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BS: humour

13 Sep 01 - 01:09 PM (#548960)
Subject: humour
From: selby

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

I apologise if I hurt anyone's feelings but I feel we all need a bit of cheering up.This is my best effort Two sheep are in a field one says to the other you know I am really woried about this foot and mouth disease and the other goes AHHHH a talking sheep. Keith

13 Sep 01 - 01:17 PM (#548966)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: KingBrilliant

raised a smile selby.


13 Sep 01 - 07:32 PM (#549396)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Gloredhel

The Pope is visiting the U.S., and he is riding in a limousine with, of course, a chauffeur. He asks the chauffeur if he might drive a while. The chauffeur is understandably surprised, but the Pope says, "You know, I spend all this time in cars, but not once does anyone ever let me drive. Please?" So the driver agrees, and they trade places. A policeman stops the car for a minor infraction and as the window is rolled down, revelaing the driver, the policeman is a bit surprised. He radios the station and says, "Guess who I just stopped?" "Who?" comes the reply. "I don't know, but he must be pretty important, 'cause the Pope's his driver!"

apologies if you've heard it before, but comic relief in times of crisis is important. :)

13 Sep 01 - 07:40 PM (#549409)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,McKnees

Man on his first solo parachute jump. He finds that his chute doesn't open and as he falling he mets a man coming up. He says "do you know anything about parachutes?" The other guy says "no, do you know anything about gas cookers?"

13 Sep 01 - 07:47 PM (#549421)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: bill\sables

Two cows in a field, one says to the other "What do you think of this mad cow desease". The other cow says "How the hell should I know , I'm Napoleon"

13 Sep 01 - 08:14 PM (#549449)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Paul from Hull


13 Sep 01 - 08:19 PM (#549453)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: DougR

Good effort, folks, but I for one find it difficult to laugh at the moment.


13 Sep 01 - 11:45 PM (#549643)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Souter

Yeah, but just listening too the news doesn't help. This one is a poem, but most of my family thinks it's hysterical:

In form and feature, face and limb
I grew so like my brother
That folks got taking me for him
And each for one another!

It puzzled all our kith and kin
It reached a fearful pitch
For one of us was born a twin
Yet not a soul knew which!

One day, to make the matter worse
Before our names were fixed
As we were being washed by nurse
We got completely mixed!

This fatal likeness even dogged
My footsteps when at school.
And I was always getting flogged
For John turned out a fool.

This close resemblance turned the tide
Of my domestic life.
And somehow my intended bride
Became my brother's wife!

In fact, year after year the same
absurd mistakes went on.
And when I died, the neighbors came
And buried brother John!

13 Sep 01 - 11:52 PM (#549648)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll


An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, "And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham.Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of dot." And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns (and drums in between the towns) to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply, telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And, indeed, he did insist on making drums that would work only if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks.

And Dot said, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others. And, as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, "eBay," he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"Whoopee!", said Abraham.

"No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com... and that is how it all began.

It wasn't Al Gore after all.

And now you know.



14 Sep 01 - 12:14 AM (#549664)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: heric

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said: "Why the long face?"

14 Sep 01 - 12:24 AM (#549675)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll

A termite walked into a bar and said: "Is the bar tender here?"

Three musicians walked past a bar...NAH!

Kangaroo hops into a bar and orders a martini.
Bartender mixes it: "That'll be six dollars."
Kangaroo takes the money from his pouch, pays and sips his drink.
Bartender says: "We don't get many Kangaroos in here."
Kangaroo says: "At these prices, I'm not surprised."

Tow drummers walk into a bar.
You'd think the second one would have seen the first one hit it.


14 Sep 01 - 06:24 PM (#550357)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: weepiper

what's the difference between a bodhran and an onion? people cry when you cut up the onion.

14 Sep 01 - 06:41 PM (#550376)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Deda

Subject: Inner Peace
I think I've found inner peace. My therapist told me a way to achieve inner peace was to finish things I had started.
Today I finished 2 bags of potato chips, a lemon pie, a fifth of Jack Daniel's and a small box of chocolate candy. I feel better already

14 Sep 01 - 07:57 PM (#550445)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: heric

The results of my IQ test came back negative.

14 Sep 01 - 08:03 PM (#550450)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Shields Folk

Shakespeare walks into a pub and the barman says, "Get out your Bard"

14 Sep 01 - 08:09 PM (#550453)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Paul from Hull


14 Sep 01 - 08:27 PM (#550462)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Clifton53

Something I saw on a sign recently,

" If you say something in the woods, and your wife is not there to hear it, are you still wrong"?


14 Sep 01 - 09:44 PM (#550490)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Jim Dixon

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table when a very attractive blonde arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that she stripped off her clothes, rolled the dice, and yelled, "Mamma needs new clothes!"

A second later, she hollered, "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down, hugged each of the dealers, gathered up all the money, grabbed her clothes, and left. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them said, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I thought YOU were watching!"

14 Sep 01 - 10:28 PM (#550515)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll

Line Dancing: What happens when cousins breed.


15 Sep 01 - 03:17 AM (#550637)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Liz the Squeak

Hooting with laughter here....!! thank you!


He's a real action man - flock hair, realistic scar, no genitals!

15 Sep 01 - 03:35 AM (#550640)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll

Useful phrases

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

And which dwarf are you?

I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

This is a mean, cruel world and I want my nappy and medication right now!

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I see the f***-up fairy has visited us again.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.



15 Sep 01 - 06:59 AM (#550667)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Naemanson

Thanks for the gift of laughter.

15 Sep 01 - 02:36 PM (#550874)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Uncle_DaveO

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders says. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

15 Sep 01 - 02:42 PM (#550877)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Amos

LOL! Thanks!!

15 Sep 01 - 02:57 PM (#550893)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Jim Dixon

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.

The woman said, "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any painkillers because I'm in a big hurry. Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

15 Sep 01 - 03:04 PM (#550898)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Jim Dixon


From: The penis.
Subject: Raise Request
I hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I am always using my head first.
I do not get sick days, weekends off, or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.


After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration REJECTS your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit other areas.
You take a lot of breaks.
You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe OSHA measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits.
You don't like working double shifts.
You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have completed your work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying two suspicious looking bags!

15 Sep 01 - 10:20 PM (#551175)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,ro1sin

why is a bodrhan player like a foot massage

a foot massage bucks up the feet

16 Sep 01 - 01:33 PM (#551655)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Jim Dixon

Some cartoons:

The worst job in the world?

The female brain.

The male brain.

16 Sep 01 - 01:36 PM (#551660)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: selby

Thanks to all our contributors keep em coming Keith

16 Sep 01 - 02:01 PM (#551682)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Uncle_DaveO

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing: She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow, I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

"Well? Is she selling drugs?" she asked, excitement pouring out with her voice.

"No, she's not", he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

"Well? What is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesman."

"A battery salesman?" cried the wife.

(Here it comes,)

"Yes" he replied, "She sells 'C' cells by the sea shore."

17 Sep 01 - 03:17 AM (#552054)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: BlueJay

I think I like this thread more than the ones dealing with terrorism. Thanks to you all. Lots of great stuff here. BlueJay

17 Sep 01 - 12:57 PM (#552345)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Uncle_DaveO


A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said: "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and then we'll talk about it."

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said: "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."

The young man waited a moment and then replied:" You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

The rabbi said: "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went."

17 Sep 01 - 02:02 PM (#552418)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Den

A Husband and Wife who are political analysts with opposing political beliefs have a blazing row in bed. The arguement is fierce to the point that they turn they're backs on each other and lie in silence for a while. After a time the wife, wishing to break the ice turns to her husband and whispers coyly, "there's been a split in my party and if your member stood now he could get in." The husband replies without turning round, " you're too late he already stood as an independant and lost his deposit." Den

17 Sep 01 - 02:22 PM (#552443)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Mrrzy

Those cartoons must be good, my work browser is blocking them!

17 Sep 01 - 02:55 PM (#552475)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: selby

Q Whats irish and stays out in the garden.

A Patio Furniture Keith

17 Sep 01 - 03:15 PM (#552500)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Jim Dixon

Back in the last century, a young girl was being courted. As was the custom, the boy asked her to go for a ride in his buggy. It was winter, and the girl had recently lost her gloves. So, before she left home, her mother told her, "If your hands get cold, just put them between your legs. That's the warmest part of your body."

As it happened, the boy had lost his gloves, too. After a mile or so of keeping his hands on the reins, he said, "Boy, are my hands cold!"

The girl said, "Why don't you put your hands between my legs? My mother said that's the warmest part of my body."

The boy does so, and soon his hands are comfortably warm. Then he has an idea. He says, "Boy, is my penis cold!" (You can guess the result . . .)

Later, at home, the girl asks her mother, "Mama, what do you know about penises?"

Mama, quite shocked, says, "Well, why don't you first tell me what YOU know about penises?"

The girl thinks a bit and says, "Well, when they're frozen stiff, they're really kind of nice. But when they thaw out, they sure make a mess!"

17 Sep 01 - 03:30 PM (#552514)
Subject: RE: BS: humour

This came to me from Kendall:
The guy was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of ! the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

17 Sep 01 - 03:41 PM (#552520)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: kendall

Why is a banjo solo like premature ejaculation?

You can feel it coming on, but, ther's not a damn thing you can do to stop it/

17 Sep 01 - 03:47 PM (#552537)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Gareth

And on the subject of Sheep - a traditional round from the Romney Marsh.

To the Tune of London Bridge

"Oh hand me down me welly boots,
welly boots, welly boots,BR> Oh hand me down me welly boots,
I've just caught one."


17 Sep 01 - 04:32 PM (#552580)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll

And we should remember also that great Irish explorer; Mark O'Polo.

Q. What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and sticky?

A. A stick of chewing gum.

Q. What part of the humen body can expand to ten times it's normal size when stimulated?

Wait for it...


A. The pupil of the eye.
If you thought it was something else, you are in for a terrible disappointment.


17 Sep 01 - 07:06 PM (#552689)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Gareth

Then there was this English Tourist touring Wales by car, and he's lost.

And he see's this old man sitting on a bench.

"I say, Taffy, which way is it to LLanfair Caeredigien ?"

"'Ere," says the old man, "How did you know my name was Taffy ?"

"I Guessed, I Guessed !" Said the Tourist.

"Well guess the way to Bl***y LLanfair Caeredigien !"


17 Sep 01 - 07:18 PM (#552698)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,frankie

More sheep humor:

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

17 Sep 01 - 07:40 PM (#552713)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: SharonA

Non-sheep humor:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. And inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

17 Sep 01 - 09:06 PM (#552781)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST, I, hurricane

Cows: (okay bulls, then for sticklers):

What do you call a cow masturbating in the kitchen?

18 Sep 01 - 11:42 AM (#553218)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Uncle_DaveO

And the answer is.......??

18 Sep 01 - 12:37 PM (#553267)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Clifton53

A swashbuckler strolls into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but notice the small helms wheel attached to his crotch.

" Excuse me there Long John, but what's with the wheel"?

" AAARRRRGGGHHHH me bucko, 'tis in case I find a wench what wants 'ta drive me nuts".


18 Sep 01 - 01:03 PM (#553286)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Walking Eagle

A man and his wife, both 60, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. They were visisted by the Wedding Anniversary Fairy Godmother. She asked the wife what she would like for their anniversary and the wife replied that , "I would like tickets for us to travel around the world." Poof! The wife had tickets and travel arrangements in her hand. The W.A.F.G. asked the husband what he would like for his anniversary. "Well, I would like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." Poof! He was now 90 years old!

18 Sep 01 - 01:15 PM (#553295)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: heric

Beef Strokinoff!! HA!

(I had to tell it in two parts because the question is funnier than the answer)

18 Sep 01 - 03:34 PM (#553416)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: weepiper

I wish I'd thought of these but I got forwarded them...
Why did the chicken cross the road?

We finally have answers...

Jerry Falwell
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

Pat Buchanan
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Dr. Seuss
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Ronald Reagan
What chicken?

Ken Starr
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Reverend Jerry Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

Captain James T. Kirk
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

The Bible
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken: "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

18 Sep 01 - 03:51 PM (#553426)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Mr Red

Why did the movie-mad chicken cross the road?
to see Gregory Peck

I thank you.

18 Sep 01 - 04:52 PM (#553471)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Gareth

OooooH ! Those were realley fowl jokes.


18 Sep 01 - 05:19 PM (#553493)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Walking Eagle

What's the difference between a large pizza and a percussionist?

A lagre pizza can feed a family of four!

18 Sep 01 - 09:20 PM (#553601)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: JohnInKansas

Tourists in Texas ask:

Why did the armadillo cross the road?

Any knowledgeable Texan will tell you the question is invalid as stated. There is no evidence indicating that an armadillo ever made it across the road.

As to the possibly valid:

Why did the armadillo TRY to cross the road?

Nobody knows.


19 Sep 01 - 02:47 AM (#553747)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Souter

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go back home

Why did the chicken cross the road
He didn't. He got hit by a truck halfway across

Why did the flamingo cross the road
Well, after the incident with the truck, the chicken retired and moved to Florida.

19 Sep 01 - 04:58 AM (#553775)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: CharlieA

What do you have if you have one big green ball in one hand and another big green ball in the other....................................

Total control of the Jolly Green Giant!


19 Sep 01 - 05:59 AM (#553788)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Crazy Eddie

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because there were no chickens in those days.

Why did the hedge-hog cross the road?
To see his flat mate.

19 Sep 01 - 06:20 AM (#553793)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice

Five major insurance companies are contemplating a merger. As is usual, the PR people have decided that it is essential that a new logo be created to "brand" the new conglomerate.

The design was sub-contracted to numerous graphic designers, and, in due time, the PR department received back a variety of designs. There were the usual insurance company cliches, golden discs, castles, chainmail gauntlets, plus the inevitable undecipherable squiggles. One design, however, stood out. It was a shield, quartered, with a circle in the centre. In each quarter was a representation of a man and woman making love, on the centre circle, a baby.

They knew that they could never use the design, but called the designer in to explain his creation.

"It's very simple," he said, "The man at top left is making love to his wife, that's Legal & General. The man at top right is making love to his mistress, that's Mutual Trust. The man bottom left is making love to a prostitute, that's Commercial Union, and the man bottom right is making love to his secretary, that's Employer's Liability. Oh, and the baby in the middle? General Accident, of course!"

20 Sep 01 - 06:53 PM (#555239)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: tremodt

a man wakes up with a hangover and he puts on his robe he reaches into his left pocket and pulls out a braseereand say i wonder wher i was last nite he reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a pair of panties and says wow i must have had a good time he goes into the bathroom and looks in the mirrow and there is a little string hanging out of his mouth and he says if there is a god in heaven please let this be a teabag

20 Sep 01 - 07:21 PM (#555264)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: heric

. . . Monica kneeling in front of Ken Starr, who is tied with his arms up, and Bill says, there is some poetic justice, I suppose, in this as my punishment, I'll take this room, and the Devil said "Okay Monica, get up and come with me, you're being replaced."

20 Sep 01 - 10:43 PM (#555402)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll

Why did the possum cross the road?
To show the chicken that it could be done.

Have you ever seen a flight of geese, in a "V" formation, flying South for the winter?
If you will think back and try to visualize that sight in your mind, you will recall that one side of the "V" was longer than the other.
Have you got the picture now? One side IS longer, isn't it?
Do you know why it's longer?
It's longer because there are more geese on that side.


21 Sep 01 - 08:17 AM (#555655)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Crazy Eddie

Thanks Troll,
I always thought it was longer 'cos there were fewer geese on the other side! :o)

21 Sep 01 - 08:59 AM (#555676)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Mrrzy

A teabag! LOL!

21 Sep 01 - 09:32 PM (#556295)
Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Dead Horse

"It's longer because there are more geese on that side." Nah! It's because the one in the middle don't know the way.