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BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!

14 Jun 02 - 02:24 PM (#730059)
Subject: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

It has been over a year since Little Hawk introduced the idea of Shatner as a Mudcat Icon. At first, it was a running joke that concerned Shatner as the premier example of "the manly man". Soon, LH was running a popularity contest between Shatner and Spaw. Reluctantly, many of us were drawn in. At first, the entire Shatner concept seemed like a whim, but soon it became clear that Little Hawk was not letting up. His attempt to incorporate Shatnerization as part of the daily Mudcat Lexicon met with a mixed response, but soon, other Mudcatters were using the "Shatner" keyword as guaranteed laugh-getter.

So here is my question : Has Shatner indeed reached the level where he is a candidate for admission to Official Mudcat Icon Status alongside Tiples, Possums, Paw and Cletus, the Neil Young Center, the Tavern with its Jello Pit, Big Mick's Thong? Please vote for the following that most closely describes your opinion :

1) Yes! Shatner is a great addition to the site. The very idea cracks me up! In fact, I'm laughing right now!

2) Maybe. It's still too soon to tell. I'll wait until Shatner gets some major endorsements. What does Catspaw think, anyhow?

3) No! The very mention of Shatner gives me nausea. Let the damned Trekkies start their own website...the Vulcan Forum or Borgchat. In fact, the word Shatner should trigger an automatic Delete Response in the Mudcat Software.

Make yourself heard. Even Little Hawk could be influenced to abide by the result of this vote!


Previous Shatner Threads (click) (please do not refresh them)


14 Jun 02 - 02:34 PM (#730073)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: mousethief

HIJACK ALERT!

This seems like as good a place as any to dump the lyrics to my song spoof, "Shatner"

SHATNER
Tune: Shattered (Rolling Stones)

Shoop, shadooby, Shatner (2x)
I'm from Star Trek T.O.S.
Which still survives at conferences
Look at me, I'm getting' fatter!
Shoop, shadooby, I'm Bill Shatner.
Shoop, shadooby, Shatner.

Fans are so alarming
My agent's never charming
Life's just a cocktail party at the "con"
Big Hilton
People dressed as Klingons
Giving lectures
About Gene Roddenberry
(Shatner)

Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher – sexy sexy sexy sexy!
Look at me, I'm getting' fatter!
Shoop shadooby, I'm Bill Shatner!
Shoop, shadooby, Shatner

All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter 'bout
DS9 and The Enterprise -- I can't give it away at this con
These people need to get a life (shadooby)
Work and work to plug your book
Don't you want my autograph? graph graph graph graph!
Does it matter? (shadooby--Shatner) Does it matter?
I'm Bill Shatner.
(Shadooby) -- Shatner.

You got Ferengi in the west ballroom
Ferengi in the break-out session
What a mess this con is in
Uh-huh, this con is full of money grabbers
Go ahead, buy my book! You bunch of [expletive]s!
There's no intelligent life here,
Scotty, beam me up Up UP UP!

Look at me!
(shoop shadooby) I'm Bill Shatner! (etc. repeat and fade)

Copyright © 2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.


14 Jun 02 - 02:40 PM (#730077)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

So...that would be #1, MT?


14 Jun 02 - 02:59 PM (#730090)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: mousethief

#3.


14 Jun 02 - 03:03 PM (#730097)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Clinton Hammond

nerds


14 Jun 02 - 03:07 PM (#730103)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: wysiwyg

No, because LH has admittted deliberately entering Shatner into the Mudcat collective mind just to see if he could implant an icon in that mind (or words to that effect). The other icons emerged because they were creative things that just caught on.

I don't like being experimented on or manipulated, and I say we all just ignore any further Shatner Shit in any form.

~Susan


14 Jun 02 - 03:19 PM (#730110)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Clinton Hammond

gods know you folks -can- ignore something when you put your minds to it...

If only spam and flames fell off the pages as fast as THIS thread has...


14 Jun 02 - 03:21 PM (#730111)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

"Shatner shit" sounds like a #3. Clinton seems like he's voted #3 as well, unless he's naming his favorite hard candy. I can't believe Little Hawk has yet to arrive on the scene. I figured this thread would draw him like a moth to a candle.


14 Jun 02 - 03:30 PM (#730115)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: katlaughing

Absofuckinglutely NUMERO TRES!!! And, I consider myself somewhat of a Trek fan, BUT all-inclusive, not just the Shatupon!


14 Jun 02 - 03:41 PM (#730127)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

So far, with early returns from four precincts in, it appears that the Iconization of Shatner is going down in defeat. It is still too early to make a solid prediction, though. Is the day coming soon when the name Shatner shall no longer ring in these hallowed halls?


14 Jun 02 - 03:49 PM (#730131)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Fibula Mattock

Bloody hell Clinton, I never thought I'd be naive enough to follow one of your links - just goes to show how much bravado can be generated by 3 double gin and tonics!

Erm, #2. Has Spaw done a Cletus story on Shatner yet? I am shatnerambivalent. Star Trek is a different matter (lose the moral goody-two-shoes code, introduce some interesting characters and develop a plotline and I might watch the damn thing...nah, maybe not - it's too geeky for me, and I practically live in a computer science department).


14 Jun 02 - 04:02 PM (#730138)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: catspaw49

To be truthful, the other icons didn't just happen along either. After something was mentioned, like possums, the idea would begin to grow and would be picked up by one or more "champions" of the cause until damn near the whole place was involved whether they wanted to be or not. In most of the cases Leej listed, I was the main pusher and certainly didn't hesitate to help promote the others.

HOWEVER

Shatner came along and LH decided to champion the cause to see what it would take and he has done a fine job of getting the name out there. The problem lies not in his maneuvering but in the subject.....Shatner. Being a horse's ass of major proportion and voted actor most likely to never be envied, Shatner isn't anything anyone really wants as an icon. He cannot drink at the Tavern, no one wants to see him in a thong(even one stuffed with a spud), he turns the lime Jell-O purple, the Young Center cannot cure him as his brain is even smaller than his balls, he thinks a tiple is hit you get in in baseball, the Little Pissant covers him daily to no avail, and Cleigh O'Possum will not let him blow up his asspipe for fear of contracting a social disease or rabies. And the guy can't even beat me in a "Who's Sexier" contest!!!

Nice try Hawk. "Ya' got the right string Baby, but the wrong yo-yo!"

    #3   



Spaw


14 Jun 02 - 04:54 PM (#730171)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

1) Yes! Shatner is a great addition to the site. The very idea cracks me up! In fact, I'm laughing right now!

I pick number one.

Many people don't know the real reason for LH's obsession with Shatner. Sure, he said it was an evil experiment to warp, twist, and manipulate our delicate little minds, but that was only bravado speaking, to cover up the deeper and more poignant truth.

The real story is that Shatner is LH's natural father. That's right. You heard me. It was during Shatner's early days as a Shakespearean (I use the term loosely) actor. He was playing the part of a tree in Midsummer Night's Dream (weird Canadian experimental theater... don't ask me to explain). Hawk's mother was in the audience and she kept giving Shatner the eye. Shatner, being young and, let's face it, a bit full of himself, was swept up in the moment, and he arranged to meet the lovely young woman backstage during intermission.

Shatner didn't have time to remove the tree costume before the next act, but with the creative employment of a knot-hole conveniently situated about halfway up the trunk of the tree, the splendid example of humanity we all know and love as Little Hawk was concieved. The rest is, as we say, history.

Hawk's a great guy. Let's let him have his little hero worship, ok?


14 Jun 02 - 05:01 PM (#730174)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Sorcha

LOL Carol!! My vote is still #333333333! We got the lil' Pissant--why do we need Shitner?


14 Jun 02 - 05:07 PM (#730177)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: AliUK

#1 Oh yes definitely #1. The wooden one is a god of great status noo one can touch him. By the way that tree wasn´t a costume in the Play.


14 Jun 02 - 05:12 PM (#730187)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: alanabit

#3


14 Jun 02 - 05:28 PM (#730199)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

At this early stage, its already becoming clear that Shatner is in deep trouble. Some who had counted on a strong Catspaw endorsement were grimly silent as he issued a stunning rejection. Barring a stirring, emotional, and uncharacteristically brief defense of his Icon by Little Hawk, Shatner's candidacy resembles the situation of the Titanic at 2:15 AM...dark, soggy, and nearly upside-down.


14 Jun 02 - 05:32 PM (#730203)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: mousethief

chilly too


14 Jun 02 - 06:20 PM (#730225)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: katlaughing

all of the other icons evolved from our collective creativity...the Shat can't hold a candle to them


14 Jun 02 - 06:36 PM (#730235)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! LOL!!! ROTFL!!! I love it...

Number 1 of course, you dumbasses!

1) Yes! Shatner is a great addition to the site. The very idea cracks me up! In fact, I'm laughing right now!

Your estimate of the election thus far is dutiful and meticulous...but sady in error, LEJ! Why do I say this? Because the almost universally low opinion people have of the Great William Shatner, his acting, his appearance, his sexiness, his brilliance, etc...that very LOW opinion is precisely what it is that MAKES him a deathless icon on Mudcat, as well as in the whole world. He is matchless in summoning up criticism. Why else would we name the educational institute found in His honor...the William Shatner School of BAAAAAAD Acting??? 7 By blatantly losing this election, Shatner has in fact WON THIS ELECTION!

Face it folks, you're screwed. If he wins, he wins...if he loses, he wins bigger! Shatner is here to stay.

- LH


14 Jun 02 - 06:37 PM (#730236)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

p.s. We definitely HAVE Shitnerization!

- LH


14 Jun 02 - 07:37 PM (#730266)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: artbrooks

The available choices are 1, 2 or 3...and 3 is defined as "the very mention of Shatner gives me nausea". In the absence of anything BEYOND 3, such as "#4: The stench of Shatner's jock makes the cockroaches nauseous and triggers a gag reflex in buzzards", I shall have to go along with the clear majority and vote for number 3.


14 Jun 02 - 08:18 PM (#730285)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Tweed

I gotta go for #1 on this one. Shatner is the finest most convincing actor in history. It's too bad Jack Nicholson got the role in "Cuckoo's Nest", a role that was tailor made for this Master of the Thespian Artform. I could go on and on, but why? It's so obvious...the massive contributions to film and television and..er...whut the...GAHHH..GODDAMNED PISSANT! NOT ON THE GITTARZ!..GET AWAY FROM THAT GIBSON....#$@@&*%$#@^^$#$!!


14 Jun 02 - 08:29 PM (#730289)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: rangeroger

This just in from the Great Mudcat Precinct of North Idaho;

#3

rr


14 Jun 02 - 08:49 PM (#730295)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,Just Amy

I vote for Bill Clinton. I don't care where his thing was. (Talking about the cigar). Aren't they the same guy?


14 Jun 02 - 08:54 PM (#730297)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,Just Amy

P.S. I think Opossum is the name of the animal.


14 Jun 02 - 09:33 PM (#730316)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Excuse me...I meant to say Shatnerization, not "Shitnerization"...honest I did. Geez, talk about Freudian slips! I see that Bill is still pulling in downright vicious insults and personal attacks. Even his jockstrap has been slandered. This is good. Iconhood is guaranteed under these conditions...

At least Tweed appreciates his true merits. Genius is often misunderstood, and Bill Shatner's is no exception in this regard. Don't forget, they laughed at Gus Tipwood too.

- LH


14 Jun 02 - 11:04 PM (#730350)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Tweed

Easy for you to say LH, for my support efforts of the Great One, I've now got Eau de Pissant wafting through the entire house..that little bastard really pisses me off..Even now the front of the house is under fire from a smallish marsupial shooting rotted persimmons from a hole in it's tail. May be terminally screwed but I'm still standing for Shitener..er Shatner, the King of all Actors.


15 Jun 02 - 12:32 AM (#730361)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

Allow me to point out that Shat is the past tens of Shit as in I sat and I shat.

In my best breathy Shatner Imitation.

Catspaw, Methinks....... thou dust........ protest , toooooo much.

It is my theory that 'Spaw is jealous because Mr. Shatner's acting is the only thing that stinks more than his flatulance.

As for this quite pointless vote, well put Little Hawk! Any participation in this thread is a defacto endorsement of Bill's Iconhood.

I have been laughing with and at William since 1969. I certianly don't intend to stop because of some silly vote. Bill Shatner has had the good taste to laugh at himself at least since the Saturday Night Live sketch where he told those trekkies to "get a life."

William Shatner is a pot bellied Canadian living in the US Southeast. As am I. And by gum! We're are quite a minority and we must stick together!

Make no mistake, You have all been Shatnerized. Shatner is an icon who transends Mudcat. An Icon to whom talent is irrelevant. You have all been assimilated!!

Two bonus reasons to love Shatner.

1. I recently saw him calling Bill Maher stupid. 2. He has pretty horses!


15 Jun 02 - 12:41 AM (#730362)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Stand fast, Tweed! Don't give in to terrorism and blackmail. You wouldn't believe the lengths these anti-Shatner people will go to to fix an election and to try to intimidate those among us who have the moral fiber to stand up and state the plain truth in public...that William Shatner is King of stage and screen.

The truth is, they're envious of his many superior attributes, and it bugs the hell out of 'em that he's a Canadian! As, I might add, are Jim Carrey, Ian Tyson, Gordon Lightfoot, Shania Twain, Celine Dionne, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Skid Watson, and Wayne Gretzky.

Oh, how it rankles...pity about how all those invasion attempts failed so miserably in the War of 1812, eh? Yankee Doodle came to town...and got his butt kicked! Hee! Hee!

Stand by for some very interesting revelations as this sordid and falsified election unfolds....

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 12:52 AM (#730366)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

My most trusted informant and digger up of mud, who shall for now remain nameless (ahem - Deep Pockets), has passed on some informaion that I think will be of interest to everyone in this (sham) election.

If the members of the electorate will examine the following pieces of evidence...

Exhibit #1

Exhibit #2

They will see that the candidate in question has already been ensrined in the Mudcat as a Mudcat Icon, and has been enjoying said status since no later than April of 2002.

Mr. Lonesome EJ, Sir (may I call you Lonesome?). Lonesome, I am frankly shocked and quite beside myself about this flagrant misuse of whatever it is you're misusing here. This calumny you call an election. This sham of a dog and pony show. Why there's pony and dog droppings all over the place!

I think you boys have a lot to answer for. And I'm going to let you give your answer to someone with a hell of a lot more intestinal fortitude than me! Good day Gentlemen!


15 Jun 02 - 12:58 AM (#730368)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Amy - There are some very intriguing parallels between Bill Shatner and Bill Clinton...

Amazing charisma, animal magnetism, unique musical talents, and sex appeal that hits ya like a freight train careening down a 30 degree grade.

Then there's leadership too...born leaders, both of them.

I could go on and on about this...

But I'm not going to. (HUGE sigh of relief from the studio audience...or is that a wave of applause I hear?)

It must be something about the name Bill.

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 01:05 AM (#730370)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: katlaughing

That was my point, exactly, JtS, re' Shat.


15 Jun 02 - 01:05 AM (#730371)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

LH

You forgot the pot bellies.

And they both have had sex with women who don't look like they are from this planet.


15 Jun 02 - 01:05 AM (#730373)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Ah hah! Just read Carol's fast-breaking report, and had a quick look at the 2 exhibits...

Well, boys, you've been hung by your own petard this time. This election has just been blown right out of the water. It's deader than the Battleship of Maine.

Shatner RULES! You knew it then, you know it now. Admit defeat. It's over. :-)

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 01:12 AM (#730375)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Jack - You're right on both counts. Now the women, though...that's fascinating! I wonder if it's all part of some alien plot...or maybe Clinton and Shatner were establishing diplomatic contacts with the Galactic Federation on behalf of the human race. If so, they have rendered us all an inestimable service. The general public, of course, is still not ready for such a quantum leap in perception, but time will change that, I'm sure.

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 01:14 AM (#730377)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

All I can say about Clinton's women is "better him than me." (((Shudder)))


15 Jun 02 - 01:17 AM (#730379)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

LOL! I have to admit I had the same reaction.

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 01:23 AM (#730381)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

Well, I had hoped we could keep the election campaign above the level of mere personal attack and innuendo, but it appears the pro-Shatner conclave will stoop to any level to achieve Iconhood. I mean, its a traditional music forum. If we wanted to choose an egotistical, irritating guy, what's wrong with Glen Yarborough? I mean, what are the qualifications here? Who's next? Carrot Top?

Anyway, due in part to Little Hawk's rather existential argument that because Shatner is so little deserving of icon status that his very lack of eligibility somehow has bestowed icon status on him, the race has tightened. It is now 8 votes for No Shatner, 5 for Yes Shatner, and 1 for Maybe Shatner. I want to also point out that I have neither voted nor voiced a preference, which speaks to my obvious objectivity in the matter.


15 Jun 02 - 01:24 AM (#730382)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: wysiwyg

Yeah but Shatner's women were all virgins, whereas Clinton's obiviously warn't. Bill never swore to go where no man had gone before.

~S~


15 Jun 02 - 01:35 AM (#730389)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

Lonesome Lonesome lonesome

Every post on this thread is further evidence of his Iconiveness. You are trying to stop the tides. Would you pull down the moon from her lofty path as you are trying to discredit his Shatnerness. Let me point out that while he may not be quite as large as the moon he is certianly approaching the same shape!


15 Jun 02 - 05:44 AM (#730422)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: gnu

Laughing AND crying, I have no choice but to vote #1. Bill has boldly made a pile of money going where noone else would dare go. And he's got nice horses.


15 Jun 02 - 09:46 AM (#730470)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: artbrooks

How many votes does LH get, anyway??


15 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM (#730580)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

I get one vote, like anyone else, but the Great Shatner hardly needs my endorsement, as he has already achieved thespian immortality without it.

Interesting point about the virgins, Susan! Bill Clinton obviously likes 'em more experienced, but this proves that Shatner edges out Clinton in the seduction department, which is pretty darned impressive.

It's a pity that Mr. Shatner could not have secured dual Canadian/American citizenship...and then become President Shatner! Man, just think about it...the inaugural address:

"My...fellow Americans...and Canadians too... We...are...at the crossroads! My...administration...hereby swears (looks around firmly and meaningfully)...to boldly go...where no administration...has ever gone before!"

Music: Doo..doo...doo, doo, doo, doo, doo....

Hail to the Chief!

- LH


15 Jun 02 - 03:28 PM (#730595)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

Shatner would make a fine president. But for that to happen, Canada, or Montreal would have to merge with the USA. A U.S. president minimally has to be over 35 and BORN here.


15 Jun 02 - 03:40 PM (#730598)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Tweed

I'd like to propose that the entire continent unites into the Federation of North America with Shatner at the helm. The King of All Actors could do no worse than George W., (can't say much about the Canadian PM as he doesn't get much press coverage down this way), and would elevate the fine art of lying on television to an entertaining art form.


15 Jun 02 - 04:59 PM (#730629)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: allanwill

I'd like to lead the Australian contingent by voting No.1, if only for the fact that these threads make great reading.

And Little Hawk - don't let them do a Florida on you by "manipulating" the result of this election.

Allan


15 Jun 02 - 05:17 PM (#730633)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

The Shatner issue has tightened up to the point where we have again put it back in the Undecided Category. Shatner is showing amazing resilience, and what appeared initially to be an outright attempt to tar-and-feather the Shatman and run him out of the Forum on a rail has begun to falter in the face of avid support from die-hard Shatnites. Despite surfacing rumors that Shatner may have been a Communist Party member in the late 50s and may have personally participated in the violent repression against the Hungarian Revolution (thus far unsubstantiated), the vote has narrowed to 8 No Shatnonsense, 7 Yes Shatneritis, 1 Maybe Shatninski.


15 Jun 02 - 09:11 PM (#730708)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: AliUK

Just Canada and the U.S? Hell I'd make him president of the whole planet. I mean...given the fact that he had to put up with a manic depressive ships doctor, an anally retentive half-vulcan, a drunken scotsman and a psycotic japanese, he should do well at pulling the races together. Not to mention the fact that the next time there's an earthquake somewhere in the world, no one need to suffer because they'd only be leaning side-to-side and bac-and-forward really. He also got to snog Nichelle Nichols as well...lucky sonovagun.


15 Jun 02 - 10:42 PM (#730732)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: catspaw49

Actually Leej, Shatner left the Communist Party in a huff (a nice 2-door hardtop Huff) when he felt he'd been duped because there was neither ballons nor ice cream and no party games to speak of. As to the situation with Hungary, he completely duffed that one too thinking it had something to do with being hungry...and gawd knows the little porker can eat! It was when he was angered because there was no food that he again let his temper get the best of him...literally, because as he left a planning meeting complaining bitterly about the lack of goulash, his cock and balls were severed by the door of a freight elevator. His original equipment was lost down the shaft and buried in the grease, cigar butts, and Twinkie wrappers below, so doctors gave him a new set consisting of a dessicated gherkin and two raisins.

Say, the rail thing gives me an idea! What say we let the little, fat, broke-dick, motherfucker, stay and we can permanently affix the crack of his ass to a rail and whack him back and forth between two cactus plants when things are dull?

Spaw


15 Jun 02 - 11:50 PM (#730765)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Joe Offer


Previous Shatner Threads (click) (please do not refresh them)


16 Jun 02 - 12:21 AM (#730774)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Celtic Soul

I'll take door #4, Monty!

"I don't really much care one way or the other, you guys do what makes you happy"


16 Jun 02 - 12:37 AM (#730778)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Tweed

Dammit Spaw, you been saving up for the big one all this time ain'tcha? I damn near choked to death on a chocolate chip reading your vivid account of Shatner's vivisection. Help me..Help..!!!


16 Jun 02 - 01:30 AM (#730796)
Subject: RE: BS: Tired of Shatner
From: GUEST

Try again


16 Jun 02 - 01:31 AM (#730797)
Subject: RE: BS: William Shatner scores BIG!!!
From: GUEST

Refresh for Voting


16 Jun 02 - 01:32 AM (#730798)
Subject: RE: BS: We Have Shatnerization!!!
From: GUEST

This is true

Previous Shatner Threads (click) (please do not refresh them)


16 Jun 02 - 02:09 AM (#730807)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,Jim Jones

The entire idea of 'voting' for something to become iconic is very bizarre...


16 Jun 02 - 03:19 AM (#730816)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: C-flat

At this point Spock would raise one eyebrow and utter the immortal line........"Fascinating". The great Shat-man gets my vote!


16 Jun 02 - 05:12 AM (#730841)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

DADA DADA DADA DADA DADA Shat man! Shat Man!


16 Jun 02 - 07:47 AM (#730865)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: gnu

".... would elevate the fine art of lying on television to an entertaining art form." Apparently, you haven't witnessed the present Canadian Prime Minister in action.


16 Jun 02 - 07:53 AM (#730869)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

HuWat are you talikin habout dere mister ganu person? Just cause Hi Ham talikng true da side of my mout don be hamakin me ha liar.

J. C.


16 Jun 02 - 08:15 AM (#730877)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: DMcG

Looks like Guest is going to spend the next few days pulling all the Shatner threads to the top. Let's not encourage him/her, folks.


16 Jun 02 - 10:40 AM (#730919)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: artbrooks

Perhaps we should begin a new vote, that would propose that any thread originating from Little Hawk containing the name "Shatner" or any ungrammatical version of that name be automatically blocked? Nah...think of all of the fun we'd miss making fun of the poor guy and his unfortunate fixation.


16 Jun 02 - 07:07 PM (#731115)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

But Art...I did not start this thread! LEJ started it. Oh, the unfairness and ingratitude of it all! You guys are just crabby cos Shatner is coasting triumphantly to victory...

- LH


16 Jun 02 - 07:11 PM (#731117)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

While I am no fan of Shatner's he does amuse me greatly. If need be I would start the threads and fill the breach!

I think the school for bad acting is as least as important and as funny as that silly Neil Young center.


17 Jun 02 - 12:20 AM (#731237)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

That is very perceptive of you, Jack. There are far too many schools in this world trying to turn out good acting, and failing miserably. It's time that really BAD acting got the respect it deserves, and became a recognized artform in its own right. I say let's do away with mere mediocrity, which is soooo common in big budget Hollywood films these days, and go for the absolute pits! The WSSBA has a mission to fulfill, and we intend to do our utmost to do it to the nines.

Sad to say, the NYCFTTS is slowly fading into obsolescence, just like it's namesake...but BAAAAD acting will never lose its ability to entertain and fascinate people.

We will shortly be adding a visitors' wing to the Orillia campus, and I hope to provide pictures of it any time soon.

- LH


17 Jun 02 - 12:05 PM (#731478)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

I don't know about old Neil fading into obsolescence. He did, after all record Prarie Town with the incomparable Randy Bachman.


17 Jun 02 - 01:55 PM (#731539)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Amos

3

3

3

3

3

3

3

3

3

Regards,

A


17 Jun 02 - 02:02 PM (#731546)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: AliUK

Oh you poor people that do not bow down to the greatness that is William Shatner. His sweaty browed procrastinations and his manly posturing are enough to win accolades in whatever quadrant of the galaxy he happens to be in. Marvel at the stupendousness that is T.J.Hooker, wonder at the ghost-written genius of TEK. How can you not vote him in as an official ICON?


17 Jun 02 - 02:58 PM (#731581)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Indeed. The mind boggles. Alas, our world is riddled with Philistines and terminally insensitive types who do not appreciate true greatness. Fortunately, many of them are consigned to the dingy halls of the NYCFTTF, from whence it is doubtless they will ever again emerge...

- LH


17 Jun 02 - 03:13 PM (#731592)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,The Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Club

It's Shatner all the way with us, man!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

HE'S NUMBER 1...HEY!!!

SHATNER! SHATNER! SHATNER! SHATNER!

GO BILL GO!!!!!!!!

- the Leafs (the manager, the players, the players' families, and the manager's dog)


17 Jun 02 - 03:45 PM (#731621)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: AliUK

Do we count the votes of the Maple Leafs ( or is that leaves?)as one or individually? I say individually...YES Shatner is official!!!


17 Jun 02 - 03:57 PM (#731628)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

Of course Canadiens are Shatner fans living in Montreal and all


17 Jun 02 - 04:39 PM (#731649)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,Big Jacques from Trois-Riviere

Absolutment! Les Canadiens are plain cra-ZEE about Le Shatner. As a matter of fac', dey t'ink he oughta be de Prime Mini-STER of dis damn contreee, instead of dat tabernac son-of-a-couchon, Jean Chretien!

- LH


17 Jun 02 - 08:01 PM (#731792)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

Amos, silly, you don't get one vote per finger. You just get one vote.


17 Jun 02 - 10:40 PM (#731906)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Specially if it's the middle finger, Amos! Nasty, nasty...

You Americans wouldn't complain about Bush, Dole, and all the others so much if you had had a few years with Jean Chretien at the helm, believe you me! (For those who don't know, he's Canada's Prime Minister...but he acts more like its emperor for life.)

- LH


17 Jun 02 - 10:44 PM (#731911)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

So what do you think about Paul Martin, LH? Think he'll be Chretien's successor? And if so, do you think he'll be any better than Chretien?


17 Jun 02 - 11:21 PM (#731929)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Well, I'm no huge fan of Paul Martin's, but I have nothing against him either. I think he would be an improvement over Chretien, yes. Chretien is a very clever political survivor...but he's also a bully and an opportunist with the scruples of a gangster, as far as I'm concerned.

Politics in this country is mostly a farce, but it is amusing, anyway...

- LH


17 Jun 02 - 11:30 PM (#731935)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

Canadian "Emperor" prime ministers generally poison the well for their party when they leave. Trudeau did it, Mulroony did it. Chretien's successor probably won't be a Liberal.


17 Jun 02 - 11:49 PM (#731949)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

Do any of the other parties have any viable candidates?


17 Jun 02 - 11:56 PM (#731954)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,ozmacca

Hey Hawk, politics in every country is a farce. Just be grateful that in your country it's at least funny! Most places (downunder for example) it's too damned ludicrous to laugh at, but too dumb to disbelieve.


18 Jun 02 - 12:30 PM (#732261)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

I believe you, ozmacca.

Carol - The other parties do not necessarily have what I would call very viable candidates...but that is not the real problem here. The problem is that the Conservative Party fell apart after Mulroney, and fractured into 2 parties, neither of which is capable of winning a national election.

Since political parties are like people, and don't wish to go quietly into that good night and exit the stage, those 2 parties are each insisting on maintaining their own existence at the cost of the other...but neither one can command enough votes to defeat the ruling Liberals.

The only thing that could change this situation is if the Liberals themselves fragment into 2 separate parties...and they just might, if Chretien and Martin get in a dirty enough fight with each other.

Then it would be up for grabs.

The other thing that could be done is to unite the Conservaties and the Canadian Alliance into a single conservative party...but that has been attempted several times already, with complete failure.

At this point, only Jean Chretien can cause the Liberals to lose a national election, and only if he destroys his own ruling party some time BEFORE that election takes place.

Truly bizarre, eh? We should maybe put this on another thread, don'tcha think? :-) The anti-Shatner campaign has clearly fallen apart and retired to lick their wounds, since they have realized by now that even mentioning his name on this forum is fatal to their cause...

- LH


18 Jun 02 - 12:56 PM (#732289)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Amos

Shatner's only claim to iconhood in these parts is perhaps as the Icon of Wasted Bandwidth and Sorry-Ass Irrelevance!! If we can agree on that label I will change all eleven of my midfdle finger votes!

A


18 Jun 02 - 02:58 PM (#732365)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

The official Icon of Wasted Bandwidth and Sorry-Ass Irrelevance? Well, why not? Sounds good to me. Bill's not proud.

Well, actually, he is...

But...he's not so proud as...to pass up...an opportunity like that. Call it fame...or call it notoriety, it's still better than...being totally unacknowledged.

Warp 6, Mr. Sulu!

- LH


18 Jun 02 - 11:09 PM (#732681)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: khandu

DAMMIT TO HELL! I MISSED THIS THRED AND DID NOT CAST MY VOTE>>>DAMMIT>>>DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!

bTW...I am pro-Shatner as Mudcat Icon!


19 Jun 02 - 12:03 AM (#732697)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Yes, I was wondering where you were...don't fret, it's never too late to vote for Big Bill.

- LH


19 Jun 02 - 12:29 AM (#732706)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: khandu

Thanks be to Little Hawk for his informing me by PM of this grand event. I have been away for several days, else I would have been right up there at the top, giving my eloquent support for the Great Man, Mr. William Shatner!

Truly, there is none more deserving of this honor than this fine specimen of manliness. IMO, to make the Great Man a Mudcat Icon will be beneficial to the Mudcat Cafe. People who have laughed at and mocked us would begin to take us seriously. We would see the number of "hits" per month double, even triple. Our membership will increase dramatically and we will be inspired with "new blood" flowing in the Mudcat veins. No longer will we have to resort to Spaw's incessant posting of the "Ode to Billy Joe" origin as our entertainment. Our despicable, un-named "guests" will gladly make their names known and change their whole stinking attitudes. They will be proud to be a part of the Mudcat Cafe. Trolls and Flamers will run to other websites, avoiding the new aura of the Cafe, which will have become "holy ground"!

This may be the start of something big!!

khandu


19 Jun 02 - 12:38 AM (#732711)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle

17 posts by Little Hawk
07 posts by Lonesome EJ
03 posts by mousethief
03 posts by Katlaugher
03 posts by anonymous Guest

ALL TOGETHER NOW...let us sing

INCEST IS BEST, BOYS, INCEST IS BEST
I'd rather play with myself, wank myself away, from the rest.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle


19 Jun 02 - 01:09 AM (#732721)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Lonesome EJ

Of course, that still leaves 55 other posts, if you include the one by you,g.

I actually started this because I have become SICK to DEATH of SHATNER, and had hopes of voting any mention of him off. Now I see the light. I have only boosted his image in the minds of many. I however, am taking the following pledge...

I, name here, promise that I will never post the name Shatner in this Forum, nor will I post to any thread containing the word Shatner in its title, from this moment forward to the end of the world.

I urge the rest of you to do the same.

Lonesome EJ


19 Jun 02 - 01:12 AM (#732722)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: CarolC

Instant karma's a bugger init?

*g*


27 Jun 02 - 01:34 AM (#737953)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST

It is my humble and honest opinion that Little E.J. is a major JERK for ever starting such a thread that has created this monsterous bombasity


27 Jun 02 - 09:50 AM (#738121)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Damn right, GUEST! "Monsterous bombasity" must not be tolerated! I was so disgusted when I saw this stupid thread appear yet again. You have a lot to answer for. I hope that other GUESTs will have the common sense and decency not to ever again revive this thread and encourage that jerk, Little E.J. He should be put through a trash compactor.

- LH


28 Jun 02 - 05:12 AM (#738738)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Jack the Sailor

LH

two words

Minority government

Block Quebecois

Deciding vote

National Nightmare

Thanks Jean


28 Jun 02 - 12:20 PM (#738910)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Little Hawk

Jack -

One word...

OUCH!!!

- LH


03 Jul 02 - 01:35 AM (#741178)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST

YES


03 Jul 02 - 08:54 PM (#741862)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST

NO


13 Jul 02 - 03:08 AM (#747588)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: GUEST,Marvin

Who is William Shatner?


13 Jul 02 - 05:40 PM (#747759)
Subject: RE: BS: Shatner Mudcat Icon? Vote Here!
From: Kaleea

shatner who?