To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=38601
18 messages

Lyr ADD: Lift Girl's Lament (Jeremy Taylor)

06 Sep 01 - 02:21 AM (#543160)
Subject: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

I have been asked to try and find these lyrics, sorry I don't have any of the words. It's not in the DT, and the only reference I can find on the web is that it appears on several of Jeremy's albums. Can anyone help please?

06 Sep 01 - 10:57 AM (#543396)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: GUEST,Rob

Sorry I don't know the lyrics but your request reminded me of a most enjoyable occasion in the seventies when I saw Jeremy perform on a stage in WA devoid of anything but an orange box. Is it the one that goes something like, jobsworth jobsworth its more than me jobs worth, da da da I don't know, whatever you want the answers no, da da da da da da, waiting in the queue, and if you don't like it, you know what you can do. - 'cos if it is I know who does know it. Thanks for resurrecting the memory.

06 Sep 01 - 11:28 AM (#543435)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Dave the Gnome

Shame you did not know earlier, Joan, or you could have asked him at last years Swinton festival (Or was it the year before?)

Unfortunately now... Wait for it...

Jeremy Taylors been and gone Walk him along, John carry him along

(Groan)

Cheers

DtG

06 Sep 01 - 12:24 PM (#543491)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice

Joan, I have the record and will see if I can transcribe the lyrics before anyone else does!

Going upppppppppppppppp!

Alan

06 Sep 01 - 01:37 PM (#543566)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Eric the Viking

Is is the one that goes "dear aunty vera, you're someone I can trust, won't you tell me how to put 2 inches on my bust?"

By the way Joan-were you at Fylde last weekend? I could have sworn I saw you, but you were to distant to get to-I was in a car going past the steamer at the time (Sat)

06 Sep 01 - 02:27 PM (#543589)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

Thanks for the offers of help and all the other comments, and I really don't know any of the words - all I was given was the title ("The Lift Song") and the author's name. I'm assuming the 'proper' title is Lift Girl's Lament because that was mentioned several times in JT's discographies, found through Google.

And yes, Eric, I was at Fylde on Saturday, singing with the Shellback Chorus. I was in the Steamer late morning/early afternoon before going on to our first spot. You must have extremely good eyesight if you could see me in the Steamer while you were going past in the car! I had been hoping to see you to get T-shirt and patches, but perhaps next time...

06 Sep 01 - 03:37 PM (#543651)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Sooz

Ground floor,stationery, perfumery and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery.........going up. Sorry can't remember any more.

06 Sep 01 - 03:49 PM (#543664)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Eric the Viking

Joan, you can get a T and patch at Either Swinton-I'll bring some, or Llangstock-Bill will be there or if there is another "White Lion" Mudcat meet.

I don't miss much, only look stupid!

06 Sep 01 - 09:04 PM (#544017)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: GUEST,breezy

j.t. lives around welshpool and still gigging ask mac at stortfolk. i still do the belle of barnstaple.i promoted him at the young vic.a long time ago.he made an live album there.good hunting.i too have the album but its along way down.

07 Sep 01 - 02:31 AM (#544202)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

Eric, I'll definitely be at Swinton, not sure about Llanstock yet - and you certainly don't look stupid!

And Dave, your take on General Taylor was very naughty - it's been going around in my head and I can't get rid of it!

Joan

09 Sep 01 - 12:06 PM (#545683)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

Alan (Lanfranc), if you can transcribe the lyrics I would be very grateful.

Joan

09 Sep 01 - 06:02 PM (#545836)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Lanfranc

Joan

I was hoping to do so this weekend, but other things intruded. Will try to do so tomorrow. Don't give up hope!

Alan

10 Sep 01 - 02:16 AM (#546010)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

Thanks, Alan!

10 Sep 01 - 09:33 AM (#546180)
Subject: Lyr Add: LIFT GIRL'S LAMENT (Jeremy Taylor)
From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice

OK. Joan, here you are - hope I've got the HTML right!

Lift Girl's Lament
Jeremy Taylor

(To be spoken and sung in an Afrikaans accent.)

(Spoken) Going up……………….
First floor
Knitwear, nappery, beachwear, sportswear, corsetry, millinery, ladies underwear,
Thank you!

Going up………………..
(Sung) We are the lift-girls in a big department store
We kindly take the patrons, going up from floor to floor
Don't wonder if we're weary of standing up all day
'Cos when the doors fly open, it's our job to say

(Spoken) Second floor
Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery, El Fandango tearooms
Orange juice, lemonade, milk shakes, arsenic, rat poison
Thank you!

Going up………………..
(Sung) We are the lift-girls, we're careful how we dress
I like my job, but I'd very much rather have been an air hostess
But as I was always airsick and I couldn't pass the test
I stand here pushing buttons and the lift does all the rest

(Spoken) Third floor
Cosmetics, perfumes and colognes, ribbons, handbags, shopping baskets, belts, buttons, Teens and twenty dresses,
Thank you!

"Excuse me, can I find glasses on this floor?" (spoken in different voice)

(Spoken) Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery, El Fandango tearooms Second Floor (sniff)

"Oh, um, are you perhaps going down?" (spoken in different voice)
Going up………………..
(Sung) Ag, sister Marlene, what a hell of a job this is
The boss won't even give us time to go and have a zizz
And while we're on the job we can't even have a smoke
Ag, I'm so bleddy tired, men, I'd give anything for a Coke!

(Spoken) Fourth floor
Kiddies wear, juvenile and sub-teens, tween-teens, middle age, old age, senility, dotage and decomposition………….. funeral shrouds

Going up………………..
(Sung) Don't lean on the buttons please, don't lean on the doors
The car's full up now, so you'll have to walk to the other floors
Eh, take your hands off me, who do you think you are?
I may do a thousand feet a day, but I'm not going to go that far!

(Spoken) Fifth floor
Radio department, electrical appliances, hairdressing salon, friendly sewing school.
Thank you

Going up……………….

Sixth floor, offices and accounts,
Offices and accounts,
Going up……………….

Going down……………….

(Sung) Now, if only I had a minute or two to sit down on my seat
I'd sue this bleddy company for giving me flat feet
I've got fallen arches and lumbago in my back
And I suppose it won't be long now before I get the sack

Now if the lift gets stuck for an hour or two, you really can't blame me
If I don't appear to sympathise with your anxiety
Cos I've seen enough of these four walls to last for many a day
And when the clock says half past five, I'm overjoyed to say

(Spoken) Going Home!

10 Sep 01 - 03:13 PM (#546502)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Joan from Wigan

That's wonderful, Alan, thank you very much!

Joan

10 Sep 01 - 08:52 PM (#546699)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: Nigel.Parsons

Slight variations (from the record Spike Milligan & Jeremy Taylor live at Cambride University) El Fandango Tea rooms is "Old Fandango Tea Rooms" The departments at the fourth floor are "Kiddies wear, Juvenile,Children and sub-teens,twin-teens,middle age etc., "Ag sister Marlene" is heard as "Och, sister Maureen" and this verse doesn't use the word "bleddy" (if nothing else, it ruins the scansion)

The verse following the offer of the sixth floor seems to be:- Now, if only I had a minute or two to sit down on me seat, I'm gonna sue ths company for giving me flat feet. 'Cos I've got fallen arches, and lumbago in me back, And I'm sure it wont be long now before I get the sack.

What madness has of late possessed the brain? Though few can write, yet fewer can refrain.

10 Sep 01 - 09:16 PM (#546715)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament - Jeremy Taylor
From: GUEST,catlin

Is that the song done by both Clam Chowder and Great Big sea? I love it! It's a good bread dough kneading song! The Great Big Sea version is very understandable.

Cat

23 Jun 23 - 07:03 AM (#4175282)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lift Girl's Lament (Jeremy Taylor)
From: GUEST,Issy

Thank you SO Much.. for the lyrics of the Lift- girl´s Lament. I had the single back then, But never could understand the part about the "fallen arches"... now I finally know what he is saying... :))))) Was´nt that the most wonderful time of our lives??!! The world is a total mess now.... sob... ! Living in Germany .. since many many years. Still go home regularly... God bless you all. Issy