TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!

13 Jan 02 - 08:17 PM (#627330)
Subject: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha

So very sorry, Dr. Mark.........hope you have a very happy birthday on Joe Offer's wedding day. May you never have to do another proctology exam in your life! Oh, you don't do those with Pediatrics? Well, how about.......May You Never, Ever Have to Deal With a Stage MOM!

Pour one for Pele, and 2 for yourself! You're 21 and holding, right?

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13 Jan 02 - 08:22 PM (#627333)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: alison

Happy Birthday Mark,

love and hugs from Down Under

alison

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13 Jan 02 - 08:24 PM (#627336)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: bflat

Aloha Mark! Happy Birthday!

Ellen

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13 Jan 02 - 08:34 PM (#627341)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Jeri

Mark, it was a clever plot by Joe to foil your birthday thread!
Happy Birthday! May the Birthday Fairy make you repellent to accidentally-released body fluids and at least one semi-solid.

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13 Jan 02 - 08:41 PM (#627344)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Ebbie

Glacious! (What a Polish-born friend of mine exclaims. With her limited English, she has not yet caught on to this use of 'gracious' while she is familiar with Alaska's glaciers.) I hasten to add my belated birthday wishes to Dr. Mark. May all your troubles be little ones.

Eb

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13 Jan 02 - 08:50 PM (#627347)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha

(You feel better yet, Mark? grin.......)

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13 Jan 02 - 09:27 PM (#627364)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Genie

Mark, I meant to post a birthday wish for you on the 12th (that's the real day, right?), but I got distracted. Hope it was a happy one.

Genie

P.S.
Your name gets taken in vain (with affection, of course) here in Portland and in Seattle at song circles from time to time. Come visit us again when you can.

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13 Jan 02 - 10:07 PM (#627389)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Lonesome EJ

Another year older, Doc? Ain' no big ting! Have a good one!

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13 Jan 02 - 10:22 PM (#627392)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: wysiwyg

Shit! Missed another one!

Oh well, happy belatedness!

~Susan

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13 Jan 02 - 10:51 PM (#627400)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Thanks, folks. Now I'm happy again! Joe's wedding was much more important, anyway. I mean, how many wedding days--no, let's not go there. You guys are da best! And as a token of my thanks, here's the first song I've written in ten years....just for all of you. (Ri-i-i-ght...) It sucks, but it's a start.

DA KINE
(c) 2001 Mark Cohen, but if somebody steals it I won't mind, unless they make a lot of money with it, in which case I want some

(medium reggae beat)

When you're in Hawaii
People talk in a different way
On the street or on the beach
You can hear them say
"Aloha", "Mahalo"
They call you "Tita" or "Brada"
But there is one thing they say
More than any other

CHORUS
They say Da Kine
Say it all the time
It don't have to rhyme, it always sounds so fine
They say Da Kine

Da kine means "you know", Da kine means "that guy"
"Whatchamacallit" or "Whozit"
People know just what you mean
Every time you use it

CHORUS

I may be one malihini*
But one thing I know
If you want to sound like a local
This is how you gotta go

CHORUS (You gotta say...)
*newcomer

Thanks again, folks, you made this little island boy very happy. (Hint? What hint? Moi??)

Aloha,
Mark

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13 Jan 02 - 10:53 PM (#627402)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha

LOL! Just glad to keep you happy Mark!

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14 Jan 02 - 12:24 AM (#627432)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC

Mark, how could you keep this a secret from me? Do you have any other little secrets you want to share before I place my safety in your hands on that little island of yours? ;-)

Happy Birthday!

Carol

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14 Jan 02 - 01:42 AM (#627455)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: DancingMom

Hope your day was great! Sharon

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14 Jan 02 - 02:13 AM (#627459)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Gee, I don't know, Carol, I had this funny idea that it's not cool to tell people your birthday's coming up so they can say happy birthday to you, especially when there was lots of discussion on YOUR birthday thread about the page on the Mudcat Member Information section that has everybody's birthday listed...

OK, OK, it was a teensy bit passive-aggressive, I admit. It's a cultural thing. You know how many Jewish mothers it takes to change a light bulb? Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark.

Will you forgive me if I take you swimming under a waterfall? (There's one right behind my former house, with a cave behind it....)

And by the way, it's not a little island, it's the Big Island! I mean, it's roughly the size of Connecticut, after all. I know, that's not as big as West Virginia...but you don't have palm trees in West Virginia...or plumeria massage oil...

Thanks again!

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14 Jan 02 - 04:35 AM (#627488)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,micca at work

Mark , You are a Miserable GIT!!!!! you were on PT last night and not a hint about it being your Birthday!!!!
Now Plumeria massage oil.....WOW!!!!! every year in May, I make a pilgrimage to Kew gardens(The Royal Botanical Gardens) here in London to view and smell the Plumeria when it is in bloom.....The true evocative perfume( for me) of Hawaii I remember, in the dark under a Plumeria tree in a friends garden up back of Diamond Head, while she tried to teach me hula to the tune "Lahaina Luna" which we were trying to sing as well, after a LOT of Cuba Libres, great Hawaiian times!!!
well Brada, for me, You are certainly Da'Kine.. Happy Birthday, and Aloha Micca

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14 Jan 02 - 04:38 AM (#627492)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

Geeziz........I can't believe it! A birthday thread that has unique messages and not just the same old thing that Joe Offer hates so much (a long line of Happy Birthdays). I think you all are getting the hang of it now and I know Joe will be pleased because it also keeps me from from having to post something different to salvage the thread to his satisfaction. Even the Honoree here has added to the mix with something completely different. I am proud of all of you! Now I can just say:

Happy Birthday Doc!

Spaw

......okay........maybe just a little something........

HEY MARK!!!!

Go Stick a Pineapple Up Your Ass!!!

.......

aahhhh.......that's better.......

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 04:51 AM (#627496)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

BTW Carol......I've never heard it called "safety" before..............

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 05:36 AM (#627510)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

'Spaw, I'm honored that you would get up at 4:30 in the goddamn morning just to wish me a happy belated birthday. Now, why don't we* just get back to bed, ok? That's it...there you go, you're doing fine...whoops!...that's OK, it can be cleaned...good...no, that's the bathroom...you already did, remember?...oh, really...well...hmmm...never mind, that can be cleaned too...there you go, now, into bed, all right, pleasant dreams! (Who left those siderails down, anyway...?)

*IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not "we" meaning "you and me", nor is it the "Royal We", meaning I. It's the "Nursing We", meaning You. I don't want any of you preverts to get any funny ideas.

Aloha,
Mark

PS: I'll see your pineapple and raise you a Jackfruit.

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14 Jan 02 - 07:09 AM (#627525)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Morticia

Hey, I go lif' one da kine for you,bro, in honour of your birthday...much love.....Mortee

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14 Jan 02 - 10:25 AM (#627610)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: SINSULL

Happy Birthday, Mark. I have been away from my computer - sorry this is late. And the mental picture of a drunken Micca wearing nothing but the Grail while doing the Hula?????

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14 Jan 02 - 10:28 AM (#627613)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: MMario

I know I'm gonna get whupped upside the head for this....

tune?

Have a happy!

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14 Jan 02 - 11:08 AM (#627633)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha

WHUP! WHUP!

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14 Jan 02 - 11:44 AM (#627659)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Steve in Idaho

Just to piss off Spaw and a few others -

Happiest of Days to you Mark - And it was GREAT hearing you in the Snug yesterday!!!!

Steve

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14 Jan 02 - 12:11 PM (#627682)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Rick Fielding

May your life be filled with Palm trees and open tunings!

Rick

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14 Jan 02 - 12:41 PM (#627712)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Melani

Happy Birthday! Do people really EAT those jackfruit things? Or just stick them in impossible places?

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14 Jan 02 - 01:30 PM (#627747)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,jaze

Happy birthday to a fellow Philly boy. I asways enjoy your posts. Stay young. James

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14 Jan 02 - 04:47 PM (#627893)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC

Sure, Mark, I could definitely go for the waterfall and cave thing. But will you still have me now that you know what a space cadet I am? I could give you a few lessons on how to shamelessly fish for birthday greetings. I seem to be getting pretty good at it, myself.

I love that word... plumeria... I could say it all day...

plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil...

Ah, yes... the magic of the islands...

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14 Jan 02 - 04:53 PM (#627897)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

Carol, maybe you should consider changing the name of your safety to your plumeria. I like that and it has a nice sound and look about it....and as I said before, I never heard anuone refer to it as a safety before. But plumeria? Ah now....THAT has class! Yeah...."Her plumeria was sweet." Man, I'm getting off on this one................plumeria................

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 05:22 PM (#627908)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Tune is on the way to you as a NWC file, MMario! I performed it--with a backup chorus!--at the Christmas party for the 4 doctors who work in this office building. (It was the debut of my new Martin guitar.) I'll leave it to your expertise as to how to make it available to others.

Carol, honey, all is forgiven! But I'm just worried that when the airport security folks see that Hohner of yours on the X-ray screen, they might arrest you! [Let's see what 'Spaw does with that one...]

Aloha,
Mark

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14 Jan 02 - 06:07 PM (#627938)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

SharonA--it's pronounced exactly as it's spelled, with the emphasis on "kine". Literally, "the kind", it's basically a catchall word for whatever you can't think of at the moment, or don't want to specify. There are other uses, too, but you'd need a linguist to explain them. Morticia got it precisely right...not surprisingly!

Aloha,
Mark

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14 Jan 02 - 07:49 PM (#628006)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

Security Guy: "What the hell is THAT?"
Carol: "It's my Hohner."
Security Guy: "Your Hohner? What's a Hohner?"
Carol: "It's a squeezable organ."
Security Guy: "I got a squeezable organ right here lady, but it don't look nothin' like that!"

Say, did you all here about the Congressional type guy who had the hip replacement and they made him drop his pants at Washington National? No joke!!! He set the metal detector off.....The guy was really pissed!

Seriously, I've now got a registration card for the St. Jude's valve and a cardiologist's letter explaining that I have both staples in my sternum and a metallic valve that ticks inside my chest. After the goofball with the exploding Keds, I could just see the mess a ticking chest would cause...and one that sets off a metal detector to boot!

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 07:51 PM (#628009)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

here? geeziz...make that "hear"......pruufreed

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 07:53 PM (#628011)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC

(btw, Spaw, we'll call it whatever we want to... although I agree with you, plumeria does sound better)

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14 Jan 02 - 09:48 PM (#628083)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: MMario

The Good Docter was kind enough to send me a Noteworthy file of the tune. so with his permission it will be being submitted to the DT.

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14 Jan 02 - 10:26 PM (#628101)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Only if whoever performs it promises they will do it the same way I did....with a knitted red/green/black cap and long (fake!) dreads. (Available at Spencer Gifts as a combo, shades and ganja not included.)

Aloha,
Mark

PS, Carol, thanks for the picture of your, uh, "head". Sure made a nice birthday card!

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14 Jan 02 - 10:41 PM (#628106)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

OK, OK, that was a little too cryptic. Actually it was a photo that included an outhouse. Really! No, I don't know why... Damn, people don't believe you even when you're telling the truth, do they? All right, then, have it your way, and think whatever you want....

Seriously, this thread is one of the best (and longest!) birthday parties I've ever had. Thanks for starting it rolling downhill, Sorch!

Aloha,
Mark

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14 Jan 02 - 10:46 PM (#628109)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49

Much like Cletus and Paw's porta-potty business that bellied up when their main unit rolled off while they were dumping it. Alway thought they knew that shit went downhill, but I guess I was wrong.

Spaw

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14 Jan 02 - 11:47 PM (#628129)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Lyrical Lady

From one islander to another..Happy Birthday!

LL

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15 Jan 02 - 12:30 AM (#628153)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: DougR

Happy B-day Mark.

DougR

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15 Jan 02 - 01:53 AM (#628183)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Thanks, Doug! You've just helped extend my birthday over 4 days! Either that, or I'm now 51. "This is a day that never ends...." (Oops! sorry, I do like to make these BS theads musical, but bringing Lamb Chop into it is NOT the way to do it.)

Aloha,
Mark

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15 Jan 02 - 02:05 AM (#628190)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Big Mick

Spaw: "Hey Mark, I hear it's your birthday. Get fucked."
Dr. Mark: "You are just jealous cuz you heard that Carol is going to let me Hone 'er plumeria. I think before I do, though I better stop and pickup some plumeria oil. Otherwise it is impossible to get a good edge on it. And afterall, I do have Carol's safety on my mind..........and with any luck, on my".........far enough, Mick...........LOL

Now, Mark, for a very important technical question. In your professional opinion, which is the healthier to put in the back of ones thong, a jack fruit or a spud?

Oh...........yeah.........Happy Birthday.

Mick

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15 Jan 02 - 05:40 AM (#628236)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

De gustibus non est disputandum, Mick.

Aloha,
Mark

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15 Jan 02 - 07:26 AM (#628258)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,micca at work

Mark, should that be "de minimus non curat lex"?

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16 Jan 02 - 01:00 AM (#628829)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST

.

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31 Jan 02 - 11:58 AM (#639420)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,jbailes

dr. cohen - did you by any chance grow up in wheaton maryland?

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31 Jan 02 - 06:09 PM (#639582)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC

I don't know if Mark did or not, GUEST jbailes, but I did. Wouldn't it be a hoot if he did too, and we all know each other?

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01 Feb 02 - 04:33 AM (#639880)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen

Nope. I'm a Philly boy. I have heard of Maryland, though.

Aloha,
Mark

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02 Feb 02 - 03:03 AM (#640474)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Deckman

Like they say Mark ... ORDURE EVENTUATES! Cheers, Bob

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02 Feb 02 - 04:25 AM (#640484)
Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: gnu

Water falls, palm trees, exrotic massage oils.... we had another snow and sleet dump last night. Happy birthday, double that fruit order, and add a frozen groundhog.

Best wishes.

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