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Interim Song Challenge! No. 1

29 Jan 02 - 03:53 PM (#638120)
Subject: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

Kat says she's sure Áine wouldn't mind an "INTERIM SONG CHALLENGE!" while she recuperates, and this one, I think, needs a timely response.

(I don't feel qualified to give out B.L.O.B.s and Cow Chips, but you Challenge!rs can hand out giggles and kudos to each other, and maybe sometime after she returns, the Goddess will award the Cow Chips, etc.

Genie
---------------------------------
Interim Song Challenge!
Blind Justice, fine. Naked Truth, fine. Naked Justice? No Way!!
From ABCNews.com
Attorney General John Ashcroft appears under the Spirit of Justice statue. (Joe Marquette/AP Photo)

Click for photo
Draping History
Halls of Justice: A Weekly Look
Inside the Justice Department

By Beverley Lumpkin

W A S H I N G T O N, Jan. 25 — About three weeks ago, I received a tip. The attorney general was fed up with having his picture taken during events in the Great Hall in front of semi-nude statues. He had ordered massive draperies to conceal the offending figures. But initially not only could the story not be confirmed — it was strongly denied.

As some of you may know the Justice Department building was constructed during the 1930s as a WPA project, completed in 1934. The artwork and fittings were strongly influenced by the Art Deco movement. Much of the ornamentation in the building is made of aluminum, apparently a big Art Deco feature.

The Great Hall is basically what it sounds like — a large, even grand, two-story room used for department events and ceremonies. The formal entrance up a winding stairway is adorned with murals depicting great figures in the history of law, including Moses, Hammurabi, and John Marshall.

At the opposite end of the hall, on either side of the stage, are two enormous and stylized but largely naked aluminum statues. On the left, the female figure represents the Spirit of Justice; the male on the right is the Majesty of Law. The male is clad in only a cloth draped over his essential parts; the female wears a sort of toga-style garment, but one breast is entirely exposed. She's been fondly referred to for years by at least some as "Minnie Lou."

And she's the one the photographers seek out. The most famous pictures of all were shot when former U.S. Attorney General Edwin Meese proudly released the final report of his commission on pornography. No one in the Great Hall that day could ever forget the spectacle of the still photographers writhing on the floor, flat on their backs, in order to grab the shot of Meese holding up the porn report with Minnie Lou's breast over his shoulder.

So there were some who wondered how Attorney General John Ashcroft, known as a strongly religious and conservative man, would get along with the figures once he became attorney general.

For a long time he didn't seem to mind. But last November he and Deputy Attorney General Larry Thompson staged a major event in the Great Hall, to announce their plans for restructuring the Justice Department to address the new challenge of fighting terrorism. Many papers the next day used a photo of the attorney general with — you guessed it — Minnie Lou and that breast right over his shoulder.

According to my original tipster, that was the final straw for Ashcroft, and he ordered that the statues henceforth be draped.

Public affairs people however denied any such thing. They stoutly maintained that the attorney general had never complained and that no draperies had been ordered. They pointed out that periodically, through different administrations, draperies were sometimes rented for particular events.

They noted that former spokeswoman Mindy Tucker always hated the statues; Mindy told me Thursday it was her view that half the women in the department were offended by them and the other half considered them art.

Well, I guess this is a lot of background to get to the point: the draperies have in fact been ordered. Minnie Lou and her mate now can only be imagined. The draperies installed last week at a cost of just over $8,000.

And it turns out that they were indeed ordered by someone in the attorney general's office, who delivered the request to the Justice Management Division and asserted it was the attorney general's desire. I'm told she was the only person in the attorney general's office who knew about it. She's his advance person, and she said it was done for "aesthetic purposes" — she just thought it would look better when staging events in the Great Hall.

So now it appears that rather than making an occasional appearance, the draperies are here to stay — unless and until someone has the temerity to request an event without them.

------------------------------------
Go for it, Challenge!rs!! Let's make The Golden Goddess proud!

29 Jan 02 - 03:58 PM (#638123)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

Well, Kat and I both tried the clicky and it tells you the page is not available. But a few minutes ago, I cut the html address below and pasted it into my browser, and it took me to the ABCNews.com website with the photo of Ashcroft giving his press conference right below Minnie Lou's voluptuous nakedness, so try the cut and paste.

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/HallsOfJustice/hallsofjustice.html

Genie

29 Jan 02 - 04:10 PM (#638132)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: MMario

If you knew old Minnie Lou,
Then you'd know why I feel blue
My Minnie, oh my Minnie Lou
They've draped you, girl, is it true?
Minnie Lou, Minnie Lou,
Minnie Lou!

Oh, The Great Hall still yearns for you
Oh Minnie, my Minnie Lou
I love you,yes, your breast too!
Minnie Lou, Minnie Lou
Minnie Lou
Picture pretty, nekkid titty Minnie Lou
Ph Minnie - Oh my Minnie Lou!

29 Jan 02 - 04:15 PM (#638137)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

LOL, MMario!
Thanks for starting us out with such a good one!
Genie

29 Jan 02 - 04:20 PM (#638140)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Murray MacLeod

Two right tits ....

Murray

29 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM (#638151)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

..don't make a thong!

29 Jan 02 - 04:50 PM (#638165)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

Actually I think this is grounds for a suit on Consittutional grounds. The Temple of theGolden Globes as long considered this statue as an icon. Like many religous groups we occasionally resort to such material representations as a substitute for direct contact with the objects of our religous reverence, usually because the real thing is temporarily out of reach for whatever reason.

I am in touch with several of the touchy-feely types who serve as Deacons for the Temple to see how they would feel, or be touched by, the prospect of filing such a legal action. This is as bad as building oil wells on ancient burying grounds!!

So far, all they have responded is the usual Temple dogma -- "Our cups runneth over!". "To stare is human, two mammaries, divine...." and so on.

But they are veterans of sticking to the curves and have a very upfront attitude, so i am sure they will see the reason of my proposal, if they don't get completely unhooked first. They're a touchy lot, as I say.

A

29 Jan 02 - 05:50 PM (#638197)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: katlaughing

LMAO, Amos! From one Golden Globe-r...I say SUE!!

Genie, I tried fixing the link, every which way, but for some reason the complete addy, in the link, is not translating to the browser bar. Very strange, anyway, thanks for starting this and for posting the URL!

29 Jan 02 - 06:09 PM (#638212)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

Ashcroft Drapes History might work....

29 Jan 02 - 07:01 PM (#638251)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: CapriUni

Yup, Amos. That time it worked (for me, anyway). But the picture was too durn dark to see anything of Minnie Lou! :::Durn, durn, durn!!:::

What I want to know is: How did the Spirit of Justice get the name "Minnie Lou"? And who were the "some" who called her that ??

And while Ashcroft is a Christian conservative, there are religions that see nakedness as sacred. Our own Goddess, as a matter of fact, may be in the process of converting to such a religion, herself ... ;-)

Maybe we should get Áine into posistion of Atterny General...

29 Jan 02 - 07:16 PM (#638266)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

Yeah, Kat, I know you can't clickify that addy and get it to work, but cutting and pasting it works for me every time.

Genie

Amos, like Minnie Lou, you're in great form!

29 Jan 02 - 07:26 PM (#638274)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: CraigS

Hello, Minnie Lou, Goodbye tit The Attorney General covered up that bit The scales of justice were somewhat on the tilt But at least he didn't make you wear a kilt!

29 Jan 02 - 09:03 PM (#638360)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: McGrath of Harlow

The Naked Hymn of the Republic.

They want to cover up the statues,
cover up the naughty bits,
They want to cover up the naked limbs,
the Torso and the Tits,
Like they cover up the hole behind
where justice sometimes sits,
They want to cover up the truth once more.

There's a statue in the Great Hall,
and it doesn't wear a lot,
It reminds us all that naked truth's
the best thing that we've got,
But the guys in charge don't like it,
the truth is sometimes much too hot,
They want to cover up the truth once more.

It could be that democracy is going down the pan -
They'd wrap a blanket round the Truth, they'll do it if they can,
Or hide her in a burqa they brought from Afghanistan.
They want to cover up the truth once more.

The Suits all say the statue makes them look so over dressed,
Well I'll tell you what is needed now to do to sort out all this mess,
Let's see the chief attorney strip down to his socks and vest,
And let's uncover up the truth once more.

When Bill Clinton was the President it never would have done,
The coverups he tried on always seemed to come undone
And now and then, Slick Willy would uncover just for fun,
He made the cover of the Rolling Stone.

But now that Bush is resident, he tries to cover up it all,
He says it was the cracker had him riding for a fall,
Well, maybe it was the cracker, but that story seems a little tall.
They want to cover up the truth once more.

They will cover up the statues,
cover up the naughty bits,
They will cover up the naked limbs,
the torso and the tits,
Like they cover up the hole behind
where justice sometimes sits,
They want to cover up the truth once more.

29 Jan 02 - 09:40 PM (#638377)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: CapriUni

Love it, McGrath!

29 Jan 02 - 10:33 PM (#638420)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Mark Cohen

THE BREAST OF JUSTICE

Hello Justice my old friend
They're trying to cover you again
Because John Ashcroft softly weeping
Saw the photographs of his meeting
And your proud metallic gleam in the flashing light
Gave him a fright
It was the Breast of Justice

Remember back in '34
They placed you on the marble floor
Like a beacon in the dark you shone
Like a goddess on a heav'nly throne
And for years and years you proudly stood and glared
At all who dared
To hide the Breast of Justice

While the people bowed and prayed
To other gods whose games they played
You alone held up this warning
To the ones whose fears were forming
And you told them, "Justice will prevail, though the prudes of any shape
May throw a drape
Across the Breast of Justice"

"Fools," you said, "You do not know
This metal skin is only show
While you beat your breast in anguished pose
Because you happen to see mine exposed
Do you think that a few yards of cloth will set you free?
Don't you see?
This is the Breast of Justice"

In every corner of the land
Wherever Justice takes a stand
Putting curtains up to hide the light
Will only make the truth burn twice as bright
And our eyes will behold the heart of liberty
Beating free
Within the Breast of Justice


(I think I got a little carried away here...)

Aloha,
Mark

29 Jan 02 - 11:30 PM (#638455)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

Wow, McGrath! What an exposé!
I especially like:
"They want to cover up the statues, cover up the naughty bits,
They want to cover up the naked limbs, the Torso and the Tits,
Like they cover up the hole behind where justice sometimes sits,
They want to cover up the truth once more."

and

"It could be that democracy is going down the pan - They'd wrap a blanket round the Truth, they'll do it if they can,
Or hide her in a burqa they brought from Afghanistan.
They want to cover up the truth once more."

You, too, Mark. What're ya tryin' to do, be profound or sumpin'?

In every corner of the land
Wherever Justice takes a stand
Putting curtains up to hide the light
Will only make the truth burn twice as bright
And our eyes will behold the heart of liberty
Beating free
Within the Breast of Justice

Genie

29 Jan 02 - 11:59 PM (#638470)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

GENTLEMEN, MY HAT IS OFF. YOU ARE PROFOUNDLY FINE!!

A

(and my caps ock key is a profound pain in the butt!)

30 Jan 02 - 06:09 AM (#638561)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: GUEST

Good on you McGrath, Hitting the nail on the head and with style. Bin O`Leary.

30 Jan 02 - 07:28 AM (#638571)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Aidan Crossey

Jaysus! I've come over all allegorical! Apologies to Thomas Moore …

The harp that once through Tara's halls
The soul of music shed
Now hangs as mute on Tara's walls
As if that soul were fled
And beauty caught in jet and jade
No longer on display
But the veil will not their beauty fade
Nor the drape their charms decay

No more to chiefs and ladies bright
The harp of Tara swells;
The chord alone that breaks at night
Its tale of ruin tells.
The works that those before us made
Will last when we are dust
The veil will not their beauty fade
Though fade our beauty must

The harp that once through Tara's halls
Was plucked by Tara's bards
Now mutely hangs on Tara's walls
And the minstrel has been barred
The artists who used tint and stone
To conjure works sublime
With the wind away've been blown
With those who fashion rhymes

And now in Tara's marble halls
We're deafened by the sound
That echoes off her warble walls –
A silence so profound
And grim we are in Tara's courts
And grey and hard and cold
And Tara has become a fort
When once it was a fold

30 Jan 02 - 07:36 AM (#638575)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Aidan Crossey

Spot the deliberate (as if!) mistake in the last verse ... "marble walls" has somehow (i.e. through my cack-fistedness) become "warble walls". An interesting concept ... but not on this particular occasion!

30 Jan 02 - 08:21 AM (#638582)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: GUEST

Positively purrs. Derryadd Sam

30 Jan 02 - 09:41 AM (#638628)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: MMario

good stuff guys!

30 Jan 02 - 09:46 AM (#638634)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Charley Noble

Brilliant! I'd still like to see an image of "justice draped."

A grandfather of mine stirred up a similar controversy back in the 1930's with his "Spirit of the Dance" originally displayed in the Rockafeller Plaza skating rink. She was subsequently shifted to the "Lady's Lounge" where she languishes till this day in her splendid nakedness.

30 Jan 02 - 02:24 PM (#638788)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: CapriUni

Thanks for telling us about that, Charley... I've never had a real desire to visit the Rockefeller skating rink, until now, that is!

30 Jan 02 - 03:34 PM (#638841)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

Update:
Apparently Ashcroft's office is now denying that he himself had anything to do with the installation of the drapes or even knew about it.

Sure.

So I guess it could now be the mystery of "Who Draped Minnie Lou?"

(It was a woman in his office -- I forgot her title -- who actually ordered it done. The question is, why would she take it upon herself to do it if the action was not at least tacitly agreed to by her boss?) Whoever dun it, the Spirit Of Justice, after being fit for viewing since 1934, is now considered either too indecent or too distracting to continue to be seen during press conferences.)

Genie

30 Jan 02 - 03:45 PM (#638850)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

Evidently the notion that Justice could be vulnerable in any way, or even sensitive, is anathema to certain Administrations.

A

31 Jan 02 - 03:48 PM (#639491)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: McGrath of Harlow

I suppose it was this kind of thinking that explains why the French were so tactful when they gave New York the Statue of Liberty, and made sure to have her fully dressed. Imagine if she'd been a bit nekkid...

31 Jan 02 - 08:56 PM (#639688)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: CapriUni

McGrath --

The main difference between Lady Liberty and the Spirit of Justice, of course, is that the Lady is holding up a torch.

If I were in her place, I'd want to be covered, too, in case a spark landed on a sensitive area. It's the same reason I'd want to wear clothes if I were frying bacon...

24 Feb 02 - 01:35 AM (#656600)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

I've thought of a good song for this Challenge!, but I don't have much of it, lyrics-wise.

I think it's Loretta Lynn who sang, "If You're Lookin' At Me, You're Lookin' At Country." Well, how about John Ashcroft singing
"When you're lookin' at me, you won't be lookin' at Justice!"?

Genie

02 May 02 - 04:15 AM (#702687)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: GUEST,Justin Observer

This is making the forwarding rounds. It was sent by a woman in Washington who had the great pleasure of hearing the following letter read by the author at this year's In Celebration of the Muse, Cabrillo College. She was the highlight of the evening [for many]. The author is a woman of 60+ years, conservatively dressed and obviously quite talented.

An Open Letter to John Ashcroft, Attorney General Of The United States

On January 28, 2002, Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that he spent $8,000 of taxpayers' money to cover up the exposed breast of The Spirit of Justice, an 18 foot aluminum statue of a woman that stands in the Department of Justice's Hall of Justice.
John, John, John, you've got your priorities all wrong.

While men fly airplanes into skyscrapers, dive bomb the Pentagon;
while they stick explosives into their shoes and then book a seat right next to us; while they hide knives in their luggage, steal kids on school buses, take little girls from their beds at night, drive trucks into our state capital buildings;
while our president calls dangerous men all over the world evildoers and devils;
while we live in the threat of biological warfare, nuclear destruction, annihilation:
you are out buying yardage to save Americans from the appalling, alarming, abominable aluminum alloy of evil, that terrible ten foot tittie.
You might not be able to find Bin Laden but you sure as hell found the hooter in the Hall of Justice. It's not that we aren't grateful but while we were begging the women of Afghanistan not to cover up their faces, you are begging your staff members to just cover up that nipple to save the American people from that monstrous metal mammary.

How can we ever thank you?

So, in your office every morning in your secret prayer meeting,
while an American woman is sexually assaulted every six seconds,
while anthrax floats around the post office and settles in the chest of senior citizens, you've got another chest on your mind. While American sons arrive home in body bags and heat seeking missiles fly around a foreign country looking for any warm body, you think of another body. And you pray for the biggest bra in the world, John, because you see that breast on the spirit of justice in the spirit of your own inhibited sexuality.
And when we women see our grandmothers, our mothers, our daughters, our granddaughters, our sisters, ourselves,
when we women see that statue, the Spirit of Justice, we see the spirit of strength, the spirit of survival.
While every day we view innocent bodies dragged out of rubble and women and children laid out like thin limp dolls and baptized into death as collateral damage and the hollow-eyed Afghani mother's milk has dried up underneath her burka in famine in shame and her children are dead at her breast;

While you look at that breast, John, that jug on the Spirit of Justice, and deal with your thoughts of lust and sex and nakedness, we see it as a testimony to motherhood.

And you see it as a tit.

It's not the money it cost, it's the message you send. We've got the right to live in freedom, we've got the right to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars and then just not want to tell Congress about it.

We've got the right to drop bombs night and day on a small country that has no army, no navy, no military at all, because we've got the right to bear arms. But we'd just better not even think about the right to bare breasts.

So now, John, you can be photographed while you stand there and talk about guns and bombs and poisons without the breast appearing over your right shoulder, without that bodacious bosom bothering you and we just wanted to tell you in the spirit of justice, in the spirit of truth

JOHN, THERE IS STILL ONE VERY BIG BOOB
LEFT STANDING THERE IN THAT PICTURE.

Speech given by Clair Braz-Valentine

05 May 02 - 03:19 AM (#704612)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Genie

A friend forwarded me this observation that someone made about our Attorney General:

Ashcroft should be charged with "statutory drape."

Genie

05 May 02 - 11:10 AM (#704734)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Uncle_DaveO

This is a three-dimensional equivalent of book-burning!

Dave Oesterreich

05 May 02 - 11:33 AM (#704744)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

Well, it's a deep-seated Darwinian thing -- a second rate boob goes psycho at the site of a better boob -- competitive instinct, ya know....

The Tactile Ascended Masters of the Temple of the Golden Globe are planning a lawsuit on grounds of infringement of the free practice of religion, but the lawyers are saying it will be terribly expensive, so I am open to donations for the "Uncover the Boob" fund.

We are also planning a giant (Two Million Boobs) march on Washington on the same theme, and we are trying to get a couple of thousand lactating volunteers to march in the front rows, for effect... but we have to pull it off in the warm weather.

A

05 May 02 - 11:38 AM (#704747)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Sorcha

Master, you need to co-ordinate this with World Topless Day........

05 May 02 - 03:43 PM (#704847)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: Amos

Thanks, Sorch; as a deeply religious member of the Temple, you make me feel touched by an angel!! :>)

A

10 May 02 - 10:41 AM (#708158)
Subject: RE: Interim Song Challenge! No. 1
From: The Admiral

I'm only bringing this back to light of day to cheer up Dave Guest!