|
11 Dec 01 - 02:43 AM (#607730) Subject: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Mark Cohen I don't remember who it was who recommended the online folk music station KPIG.com, but it's wonderful! And they have some other cool stuff, like this advice to the diet-lorn for the holidays. Enjoy! Aloha, Mark It's easy to dislike this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the FOOD POLICE come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief! Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I don't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own LIST OF TIPS for holiday eating. 1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate. 10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner. |
|
11 Dec 01 - 02:59 AM (#607734) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Mark Cohen Ummm...just to clarify, the reason somebody mentioned KPIG is that they host the Folkscene folk radio program. KPIG's programming is a little more country oriented, but still not bad, from what I heard. Aloha, Mark |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:02 AM (#607776) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: catspaw49 Well Mark, since you're a Doctor and all, I sent this out to some friends, including some 'Catters that might miss it. These are good non-Martha, non-Weight Watcher, non-Heart Association, tips and I wanted to be sure this got out before Christmas. I'd hate to see anyone missing out on good gravy and giving their children a carrot stick memory! Spaw |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:21 AM (#607783) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Mary in Kentucky But Mark, around here the fruitcakes have Bourbon in them! |
|
11 Dec 01 - 10:59 AM (#607818) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Morticia This may be the first time I have ever followed a doctor's advice and enjoyed it, thanks Mark! |
|
11 Dec 01 - 11:11 AM (#607821) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Bert Did you ever notice how women's magazines consist of half luscious recipes, and half dieting and weight loss tips;-) |
|
11 Dec 01 - 03:47 PM (#607931) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) EGGNOG 24 eggs separated 4 cups sugar 2 fifths brandy 2 fifths sour mash bourbon Beat yolks and 2 cups sugar until light yellow and fluffy. Gradually beat in brandy, sour mash and 4 quarts cream. Beat whites in separate bowl until they hold soft peaks. Beat in 2 cups sugar, about a tablespoon-full at a time. Beat until very firm. Fold egg whites into remaining cream. Stir lightly into liquor mixture. Allow eggnog to stand in a cool place for 6 to 12 hours. A stoneware crock is ideal. Serve eggnog sprinkled with fresh grated nutmeg. Makes about 12 quarts. Serve left-over sour mash and single malts to them as don't cotton to eggnog. |
|
11 Dec 01 - 03:51 PM (#607935) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: catspaw49 Yummm!! One question though........To keep my eggs separated, should I divide them up in teams of 12 or would smaller teams be better? Will they fight a lot? And how should I separate them? Would putting them in different rooms help? Spaw |
|
11 Dec 01 - 04:54 PM (#607980) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Oh, woe! I left out the 6 quarts of heavy cream. Put catspaw in a separate room locked away from the booze. |
|
11 Dec 01 - 07:07 PM (#608056) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: GUEST,Mark Cohen, cleaned out too many cookies Actually, 'Spaw, under the new government regulations it's illegal to separate eggs. Aloha, Mark |
|
11 Dec 01 - 07:32 PM (#608072) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: alison Here's a warning from the Ozzie bureau of statistics
Christmas is dangerous !
A little Christmas cheer for all From the Australian Bureau of Statistics:
31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
and finally: stay safe slainte alison |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:26 PM (#608096) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: ddw Mark, All sound advice I'm sure — except for the fruitcake thing. That — be it laced with bourbon, sherry or dark rum — should ALWAYS be eaten with a generous slide of very old cheddar laid across the top. Cuts the sweetness, you know.... cheers and happy debauchery, david |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:27 PM (#608097) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: ddw Damn! that should be "slice of very old cheddar" But I'll bet you guessed that.... david |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:34 PM (#608099) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: GUEST Or a slice of good blue Stilton from England. I agree, however, that a good three year old cheddar is hard to beat. I see in the paper that a Frenchman has developed a method of adding more flavor to cheddar. Too many people think of Kraft slices or Velveeta when cheddar is mentioned, including this guy. |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:40 PM (#608102) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: ddw Agreed, guest.... Blue anything is good with fruitcake, but Stilton is one of the best. Kraft cheese. That's an oxymoron, isn't it? david |
|
11 Dec 01 - 08:51 PM (#608105) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Mark Cohen alison, you had me believing it until the part with the 9V batteries. That makes it urban legend for sure! Oh, and...eye sockets? Is that some kind of weird Aussie ritual? ("Eyeball. Australian for bottle opener.") Aloha, Mark |
|
11 Dec 01 - 09:02 PM (#608112) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) My mention of Kraft caused me to lose my cookies. Dicho |
|
11 Dec 01 - 09:35 PM (#608118) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: ddw And rightly so, Dicho! |
|
11 Dec 01 - 10:06 PM (#608132) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: catspaw49 Well Mark, it's either urban legend or, for a continent/country/island with the population of Australia, they have a very high percentage of dumbasses. Now Ozzies, don't get me wrong, I think the Aussie sense of humor is second to none, but eye sockets? I do remember that when the crew of Dame Pattie showed up in Newport, they were a veteran crew in their 30's and 40's racing guys in their 20's (except for skippers). Sadly, Dame Pattie should have been named Damn Pity because it was one of the slowest 12 Metres ever. But the Aussies came to town with T-Shirts saying, on the front--"We may be slow but we're good" and on the back--"Daughters, guard your mothers." Spaw |
|
11 Dec 01 - 11:23 PM (#608158) Subject: RE: BS: KPIG's tips for holiday eating From: rangeroger Mark, I was the one who recommended KPIG. Most of the DJs are friends of mine as they also run Hog Ranch Radio, our radio station at Strawberry Music Festival. Praise The Lard David, you could have a slide of cheddar chesse. And your guitar strings would be a cheese slicer when you played. rr |