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BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???

23 Jun 02 - 03:12 PM (#735274)
Subject: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

This being the week that we are celebrating DON FIRTH'S 71st birthday, I'm suggesting that we give him the honorary title as "THE MAYOR OF MUDCAT!" For justification, I need only suggest that you look at what he posted on the "NAKED BICYCLE RIDER" thread. If you need any further evidence of his crimes, take a look back in history at the "TALES OF WALT ROBERTSON" thread. Whatcha' think? Bob(deckman)Nelson


23 Jun 02 - 03:24 PM (#735286)
Subject: RE: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: wysiwyg

Haven't read them, but since I missed the birthday party, I'll vote anyhow. Don Firth is OK in my book!

~S~


23 Jun 02 - 03:31 PM (#735288)
Subject: RE: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: fat B****rd

Sounds good to me.Why not ??


23 Jun 02 - 03:49 PM (#735295)
Subject: RE: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: SINSULL

Haven't checked into the Naked Bicyclist Thread. I will have to let you know...


23 Jun 02 - 03:56 PM (#735300)
Subject: RE: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: SINSULL

OK. He's got my vote. But what is he going to do about taxes?


23 Jun 02 - 04:16 PM (#735312)
Subject: RE: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Don Firth

What am I going to do about Texas? Now that's a hard one. . . .

Well, Gee! I'm not sure what all the office entails, but I'm trying to remember some of the policies advocated by Utah Philips back when he was running for president. They sounded pretty good to me than and they sound pretty good to me now. Until I thoroughly investigate the matter and prepare for any upcoming press conferences, I can state that after careful study of the photo of Armen Napoleon Stepanian, the Mayor of Fremont, I believe I can do pretty much fulfill the duties that he seems to be fulfilling.

Although it's been years since I sat on a curb with a bunch of stoned people. . . .

Don Firth


23 Jun 02 - 05:27 PM (#735341)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

Keep that up Don, and I'll withdraw my nomination! Bob


23 Jun 02 - 05:29 PM (#735342)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: old moose

Taxes don't worry me.I'm applying for senior citizens exemptions any way.I'm in favor of a mayor that calls no meetings and levies no taxes and is in favor of free beer. Ale too, if available.


23 Jun 02 - 06:58 PM (#735391)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: RichM

Naked bike riders? Ouch.... Not the sight, but the feel...

Rich McCarthy


23 Jun 02 - 08:12 PM (#735437)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: rangeroger

Don, if you are going to follow in Utah Phillips steps, then you must promise to do absolitely NOTHING if elected.

Except, of course, siting around drinking beer, scratching your balls, and belching.

rr


23 Jun 02 - 08:58 PM (#735451)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Bill D

Mayor?...we need a dog catcatcher first...*grin*...but maybe Don can appoint one...


23 Jun 02 - 09:43 PM (#735468)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

I think we need a campaign song! Bob


23 Jun 02 - 09:44 PM (#735469)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

... and being a DECK BUILDER, I can probably help with the platform! (hee hee) Bob(deckman)Nelson


23 Jun 02 - 11:07 PM (#735501)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Don Firth

As I recall, Utah Philips said that he would put a pool table in the Oval Office, and other than that, it was as rangeroger outlined it. It works for me. . . .

I firmly believe that in the principle that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, get someone who knows what they're doing and stay the hell out of the way while they fix it. When I was younger, people often told me that I should work hard and try to realize my full potential. Then it occurred to me that there were two possible problems with that idea. First, what if I don't have any potential? And second, if I do have a lot of potential and I go ahead and realize it, it would really cut into my sittin' around time.

Those who are familiar with him will understand when I say that I regard Onslow as my role model. It is these virtues that I plan to bring to office.

Don Firth


23 Jun 02 - 11:35 PM (#735512)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

O.K. I'll bite! Who is "Onslow", (asked Bob full of fear and trepidation)?


24 Jun 02 - 12:03 AM (#735521)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

HMMMMM? We've got a candidate. A platform in progress. Maybe a campaign song soon. Seems we need a campaign chairman. I suppose we'd really get in trouble if you mentioned the TROLL again! I can see it now ... DON FIRTH FOR MAYOR! CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN... THE FREMONT TROLL! oh never mind.


24 Jun 02 - 12:28 PM (#735797)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Don Firth

By way of explanation:-- Onslow is a character in the Britcom "Keeping Up Appearances." He's Hyacinth's Bucket's (pronounce, she insists, "bouquet") brother-in-law. He occupies most of his time sitting in front of a TV set. His wardrobe consists of a nondescript pair of pants, a sweaty undershirt, and a baseball cap. When he moves, it's usually to scratch his ample belly or to take another swig from his can of beer, or (if he's feeling energetic) to reach forward and change the channel. Main vocalizations consist of "Oh, nice!" when something happens that he doesn't like, such as learning that Hyacinth is going to drop by; or "Daisy, bring me a beer!" Famous quote: after uttering the latter cry several times without result, he says, "Here I am! Completely surrounded by no beer!!!"

It is often said of Onslow that he is "bone idle." I feel that this should be the state of every politician. That way, there will be fewer foul-ups in the world, and those who know what they're doing can get on with doing what needs to be done.

Don Firth


24 Jun 02 - 03:01 PM (#735929)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

So ... are you going to declare a party affiliation? Bob


24 Jun 02 - 03:16 PM (#735938)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: alanabit

So far so good with the manifesto Don, but one small thing has been nagging at my mind. At one General Election in the past, the British Official Monster Raving Loony Party (they could only be Brits) declared that if elected, they would raise the age of consent for sexual intercourse to sixty-five. Now before you get my vote, I want confirmation that you won't be taking that policy on board.


24 Jun 02 - 03:59 PM (#735969)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

... gives new meaning to the phrase ... "keep a stiff upper lip! Oh well. Bob


24 Jun 02 - 04:43 PM (#735996)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: SINSULL

Give Onslow his due. In order to change the channel he has to slam on the top of the TV. A lot of effort there.


24 Jun 02 - 04:48 PM (#736000)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: MMario

And I have seen him open his own beer. How much effort do you guys want someone to put forth?


24 Jun 02 - 04:50 PM (#736004)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Don Firth

Wow, alanabit! I'd like to see 'em try to enforce that one! Nope, no blue laws under my administration. I do suggest, however, that you don't do anything to frighten the horses—unless it's horses that you fancy, in which case, you're on your own.

Party affiliation. . . . Hmm. Probably the Inertia Party. Their motto is, "You only go around once in life, so get all the rest you can." Sounds good to me. . . .

Don Firth


24 Jun 02 - 04:54 PM (#736007)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

QUOTE ... " How much effort do you guys want someone to put forth?" We've often referred to Don as the "Firth of Forth!" (Oh, never mind) Bob (what untill you folks hear about the birthday cake Bride Judy ordered today).


25 Jun 02 - 01:45 AM (#736302)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Don Firth

I dunno about this . . . Bob's startin' to scare me. . . .

Don Firth


25 Jun 02 - 01:52 AM (#736307)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: Deckman

What the heck are you doing up so late? ... truth be known ... I've scared you for years! CHEERS, Bob


25 Jun 02 - 04:25 AM (#736341)
Subject: RE: BS: DON FIRTH... Mayor of Mudcat???
From: alanabit

Right Don, you've got my vote and I'll buy you a pint at the victory celebrations!