To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=42382
17 messages

BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!

23 Dec 01 - 03:02 PM (#615395)
Subject: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: katlaughing

The Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas On the 12th day of the Euro centrically imposed midwinter festival, My Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

a. TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

b. ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play even one note)

^^^ c. TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

d. NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-statement

e. EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans

f. SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands

g. SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

h. FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration.
NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.

a. FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

b. THREE deconstructionist poets

c. TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and

d. ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Oh, whatever!

Happy Holidays!! *

*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with the suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.


23 Dec 01 - 03:44 PM (#615431)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Morticia

ROTFLMAO


23 Dec 01 - 03:49 PM (#615433)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: catspaw49

But it doesn't scan............

On the floor with Mortie! Not because I'm laughing, I just wanted to get down here.....Now if we could just get some oil..............

Very funny katmyluv!!!!!!

Spaw


23 Dec 01 - 04:09 PM (#615442)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: GUEST,Desdemona

That is BRILLIANT! Thanks for the laugh!


23 Dec 01 - 04:58 PM (#615474)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Banjer

Move over, Mortie and Catspaw, there ain't enough floor here for all of us!!!!! Very Good, Kat!


23 Dec 01 - 05:08 PM (#615476)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: GUEST,Desdemona

*SOB*.....it was the enslaved Bovine-Americans that really got to me.....mooooooooo!


23 Dec 01 - 05:15 PM (#615482)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: wysiwyg

Hardi and I are snickering in full appreciation. Kat, come on over and do it with us some Saturday night after the service for our congregation!

~S~


23 Dec 01 - 05:48 PM (#615500)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: katlaughing

Ah, shucks, I can't take credit...good ol' WyoWoman sent it to me by email this morning. Glad you all've enjoyed it. I thought it was pretty hilarious, too.

Thanks!

kat


23 Dec 01 - 06:37 PM (#615528)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: vectis

Nice one Kat. LOL
Mary


23 Dec 01 - 06:54 PM (#615542)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Snuffy

It's been right here in the DT database since before Dick started putting dates on new entries TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (PC). Many thanks to M McP.

WassaiL! V


23 Dec 01 - 07:08 PM (#615551)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: katlaughing

Sorry, wasn't looking for it, just wanted to share. Good to know it is in there.


23 Dec 01 - 10:03 PM (#615612)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle

Meow Meow...A PlAGERIZING "professional writer?"

OH SHAME....NEVER!

OH SHAME....NEVER!


23 Dec 01 - 11:05 PM (#615634)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: leprechaun

Thanks happycat. That was fun.


24 Dec 01 - 12:46 AM (#615655)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: katlaughing

Oh, Greg, if it's really you, get a grip. It's floating around in emails all over the place. Why don't you log in and check your PM's. Coming in Paltalk sometime soon?


24 Dec 01 - 05:24 AM (#615698)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Guessed

so where was the entreaty to a pleasurable Dewali, RAMadan (very PC that), Winter Solstice and a Very Ambivalent Agnostia?
PC is as PC does.
***BG***


24 Dec 01 - 06:23 AM (#615717)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Coyote Breath

Oh Kat! that is as good or even better than "Yet Another Partridge In a Pear Tree" Ya know, the one where Cynthia Bracegirdle is sent over the edge (literally) by her swain Algernon Smythe's obsession with being literal?

Kudos to Wyoming Woman!

I hope I can get that down in time for our Christmas Eve.

On Christmas eve, when we were kids, Dad used to drive us around while Mom had a lay-down. We would go to see all the decorations and whilst driving about we kids and Dad would sing Christmas Carols. We saved the 12 days for last. We never could get through it without mangling the verses and of course as we grew older we mangled gleefully. At one point or another we would become totally unhinged and have to repair to home for hot chocolate. We would find that while Mom was napping SC had come, Ate the cookies, drank the hot chocolate and left stuff.

It was the best present ever, just to do that riding around enjoying each other's giggles.

CB


24 Dec 01 - 06:29 AM (#615722)
Subject: RE: BS: Have a laugh- PC 12 Days of Christmas!
From: Paul from Hull

Hehehehehe....