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14 Jan 02 - 03:24 AM (#627466) Subject: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes I heard on the news this morning that President Bush fainted after choking on a pretzel. Several thoughts clamoured at once for attention as I listened: Did it "go down the wrong way", as claimed by the White House, or was it pushed? That's an unconstitutional way of assassinating a president; the proper traditional is by shooting. There ought to be a song in this, like "They tell me Mr Dubya's been [insert suitable word] down, low down". I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. One that's just occured to me while writing this is: maybe they'll name a cartoon animal after him (you know, like Garfield)--what might it be?I wait with baited breath [oops--bad taste!] Steve |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:31 AM (#627485) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes I mean bated breath, of course! |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:37 AM (#627490) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Genie Maybe he's just trying to one-up his old man's puking act! Genie |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:47 AM (#627495) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Ain't it great? The old man barfs up some Chinese noodles and the kid chokes on a pretzel.........What a pair. I bet both of them would have croaked if they'd been given one of Monica's blow jobs. Have a seegar boys. Spaw |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:57 AM (#627498) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Genie Aw, Spaw, you always have such insight! Genie |
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14 Jan 02 - 05:30 AM (#627507) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes Blimey, Spaw--don't you ever sleep? It's 10.30 in the morning her, so it must be the midde of the night over there! Steve |
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14 Jan 02 - 05:31 AM (#627508) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes Or are you baking more pretzels? |
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14 Jan 02 - 05:50 AM (#627516) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The_one_and_only_Dai Spookily enough, the episode of 'The Simpsons' last Friday on BBC2 was the pretzel franchise one... Anybody got a copy of the Daily Telegraph Crossword? Any coded references in the clues? (special bonus 250 points to anybody who can decipher that obscure reference, from the master of obscure references) |
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14 Jan 02 - 08:31 AM (#627554) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The Walrus at work According to the BBC, he was watching an Ameruican Football game at the time, I maintain he just passed out from boredom (changing teams every couple of minutes - ye gods, how can they play thay way?<1>) Dai, Could your references have anything to do with words like "Overlord" and "Mulberry" appearing in crossword puzzles just before D-Day? Regards Walrus <1> If that doesn't lead to thread creep or a new pro- American Football thread..... |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:53 AM (#627592) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Al K Hall He should take some lessons from his daughters. Pretzels are designed to be washed down with beer. No beer - no pretzels. Either that or the Bush matrons just don't teach their sons how to eat properly. Puking up noodles and choking on pretzels - what ways are these for heads of states to behave? |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:58 AM (#627593) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bagpuss Given that he called the Pakistani people "Pakis" only the other week, one wishes he would choke on his words rather than his snacks. Bagpuss |
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14 Jan 02 - 10:03 AM (#627596) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The_one_and_only_Dai Walrus - Iiiiiiiiiiiin One!! (could this be another obscure reference? egad) |
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14 Jan 02 - 10:25 AM (#627611) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Fibula Mattock Bullseye, Dai! |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:04 AM (#627630) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The_one_and_only_Dai Keep out of the black, and in the red, you get Fibula Mattock for two in a bed! All things are true. Even false things. Hail Eris! |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:14 AM (#627639) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Fibula Mattock All Hail Discordia! |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:26 AM (#627648) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Jenna Bush You people are clever making fun of other people's misfortunes. You should all be very proud of yourselves. Catspaw49, you're the most despicable. You use this forum to elict support and sympathy when you're sick and then make fun of other people's illnesses. Shame on you. My Dad has the highest approval rating of any American president in history. Not many of you will ever actually accomplish anything beyond your or so clever put-downs. |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:34 AM (#627651) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The_one_and_only_Dai Jenna? What's the truth about you buying booze underage there? I mean, isn't that ILLEGAL and all? shucks. |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:40 AM (#627656) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes I think it's probably not inaccurate to say, Jenna, that most--if not all--of us are sympathetic towards Jenna's dad, or Ewan Blair's dad, or Harry Windsor's dad; but few of us are sympathetic to The President, or The Prime Minister, or The Prince of Wales: politicians choose to put themselves forward for election, and obtain their public offices through their own motivation; they do not have politics thrust upon them. I can probably think of a suitable argument for people who do have princedoms thrust upon them, but my b*llsh*t allowance for today has nearly run out. Steve |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:01 PM (#627664) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Ok, fess-up time. Who sent the pretzel to Bush? Spaw? Kendall? kat? Toad? Dai? GUEST? The Secret Service has it's ways, you know. *BG* DougR |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:02 PM (#627668) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA Al K Hall: According to this ABC News report – The Pretzel Incident – Dubbya is quoted as saying, "My mother always said, 'When you're eating pretzels, chew before you swallow. Always listen to your mother." So the problem is, apparently, that the Bush men don't follow the advice of the Bush women. My guess is that the elder Bush was told as a boy at his mama's knee, "Now, Georgie, when you get the flu, don't you go to any banquets with leaders of other countries and throw up all over them." The report also says that Dubbya estimates that he was unconscious for only a few seconds because his dogs had not moved from the positions they were in when he fainted. The dogs were, however, "looking at him funny." I find it highly significant that the dogs didn't try to wake him or run to get help Lassie-style. I imagine they were hoping against hope that Daddy Dubbya wouldn't get up, so that Mommy Laura would take them home to their Texas ranch before they met the same fate as Clinton's dog Buddy. Just a theory.... |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:10 PM (#627679) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: M.Ted "I choked on a pretzel and passed out" is right up their with "I tripped on the dog" "I'm on this medication that makes me stagger around incoherently" for those morning explanations for bruises, breaks, and bad hehaviour-- |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:15 PM (#627685) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Mrrzy sooooo close... |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:25 PM (#627694) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA ...but so far... |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:53 PM (#627723) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Ted, I had a bit of that thought myself. We had a mayor in Columbus who was stopped by the police driving erratically at 3 in the morning. The fact that he had just left an illegal after hours joint (witnessed by the patrolman) and was obviously smashed was only highlighted more when he stepped from his car, fell to his knees scraping his chin on the pavement, and as he stood said, "I'm not drunk, I'm just inspecting the city!"........yeah, at very close range. Spaw |
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14 Jan 02 - 12:58 PM (#627726) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Desdemona We were awoken with this riveting news story when our alarm went off at 6.30 this morning; imagine our shock at Ol' Dubyah doing something STUPID! How, oh how will he manage to keep the world safe from Evil-Doers for all us Innocent Folks if he can't even learn to chew his food properly?! You just know that somewhere Osama's laughing his ass off; what a pity that we ever had to find ourselves in such a crisis situation, and that we had to have such a buffoon in the White House when we did! Last week there was all this brouhaha here in Massachusetts about him being here to discuss---of al things---education reform. the only conceivable context in which he could be taken seriously on such a subject would be as an example of how the old approach didn't work! "Now lookee here,folks, I'm a product of the old system; now you take a good look & tell me it ain't time to make some (cough!) changes!" Aye yi yi yi yi! |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:01 PM (#627727) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Say Jenna, I read in another thread that you wanted to party with Prince Harry. If you have the same problem your Dad and Grandfather do, then I think you need to have a heart to heart with Monica Lewinsky or Linda Lovelace beforehand.....pick up a few "tips"..so to speak. Spaw |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:05 PM (#627728) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Butch at work Why don't you all just shut the hell up! The President of the United States (no matter who he or she may be at any given time) deserves better than to wish that person dead or to joke about it. I never liked Pres. Clinton, but I never joked that he should die! I never wished that tragedy on either his family or his country. I'm afraid that you have shown your true colors here folks. You seem to be petty, nasty and self rightous people. Funny, that's what you accuse Republicans of being. |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM (#627733) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Desdemona For the record, regardless of his politics, I think Dubyah's a moron, and it would make no difference to my opinion if he were a Democrat, an Independent, or a space alien! I don't think anyone here actively "wishes him dead"; it was just another rather undignified moment in his presidency, one that I'm sure will be duly recorded in the history books along with his other great achievemenst (rigging a presidential election's gotta rank right up there, though his term is admittedly young). You must forgive us for being unable to resist the temptation to rag on him: he makes it too easy, it's like shooting fish in a barrel! |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:27 PM (#627744) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Stilly River Sage I'll offer a mixed signal to the discussion. Butch-at-work has a rather in-your-face finger-pointing way of stating himself that I would normally set aside as partisan, and I find Bush pretty darned contemptible, but even I, a liberal democrat, have trouble picking on him for choking. It's not like no one of us has never choked on anything before, or felt pretty stupid about it afterward. I'll pick on Bush for his voluntary stupidity, not his involunatary accidents.
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14 Jan 02 - 01:39 PM (#627758) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Gee, I don't know, Sage, I don't any of these fine folks here on the Mudcat ever had a similar experience. Mebbe, but I doubt it. They chew everything up real good before swallowing, I think. *BG* DougR |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:44 PM (#627761) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA Butch: Desdemona's right that I, for one, don't wish Bush dead but, you're right, I shouldn't joke about it. Sorry. However, I do wish he weren't President. I consider it a tragedy for this country that he is. You're right that it's not good for the nation when any President dies in office from any cause, so I guess we the people are just going to have to do everything we can to minimize the damage Bush can cause till his term (Presidential or lifespan, whichever comes first) is up. |
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14 Jan 02 - 01:52 PM (#627766) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Linda Kelly er-who's President Bush? (Is he a friend of that nice Mr Blair -international politician and roving world ambassador?) |
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14 Jan 02 - 02:25 PM (#627796) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Genie •Jenna, So glad to have you with us at Mudcat! As for your dad having "the highest approval rating of any American president in history," how the heck could anyone know that? I don't know if there even Modern sampling techniques and mass media make the appraisal of public opinion a whole different beast than it was even in the early part of the 20th C. • SharonA Didn't Dubya recently say he didn't like Barbara's cooking? Maybe that's why he disregarded her advice to chew ... •Butch at work I think you're missing an important point. George W. didn't die or require a great deal of medical attention. We're not really laughing at his misfortune, because he doesn't seem to have suffered anything more than a brief scare. He's on TV right now, laughing about it himself! (BTW, mean-spiritedness toward one's political adversaries is not limited to one side of the political spectrum. A tree-sitter recently fell from his perch here in Oregon, after being harrassed into staying awake for days. He nearly died and he suffered major injuries. The right-wing talk shows were deluged with jokes about it and folks saying it was a just punishment for disrupting business. I won't paint all "conservatives" or Republicans with that brush, and I don't want to turn this thread into a who-is-meaner argument. Suffice it to say there are jerks at all points of the political spectrum.) Genie |
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14 Jan 02 - 02:38 PM (#627808) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: michaelr Does it strike anyone as weird that Jenna Bush would visit the mudcat? Has the Prez directed his family to scan the web for unfavorable comments about him? Must we fear repercussions??? Jenna, please explain what you're doing here. ~Michael |
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14 Jan 02 - 03:24 PM (#627839) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Michael: that's the funniest post I've read on the Mudcat in quite a spell. I wish I had thought of it. Terrific!*BG* DougR |
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14 Jan 02 - 03:41 PM (#627849) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Don Firth Been drinkin' again, eh, Jenna? Fer cryin' out loud, give your old man a beer so he can wash the pretzels down! small(I know what drew her here. The "Beer" thread.) Don Firth |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:35 PM (#627886) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Gareth OK sympathy and worse for The Presidfent, but hows the Pretzel doing ? Gareth |
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14 Jan 02 - 04:49 PM (#627894) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA Good question, Gareth. If Bush managed to "bring it up", he could display it when he opens his Presidential library. If not, we'll have to settle for the bag it came in. I'm sure the product will be recalled as a choking hazard, so I'm guessing that the pretzels that are on the shelves now will become collector's items. I hope the manufacturer is a major snack-food company that can take this kind of economic blow, not some mom-and-pop start-up that'll be shut down. This could end up being Enron 2!!! |
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14 Jan 02 - 05:25 PM (#627910) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Lonesome EJ The whole thing must have scared the hell out of Laura, who was in the next room talking on the phone. Mow, contrary to what others have said, this incident doesn't make George W look like a dumbass to me. After all, it happened in private. I get a grin out of the whole situation. He's sitting alone, watching the football game. I like that. I can see him in his underwear on the couch, feet up on the coffee table. He notices the dogs, because the damn things are like all other dogs...sitting staring intently at him, hoping he drops a piece of pretzel. He chokes on the pretzel, falls on the floor, and comes to noticing the dogs are still in the same position, staring at him! To me, the whole thing makes him look like an average guy, not a dumbass. Unless you consider the average guy a dumbass. It kind of points out one of the hazards of being a reformed alcoholic, though. Pretzels are meant to be consumed with beer! If George had an ice cold Bud, or even a Celi's, on the coffee table, none of this would have happened. |
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14 Jan 02 - 06:09 PM (#627940) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA On the other hand, this whole story could be a cover-up to explain the bruises and scratches. The truth may be that Laura is smackin' Dubbya around the way Hilary used to go at Bill Clinton (and probably still does). |
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14 Jan 02 - 07:11 PM (#627974) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow If he had died would anyone have believed the pretzel explanation?
I don't mean to say that it might not in fact be true, but would anyone have actually believed it?
In future I imagine instead of saying teh VP is a heartbeat away from the preidency, thye'll be saying he is a Pretzel away. And the Speaker, isn't it, who's a Pretzel and a heartbeat away? |
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14 Jan 02 - 07:26 PM (#627993) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Yeah, well Dick Cheney's running about as low in the heartbeat department as I am and in that case, the Speaker is pretzel and half a heartbeat away. Jokes aside, I would never and have never wished for the death or illness of another human being, but Dick Cheney is one GREAT reason to pray for the good health and well being of Dubya! Spaw |
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14 Jan 02 - 07:34 PM (#627998) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Gareth |
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14 Jan 02 - 07:56 PM (#628012) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert SharonA: I think you might be on to something but I don't think it's Laura. I think there's a possibility that Junior has fallen off the wagon... ahh... and the couch. Jenna: Please don't have your daddy bomb the Cafe because of Catspaw. We've been working on his medication levels, plus, last I heard, he's dieting. Spawz: Chill, brother. What, you trying to get the joint bombed, or what? You're just mad 'cause Junior can have pretzels while you're locked in the battle of the buldge with the Hippie Chick. |
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14 Jan 02 - 08:20 PM (#628024) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Tweed Hmmm...I think he was drunk and got frisky with the first Lady and she knocked the crap outta him. That's the way them girls are down in Texas. And is there a a Doctor in the Cafe? Is there a "nerve" in the back of a person's throat that when pressure is applied will actually cause unconsciousness? Could Monica have been affected in a similar way by this unusual phenomenon? The pretzel story is a total fabrication I believe. You can always tell when Li'l Buck is liein' cause his lips start movin'. |
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14 Jan 02 - 08:22 PM (#628025) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow Here are the fellas with the smoking gun - Pretzel Time |
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14 Jan 02 - 08:23 PM (#628026) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Amos What impressed me is that he finally learned one should chew one's food. Lesson learned!! Touchdown!! I am sure Barbara is very relieved. A |
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14 Jan 02 - 08:24 PM (#628027) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall Well, everyone knows how I feel about Dubbya, and, although some of these posts have been funny, what you have posted ABOUT is not funny! I'm sorry, but, I cant join the "fun". Besides, Dubbya's death would put Cheney in the driver's seat, and that's not funny either. BTW, G. Washington's Secretary of War, Henry Knox, choked to death on a chicken bone, most people didn't laugh then either. Jenna, the fact is, a high approval rating does not make him a genius.Who are you really? |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:00 PM (#628049) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Tweed: You got Florida mixed up with Texas. You see, in Florida, yes, the women have been known to knock the crap out of their partners after sex, but in Texas... the man is supposed to throw the old lady around the trailer before, during or after the act (...or any combination of the three). It's a Texas custom. Might explain why there ain't no doorknobs on bedroom doors of about a quarter of Texas's adult male population... Ahhh, what's that dark spot under your eye, Tweedster. Nevermind. (Hey Rufe, Tweed got lucky last night...) |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:02 PM (#628053) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Kendall, as I said before, the best reason to wish all the best to GW is Dick Cheney......a rather frightening prospect to be sure. About ten years back I was lucky enough to actually save a guy's life with the Heimlich. When it worked, I was as surprised as anyone! But the two first aid skills that everyone should take the time to learn are CPR and the Heimlich. Spaw |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:04 PM (#628057) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Spaw: until I read Kendall's post where he refers to me as his "pretty", your comment about Cheney gave me the best laugh of the day! Kendall: maybe they didn't laugh when Henry Knox choked on a chicken bone, but there probably would be some who declared that Henry should have followed his mother's advice and chewed his chicken before swallowing it! They would be Democrats, of course. DougR |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:42 PM (#628079) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert DougR: Are you on Junior's payroll, or what? Or are you 7 or 8 people who man Catsburg. This must be very exhausting, you know, sitting in front of a puter just about your entire life waiting for someone to say something bad about Junior so you can jump in and yell, "Hey, Junior (excuse me...ahh... GWB) is the best thing that ever happened to the United States... Nevermind... |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:49 PM (#628084) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Tweed DougR, give me a hand here and we'll get ol' Boberdz duct taped up for his own safety. This whole dang pretzel story has driven him over the edge and he can't be blamed for bein' more delusional than normal....hand me that upright bass and we'll just secure him to that for a couple days 'til this thing blows over...deep breaths now Boberdz...good air in..bad air out.... |
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14 Jan 02 - 09:55 PM (#628089) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Stilly River Sage DougR, I'd think they'd be Republicans or Whigs. Were there such things as Democrats back then? Ken Burns, where are you? |
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14 Jan 02 - 10:45 PM (#628108) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall George Washington was a Federalist. As I recall, Thomas Jefferson was a Democratic Republican. Whatever that is. |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:10 PM (#628112) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Well ya know, the way that the young shrub can convolute the truth (There are no innocent people on death row in Texas). The thing that surprises me is that the pretzel ever got lodged in his throat in the first place. I would have thought that even one of those Pennsylvania soft pretzels would have fitted perfectly, and gone down whole with no trouble at all. LEEJ, you say "Unless you consider the average guy a dumbass." well at least half (or almost half) of them must be 'cos they voted for him. Sharonmedarlin' It's funny that you should mention the Presidential library. I was reading in the paper TODAY that after leaving the governorship of Texas he placed all his record in Daddy Bush's Presidential library instead of making them public as Texas law requires. I wonder why? Bert |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:16 PM (#628114) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Rick Fielding No No Bert! "He placed all his records in his daddy's library" because he'd burned them onto CDs. Rick |
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14 Jan 02 - 11:34 PM (#628122) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Nah! he wouldn't have done THAT, that's ILLEGAL! |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:23 AM (#628144) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Amos Well, he did do it, see, but he didn't actually inhale..... |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:27 AM (#628148) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Tweed: how about that gigantic banjo in one of the current threads, instead of an upright bass? That would be far more creative, wouldn't it? Doug |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:29 AM (#628152) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: M.Ted With every retelling, the story gets more elaborate--of course the problem is that W's face has been re-arranged considerably--It occurs to me that if he choked on anything, it was Enron- |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:33 AM (#628157) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Lonesome EJ Well, bert, that IS the hell of it, ain't it. George W IS an average guy. |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:38 AM (#628159) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bert Was it Steven Wright who said that "Half the population is below average"? - I suppose we could add, that we know which half. |
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15 Jan 02 - 03:53 AM (#628209) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Steve Parkes As the true and onlie begetter of this thread, I'll just run over my policy statement once more. I don't make personal attacks on people. If Mr B really were a moron, for example, I would never make fun of his low intelligence. However, he is a politician ("an ass upon which everyone has sat except a man"--e. e. cummings), and he chose to be a politician--it's not an affliction, and doesn't automatically command respect. I must apologise to Jenna: in my earlier post I inadvertantly suggested she's been a great worry to her father by lumping her in with Euan Blair and Prince Harry; sorry Jenna, that wasn't what I meant! I've got kids, and I was one myself once; it's all part of growing up, isn't it? Jenna, I'm sincerely sorry your dad (and you) had such an unpleasant scare, and I'm sincerely glad he's OK. But we can continue to make fun of The President now. See the difference? Steve |
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15 Jan 02 - 05:04 AM (#628227) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: katlaughing Tweed, I think you'd make better use of the duct tape and bass over at the White House...for about 3 years...just stand him in a corner, taped to it, and feed him baby food. The whole idea that he is supposed to be the leader of the free world is such a joke, in and of itself....I don't have a pretzel, but I sure feel like pukin' every time I read something or hear something about him! Don't puppets ever get put back in the toy box? |
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15 Jan 02 - 07:34 AM (#628262) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Al K Hall Is it a measure of progress that the USA used to have a president who couldn't chew gum and walk at the same time and now has a president who can't watch TV and eat at the same time. |
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15 Jan 02 - 08:16 AM (#628268) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Greg F. Wasn't a pretzel at all- it was one of the whopping great lies he's accustomed to tell that choked him- caught him unprepared.. He's the same as he ever was- the man just cannot go to the bathroom without pissing on his shoes. |
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15 Jan 02 - 08:37 AM (#628276) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: WyoWoman Well, LEJ, I'd love to accept your version of the whole thing because I really do want to believe the best of people and also because imagining Dubya in his tightie whities is sort of cute. But frankly, I ain't buying it. The truth will out, one of these days and we'll find out what really happened -- either he got smashed or stoned and tripped, or ... something. But 20 years as a reporter and I smell such a rat. Here's the research project I'D be doing if I were still a reporter: Has anyone EVER passed out like this before? What's the medical literature say? (I mean, do any of YOU know of anyone who's swallowed something the wrong way and fallen over in a heap for just seconds?) And, I don't know about your dogs, but my dogs would have been right over me the second I even made a move, particularly if there had been the possibility of food falling anywhere in their vicinity. Even if I just dropped to the carpet for a couple of seconds, they'd have been front and center. And particularly if I"d fallen hard enough to hit something and cause scrapes on my FACE!!! I mean, Jayzuz, that's quite a fall. I've never met a dog in my life who'd just sit there watching and not even come over to see how the old boy was doing. Maybe he has stuffed dogs and doesn't want to mention THAT part of it. At any rate, there are holes in this story big enough to drive a lorrie through and I cannot believe the media is going to let this pass. My theory? He has had a substance abuse problem in the past and those are thorny problems that don't go away just because you gain control of them for a while. Maybe the pressure of the job has gotten to him, or he was feeling celebratory because of his great approval ratings and he took a few snorts. OR he has a health problem that either he's not willing to face up to himself, or that he and his minions are purposely concealing from the public. Meanwhile, the story about him calling for fast-track trade approval and for America to step up its export of food to other countries seems to be sliding in under the radar of the media and the American people. More NAFTA, more GATT, less ability for citizens to control their destiny. More food exports = more exploitation of land and aquifers that need to be treated kindly + less attention to enabling and partnering with other countries to cultivate their own food sources and keep their populations low. The Wizard is behind the curtain again, pulling those levers and dials and no one's asking exactly what this means beyond the most superficial slice at it. I swear to God, I'm leaving for the Planet Where Things Make Sense as soon as I can get this damned transponder fixed. Anyone want to go along? ww |
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15 Jan 02 - 09:23 AM (#628296) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA WyoWoman: Me! Me! *G* bert (re: the library): LOL! Amos (re: inhaling): ROFLMAO! M Ted (re: Enron): CWL - Choking With Laughter! |
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15 Jan 02 - 09:27 AM (#628303) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall I believe he passed out and fell, the pretzel thing might be a lie to cover up a serious illness. |
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15 Jan 02 - 09:52 AM (#628321) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Katlaughing & Tweed: Thanks guys, Here I was having this terrible dream last night about being adbucted and carried off only to wake up in one corner of the Oval Office duct taped to a big banjo and Junior right next to me duct taped to a stand up bass!!!.... And I'm here to say that if I didn't have that box cutter in my pocket that I got at the airport magazine shop I'd still be there. Anyway, I left ol' Junior taped to the bass (hey, that's kinda catchy...taped to the bass...nevermnind). He didn't look to good at all and smelled like he'd been drinking half the night...I reckon I ought to call someone to make sure he's okay... As for the duct taping ol' bobert thinks things are a little more civilized around here. At least they ducttape you to musical instruments rather than nasty potty chairs... |
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15 Jan 02 - 10:39 AM (#628341) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,Desdemona I think all Dubyah's food should be pureed for the remainder of his term, just to be on the safe side. I've been extolling the virtues of beer as a "health drink" for years, but now it should be apparent to everyone that it's also important for the safety of those who snack! Not only is it loaded with essential vitamins & minerals, it was practically designed to ease the passage of pretzels through the esophagus! |
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15 Jan 02 - 10:56 AM (#628345) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: katlaughing WyoWoman, I'm right there with you, transponder and the holes through the story. I think you got it in one! Bobert...what can we do to ensure that you continue to have such sweet dreams?**BG**
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15 Jan 02 - 12:36 PM (#628389) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR WW: Don't you think that if there were "more" to this story than the public has been told that the White House would have come up with something less creative than swallowing a pretzel? Examples: He was sleep walking and walked into a wall. He encountered Osma bin Laden in the pantry while searching for the peanutbutter and they got into a fist fight. There was a temporary electrical outage at the White House and GWB bumped into Cheney when he dashed up the stairs from his bomb shelter to see why the lights went out. Bush bumped his head on the headboard while perfoming one one of his husbandly benefits. I just think the pretzel story is just too outrageous not to be true. As to whether it has happened to others, evidently it has. I watched an interview with a doctor on either CNN or Fox News Network who indicated it was not an unusual occurance, although not always due to a pretzel. But I won't rain on your parade folks. Have fun! :>) DougR |
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15 Jan 02 - 12:55 PM (#628398) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: kendall That's pretty creative for you, Doug! More! |
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15 Jan 02 - 01:13 PM (#628409) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: M.Ted I am surprised that some folklorist has not collected these "morning after" stories--They are a bit like the stories that cracked-out panhandlers tell--they hold together for about five minutes after you've given them some money--
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15 Jan 02 - 01:20 PM (#628414) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The Walrus at work On the other hand Doug, it could be good camouflage. I present you with this as a spin doctor/propagandist's train of thought (the notes in brackets are mine).
"Here we have a man who is perceived (NOTE: we are talking perception, not necessarily truth<1>) as acting occasionally like he is a sandwich short of a picnic. He has a problem wich may or may not be serious so, if we give the press an excuse which sounds outlandish, then people will laugh, make a few jokes and look no further, if we give them a believable excuse, people might start to worry and look into the matter. Bring on the pretzels."
Absolutely no evidence, just a feeling. Walrus |
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15 Jan 02 - 01:23 PM (#628416) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: The Walrus at work Sorry, the foot note in my last post should have read <1> Truth and perception are often poles apart. Walrus |
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15 Jan 02 - 03:12 PM (#628483) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Mebbe so, Walrus, mebbe so. DougR |
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16 Jan 02 - 12:30 AM (#628812) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: GUEST,rustic-rebel *you are all very amusing. Thanks *Wyowomen-Jr said he fell on his glasses and they cut his face. Curious to me. Anyway the proof is in the pretzel pudding (I suppose it's pudding now after being dissolved by spit) |
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16 Jan 02 - 09:23 AM (#628930) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: SharonA rustic-rebel: By NOW it's Presidential poop! |
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16 Jan 02 - 01:41 PM (#629092) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Charley Noble Maybe I missed this in scanning the above threads. Just imagine, Dick Cheney, a pretzel away from becoming President. Damn, no, McGrath beat me to it. How about "a dogbreath's away from President"? |
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16 Jan 02 - 02:49 PM (#629139) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow "I just think the pretzel story is just too outrageous not to be true."
That would be the idea of thinking it up if it wasn't true. All really experienced liars know that a good lie has to be a bit bizarre. |
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16 Jan 02 - 03:52 PM (#629199) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Little Hawk This is the kind of thing that makes me very glad I'm not an elected politician...or even an unelected one. As for the fist fight in the pantry with Osama...well, yeah, Dubya took a nasty shot upside the eye...but you shoulda seen the other guy! :-) - LH |
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16 Jan 02 - 06:11 PM (#629294) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR L.H.: I think he hit him with a pretzel. That's what did the REAL damage. DougR |
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16 Jan 02 - 06:23 PM (#629297) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Ebbie But the pretzel was inside him. |
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17 Jan 02 - 06:47 PM (#630018) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Rollo WyoWoman, to help you with your researches: I know of someone who's swallowed something the wrong way and fallen over in a heap for just seconds. This one is me. We were sitting together with friends and I was eating a hot dog when someone made a joke. I started laughing and choked on a piece of rosted onion. I still remember I was giggling like hell and choking in the same moment, next I was lying sideways on the floor, having BRUISED MY HEAD on the table corner. Everyone was quiet and looked at me. I was quite amazed why there was noone laughing anymore. They told me "Roland, don't you do this no more, right?" They said I had started wobbling like mad and my face had turned dark-red, then I had sunk sideways to the floor, where I spend nearly a minute in spasms before I choked out the damned onion. Everyone had been so terrified they hadn't even moved. the HIGH SUPREME RULER OF THE WORLD may be Mister WRONG PERSON FOR THE JOB himself but his story sounds completely all right by me. Also there is nothing you can laugh about wich such incident. My hot dog was nearly uneaten when I dropped it on the floor. Shame for the waste. |
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17 Jan 02 - 07:30 PM (#630057) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC He didn't swallow it the wrong way, and he didn't choke. He swallowed it the right way, but the pretzel piece was too big and it got stuck in the correct passage. According to the doctor I saw explaining this, the pretzel (painfully stuck in the correct passage) stimulated the vagus nerve which slowed W's heart rate and rendered him unconscious. Now here's the part that I, personally find very suspicious (and a little disturbing)... On the very same day that Mr. B. got that pretzel stuck in his throat, perhaps even at the same time, I got a big honking vitamin pill stuck in my throat. I didn't pass out, but it hurt like hell. Could this be some kind of conspiracy? Hmmm....
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17 Jan 02 - 07:37 PM (#630073) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Now if ol' Dubya' had just had a different pet instead of his stupid dogs............Maybe something like this guy had...emphasis on HAD!
Pet Lizards Eat Man DOVER, Delaware: Several flesh-eating pet lizards were found feasting on the corpse of their owner in his US apartment, police have said. Police were called to Ronald Huff's apartment in Newark, Delaware, after a relative became worried because Huff failed to show up for work, investigators said. Officers found Huff's body on the floor, with his pet Nile monitor lizards feeding on his flesh. The state medical examiner is investigating the cause of death. Huff, 42, had last been seen on Sunday, New Castle County police said. Workers with the Delaware Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals recovered seven lizards, the largest over 1.8 metres long and weighing 11.34 kg. "They're alive and well," said SPCA director John Caldwell. He added that one of the reptiles recovered was acting aggressively, "actually going toward you, mouth open". Caldwell said the lizards have small but very sharp teeth and muscular, whip-like tails that can seriously injure a person. In the wild, they eat eggs, birds and other animals, he said. "In captivity, we feed them raw chicken and liver. You can also feed them hard-boiled eggs," he said. The lizards are considered exotic pets in Delaware and cannot be acquired without a permit from the state Department of Agriculture. State veterinarian Dr HW Towers said the department stopped issuing such permits for New Castle County residents in 1997 after the county passed an ordinance to stop the proliferation of exotic pets.
Okay Gang---Cough up some bucks to send these lizards to George!!!!Spaw
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17 Jan 02 - 07:58 PM (#630095) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Bobert Were do I send my contribution, Spawzer? And, heck, lets just atke up a big enough collection to send man eating lizzards to everyone whose is in line to take the throne until we come to one with a three digit I.Q. I realize that's a lot of lizards but.... Speaking of lizards, one day remind me to tell you about the lizard that Rufus used to own, or vic versa.... |
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18 Jan 02 - 12:04 AM (#630240) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR Carol C: It didn't turn you into a Republican did it? :>) DougR |
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18 Jan 02 - 02:02 AM (#630258) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Maybe not Doug, but I think she should stay away from buying a lizard. Spaw |
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18 Jan 02 - 01:44 PM (#630641) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: DougR I wholeheartedly agree, Spaw. DougR |
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18 Jan 02 - 02:07 PM (#630663) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC No, DougR, it didn't. Vitamins are for pinkos like me. Pretzels are for Republicans. ...and I'm going to be a good girl and not post a treatise on all the ways in which a blood thirsty, human flesh eating, cold blooded lizard is like a Republican. I mean, that wouldn't be sporting, would it? It's just too easy. |
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18 Jan 02 - 03:27 PM (#630683) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: CarolC Ooohhh... did I say that? |
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18 Jan 02 - 04:10 PM (#630695) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: McGrath of Harlow Be fair to the lizards, if you drop dead in a locked room with a dog or cat, it is going to start chewing on you when it gets hungry enough.
Given time, those pooches that looked on with interest when Bush keeled over, would have done the same.
I still think it sounds a lot like the open door that people blame when the bruises get a bit too obvious. As I said, if he'd died, would anyone have believed the pretzel theory?
King John was supposed to have died from "a surfeit of lampreys" which was widely taken to have meant he had been poisoned. But a surfeit of pretzels? |
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19 Jan 02 - 04:14 PM (#631232) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Little Hawk It's not so evil of family pets to eat the dead body of their former owner...they know perfectly well that the living personality who was the owner is not in there anymore, and they are practical enough to dispose of the body, rather than leave it lying around to decay. Totally sensible. They're just not so sentimental as humans. Remember that story about the woman who kept her decaying wedding cake for years and years, mouldering away in her room? No animal would be silly enough to do such a thing. Lizards, on the whole, are quite likeable...except for Cheech Wizard, that is. He's a depraved scumbag. - LH |
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19 Jan 02 - 06:41 PM (#631323) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: jup Did it happen before or after he herd about Prince Harry? They say he was watching football. Can football be that exciting afterall it's a game not a sport. I think he was checking out Mudcat and it all got to much for him.Anyway the world had a lucky escape. Who can remember Mr.Creasoat from Monty Python. Just a thought. |
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19 Jan 02 - 07:18 PM (#631344) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: catspaw49 Well gawd knows that could be the truth! Maybe he read that Neil Young got that simpleass award. Dubya may be stupid, but even HE could see the irony in the writer of "Ohio" falling into Bushbaby's scheme. People for the American Way, which once described the goal of the PMRC censors as "to bring children and parents together on music selection," gave Neil Young its Spirit of Liberty award at a December 11 Beverly Hills banquet. Young used the occasion to proclaim his support of the USA/Patriot Act, which became law on October 26. "To protect our freedoms," Young said, "it seems we're going to have to relinquish some of our freedoms for a short period of time." I'm thinking of closing the NYCFTTS. Fuck Neil and the crazy horse he rode in on! The CIA thing I joked about now sounds like an all too real possibility. Spaw |
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19 Jan 02 - 07:32 PM (#631350) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: WyoWoman I think the home definitely should stay open. It now has truly earned its name. Neil YOung IS terminally screwed ... ww |
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19 Jan 02 - 10:11 PM (#631414) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: mousethief If this isn't a song challenge it should be. So Here's my song. --------------------------------------------
Chew the Twist
Come on Georgie, and chew the twist.
Your daddy eats pork rinds, and your mama ain't around
You should see the president turn blue
Now the Secret Service men come running in a blur
So come on Georgie, and chew the twist. Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
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20 Jan 02 - 07:11 PM (#631845) Subject: RE: BS: Pres. Bush in pretzel choking drama From: Donuel NEWS FLASH Less than 24 hours after Secret Service agents wrestled a deranged pretzel to the ground, friends of the accused snack expressed shock at its alleged role in Sunday's attack on the President. Ann Wilkes of the Virginia based Snack Food Association told reporters: "Nobody detected any hints of violence from the 1400 year old snack. Its just a mixture of wheat four, yeast and salt, bathed in sodium hydroxide. I can't believe it would go postal. Sure, it was a bit of a loner, but never this twisted.
Home Security Chief, Tom Ridge will be issuing an all-points bulletin for Mr. Salty and called for a heightened state of alert. The nation is now 220% alert and has informed on all suspicious snacks and in-laws.
Evidence is mounting that Sunday's incident isn't the first time a pretzel has stalked the president. On May 22, a fifth grader who was touring the White House found a pretzel inside the residence and pocketed it. Colin Hansen still has the snack in a plastic bag in his refrigerator but so far the FBI hasn't sought his pretzel for questioning. Democrats are lamenting the fact that Dick Cheney is now just a pretzel away from the presidency. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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