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23 Dec 01 - 04:31 PM (#615457) Subject: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Gerald Forrester Anyone recall the words to this little bawdy? I heard the tune the other day and it remiminded me of the song that i sang as a student in Exeter many years ago. All i recall is - When the train is in the station please refrain from urination . . . apologies for the rudeness - iy is a good song. Gerald - Scotland |
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23 Dec 01 - 04:49 PM (#615466) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: catspaw49 CLICK HERE Spaw A selection from the World's Largest Hardcopy Hash SongbookGlobal Trash Hash HymnalHumoresque(To: Humoresque) I love to go out after dark, And goose the statues in the park, A lovely pastime at the close of day! Unperturbed they stand so still, While whoops! it's me that gets the thrill. It really is a lovely way to play. I've noticed lately, They stand so stately, Out there in the dark when dew is on the ground. I sometimes tease them, And do displease them, If I fail to show up as the sun goes down. The Thinker is the only one, With whom I can have no fun. He sits upon a boulder, rough and coarse. Napoleon sits upon his steed, I cannot goose him, no indeed, And so instead I goose his horse. Passengers will please refrain, From flushing toilets while the train, Is standing in the station, I love you. We encourage constipation, While the train is in the station, Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you simply have to go, When other people are too slow, There is only one thing you can do. You'll just have to take a chance, Be brave and do it in your pants, But I'll forgive you, darling, I love you. Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, Get your big ass off the table, Don't you know the quarter is for beer? You can always earn your pay, But make your tips another way, And I'll forgive you, darling, I love you. Ever since you met our Nelly, She's had trouble with her belly, Wish you'd never seen our little town! Ever since I met your Venus, I've had trouble with my penis, Wish I'd never seen your little town. Was it you who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down? Was it your sly woodpecker, That got into my girl Rebecca? If it was, you better leave this town. It was I who did the pushin', Put the stains upon the cushion, Footprints on the dashboard upside down. But since I got into your daughter, I've had trouble passing water, Now I guess we're even all around. [Go to top] [Return to Hymnal Index] This page provided as a free service and The Worldwide Hash House Harriers Home Page supported by Global Trash, the worldwide Hash House Harriers publication. The complete Hash Hymnal and the convenient pocketsized Mini-Hymnal are available in a hardcopy book and on disk. Copyright 1998 by Larry J. McDowell dba Global Trash all rights reserved, Hash Hymnal lyrics were contributed to GT, collected from the public domain or written by the copyright holder. If there is a problem concerning the rights of a set of lyrics, it was not intentional and please contact gt@gthhh.com to state your concern. Any Hash House Harriers group may copy lyrics from this hymnal for their further enjoyment, however the hymnal is not to be the source of a work which is then later sold. In other words, the editor worked to compile these for the enjoyment of Hash House Harriers, not for the profit of others. |
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23 Dec 01 - 04:52 PM (#615470) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: catspaw49 This Version in the DT.
Spaw HUMORESQUE (DT Lyrics) Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station Moonlight always makes me think of you If you really must pass water Kindly call the Pullman porter He'll place a vessel in your vestibule As I sit here tearing tissue Oh, my darling, how I miss you Everything I do, I do for you. Since I'm going with your daughter I've had trouble passing water Sorry that I ever came to town I'm the guy that did the pushin' Dirtied up the front seat cushion Footprints on the dashboard upside down Promenading in the park, Goosing statues after dark If Sherman's horse can take it why can't you To the tune of Humoresque @bawdy filename[ HUMORESQ DC |
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23 Dec 01 - 06:12 PM (#615513) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Cobble When the train is in the station please refrain from urination, have reguards for railway property. If you feel you really ought to go and see the railway porter, he'll show you where you can spend a penny. Cobble. |
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23 Dec 01 - 07:20 PM (#615561) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Liz the Squeak There is '[a;nyhttttttttttttttiuuuother very British version
Gentlemen must please refrain can't remember the next lines, but it continues:
Tramps and hoboes underneath LTS Sorry, new cat with bad keyboard etiquette.... he will keep standignt on my table. |
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24 Dec 01 - 02:49 AM (#615682) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Genie The song is, of course, a parody of Humoresque. There's a parody of the parody in Song Challenge! Part 77 here. Genie |
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24 Dec 01 - 04:23 AM (#615694) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Mark Cohen And I believe (unless it's another urban legend) that it's based on a sign that was posted in railroad car bathrooms in the days when the potty would empty directly onto the tracks beneath. Aloha, Mark |
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24 Dec 01 - 05:09 AM (#615696) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Guessed quite right Mark the reason they needed the train moving was 1) out of the area of the general public and 2) the kinetic energy of the er..... solid matter, was used to disintegrate said sausages on impact with the sleepers. don't I talk a load of crap? |
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24 Dec 01 - 06:13 AM (#615714) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: John MacKenzie Newly weds within the carriage Please don't consummate your marriage While the train is standing here at Crewe. Please restrain that natural function, Till we get to Clapham Junction, Where there's really sod all else to do. Merry Chri8stmas...Jock |
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24 Dec 01 - 02:14 PM (#615883) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Jeanie Brilliant ! Brilliant! Thank you all so much ! My daughter plays "Humoresque" on the flute and she just didn't believe me that there were these wonderful words to it, and I could only vaguely remember them. Spookily,I was only mentioning this to IanB yesterday and saying "I'll have to post a thread on Mudcat to see if anyone knows the words." Spooky ... Many thanks - wish I'd had a £5 bet with her, now ... - Jeanie |
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01 Jan 02 - 11:20 PM (#619741) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Jim Dixon Mark Cohen: It's not an urban legend. I clearly remember that when I was a kid, the toilets of American passenger trains emptied directly onto the tracks. Of course, they didn't empty until you flushed them. In daylight hours, you could look down and see the ties (sleepers) passing by while you held the handle down. And there was a sign asking passengers not to flush while the train was in a station. I don't recall the exact words, but I think the lyrics I am familiar with ("Passengers will please refrain / From flushing toilets while the train / Is standing in a station…") are a fair paraphrase. The original didn't rhyme or have such good meter, though. I also remember a very painfully embarrassing experience I had when I was about 12 years old in 1959 or so, traveling by train from St. Louis, MO, to Los Angeles, CA. Late one night, while my parents were asleep, and the train was standing in the station, I HAD to go. I took the sign very seriously, so I decided, when I finished my business, to stand and wait until the train pulled out of the station, and then flush. I waited and waited and waited. Someone knocked on the door and I ignored them. The conductor came with a key and unlocked the door. He closed the door immediately, saying, "Someone's in there," and went away. But my cover having been blown, so to speak, I decided to hold out no longer. I opened the door and explained the situation to the gentleman who was standing there with his little boy, about 3 years old, I suppose, who also had to go. I let them in, and sheepishly went back to my seat. After they went back to their seats, I had to satisfy my curiosity. I went back and checked the toilet, and I saw that they had flushed –- both theirs and mine –- onto the track. And it was still several minutes before the train pulled out. As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up. |
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02 Jan 02 - 12:07 AM (#619753) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: catspaw49 Yeah Jim.....My Dad was an Pennsy engineer and we traveled free by train back in my childhood (when there were still passenger trains) and I remember reading those signs as some of my earliest "reading".....and also asking why! AS a 6 year old I was pretty disgusted and remember always looking a bit differently at the tracks by the depot. JOKE: Two winos are wandering along the railroad tracks. On board the oncoming passenger train is a guy in the restroom who has found the toilet broken. He can't wait any longer, so as the train speeds along, he hangs his ass out the window and "lets it fly." The train is just passing the two winos and they get hit with the shit and knocked to the ground. The first wino, dazed, asks, "My gawd what kind of tobacco was that guy chewin'?" The other one answers, "I dunno', but did you see the lips on that motherfucker?" Spaw |
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02 Jan 02 - 12:53 AM (#619762) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Mark Cohen Check out John Hardly's post about halfway through this Steve Goodman thread for a wonderful story about Steve in a similar situation. Aloha, Mark |
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02 Jan 02 - 02:22 PM (#619976) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Gareth The real fun goes back to the days of dear old "BRITISH RAILWAYS" Yes, they dumped it on the track. The trick was remembering not to flush while the train was in a tunnel. Nine times out of ten you would get away with it, on the 10th there would be a train approaching from the other end of the tunnel, and as the valve opened, the air presure would rise and whoosh you would get your own back. Gareth (Nostalic for Steam and the old Mark 1 carriges.) |
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02 Jan 02 - 06:23 PM (#620098) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Jim Dixon Mark, I've read the post you referred to above and I am highly skeptical. "…waste matter was sucked out of the toilet and straight back through vacuum tubes along the sides to be sprayed in a fine mist from the rear of the train." I've never heard of this technology. I've always assumed that the modern technique was to store the waste matter in a holding tank that is periodically pumped out, like those on airplanes, RV's, and portable toilets. It seems to me, if you're going to install a high-tech system like the one described, you'd also have the sense to add a switch to deactivate it when the train is stopped. Now, maybe Steve Goodman did tell the story this way, but I think he stretched the truth a little. |
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03 Jan 02 - 05:38 PM (#620561) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Liz the Squeak I always wondered why there was so much toilet paper to be seen along railway tracks...... And on the same note.... A train is travelling at speed between London and York. Suddenly it screeches to a halt, throwing passengers, luggage and conductors alike into a heaving mass. The driver announces that someone has pulled the communications cord and that the train won't move until they find who it was and help them out. As they go up and down the train, the cannot see which cord has been pulled, until one of the guards checks the toilets. 'Are you OK in there?' 'No.... I've got piles.....' The guard looks a bit askance.... 'Sir, did you pull the communication cord, just because of piles?' 'Yes' 'But sir, I have piles too, the driver has piles, and I daresay a lot of the other passengers have them as well!' 'Yes, but yours aren't wrapped around the axle!' LTS |
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24 Dec 07 - 11:07 AM (#2221918) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST My version of Humoresque is by folk singer Oscar Brand Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is in the station, (darling I love you) We encourage constipation while the train is in the station, (moonlight always makes me think of you) If you wish to pass some water Kindly call the pullman porter He'll leave a vessel in the vestabule If the porter isn't near Then Try the platform in the rear The one in front is windy Ain't love cruel? If the woman's room be taken Do not feel the least forsaken Never wave the banner of defeat Try the men'x room cross the hall And if some man has had the call What villain could deny my love the Seat? If these efforts all are vain Why not break a window pane Although this method's used by mighty few We go strolling through the park Goosing statues in the dark If Sherman's horse can take it, Why can't you? Hope this helps you out. Dan Collins DANCO330@AOL.COM |
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26 Jul 08 - 12:01 PM (#2398327) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Latex While the train is in the station Please refrain from urination Have regard for railway property If the the train is stationary And you want to go quite heavy Please don't drop you lot upon the train Along the platform you must wander And a penny you must squander To relieve yourself with might and main. Very Humeresque! |
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26 Jul 08 - 01:18 PM (#2398354) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,cookieless folkiedave the only line(s) I remember are When the train is at the station you must suffer constipation, If the train can't move then why should you;, |
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26 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM (#2398359) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: quokka Now I understand so much more about the song "City of New Orleans" - it just says 'passengers will please refrain' and I never knew until now what they were supposed to refrain from doing!!! Isn't it a graet song??? |
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27 Jul 08 - 11:48 AM (#2398758) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Rumncoke I remember Railway workers underneath are apt to get it in the teeth And they don't like it - how the Hell would you? |
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27 Jul 08 - 12:16 PM (#2398765) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: oldhippie The second verse of the Oscar Brand version has these lyrics on one of his recordings: If you wish to pass some water Kindly call the pullman porter He'll leave a vessel in the vestabule If the porter isn't near Then try the platform in the rear The one in front is Likely to be full. |
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27 Jul 08 - 08:19 PM (#2399050) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Charley Noble Old Hippie- "If you wish to pass some water Kindly call the pullman porter He'll leave a vessel in the vestabule If the porter isn't near Then try the platform in the rear The one in front is Likely to be full." That's not the way I remember this verse by Brand: If you wish to pass some water Kindly call the pullman porter He'll leave a vessel in the vestabule If the porter isn't near Then try the platform in the rear The one in front is Likely to be COOL. You're probably correct! Cheerily, Charley noble |
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27 Jul 08 - 08:43 PM (#2399064) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Rapparee If you have to pass some water Do it in the place you orter Please don't use my hat and be a pal xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If you found you hat a urinal? I also learned the first verse as: Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station; I love you. When the train is in the station We must urge you constipation If the train can't go then why should you? |
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30 Jul 08 - 12:37 PM (#2401420) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: quokka Er... when I said 'graet' obviously I meant 'Great', as in I Love This Song!! (talking about 'City of New Orleans' here...) Cheers, Quokka |
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30 Jul 08 - 01:37 PM (#2401487) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: bubblyrat I used to play, years ago (1965) with a man from Sidmouth (!), and he/we would often do that song. It started with the "Passengers will please refrain, From passing water while the train Is standing in the station in full view; Railway-workers underneath,Might catch it in the eyes or teeth, They wouldn't like it; how the Hell would YOU ? verse, then, in similar vein;- Passengers will please refrain, From throwing dog-ends down the drain; To do a thing like that is not quite right; Railway-workers on the line, might try and catch them just in time, And soggy fags are very hard to light!. Next came;- Please restrain that awful notion, To stick your head out whilst in motion: You'll be very sorry if you do; A train upon the other line,Will leave your body right behind, And a bloody soggy mess for all to view. thence to; If twenty pounds you can afford,Pull the communication cord ( it does scan, believe me !)' 'Though you'll be that much poorer if you do. But,if twenty pounds you do not own, Then leave the F---ing thing alone; And that,my friend,is my advice to you !! this is followed by the immortal Newlyweds within the carriage, Please don't consumate your marriage, Whilst the train is standing here at Crewe; Please restrain that nat'ral function, 'Til we get to Clapham Junction, Where there's really sod-all else to do. There may well have been another verse or two, but I can't remember----it was a long time ago, and I can't ask Robin Tedbury, who wrote some of the verses,as he's long gone to Fiddler's Green ( or probably Brown, in his case !! ). |
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30 Jul 08 - 02:42 PM (#2401559) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: BB Memories of Fred Wedlock some forty years ago in Bristol - ah, those were the days... |
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30 Jul 08 - 07:06 PM (#2401761) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego The one verse I did not see, among all the marvelous material above, was the one which usually springs first to mind hereabouts: "Ev'ry evening, after dark, we goose the statues in the park, If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you? Washington stood very firm, and Lincoln didn't even squirm, If they can take it...darling, why can't you?" |
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30 Jul 08 - 09:00 PM (#2401845) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F Quokka: Yes, that allusion in "City of New Orleans" is part of the charm of that song, what I call _illicitude_ (harmless illicitness). The conductor sings a mildly smutty song. There are also two allusions to race, neither very offensive; and the paper bag that holds the bottle, depriving the club car of its monopoly prices for liquor; and the public gambling for a penny a point. |
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31 Jul 08 - 12:49 PM (#2402373) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Roger in Baltimore I think there was yet another verse in a songbook by Jerry Silverman (title forgotten, but including songs guaranteed to insult someone). After you have had a purge, Or when you've had a natural urge. The management requests your learn the art. Of using roses or wisteria, Twixt the parts of your posterior, Guaranteed to camouflage a fart. Roger in Baltimore |
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31 Jul 08 - 08:56 PM (#2402725) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F Roger: That's _The Dirty Song Book_. It also supplies the missing lines in the stanza Rapaire gives: Picture, please, your consternation And your righteous indignation If, etc. and, FWIW, the following insipid stanza: Nothing looks much better Than a girl who wears a sweater, Though she may not be as big as She appears. Remember, boys, before you wed 'er, Better look inside the sweater -- Or your wedding night May end in tears. Doesn't even scan. |
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01 Aug 08 - 06:26 AM (#2402922) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Scabby Douglas My dad used to sing: Gentlemen will please refrain From passing water while the train Is standing in the station (we thank you) On a ship it doesny matter Everything goes in the watter (This applies to lady users too) The rhyming of matter and watter makes me think this was a local (Scotland or possibly just Glasgow) variant. SD |
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01 Aug 08 - 04:47 PM (#2403260) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: danensis There was a news story on the BBC website the other day about someone who was killed when he went to relieve himself, and accidently sprayed the live rail. Was that not a risk with toilets that discharged directly onto the track? |
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01 Aug 08 - 06:22 PM (#2403316) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: BB I think the song stemmed from the time of steam trains, rather than electric! Barbara |
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01 Aug 08 - 06:43 PM (#2403326) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Micca I remeber travelling through France by train about July 1988 and being able to see the sleepers whizzing by through the toilet as I whizzed... very disorientating it was too, and made me feel quite dizzy. my memory of the first verses ar as follows " Gentlemen will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the staion for a while we encourage contemplation while the train is in the station cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile While the train is staionery and you want to go quite heavy do not drop your load into the bogs tramps and hobos underneath will get it in the eye and teeth thats what they get for being the underdogs" there is more which I will add later if I can remember any of it (this is a "drunk" song , so I only remember it when Drunk Micca |
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01 Aug 08 - 08:35 PM (#2403383) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Joe_F danensis: I am skeptical. Surely, by the time the stream had hit the rail, it would have broken up into drops & not formed a conductive path. Also, the passenger would have been poorly grounded. Cf. the apocryphal story that Benjamin Franklin, who lived near a tavern, dissuaded drunks from relieving themselves against his wall by coating it with foil & connecting a charged Leyden jar between that & ground. Si non e vero, etc., but my mother, who was an expert on Franklin, told me it was not true. |
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01 Aug 08 - 08:53 PM (#2403390) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Dave Hunt I have it as When the train is in the station please refrain from urination Have respect for railway property If you really must pass water go and find a railway porter He'll direct you to the lavat'ry |
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07 Mar 09 - 03:43 PM (#2583430) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST Gentlemen must please refrain from passing water while the train is standing in the station, tra, la, la. Workmen working underneath are apt to get it in their teeth and they won't like it, nor would you! |
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03 Oct 09 - 12:20 PM (#2737339) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Toni Mayer Greetings from California. Yesterday, walking into the old boxcar that served as the public restroom at a local historical museum, into my head popped the song, "Passengers will please refrain from passing water while the train is standing in the station, I love you." This morning, curious about the history of the song, I happened on this page and have been laughing at the posts and stories going back almost a decade. I seem to have conflated several versions. I loved reading verses and versions I'd not seen before. |
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03 Oct 09 - 06:56 PM (#2737618) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: oldhippie Welcome, Toni, there's much more to Mudcat, come back often. |
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02 May 10 - 01:21 PM (#2898625) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Guest, De My dad used to sing: Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train is standing in the station (I love you) If you feel you must relieve then kindly do it up your sleeve and throw it out the window (I love you) |
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02 May 10 - 02:13 PM (#2898646) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST I had a version which went: When the train is at the station, You must suffer constipation, If the train can't move then why should you? |
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02 May 10 - 09:16 PM (#2898874) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: Charley Noble It's really weird that there are so many alternative verses to this song. You're clearly all nuts and the version I remember is right. So there! From Oscar Brand: Passengers will please refrain From flushing toilets in the train While in the station, Darling, I love you. We encourage constipation While the train is in the station, Moonlight always makes me think of you. If you want to pass some water Simpley call the pullman porter, He'll place a vessel in the vestibule; If the porter isn't near, Try the platform in the rear; The one in front is likely to be cool. If the woman's room be taken, Never fear the least forsaken, Never show a sign of sad defeat; Try the men's room 'cross the hall, And if some man has had the call He'll courteously relinquish you his seat. If these efforts prove in vain Simply break a window pane; This novel method used by very few; And as we go strolling through the park, Goosing statues in the dark, If Sherman's horse can take it, Why can't you? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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26 Oct 10 - 12:19 AM (#3015475) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When the train is in the station From: GUEST,Elizabeth Olsen My understanding is of the infamous but beautiful bawdy version that goes: Ladies and gents will kindly refrain From flushing the toilet while the train Is standing in the station - I love you - oo - oo -oo- If you feel you oughter water Press the button - call the porter And he'll place a bedpan in the aisle for you ! How I laugh at these incredibly wonderful music hall lyrics - wish I could remember more !! T'anx for the memories XOX |
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26 Oct 10 - 01:39 AM (#3015495) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: JohnInKansas The book is not close at hand a the moment, but my recollection is that "The Book of Bawdy Verse" records this one as: Passengers will please refrain From using toilets while the train Is standing in the station (We thank you) Constipation's recommended While the train is being tended If the train can't go Then why should you. A companion piece on the same page: Nothing looks much better Than a young girl in a sweater But a sweater may not be What it appears Boys, it's recommended That you see what's in the sweater Or your wedding night might end In bitter tears. No source is given for either of these, and the "author" is noted only as "by A Gentleman About Town," (Checkerbooks, ISBN 0-89009-411-X) as the original printing was at a time when it was not good for one's reputation (or survival) to be known for such stuff. I vaguely recall a couple of others to the same tune in that book, but these are the only ones I believe I recall accurately enough to quote. One of the others, I think, had something to do with a statue of a famous person and ... pigeons(?), if that jogs a memory in the darker parts of someone's recollections. John |
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26 Oct 10 - 03:58 AM (#3015533) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion Some college friends in the 1950s came up with the following [which I think genuinely original to them ~~ it appears nowhere on this thread anyhow]: ~~ Please refrain from masturbating While the train's in station waiting, Spunk may fall upon the man beneath {Plate-laying} ~Michael~ |
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26 Oct 10 - 05:45 PM (#3016227) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: beeliner ...it's based on a sign that was posted in railroad car bathrooms in the days when the potty would empty directly onto the tracks beneath. Train toilets in many European countries still so empty. |
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27 Oct 10 - 12:39 AM (#3016440) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: JohnInKansas The sign was still there in some of the rooms on the New York Central line ca 1957. As most other "equippage" apparently intended to be present was also only sporadically in place, it might be assumed that it was intended to be in all the cars. I don't recall it being on the AT&SF train on which I made the other half of that particular trip. Most of the Santa Fe equipment was apparently much more recently built, incorporating "more civilized" features similar to cross-country buses of a later era. John |
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17 Dec 10 - 06:33 PM (#3055955) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Andanotherthing My memory is of "please don't use the wc While the train is standing in the Station Better wait till you can go outside" Can't remember the rest. |
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17 Dec 10 - 11:34 PM (#3056115) Subject: RE: ADD: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Rapparee My favorite pastime after dark Is goosing statues in the park, If Sherman's horse can take it, why not you? I'll post the rest when I remember it.... |
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16 Feb 11 - 05:33 AM (#3096285) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Emma Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating when the train is in the station darling I love you. |
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16 Feb 11 - 10:49 AM (#3096496) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Dame Pattie Smith EPNS When you're on the railway train Don't pull the communication chain For you may have to pay a £5 fine So ladies when you're being molested Wait until you've been divested It ain't worth a fiver otherwise. Just thought I'd put that one in.... |
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16 Feb 11 - 11:30 AM (#3096525) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Midchuck "Humoresque" and the first part of "Swanee River" can be sung or played as counterpoint to each other. Many years ago, I saw Bill Keith play them BOTH AT ONCE on the 5-string banjo - one melody with thumb and one with fingers. In between banjo solo/duets he sang either the above verses or Swanee River, alternately. P. |
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30 Nov 11 - 03:41 AM (#3265878) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: bubblyrat I remember seeing a TV documentary some years ago , about the Sidmouth International (as it was ) Folk Festival , and there was a coloured man playing two tunes simultaneously on the banjo ; I was amazed and fascinated, but can't remember his name --does anyone out there know ? Sorry to digress !! |
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13 Feb 12 - 10:12 AM (#3307517) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST To the tune of Humoresque Gentlemen will please refrain from urinating in the train, When the train is standing in the station |
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14 Feb 12 - 09:04 AM (#3308306) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Charley Noble I seem to remember that Chief Justice William O. Douglas of the US Supreme Court had something to do with composing this song. Here's the reference from Wikipedia: The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs says that sometime in the early 1930s, according to his autobiography, Go East, Young Man (pp. 171-72), William O. Douglas and fellow Yale law school professor Thurman Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired by a sign in the toilet. "Thurman and I got the idea of putting these memorable words to music, and Thurman quickly came up with the musical refrain from Humoresque." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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27 Mar 12 - 03:53 PM (#3329779) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST Whilst the train is in the station, Please restrain from urination, If you must pass water, Ask a porter. 30 years ago on the wall of Tunbridge Wells West Station Kent |
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03 Apr 12 - 03:04 AM (#3332841) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST When the train is in the station We encourage constipation When the train is moving so can you. My great uncle taught me that after he heard me play Humoresque on the violin. I laughed so hard. |
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15 Jul 12 - 06:01 PM (#3376719) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Nancy My mother taught me this when I was small (!!) Her version began, When the train is in the station We encourage constipation. Minnie's cats are fine, and how are you? |
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15 Jul 12 - 07:40 PM (#3376761) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Very amusing, and yet another way to popularize classical music. Dvořák will easily survive this abuse of his piece, originally for piano solo, as he did with all the other abuses (with a solo violin or with sentimental lyrics). MichaelTheGM, I am not sure whether I understand the joke about plate-laying; something for Cambridge insiders? Could the imagined completion be something like: Gentlemen will please refrain? (We are four people here, of three mother tongues, and have just decided that this qualifies as folk process.) |
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15 Jul 12 - 11:31 PM (#3376834) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion No, no specific Cambridge connection to my friends' rhythmic interpolation. Google 'platelaying' and you will find much about the technique of such a task on the 'permanent way', as early works on the topic call it. ~M~ |
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16 Jul 12 - 12:25 AM (#3376846) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: Seamus Kennedy Rapparee - Benny Bell! |
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16 Jul 12 - 06:18 AM (#3376915) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Sorry, MtheGM, Google leads to a lot of information about rail building, but leaves me alone about the pun - if there is any. The only clue I found is at Urban Dictionary under plate job - is that a common practice in Cambridge? If we are really into folk research, we must not be afraid of the lowest regions ... |
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16 Jul 12 - 08:56 AM (#3376978) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: MGM·Lion No pun ~~ just an idea of what the man under the train might have been doing which added a bit of twiddle to the end of the line. Can't quite make out what you are looking for here. |
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16 Jul 12 - 03:26 PM (#3377182) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Grishka Thanks, Michael; so at least it's not a pun that everyone understands but me. Still I wonder. |
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16 Jul 12 - 05:32 PM (#3377248) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Lord Primark I used to work with the steam engines at Tyseley Musuem Depot near Birmingham in the 70s. Some of the older chaps there used to sing this song. The version they sung was: While the train is in the station please refrain from urination. Have regard for railway property. If you wish to pass on water go and ask a railway porter he'll direct you to the station lavatory. .. didn't realise it was a well known ditty. Could be they had misremembered it, or adapted it a bit. |
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16 Aug 15 - 05:38 AM (#3730665) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Me Potter In the RAF we used to sing Whwn the train is in the station Please encourage constipation Do ot leave a smaell upon the line Passengers will please refarin From passing water on the train... (Can''t remember any mopre!) |
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01 Oct 15 - 04:26 AM (#3741075) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,Sceadugenga This is how I remember it, two verses: If your train is in the station please refrain from urination have respect for railway property If you want to pass some water go and ask a railway porter he'll direct you to a lavatory If your train is stationary and you want to go quite heavy have respect for railway property, from the carriage you must wander and a penny you must squander to relieve yourself with might and main |
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14 Apr 17 - 08:47 AM (#3850477) Subject: RE: Lyr: When the train is in the station (Humoresque) From: GUEST,ffred pierssen Thanks for the thread. One of my band mates knows the song but I don't. However, I have memories of riding the train between Chicago and Washington DC in the early 1980's. I definitely could see (and hear) the tracks through the toilet. More recently -- 2014 -- on the Trans-Siberian Railway ("Rossiya") toilets were locked while at the station or passing through urban areas. Although the train itself was electric, the cars were heated with coal. Potential lyric material there. |
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26 Jul 22 - 10:59 PM (#4148481) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: GUEST This is one I remember we used to sing coming home from the "Orford" (it was a pub in Warrington) after chuckin' out time. Sung to : - Dvorák: Humoresque No. 7 in G-Flat Major If the gentlemen would please refrain from urinating while the train is standing at the platform to refuel. Those who feel they must pass water would they kindly ask the porter for the bucket in their vestibule. So while the train is in the station Please refrain from urination Have regard for railway property If you want to pass some water Go and ask the station's porter He'll direct you to the nearest lavatory Piddling while the train is moving Is another way of proving Control of hand and eye is very sure. We like to keep our toilets neat So please don't piss upon the seat Or, what is much worse, s**t upon the floor. If twenty quid you can afford, Then pull that communication cord Though you'll be that much poorer if you do. But,if twenty quid you do not own, Then leave the Fu***ng thing alone; And that,my friend,is my advice to you !! In the carriage there's a chain That if you pull, it stops the train There's a twenty pound fine if you are unwise So, ladies if you're being molested Wait until you've been divested Or it isn't worth four fivers other wise Newly weds within the carriage Please don't consummate your marriage While the train is standing here at Crewe. Please restrain that natural function, Till we get to Clapham Junction, Where you'll find there's fu** all else to do. Passengers should please refrain, From throwing dog-ends down the drain; To do a thing like that is not quite right; Railway-workers on the line, might try and catch them just in time, And soggy fags are Fu***n' hard to light!. There were a couple more verses but I can't remember 'em. |
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05 Apr 23 - 01:16 PM (#4169316) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: GUEST,Gary Ford I always knew it as; When the train is in the station, Please refrain from urination, When the passengers are getting off. If you want to go quite heavy, Always ask a railway porter, He will try to help you if he can |
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06 Apr 23 - 07:30 PM (#4169412) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e HUMORESQUE Pg 77 of "The Wrecks", which was published ca 1933 in Reno, Nevada for a private men's club. Copy is online here: https://archive.org/details/1933ca-the-wrecks-red-plush-edition-50-copies |
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06 Apr 23 - 07:57 PM (#4169413) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e HUMORESQUE |
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06 Apr 23 - 08:25 PM (#4169414) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e MORE HUMORESQUE From Aloha Jigpoha. A mimeographed songbook issued in 1945, in Honolulu, HI. Download here: https://archive.org/details/1945alohajigpoha |
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06 Apr 23 - 08:42 PM (#4169415) Subject: RE: Origi:When the train is in the station(Humoresque) From: and e Passengers will please refrain Snippet view of White Piracy, 1933, page 88. Bowdlerized but slightly antedating it. See google books here: White Piracy |