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Song Challenge! - Part 62

02 Aug 01 - 02:12 PM (#519823)
Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Áine

Maybe it was the tin-foil panties, maybe it's the summer heat, maybe it's our brand new grill; but, I find myself 'lusting in my heart' for some barbequed spare ribs, don't you? That must be why I've picked this Challenge! idea from Roger the skiffler this time . . . I can't help myself, I'd just love to see

Babe On The Block -- From Roger the skiffler (22-Jun-01) I offer this as a possible future challenge, scope for sentimental song: (BTW the pig was saved by the judge).

The owner of a retired celebrity pig is fighting a legal battle to save him from the foot-and-mouth slaughter. Grunty, a rare Maori kune kune pig, starred in a children's television film and has his own website.

But his fame did not stop an inspector from the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) from ordering him to be culled under the foot-and-mouth regulations.

Grunty's farm in Somerset was condemned because his owner had visited another of her holdings, which turned out to be infected.

Rosemary Upton, of Hill Farm, Stawley, near Wellington, Somerset, is applying for permission to seek a judicial review.

Appearing for her, Stephen Smith QC, suggested that Grunty had a much stronger case for survival than Phoenix the calf, saved after a blaze of publicity in April.

Grunty starred in Pig at the Ritz on Channel Five and in pleasanter times has accompanied Mrs. Upton on trips to the local village.


Mmmmmmmm -- this Challenge! sounds finger-licking good!!

-- Áine (now where did I put that Worchester Sauce???)

02 Aug 01 - 02:41 PM (#519846)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

The Pig At The Bar

Tune: The Waggoner's Lad


I am a poor piglet, my story is  bitter
I have always been pampered, the pride of my litter
My siblings had sow-teat, which often ran dry,
By fed from a bottle by a virgin was I

My owner's a fine lass, the cows call her Maarm
She has flocks of fine geese and a couple of farms
She told me quite early, from the pig pen I'm barred
For she had me in mind for a Pig Movie star!

While others got leavings, they fed me on beer
And I learned early on 'twas the better career!
My sisters are bacon, and cold barbecue
But I never did fear, til that terrible 'flue!

It came from those other beasts who live way down south,
And the lawyers they call it that hard hoof-in-mouth
And at first we all panicked, but Maarm did but laugh
Saying "Look what it took to save Pheonix the calf!"

So my heart rested easy,  I was Grunty the star,
'Til Maarm had to travel, to holdings afar
And when she returned, or the day after that,
My life was served summons, by a man in a hat.

I'm a rare kune kune, and I've been in films three
And my heart it cries out, "They can't do this to me!!"
And Maarm she stands weeping, but swears she won't budge.
So my life's in the hands of a humanoid judge!

I stand here before you, I am handsome and trig,
My life I am begging from a man in a wig!
I'll get down on pig's knuckle, I will do any thing
If you spare me I swear I shall learn how to sing.

The judge is an old man, his spirit is gray
And over his left shoulder, his gaze it does stray,
I am bound to be pork chops, my heart fills with doom!
Then he answers with freedom!! And light fills the room!

I am back in my home, 'tis a silk-lined new sty
And my films are blockbusters, and our revenue's high
I am fat, sleek and happy, and my girth it is big,
Pray God, shower blessings, on that man in the wig!

duplicate postings and embarrassing plea deleted per request by mudelf ;-)

02 Aug 01 - 02:58 PM (#519859)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: MMario

BUNTY
(tune: Essiquibo River)

Bunty Kune Kune pig is best of piglets all
piri piri pig wag those tassels o
Bunty Kune Kune pig is best of piglets all
piri piri pig wag those tassels o

Pig at the Ritz! oh, Pig at the Ritz!
Piri piri pig wag those tassels o!

DEFRA guy he say the pig have foot and mouth disease
piri piri pig wag those tassels o
In somerset that not allowed, destroy that piglet please!
piri piri pig wag those tassels o

Pig at the Ritz! oh, Pig at the Ritz!
Piri piri pig wag those tassels o!

Rosemary she love her pig, she hopes the judge does too!
piri piri pig wag those tassels o
And so Miss Upton calls for a judicial review
piri piri pig wag those tassels o

Pig at the Ritz! oh, Pig at the Ritz!
Piri piri pig wag those tassels o!

The skiffler now he see the news and tells it Áine to...
piri piri pig wag those tassels o
Áine is a TEXAS girl - she calls for BAR-B-QUE!
piri piri pig wag those tassels o

Pig at the Ritz! oh, Pig at the Ritz!
Piri piri pig wag those tassels o!

duplicate posting deleted by mudelf ;-)

02 Aug 01 - 03:41 PM (#519883)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: SharonA

Grunty Was His Name-ey
(Tune: "Bingo (was his name-o)"

There was a farmer had a pig
And Grunty was his name-ey
G - R - U - N - Ty
G - R - U - N - Ty
G - R - U - N - Ty
And Grunty was his name-ey

He had a TV show so big,
"Pig at the Ritz" its name-ey
P - Et - Cet - e - ry
P - Et - Cet - e - ry
P - Et - Cet - e - ry
"Pig at the Ritz" its name-ey

Ms. Upton took him in her rig;
To town to spread his fame-ey
No - Tor - I - Et - Ty
No - Tor - I - Et - Ty
No - Tor - I - Et - Ty
To town to spread his fame-ey

But now poor Grunty's in the brig;
His farmer is to blame-ey
B - L - A - M - E
B - L - A - M - E
B - L - A - M - E
His farmer is to blame-ey

In muck Ms. Upton danced a jig;
With foot-and-mouth aflame-ey
N - Fec - Ted - U - See
N - Fec - Ted - U - See
N - Fec - Ted - U - See
With foot-and-mouth aflame-ey

Then where poor Grunty liked to dig
Inside his pen she came-ey
S - Tu - Pid - It - Ty
S - Tu - Pid - It - Ty
S - Tu - Pid - It - Ty
Inside his pen she came-ey

Now Grunty can't go to his gig;
He hangs his head in shame-ey
Quar - N - Teen - Ed - He
Quar - N - Teen - Ed - He
Quar - N - Teen - Ed - He
He hangs his head in shame-ey

The DEFRA folks don't give a fig
They'd kill him just the same-ey
X - P - D - Ent - Ly
X - P - D - Ent - Ly
X - P - D - Ent - Ly
They'd kill him just the same-ey

I think that they should leave the pig
And take away the dame-ey
Let - Poor - Grun - T - B
Let - Poor - Grun - T - B
Let - Poor - Grun - T - B
And take away the dame-ey

line breaks added by mudelf ;-)

02 Aug 01 - 03:46 PM (#519885)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: MMario

dagnab it Sharon! - you are giving me a sub-inferiority complex! (I already had the inferiority complex, now I feel even lower! *grin*
the preceding statement was a JOKE!
)

wundahbar! Most creative spellings since my nieces quizes in elementary school!

02 Aug 01 - 04:34 PM (#519918)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Gareth

Grunty the Pig

Tune file : GRESFORD

You've heard of the Foot 'n Mouth Disaster,
Of the terrible price on the land; ,
Millions of innocent Sheep were condemned ,
And a pig to be slain out of hand

Now Grunty was no common porker. ,
A film star, or so it was said ,
With its own dressing sty, with a star bye and bye,
And a cushion to comfort his head..

Grunty the pig had a website, ,
For New Zealand to learn of his fame, ,
And many a man had to harden his heart ,
Before he could eat pork again.

Now a fortnight before the cull order, ,
To his owner, poor Grunty cried, ,
"If you visit that farm we'll be in hell!" ,
And no one can say that he lied.

Farewell all our dear sows and piglets ,
Farewell all our comrades as well, ,
Don't send your sons to a Somerset Farm,
, They'll be doomed like the sinners in hell.

Now the Lord Judge in Bristol's deciding, ,
If Grunty should live or he dies, ,
While the Ministry man sends compensation, ,
To pay for the poor farm stock's' lives.

Still British justice must triumph, ,
A film star must be a good case, ,
It's not as if he is a working class pig ,
Destined for for the slaughtering place...

Actually I am looking forward to seeing Phoenix The Calf again,.
neatly packaged and for sale in Tesco's.

Gareth

02 Aug 01 - 04:44 PM (#519930)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: SharonA

MMario, I have a sub-inferiority complex too; that's why I never ride in them. :^) Love your reference to Áine's BBQ!

Amos: "I'll get down on pig's knuckle, I will do any thing: If you spare me I swear I shall learn how to sing." LOL! That's just... so beautiful... And Gareth, I'm chucklin' at "Many a man had to harden his heart, Before he could eat pork again"!

02 Aug 01 - 05:34 PM (#519971)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

Wow -- I am laughing all over!!! MM, the verse about Skiffler and Roger comes over like classic Barbadian patois!! I love it! I can hear the drums from here!! I love the notion of Grunty's website being aimed at New Zealand!! And Sharon's adroit way with Phonics Bubonic is too good for words!! You guys are stars, no mistake!

A

02 Aug 01 - 06:41 PM (#520015)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: LoopySanchez

Ok gang, here's my blatant attempt at a trophy. 10 threads (referenced in parentheses), one song. It's pretty corny, but I hope it's enjoyable to all.

"Saving Grunty"

If DEFRA's afraid that Grunty's infected (62)
Send him on over, we Yanks will protect him.
To every disease we're all quite immune
We even brew coffee from Civet poo. (57)

We Yanks aren't afraid of some foot-and-mouth
We'll even wear aluminum foil to sneak him out. (61)
I think we'd need more foil though, to steal a pig
And it would be tough to hide something that big.

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

Maybe that guy who keeps all those ferrets (10)
Could hide Grunty in his pants, then grin and bear it
But he'd need to remove all the ferrets first
An animal fight in your drawers sure does hurt!

Or perhaps Africa would make
For a better hiding place
They spit doo-doo from the kudu (30)
By foot-and-mouth they're not fazed.

Does it look like I'm lying?
Is my nose getting long?
That's just the nasal Viagra (60)
Guess that dose was too strong.

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

We could always stop by the leech ranch (58)
And round us up a few
Take them all to Somerset
Let them suck on Grunty til' they're through
And maybe if we're lucky
The disease will be removed
If it's not, we've wasted sixteen bucks
On a pound of leeches, guess we're screwed.

Too bad we can't fly Grunty first class (44)
For a second opinion some other place
But another pig ended our chances of that
And US Air's still cleaning his waste.
It just doesn't seem fair to me though
How one pig ruined things in the blink of an eye
But now thanks to Vaclav, the Czechs' national hero (29)
Raccoons get free beer and a meal when they fly!

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

The sanglochon seems much worse (42)
Than dear ol' Grunty and his foot-and-mouth curse
He's never dug up anyone's lawn
Or drunk from their pool, from dusk until dawn
Maybe they're what should first be destroyed
And maybe it's just that DEFRA's mistaken
Could it be Grunty's clean? I'd be overjoyed!
If he is, then I'm sure he'd make some great bacon!

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

02 Aug 01 - 06:51 PM (#520028)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Gareth

Amos, - Well he were/is a Maori pig.

And in my best tradition -

Now Grunty was a pig,
And the Judge he wore a wig
Said the wig unto the pig
As a Star you'll dance a jig.

Have you ever saw,
Etc.......

Give me time and a rerite of "William Kid" seems suitable.

"Damn your styes ..."

No copyright demanded if this stirs any other catters muse.

BTW The tune "Gresford" is the Botany Bay Varient - not the National Union of Mineworkers funeral hymn.

Gareth

02 Aug 01 - 10:29 PM (#520135)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Jack the Sailor

From VH1, (Verile Hog One)

Where are they now? That is the question we need to answer. In a decidely agrarian and English way. And what could be more English than a Peter Noone song with a corny, contrived introduction. Thus, with apologies to music lovers everwhere, I give you,

Hiding Hind the Compost (Leaning on the Lamp Post)
by Peter Loone

{tinkly piano introduction word sung lightly almost recited as poetry}

Gary Coleman is guarding a mall
Downey is on probation
Mariah has had a great fall
It's an unforgiving nation
America may be cruel to has beens
As they drown their sorrows in bars
But that's nothing compared to the English
Who slaughter and burn former stars......

{sung energetically with a thick, possibly fake english accent}

I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
Til a certian health inspecter walks by,
Oh Me! Oh My!
Until a certian health inspecter walks by

Oh, he's horrible, he's devious
Mischeivious, he's terrible
And anyone can understand why
I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
until a certian health inspecter walks by,

Oh........
I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
Til a certian health inspecter walks by,
Oh Me! Oh My!
Until a certian health inspecter walks by

I'm not the kind of pig to be made pork
So you will never see me on your fork
And now that the U.K cannot trade pork
They want to slaughter me
To get rid of the disease.........

Oh, he's killing cows, he's killing sheep
killing swine, oh life is cheap
And anyone can understand why
I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
until a certian health inspecter walks by,

I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
Til a certian health inspecter walks by,
Oh Me! Oh My!
Until a certian health inspecter walks by
Oh, he he will put and end to me
That's why I'm hiding
can't you see, That's why

I'm hiding hind the compost in the corner of the sty
until a certian health inspecter walks by,

02 Aug 01 - 11:44 PM (#520155)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Jack the Sailor

Here is a multipurpose masterpiece ****SSBG***** (Self Satisfied Big Grin) Here I have injected my usual consumer comentary, and a reference to my favourite Song Challenge mammal. I also have managed to insult hogs and hog farmers everywhere introduce potty humour and most importantly, If American musical icons do turn over in thier graves, Mr. Irving Berlin is now doing more rpms than the hard drive in my computer.

Piggy at the Ritz

If you are a mess and want to confess to the best
Why don't you go where the kune kune sits
Piggy at the Ritz

Different types of feces has the civet
The droppings of the pig make owners livid,
giving them fits
worthless little shits

Dressed up with pine--apple he'd be super
Flat'lance like a whoopie cusion blooper
Pooper Scooper

Come let's mix where swine are roasted on sticks
Over Bar-B-cue Pits
Turnin 'em on Spits

Have you seen that famous hog? He is lucky as a dog
On that farm in Sommerset. He is safe there you can bet
Eats dirt he even swallows, as in, his filth he wollows
Recycling every bit of his marvelous food

If you're mean and you do not like the clean scene
Why don't you go where Grunty shits
Piggy at the Ritz

Foot and mouth contaminate the brown cows
Even infects their naughty bits
Piggy at the Ritz

Inspector said that grunty was contageous
Judge said to the plaintif that's outrageous
The pig is famous

Grunty is a Maori, Once more, people can't you see
He is not the kind of pig whose hair one splits
Piggy at the Ritz
Piggy at the Ritz
Piggy at the Ritz
Piggy at the Ritz

Grunt !!!
Gotta Wallow !!!
Gotta roll in the filth !!!!

If you think you must free a TV, pig, celebrity
Surely you must,

think this case is just.

03 Aug 01 - 01:12 AM (#520170)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

It's a crack up, Sailor J!!!

A

03 Aug 01 - 09:09 AM (#520323)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: MMario

I love coming back to a challenge after an overnight...great stuff all!

03 Aug 01 - 09:43 AM (#520349)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

Loopy, what ambition! I stand in amazement!!

A

03 Aug 01 - 09:57 AM (#520359)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: LoopySanchez

Thanks, Amos! Unfortunately I tend to get in over my head pretty quickly when writing songs while fighting the mid-afternoon low blood sugar blues, LOL! The fun is in trying to swim back to the surface... Can somebody toss me a life jacket?

03 Aug 01 - 11:32 AM (#520434)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: LoopySanchez

Great song, Jack! Maybe we could attach a solenoid to Mr. Berlin and use his in-the-grave spinning to generate some energy for those folks in California! I never really thought about how many dirty words could rhyme with "Ritz", lol! Knew you'd come through as always.

03 Aug 01 - 12:48 PM (#520487)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Fibula Mattock

Upton's Pig
(To the tune of "Uptown Girl")

Upton's pig
Her barrister is putting on his wig
Because they're off to fight a legal battle
To halt the slaughter of the sheep and cattle
And little pigs...

And Grunty's fans, well they want him al-i-i-ive
He's got his own show on Channel Fi-i-ive

Upton's farm
Went to another and it brought them harm
They had to go and call the vet
To Grunty's home in Somerset
Oh no, oh no...

And Grunty's fans, well they want him al-i-i-ive
He's got his own show on Channel Fi-i-ive

Upton's judge
He's not the type of man to hold a grudge
He said that Grunty could go free
Now he's back again on our TV
hip hip hooray...
And Grunty's fans, they're so glad he's al-i-i-ive
They'll tune in weekly to Channel Fi-i-ive

Upton's pig
Oh Upton's piiiiiiiiig...
(repeat ad nauseum to fade)

03 Aug 01 - 01:04 PM (#520492)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: SharonA

*screaming laugh* Wow!

03 Aug 01 - 01:21 PM (#520502)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Jack the Sailor

Excellent stuff as per usual.

Upton's pig! Christy Brinkly would be proud!

Loopy Congrats on your ambition! Me, if i sneak in a civet reference, I'm happy.

03 Aug 01 - 01:48 PM (#520510)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: mousethief

You guys are great! Wonderful stuff! I'm going to have a hard time not humming "Upton's Pig" all day today!

And the rhymes are awesome! Civet/livid! LOL!

Okay, here's the best I could come up with this morning:

Wellington Sheep Farm
(tune: Wolverton Mountain)

They said don't go to Wellington Sheep Farm
Cos it's infected with hoof-and-mouth
You'll track it back all over your gumboots
Back to your hog farm, a few miles south

Her tender pig (her tender pig) brings lots of money
But Rosemary's gumboots infected his hay
The Government inspec-tor came to see him
And said that Grunty must die this day

But Grunty's not an ordinary piggy
He's an actor and a millionaire
So Rosemary took the case to the law-court
And hoped to save her Grunty there

Her tender pig (her tender pig) brings lots of money
But Rosemary's gumboots infected his hay
The Governmental judge will try his court case
And say if Grunty must die this day

Now she's back home at Wellington Sheep Farm
And her piggy is safe and sound
They couldn't let him face the death squad
When he's worth ten million pounds

Her tender pig (her tender pig) brings lots of money
And though her gumboots had touched his hay
The Governmental tax-man has more clout than
The hog inspector, any old day.

Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

'farms' to 'farm' edited per request & request post deleted by mudelf ;-)

03 Aug 01 - 02:01 PM (#520522)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

Wow! Good song, good point, mouseT!!

A

03 Aug 01 - 02:06 PM (#520526)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: LoopySanchez

Bravo, MouseT! Nice little slice of political/economic commentary there at the end, too.

03 Aug 01 - 02:55 PM (#520581)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: SharonA

Before anyone asks: No, I have no shame....


GRUNTY BOY
(Tune: "Danny Boy")

Oh Grunty boy, the pigs, the pigs are bawling
From farm to farm as down they all are shot
The plague has come, and all the sows are dying
'tis you, 'tis you must live and they must not.

But come you on the telly in a rerun
Or when Rosemary walks with you in tow
'tis I'll be there, your fan, the judge's young son
Oh Grunty Boy, oh Grunty Boy, I watch you so.

And if you come, when all the sows are dying,
And wish to live, as strong the wish may be,
You'll come and find me to my father crying
For he has always given in to me.

And I shall hear him order, just to hush me,
That all your dreams of life will come to be.
If you'll not give your autograph, 'twill crush me;
I'll simply tell my dad, then you'll be history!

03 Aug 01 - 03:01 PM (#520591)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: MMario

Luckily I swallowed my coffee before reading that. Fantastic.

Incredible.

Words are insufficient. D*mn!

Have I mentioned lately how I turn green every time you post to a challenge? Any greener and I'd start craving flies...

03 Aug 01 - 05:19 PM (#520681)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: mousethief

Thank you to mudelf, Amos, and Loopy.

SharonA, you're intimidating competition! Sheesh!

Alex

03 Aug 01 - 05:38 PM (#520692)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: SharonA

I didn't meeeeean tooooo... *sniff* (b'sides, I DID misspell "all")

05 Aug 01 - 05:08 PM (#521525)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Áine

Wow!! You guys were cookin' with gas on this one, eh? ;-)

If you haven't heard the good news (friggin' fantastic, actually...), the Mudcat Songbook, including of course, the Song Challenge! pages, will be moving 'home' to the Mudcat for real, as Max has agreed to host it on the Big 'Cat Server in the City!! Many, many, many thanks to Pene Azul (my dearest darlin' mudelf in the world, and fellow calzone maker...) for his help, advice, and well, just everythang . . . ;-) . . . in making the move possible. Pene has some really great ideas for making the Songbook even better (code-wise and design-wise) than it is now...so, if you see any vague references between your GG and the Pene talking about 'joint ventures', you'll know that they're as innocent as can be (yeah, GG, and we've got a bridge in Arizona to sell you...).

So, if you have any questions, please let me know. But, don't worry my darlin' Challenge!rs, the Book can only get better from here! And to prove my point, here are your Golden Cow Chips and other well earned whatnots for your creative flow . . . Flow on, Challenge!rs, Flow on!!

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Grunty Was His Name-ey by SharonA
Grunty the Pig by Gareth


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

Upton's Pig by Fibula Mattock


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Hiding Hind the Compost by Jack the Sailor
The Pig At The Bar by Amos
Piggy at the Ritz by Jack the Sailor


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):

Grunty Boy by SharonA


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration (The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration is awarded for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!):

Wellington Sheep Farm by mousethief


Winners of the Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

Bunty by MMario


Winners of the Imperial Order of the All-In-One Genius with Platinum Tufts (The Imperial Order of the All-In-One Genius with Platinum Tufts Award is given to the Challenge!rs who use ten or more Challenge! topics in one song):

Saving Grunty by LoopySanchez

06 Aug 01 - 08:46 AM (#521791)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: MMario

!!! I warmed her cockles????!!!!

*blush*

06 Aug 01 - 07:21 PM (#522232)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: GUEST

Boy! A guy takes off for a long weekend and he nearly misses a Song Challenge! Sheesh - THAT one went fast!

Well... belatedly... here's my entry. I figure the judge COULD have ruled the OTHER way....

STREETS OF OLD STAWLEY (Grunty's Lament)
Tune: Streets of Laredo
Words by Al Boyce 8/6/2001

With my gumboots I walked in the pigpens of Stawley,
With my gumboots I walked in old Stawley one day,
I spied a young porker all wrapped up in parsley
Apple in mouth, and as cold as the clay.

"Oh, bake my ham slowly, my hocks pickle coldly,
My intestines makes sausages both thick and long,
Take me to the roaster and baste juices o'er me
For I'm a young piglet and my owner's done wrong."

"I see by your white smock that you're an inspector"
These words he did snort as I stepped in his sty.
"Come wallow beside me and hear my sad story,
Foot-and-Mouth's got me, and I know I must die."

"Let sixteen butchers come carry my carcass,
Let sixteen barbecues roast my ribs long,
Take me to the picnic and swab the sauce o'er me
For I'm a poor hog and my owner's done wrong."

"My friends and relations, have all become bacon,
To the roadhouse in heaven their swine-souls have gone",
He first came to Somerset, a retired TV actor,
Oh, I'm a young piglet and my owner's done wrong."

"Go gather around you a crowd of young oinkers,
And tell them the story of this, my sad fate;
Tell one and the other before they go further
To escape from old Stawley before it's too late."

"It was once in the bush in New Zealand I rambled
Among the Maori I used to go play,
Then captured, transported and made to make movies,
Now for infected gumboots, I am dying today."

"Get six jolly waiters to carry my platter,
Get six waitresses carrying baked beans and slaw,
Put slices of cornbread aside of my platter,
Put cans out to catch the rib bones as they fall."

"Then spin the grate slowly, swing your spatula lowly,
And let them all drool as you carry me along,
And in the grill throw me, let the charcoal bake o'er me
For I'm a young piglet and my owner's done wrong."

"Go bring me a trough, a trough of cold slop-wash
To cool my parched snout," the poor porker said;
Before the spit turned, the spirit had left him
And gone to Hog Heaven --- the piglet was dead.

We ate his ham slowly and chewed his ribs lowly,
And knawed on his hocks as the day wore along,
For we all loved our Grunty, on TV so funny,
But barbecue's delicious, we ate him all gone!

Hmm... let's see...

I won ...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Guiness Crest...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Cleigh's Blue Flume Shield...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Two-Fer-One Coupon...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lynn Ditty Digger Decoration...
...the Golden Cow Chip with Memorial MMario Silver-Plated Spitoon...
...the Super-Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award...
...the Imperial Order of All-In-One Genius with Platinum Tufts...

I wonder what ELSE I could win... hmmmm..... ;-D

- Al, shamelessly grovelling for the WHOLE BAG OF CHIPS!

06 Aug 01 - 08:42 PM (#522275)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Amos

I gotta hand it to ya, Al, it's a masterpiece!! I dunno if you can win the whole bag of chips without a Cookie first though...:>)

I hope you do, though, as you've demonstrated complete assimilation of the Morphemic Dextrous and the fine art of Phonemic Scintillation, Scansion Scantlings and even Internal Self-referential Externals, which is a rare and subtle part of the Art indeed!!

A

06 Aug 01 - 11:29 PM (#522345)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Áine

Ah gee, Trapper, after such a fantastic effort, how could I deprive you of your just awards? ;-)

You are hereby named one of the few, the mighty WINNERS OF THE WHOLE BAG O'CHIPS SPECIAL AWARD and your song is awarded The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!.

Kudos, congrats and a cowpat on both cheeks for all your marvelous creations! ;-)

-- Áine

P.S. Since you're back in town, don't forget to check out Song Challenge! - Part 63

10 Aug 01 - 02:10 PM (#525205)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: GUEST,SharonA at the library

Congratulations, Trapper, on the winning of the coveted Whole Bag O' Chips, from one of those left in your dust!!!

Also, great news about the "homecoming" of the Mudcat Songbook (and its rescue from them yahoos at Yahoo). Thanks, Aine, Max and Pene Azul!

SharonA

18 Apr 05 - 10:13 AM (#1464311)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: GUEST,steve o

g day

do ya know you are a googlewhack

steve o

18 Apr 05 - 10:24 AM (#1464320)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: GUEST

Using what search criterion?

26 Aug 07 - 06:33 PM (#2134084)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: COINWOLF

UPTON'S PIG

Apparently in days gone by the people in surrounding areas put a piglet in their bed before the went to sleep.
The piglet kept the straw warm, and all the nasty insects jumped on the pig. When the household went to bed the piglet was put outside with all the nasty insects!

Upton Under Severn is celebrating being Upton upon Severn on the third week in September. See Upton Feel Good Festival.

27 Aug 07 - 12:51 PM (#2134602)
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 62
From: Georgiansilver

I saw "Pig at the Ritz" and I reckon that pig should be put down anyway....never seen such a 'ham' actor!