorry to hear that, Clinton. Keep looking, you'll find a legitimate gig if you keep after it. Makes you want to dig up all the old "gig from Hell" threads and wallow around in them for a while. - Mark |
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29 Jun 01 - 04:16 PM (#494994) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Amos So, Clinton ... were you ...like, uh....upset, man? Chief bumfuck experience, man.... I would be. Dunno how you keep your cool, man. You oughta express yourself nore! LOL!!! Nice job. NICE job. A |
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29 Jun 01 - 04:33 PM (#495002) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: KT Clinton, that is some story!! Now, why don't you go back to the new owner, and offer to do a few sets for free? Bring all of your friends, and their friends, too. Fill the place, the guy will do a great business and will beg you to come back. I know you said he's not planning anything folkie right now, but perhaps you can get him to have a folk night, say, one night a week. Offer him three weeks for free and see how it goes. ( Be sure to advertise) If nothing else, you will have had the chance to make some good music! Now get over there and GO for it!!!! Good luck to ya!! KT
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29 Jun 01 - 04:47 PM (#495007) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: GUEST,SharonA *sigh* One of the disadvantages of non-membership is that I'll never understand what you said 'cause I can't receive a private message...... I might just have to sign up and then learn how to reset the cookie as needed...... BTW, how would one kill this guy WITHOUT killing him dead? Now please stop eating that poor crow and start heading for New Brunswick! |
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29 Jun 01 - 07:18 PM (#495090) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond 3 weeks for free?!?!?!?! Should I wash his car too?? Maybe walk his dog and paint his house while I'm at it... I appreciate the enthusiasm there KT, but I'm not offering to play for free for anyone! |
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29 Jun 01 - 07:59 PM (#495107) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: CarolC Sorry to hear about the gig, Clinton. Nice post, though. Am I the only one who thinks if someone made and marketed those leg lamps, he or she would make a killing? Am I thinking of the right Jean Shepherd movie? |
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29 Jun 01 - 08:00 PM (#495108) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Allan C. While I hate what has befallen you and although I truly admire your command of self expression, I have to say that it most certainly would have sounded far more impressive if heard in person. But part of it have never been said aloud or in print. It is NEVER a good idea to make a death threat against anyone. In fact, there are laws against it. |
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29 Jun 01 - 09:32 PM (#495142) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond Oh please, Allen... Gimme a small freakin' break... |
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29 Jun 01 - 09:35 PM (#495147) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: GUEST,KT Clinton, if it's only one night a week, that's only three nights. Well, okay, try ONE night! Fill the house and change his mind about folk music. Wash the car and walk the dog!! Too funny!!!!
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29 Jun 01 - 10:59 PM (#495177) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond 3 nights... it's a 45 minute drive out to Leamington, plus set-up time and equipment rental... I'm not gonna be doin' any freebies out there... But the new guy, I'm supposed to call on Tuesday to talk about Sunday Lunch music... kinda mellow backgroundy stuff... lotsa fingerpickin' and ballads... That'd be better than any kitchen party ever! We'll see... |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:07 PM (#495185) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Metchosin Wow! I'm in awe! Thats the best stream of invective I've heard in years Clinton!a superb counterpoint to the dulcet tones achieved in your version of the Mingulay Boatsong. Me telling you that it seems to go with the territory or that it is universal, won't aleviate the pain, truly sorry Clinton, doors close, others open. Take care, and may I quote you the next time I require a couple of pithy phrases? |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:11 PM (#495191) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond Just make sure to pay the royalties eh Metchie! LOL!! I actually thought I'd get -flamed- for that string of invective... Maybe Mudcat ain't so uptight after all... LOL!!!!!!!! ;-) |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:20 PM (#495197) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: catspaw49 Sorry CH, but just a brief hi-jack re: Jean Shepherd. Sorrowfully he is dead and I like to think I learned something from him in writing style and also in shooting down the "memories" with a truth gun. Partly it's because although we were about 20 years apart in age, we both grew up in the heartland midwest and until very recently not much had changed. I first encountered him when he wrote fir Car and Driver and when his collected works became books, I was in love. The experiences were so similar, though years apart. I miss him. One of Jean's new stories would be read and re-read and laughed over for hours...and reread again. I think I'll go read one tonight before bed .....And Carol, there was indeed such a lamp and other similar paraphernalia used by the Nehi Soft Drink folks for many years. Spaw |
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29 Jun 01 - 11:49 PM (#495215) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: CarolC More hijack. Sorry Clinton. I used to listen to his radio show back in the early 1970s. The only book I've read was the one with 'Wanda Hicky' in the title. I think. It's been a long time. I've seen maybe three or four movies. He surely was a treasure. |
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30 Jun 01 - 12:13 AM (#495231) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: catspaw49 Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories (and other disaters) The Ferrari in the Bedroom A Fistful of Fig Newtons In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash (my favorite) Spaw |
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30 Jun 01 - 12:38 AM (#495240) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Marion Clinton, if you do end up getting a gig there or elsewhere in Leamington (is there elsewhere in Leamington, anyway?) let me know. I have some friends who have moved there, and I'll try to send them over. Marion |
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30 Jun 01 - 12:57 AM (#495250) Subject: RE: Eating Crow Re: Recent Bragging posts... From: Clinton Hammond Will do Marion! Cool! |