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17 Oct 01 - 07:08 PM (#574459) Subject: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Bert We were checking out at the grocery store this evening and the young cashier had a tickle in her throat. She just couldn't stop coughing. And I couldn't help it, I said "I'ts probably Anthrax". Fortunately she had a sense of humour and by the time she stopped laughing her cough had gone. BAD, BAD Bertie |
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17 Oct 01 - 07:13 PM (#574463) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Sorcha Bad bertie. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. |
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17 Oct 01 - 07:27 PM (#574468) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: catspaw49 Yep Bert......That's become my answer to everyone's complaint over the past few days.......
"I Feel really cold"
"I have a headache." Today I was at the Shoot'N Scoot and one of the regular morning coffee klatch was saying that his wife's car wouldn't start so as I passed I said, "Probably anthrax." One guy laughed after about 5 seconds, then they all got it...........Great to live in the boonies! Let's face it Bert.....we're a few microbes shy of an infection. Spaw
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17 Oct 01 - 07:41 PM (#574486) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: McGrath of Harlow You have to know when you can get away with that sort of stuff though - people working in grocery stores can have a sense of humour, but I wouldn't advise making a crack like that anywhere round a government establishment. |
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17 Oct 01 - 11:53 PM (#574642) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Lyrical Lady Maybe grocerie store workers are not all that safe ... yesterday, the cashier on our bc ferry opened a roll of quarters and found it was laced with "white powder' .. shut down our service for the day ... who knows where the quarters came from ... could have been from anywhere in Canada. She really thought it "probably WAS anthrax"! ... LL |
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18 Oct 01 - 12:04 AM (#574645) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: GutBucketeer We were in the elevator today and a Federal Express Man got on with a load of packages. One of the passengers started hasseling him about how he is now uncomfortable with delivery guys on the elevator. I then made the "joke" that what he really need was a small can of baby powder for creeps like the other guy (Just surrripticously sprinkle some powder on a package and then sneeze in the guys direction). NO ONE Thought it was funny. Nor did they think it funny when I suggested that that would be a good way to eliminate over crowding on the subway car you are on. Bad Jim, Bad Jim, Go Sit with Bert. |
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18 Oct 01 - 12:06 AM (#574647) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: ddw I think "probably anthrax" would be a great line in a Tim Hortons doughnut shop. Probably stop the Canadian economy dead in its tracks. david |
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18 Oct 01 - 12:44 AM (#574660) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Metchosin They're probably safe from anthrax in the boonies of BC Lyrical Lady, the white powder turned out to be chalk that was used in BC Ferries own coin rolling process.
But I'd think twice about making public jokes, even here in the boonies. (Law enforcement here isn't particularly noted for its sense of humour, even in the best of times, and these aren't the BEST of times). Today, a woman in West Vancouver was arrested and charged with assault, after an argument with a store clerk, in which she told the clerk, as a parting shot, to watch out for anthrax. DUMB MOVE, but then again, maybe she wasn't here when the Canadian government invoked the War Measures Act in 1970, she might have been more circumspect. At least she is charged with something and not just spending her time languishing in jail for weeks on end. |
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18 Oct 01 - 01:16 AM (#574666) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Lyrical Lady I would like to think that we are safe here in the boonies Met ... the point I was trying to make is that ... money is past from place to place, from hand to hand, who knows where it's been and who's been handling it. Just a thought .... LL |
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18 Oct 01 - 01:48 AM (#574673) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Bert Way to go Jim, maybe you me and Spaw need a trip to the NYCFTTS. |
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18 Oct 01 - 02:11 AM (#574675) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Metchosin There probably is worse stuff than anthrax on money LL and we've survived so far, so as I said on another thread, wash your hands and don't pick your nose.*BG*
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18 Oct 01 - 02:52 AM (#574685) Subject: I couldn't help myself From: Clinton Hammond As the song says... "Nothing rhymes with paranoia" Anthrax?!?! Pffft... You have any idea how ASTRONIMICAL the odds are or -you- contracting it are?!?!?!?!?! You have a better chance of winning the lottery! |
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18 Oct 01 - 03:17 AM (#574695) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Clinton Hammond 'are of you contracting it are'??? Must be time for bed.... ;-) |
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18 Oct 01 - 05:27 AM (#574728) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: GUEST,Sledge Just to show how politcians are ready to milk most things, one of our ministers has recently anounced that all hoaxers can expect a 7 year prison sentence if convicted. I imagine that anyone so convicted would then be subjected to jokes about bending over in the showers and sharing a cell with Bubba of the unsavoury habits. There was also an item on the news about a US town that has an Anthrax street, how the hell did that happen. Sledge |
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18 Oct 01 - 05:27 AM (#574729) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: McGrath of Harlow I remember reading that 90% of paper currency in the US and the UK, or something of that order, was found to have a trace residuw of cocaine powder on it. Different white powder of course, but noone gets high sniffing five pound notes in their change. There has to be a certain minimum quantity, and that goes for anthrax as well. |
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18 Oct 01 - 10:11 AM (#574843) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie My coworker Lori was pulling our other coworker Pat's leg about anthrax. After we had a little good-natured confab, Lori's husband Ed called - he is a real cutup. And he said, Kim, what are you doing? Oh, I said, we were just talkin about the anthrax. He said, I took the Anthrax train from Memphis once - I thought it was pretty neat. :-D Ed can go sit with Jim and Bert. |
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19 Oct 01 - 12:45 AM (#575314) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: ddw I was just joking when I mentioned Tim Hortons, but when I went in one today —— you guessed it —— there wasn't a single doughnut in the place with powdered sugar on it. cracked me up.... david |
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19 Oct 01 - 04:06 PM (#575796) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: wildlone At least it might stop people sniffing white powder. dave |
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19 Oct 01 - 04:15 PM (#575806) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: sophocleese Walking home just before noon today I found the sidewalk in front o fthe post office blocked off by police and the employees standing around in a nervous huddle. Two guys were standing at the corner joking about the usefulness of attacking Orillia. I haven't heard any news about what went on today, but if I'd known the guys I'd have joked with them as well. Yesterday at the family resource centre I overheard two mothers talking about changing diapers or, as they phrased it, dealing with the bio-hazards. I laughed and commented about how quickly such phrases shift into common usage. |
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19 Oct 01 - 05:52 PM (#575876) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: SharonA For my Halloween costume, I think I'll braid my hair, wear a sweater-dress, cover myself with flour until it sticks nicely in my braids and in the knit of the dress, and go as Ann Thrax. (okay, not really; it was just a can't-help-it thought) |
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19 Oct 01 - 06:59 PM (#575935) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Mr Red I started pushing my mouse around at work before I realised the guys had put milk powder on the mouse pad. I am known as a joker (verbal, not practical) so they felt safe with the joke. So did I, but some folks thought it in bad taste. I agree, it's like bull's milk, much prefer the fresh stuff. |
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08 Nov 01 - 04:06 AM (#588085) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Wolfgang A German tourist has been sentenced to jail on probation in the USA (Virginia) and had to leave the country. When her suitcase was searched at the airport she had said 'The bomb is in the other suitcase.' Wolfgang |
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08 Nov 01 - 08:58 AM (#588162) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: GUEST Did they check the other suitcase? ;) |
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08 Nov 01 - 09:03 AM (#588165) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: GUEST Watch out! Now emails are being laced with anthrax as well! |
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08 Nov 01 - 10:49 AM (#588233) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Mary in Kentucky We have a joke going around about the UK (University of Kentucky) football team. (It's been a reeeeally bad year.) They saw a white powder on the field, and had to shut everything down for a couple of hours. Then they discovered that it was the GOAL LINE! I no longer tell my jokes about the terrorist and PMS, nor do I refer to my Yorkies as Yorkshire Terrorists. It's just not funny anymore. |
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08 Nov 01 - 11:26 AM (#588260) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Rick Fielding Hi Bert. We're updating our address book. Which penal institution will you be residing in? By the way, watch out for the "penals" Rick and Heather |
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08 Nov 01 - 11:38 AM (#588263) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Steve in Idaho I work in an Air Force base hospital - not a joke here - I can't even imagine the response we would get from that type of a joke. The Boise airport was evacuated yesterday, including an aircraft readying for takeoff, simply because it was noted that the metal detector shut down for 20 seconds. We've still got troops in bunkers at the gate with machineguns - At home it's funny - must be a situational thing - eh?? I agree that I would win the lottery before contracting that crap - but then I am in a high risk space and time - maybe I should buy a lotto ticket? Does my odds of winning go up with increased odds of exposure?? Steve |
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08 Nov 01 - 11:49 AM (#588267) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Jeri Having worked in Air Force hospitals, I'd suspect the jokes are still flying fast and furious - starting with the doctors, and probably NOT shared with patients, outsiders, and insiders who don't share their sense of humor. The higher the "sphincter factor," the more jokes. Not practical jokes, mind you. If they found out who left the talcum powder on the keyboard, you'd probably never see that person again until the court martial/trial. |
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08 Nov 01 - 12:01 PM (#588280) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: Steve in Idaho True story Jeri *G* - especially not around SFS! Steve |
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08 Nov 01 - 12:09 PM (#588284) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: SharonA Rick Fielding asks in which penal institution Bert will be |
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08 Nov 01 - 12:23 PM (#588292) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: SINSULL I am getting tired of over-sensitive people. My doctor's secretary (also his wife) was decked out in a mask and gloves yesterday in order to open their mail. She takes Cipro like aspirin. The Empire State building is being forced to edit out a scene in their movie where you appear to be on a plane near the WTC when a storm hits. I carry a small bottle of baby powder with me most of the time. Think it will get me arrested? Had I been on the elevator with you, I would have laughed Jim - Promise. I say "Anthrax" now every time a cat coughs up a hairball. They seem to like the drama. |
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08 Nov 01 - 02:12 PM (#588406) Subject: RE: BS: I couldn't help myself - REALLY From: SharonA Copied from the "Ian B's Charity CD/tape is ready!" thread: (posted by Ian B, 07-Nov-01 - 01:37 PM) "Let me tell you a perfectly true story from England. "A public-relations girl for a ski-ing holiday company was, last week, promoting her winter holidays, and thinking what a neat trick it would be to include packets of fake snow in her press releases to journalists. "She was sealing down the 50th envelope when it suddenly occurred to her....!!!!" |