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16 Aug 01 - 10:34 AM (#529190) Subject: New element discovered From: GUEST,Kirsty NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED
Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named "ADMINISTRATIUM" (Ad)
This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of ZERO. It does, however, have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take more than four days to complete when it would normally take less that one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years. It does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "the critical morass".
You will know it when you see it.
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16 Aug 01 - 10:38 AM (#529198) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: katlaughing LMAO! Thanks! Suppose a sub-element might be brownosium? LOL! |
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16 Aug 01 - 10:41 AM (#529202) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Kim C THAT is priceless. :-) |
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16 Aug 01 - 11:57 AM (#529288) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: GUEST,fretless (at work) Wonderful. When I stopped laughing, I emailed it to a sibling who is a university administrator and also to some co-workers. Then I hard copied it to another who said he'd seen it before. So I did a Web search, and found a claim that the Administratium announcement was originally authored by William DeBuvitz in April 1988 while teaching physics at a county college. According to hte Web site, he submitted it to THE PHYSICS TEACHER magazine and it was published in the January 1989 issue (page 47). I have no idea if the claim is real or bogus; in other words, the Administratium announcement is clearly folklore (netlore/jokelore), but is the attribution to DeBuvitz folklore as well (urban legend)? |
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16 Aug 01 - 12:46 PM (#529324) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: paddymac ROTFLMAO - A gazillion kudos to the creator of this gem, whomsoever it may be. |
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16 Aug 01 - 01:35 PM (#529375) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Noreen Yes, it is wonderful, and has been going the rounds for several years- don't know where from originally. |
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16 Aug 01 - 02:30 PM (#529454) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: hesperis That's a good one! Brightened my day. :) |
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16 Aug 01 - 02:34 PM (#529455) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: GUEST Clearly this is the origin of the black holes. |
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16 Aug 01 - 03:13 PM (#529494) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Liz the Squeak No, not unless Manchester is considered a black hole - Les Barker strikes again!! LTS |