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13 May 98 - 07:48 PM (#28217) Subject: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Helen Hi all, I was asked by a friend of mine to find the lyrics, and hopefully the MIDI of the old vaudeville or music hall song called "When father papered the parlour". I've done searches in numerous combinations on the net but I can't find anything from that era. BTW, it tickles my funny bone that the "oldies but goodies" sites refer to 50's rock 'n' roll - am I getting *that* old? :-( So does anyone know the words or where I can find words and/or MIDI files, or sites which refer to songs from this time? All I remember of it is the first couple of lines: When father papered the parlour you couldn't see Pa for paste, Paper here, paper there, bleeding (?) paper everywhere etc It goes on to say that he papered the cat to the wall, and couldn't find the doors or something. Thanx in advance for any help. Helen |
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14 May 98 - 05:41 AM (#28270) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Joe Offer Well, Helen, I found a cassette recording of the song at Folk-Legacy Records (click here), 1-800-836-0901. The album is by David Jones, SONGS OF EXQUISITE TASTE - #C-564. Folk Legacy has all sorts of wonderful stuff, and they're about the nicest people you could ever want to do business with. Their "Golden Ring" and Bok-Muir-Trickett CD's are really good. Hope that helps. -Joe Offer- |
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14 May 98 - 06:04 AM (#28272) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Joe Offer I found this in a Dejanews search: And just so that you only have one lot of lines running endlessly through your steely-sharp mind, here is what I remember about Father papering the parlour: When Father papered the Parlour You couldn't see Pa for paint. Slapping it here, slapping it there, Paint and paper everywhere. Mother was stuck to the ceiling, The kids were stuck to the floor, You never saw a whole darn family So stuck up before! It was a popular Victorian Music Hall song. -Joe Offer- |
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14 May 98 - 07:02 AM (#28274) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: dulcimer My parents knew only one verse--
When father paper the parlour |
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14 May 98 - 01:21 PM (#28322) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: rechal I know two versions of this ditty. This first one is on a Sharon, Lois, and Bram record:
CHORUS
Our parlor wanted papering CHORUS
We're never going to move away CHORUS And here's another:
When Papa put the paper on the wall
When Papa put the paper on the wall |
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14 May 98 - 04:22 PM (#28346) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Joe Offer Hmmmm. It would take a song like this to bring Rechal out of lurkdom. How the heck are ya, Rechal? -Joe Offer- |
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14 May 98 - 07:12 PM (#28363) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Susan of DT In one verse even the piano was papered over and lost. Could that be what's missing in the third verse? |
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14 May 98 - 07:50 PM (#28364) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Helen Thanks everyone, I knew I could rely on you, even for a non-folk song. Susan, I think it's the cat which is papered to the wall. Helen |
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15 May 98 - 07:33 AM (#28397) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: alison Hi If you still need the tune I'll do it for you tomorrow. Slainte Alison |
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15 May 98 - 09:01 AM (#28403) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: alison Hi, Here's the tune... to the chorus bit anyway "When father papered......etc." In the UK we had a sitcom called "Brush strokes" about a painting and decorating firm. When the boss of the firm died... guess what they sang at his funeral... I admit they did sing it slowly... sounded good too. I'm not sure how the tune to the verse goes.
MIDI file: WHENFATH.MID Timebase: 480 Name: When father papered the parlour This program is worth the effort of learning it. To download the March 10 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here ABC format: X:1
Slainte alison |
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16 May 98 - 04:18 AM (#28499) Subject: Lyr/Tune Add: WHEN FATHER PAPERED THE PARLOUR From: Joe Offer Aha! Look what I found in the library!-Joe Offer- (from "Music Hall Song Book, by Peter Gammond, 1975) [Also, the sheet music can be seen at Indiana University--but it only shows verses 1-3.] WHEN FATHER PAPERED THE PARLOUR "Written and composed by Weston and Barnes" [R. P. Weston (1878-1936) and Fred J. Barnes (1873-1917)] Copyright by Francis, Day & Hunter, Ltd., 1909. 1. Our parlor wanted papering, and Pa said it was waste To call a paperhanger in, and so he made some paste. He bought some rolls of paper, got a ladder and a brush, And with my mummy's nightgown on, at it he made a rush. CHORUS: When Father papered the parlour2. The pattern was 'blue roses' with its leaves red, white, and brown; He'd stuck it wrong way up and now, we all walk upside down. And when he trimm'd the edging off the paper with the shears, The cat got underneath it, and Dad cut off both its ears. CHORUS 3. Soon dad fell down the stairs and dropp'd his paperhanger's can On little Henrietta sitting there with her young man, The paste stuck them together, as we thought 'twould be for life, We had to fetch the parson in to make them man and wife. CHORUS 4. We're never going to move away from that house any more For Father's gone and stuck the chairs and table to the floor, We can't find our piano, though it's broad and rather tall, We think that it's behind the paper Pa stuck on the wall. CHORUS 5. Now, Father's sticking in the pub, through treading in the paste, And all the family's so upset, they've all gone pasty faced. While Pa says, now that Ma has spread the news from north to south, He wishes he had dropped a blob of paste in Mother's mouth. CHORUS MIDI file: WHENFA~1.MID Timebase: 192 Name: When Father Papered the Parlour Text: By Weston and Barnes Copyright: Copyright © Francis, Day & Hunter, Ltd. Key: G TimeSig: 6/8 24 8 Start 0480 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 72 110 0160 0 72 000 0032 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 71 110 0448 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 76 110 0160 0 76 000 0032 1 76 110 0094 0 76 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 64 110 0448 0 64 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 69 110 0448 0 69 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 70 110 0094 0 70 000 0002 1 71 110 0448 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0256 0 71 000 0032 1 76 110 0160 0 76 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 76 110 0160 0 76 000 0032 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 71 110 0544 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 66 110 0256 0 66 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0256 0 64 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0256 0 71 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 66 110 0094 0 66 000 0002 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0256 0 71 000 0032 1 76 110 0160 0 76 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 72 110 0160 0 72 000 0032 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0448 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 76 110 0160 0 76 000 0032 1 76 110 0094 0 76 000 0002 1 74 110 0160 0 74 000 0032 1 74 110 0094 0 74 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 66 110 0160 0 66 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 64 110 0256 0 64 000 End This program is worth the effort of learning it. To download the March 10 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here ABC format: X:1 T:When Father Papered the Parlour M:6/8 Q:1/4=120 K:G B6|E2FG2A|B2BB2B|c2cG2G|B5B|e2ed2d|B2BA2A| G2EE2F|E5B|d2dd2B|d2dd2B|A2AA2B|A5B|d2dd2B| d2dd2B|G2GA2^A|B5B|E2FGAA|B3e2B|ccce2c|B6| BFFF3|BEEE3|G2EG2E|G2AB3|EEFGAA|B3e2B|c2ccGA| B5B|e2ed2d|B2BAGA|B2AF2G|E21/8|| (Now, the one I learned was the second one Rechal posted, WHEN PAPA PUT THE PAPER ON THE WALL. I'd sure like to see full lyrics and a MIDI for that one.) |
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16 May 98 - 11:48 AM (#28513) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Helen Ah, what can I say? You all amaze and delight me with your knowledge and resources. Thanks everyone. Helen |
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16 May 98 - 04:25 PM (#28536) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: Joe Offer Oh, by the way, the same songbook has the tune, lyrics, and verses for "I'm Henery the Eighth," also by Murray and Weston. I'll try to post it later. I always thought it was an original by Herman's Hermits. -Joe Offer- |
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17 May 98 - 02:13 AM (#28572) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: alison Hi, Thanks for the rest of the tune Joe. Slainte Alison |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:03 AM (#1255959) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,warrenyeend@hotmail.com my mother taught it to me this way. When papa put the paper on the wall. He put the parlour paper in the hall. He papered up the stairs, he papered all the chairs, He even put a border on grandma's shawl. But the ladder slipped and he began to fall. The pot of paste fell down upon us all. Like birds of a feather, we all stuck together. When papa put the paper on the wall. |
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25 Aug 04 - 10:29 PM (#1257007) Subject: RE: LYR REQ: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,Anne Croucher We had this on a record and an ancient wind up gramophone in the old family home - it vanished after my dad played it three times in a row the day my mum papered the back bedroom with a pretty trelis pattern with what should have been hanging baskets - except she put it on upside down. The paper was a good quality one and it stayed there for many years - and my brother told me it was a lot of work to get it scraped off - he had to do it as he was the last one at home. The day after the last of the paper was removed he found the record. Anne |
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17 Feb 05 - 12:17 AM (#1412682) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,GUEST Kim Jobe I, too, learned it as "When Papa put the paper on the wall" and was looking for an author/date for this version. What I learned from my dad (now deceased): When papa put the paper on the wall He put the parlour paper in the hall He papered up the stairs Papered up the chairs He even put a border on grandma's shawl. When papa put the paper on the wall He spilled a pot of paste upon us all So we all stick together Like birds of a feather Since papa put the paper on the wall! (My five-year-old loves it!) |
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17 Feb 05 - 03:01 PM (#1413199) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: Billy Weeks Not Victorian, Joe, but Edwardian. Oh, sorry,I forgot. You gave up on kings and queens, didn't you? The original singer of 'When father etc' was Billy Williams, an Australian music hall star, who recorded it more times than was entirely reasonable. |
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19 Feb 06 - 07:45 PM (#1673343) Subject: Lyr Add: WHEN FATHER PAPERED THE PARLOUR (Williams From: GUEST,Alex Skerritt Ah, my dear fellows, I like the original music hall version to be the best. Recorded 1911, Sung by: Billy Williams, Composer: Barnes & Weston [Spoken]: Father papered the parlour but he'd no right to do so! Ha, ha, ha! [Spoken]: de di dum da dadada da, ha, ha, ha, ha! [Sung]: Our parlour wanted papering and Pa says it was waste To call the paperhangers in and so he made some paste. He got some rolls of paper, a ladder and a brush And with me mother's night-gown on, at it he made a rush. CHORUS: When father papered the parlour, you couldn't see Pa for paste. Dabbing it here and dabbing it there! There was paste and paper everywhere! Mother was stuck to the ceiling and the kids were stuck to the floor. You never saw such a bloomin' family so stuck up before. [Spoken]: Dum did dum did dar dar, ha, ha, ha! What do you think of poor old father? Ha, ha, ha! Didly de di doh, ha, ha, ha! You never saw such a bloomin' fam'ly so stuck up before. La dar dum da da da da, that's the part I like, ha, ha, ha, ha! [Sung]: Soon dad fell down the stairs and dropped the paper-hanger's can On little sister Mary, sitting there with her young man. The paste stuck them together, as we thought 'twould be for life. We had to fetch the parson in and make them man and wife. CHORUS When father papered the parlour, you couldn't see Pa for paste Dabbin' it 'ere! [Spoken]: ha, ha, ha! There was paste all over him, ha, ha, ha! I say all over him! ha, ha, ha, ha! La dar dum di di di dye dye, ha, ha, ha, ha! We're never going to move away from that house any more. For father's gone and stuck the chairs and the tables to the floor. We can't find our piano though it's broad and rather tall. We think that it's behind the paper Pa stuck on the wall. CHORUS [Spoken]: Come on, form a set of lancers. Form top and bottom lines, ladies in the centre, gents in the centre, advance! Come on, mother! Don't stand there all night! we want to get the set over! Ha, ha, ha! Oh, dear old mother, come on, give us a kiss? You won't? All right, I'll go home to the wife, ha, ha, ha! |
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19 Feb 06 - 07:51 PM (#1673350) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,Alex Skerritt I'm Henry The Eighth - I Am Herman's Hermits (Murray/Weston) - written in 1911 - popularized in England by Harry Champion - I'm Henry the eighth, I will put the words on but there in cockney so it will take me time to type them. |
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19 Feb 06 - 07:56 PM (#1673356) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: The Fooles Troupe They are aleady here in another thread. |
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11 May 06 - 05:32 PM (#1738384) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When Father Papered the Parlour From: GUEST,moira.edge@btinternet .com hi, reading about billy williams was fascinating as growing up i recall the said record being played on an old gramaphone and another song about a cigarette, i was told he was our great grandfather, my family name was a bit of a mixture , tranter, spiby and bottomley, most of the elders are gone now but i would love to know if anyone can elaborate, fairly new on my laptop so dont know how to go about finding out....regards to all moira. |
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21 May 06 - 11:02 AM (#1744654) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When Father Papered the Parlour From: GUEST Here is the way I remember it: When Papa put the paper on the wall He put the parlor paper in the hall He papered up the stairs He papered up the chairs He even put papar on granma's shawl Well, the ladder slipped and Pop began to fall The pot of paste cam down upon us all And like birds of a feather We all stuck together When Papa put the paper on the wall. K. C. |
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13 Jan 09 - 12:17 PM (#2538841) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: Jim Dixon You can hear the recording by Billy Williams at the Internet Archive. |
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13 Jan 09 - 01:07 PM (#2538883) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,Ian I take on board the bit about Billy Williams, but I had it on sheet music as being written by Harry Champion, (who was also famous in his day for singing it.) Cosmotheka used to credit Harry Champion as well, (I think.) |
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13 Jan 09 - 03:14 PM (#2539030) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: BB According to 'Sing Us One of the Old Songs: A Guide to Popular Song 1860 - 1920', by Michael Kilgarriff, which is the bible for those wanting details on music hall songs, it was jointly written and composed by Fred J. Barnes and Robert P. Weston, published in 1909. Definitely in Billy Williams' repertoire - and not in Harry Champion's. Can't find anything about 'When Papa Put the Paper on the Wall', though. Barbara |
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13 Jan 09 - 07:24 PM (#2539214) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: topical tom One of the few songs my father would mention and sing, sort of! What treasures can be unearthed and revived on Mudcat! |
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03 Feb 09 - 08:34 PM (#2556648) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST im also a decendent from the bottomley family.the tale is billy williams changed his name to james william bottomley.married my great great gran and left her with 4 kids 2 bring up and ran off with a woman.im tryin to look into this but am at a dead end at the moment.one of his children was called mary elizabeth bottomley who is my great gran. |
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03 Feb 09 - 08:37 PM (#2556649) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When father papered the parlour From: GUEST,shirley moran. moira edge.if you read this please get in touch |
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05 Feb 11 - 02:18 PM (#3089319) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When Father Papered the Parlour (Williams From: GUEST,moira edge nee spiby to shirley moran, you can find me on facebook... my gran was called eliza bottomley and i heard the tale of billy williams too. xxxxx |
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24 Sep 16 - 05:20 AM (#3811069) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When Father Papered the Parlour (Williams From: GUEST to y'all, Some years back, I was performing this song a few times, and altered a couple of the verses by combination and a little up-dating, as well as adding a brand new verse to it. A couple of the originals were not particularly clever, I felt, and being a cat lover, I didn't like the cat losing its ears! I made the refrain run slightly differently too. Our parlour needed papering, and pa said it was waste to call a paper-'anger in and so he made some paste. He got some rolls of paper, got a ladder and a brush And wiv me mummy's nightgown on, at it he made a rush... When Farver papered the ceiling, you couldn't see pa for paste. Dashing it here, splashing it there, paste and paper everywhere. Muvver was stuck to the ceiling, the kids were stuck to the floor. You never seen a bloomin' family so stuck up before. The pattern was blue roses with its leaves red white and brahn. 'E hung it wrong way up, and now we all walk upside dahn. we cant find the pianna though it's broad and rarver tall. We fink that it's be'ind the paper, pa stuck on the wall. Refrain. We rushed into the parlour when we 'eard an eerie wail, and found the fam'ly cat stuck to the ceilin' by 'is tail. We couldn't fetch im down again, and though it looks all queer, We 'ave to feed old Tom 'is dinner, in the chandelier. Refrain. Soon pa fell down the stairs and dropped 'is paper hanger's can On little Henrietta sittin there with 'er young man. We found them stuck together, as we thought t'would be for life, We had to fetch the parson in to make 'em man and wife. (Slight pause while I got into a fit of chuckles) Refrain. Now Farver's stickin' in the pub through treadin' in the paste. And all the fam'ly's so upset, they're looking pasty faced. And Ma is damned, - 'er jaws are jammed together with the goo And Uncle Ned (slight pause here) 'is face is red, - 'e's stuck inside the loo! (break here while I had uncontrollable laughs, and pianist brings me back with a loud chord or two. Then I tried to start refrain again) Whe-e-e-en... (fit of laughter. Pianist tries again) When Farrrr... (further fit of laughter then I get through it, and sing the refrain in full, repeating last line 'You never seen ...' (etc slower for big finish, with burst of laughter.) I can assure you this version works very well indeed. Ron (Country Victoria, Australia.) |
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24 Sep 16 - 07:32 AM (#3811089) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: When Father Papered the Parlour (Williams From: GUEST,Clive Pownceby This song is in my orbit and gets an airing every now and again. An ailurophile, I do of course apologise when we get to the 'cat' verse! As a lad, I'd listen to the Billy Cotton Bandshow every Sunday lunchtime on the BBC Light Programme and 'Father papered etc.......' was a vocal feature for Alan Breeze one of Cotton's members. I'd look forward to hearing this on a fairly regular basis - these were of course simpler times!!!! |
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30 Dec 21 - 02:01 PM (#4130456) Subject: Lyr Add: WHEN FATHER PUT THE PAPER ON THE WALL From: Jim Dixon From the sheet music at York University, Toronto (Baylor University also has a copy): WHEN FATHER PUT THE PAPER ON THE WALL Words and music by Jack Mahoney; ©1924 by F. B. Haviland Pub. Co., New York. 1. When our rooms needed papering, Dad did the job up brown. He hung ten rolls but he forgot to take the pictures down. CHORUS 1: When Father put the paper on the wall, The poodle dog and the old tom cat beat it off to Montreal. 2. He splashed paste on the Morris chair where Sister’s beau was found. When he sat down that night, he said: “I think I’ll stick around.” CHORUS 2: When Father put the paper on the wall, It made us think of the fall of man when he slipped out in the hall. 3. Aunt Mary was stuck to a chair and mother to the floor. In all my life, I never saw such stuck-up folks before. CHORUS 3: When Father put the paper on the wall, He thought that he’d hang the border up, but it was Grandma’s new shawl. [EXTRA VERSES/CHORUSES:] 4. We missed the baby ‘round the house; she wasn’t in her chair. Dad said: “Look where the border’s torn; she’s hanging out up there.” 5. When Father reached the dining room, the curtain fell somehow. Dad used to be an actor, so he took another bow. 6. When uncle Bill came in for lunch, he ate until it hurt. He took a saucerful of paste and thought it was dessert. 7. The paper got all jumbled up; Dad made the scissors hum, And when he tried to hold a roll, poor father missed his thumb. 8. He cut the paper into bits; the wind began to blow. The janitor gave us some heat because it looked like snow. 9. Some union men told him to quit, or at him they would shoot, So Dad went in and changed his clothes and wore his union suit. 10. On top the ladder Father stood; two flappers said: “Ahem!” Dad missed his footing when he looked and then he fell for them. 11. Into the parlor father went to swing the brush and broom. He said: “This is the only time they let me in this room.” 12. The bedroom wall was papered with newspapers and he said He only did it just because he liked to read in bed. 13. “I’ll buy a bonnet,” Mother said; “The one I have is flat.” Dad threw the brush and said: “You won’t; now paste that in your hat.” 14. The bathtub Father papered, too; also the bathroom floor. He said: “I never knew that tub was in the house before.” 15. He tried to hang a smart design above the kitchen shelf. When his suspenders caught a nail, he nearly hanged himself. 16. A tramp said: “Please give me some bread; I am a hungry soul.” Dad said: “Just hold this paper up and I’ll give you a roll.” 17. Dad said that he’d sue for divorce, but Mother didn’t care. The ladder slipped and she was served with all the papers there. |