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14 Sep 02 - 05:00 PM (#784011) Subject: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Peter T. Well, no, not really, but according to a 1985 article in Pediatric Emergency Care (1:184) by R. Ruddy et al, that analyzed 250,000 furniture related injuries in the U.S. during 1983, fully 25% of these were caused by coffee tables. Most of the victims were children who sustained lacerations on the head and face from the sharp edges. (from an article by Harold Morawitz). yours, Peter T. (This is not related to Big Mick and his fight with the collapsing chair, the table was innocent, I tell you). |
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14 Sep 02 - 05:20 PM (#784023) Subject: RE: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Amos PT, old buddy, I think you need to go back to your writing, the point just before you started getting silly, and rework that part!! LOL!! I can assure you there are at least that many furniture related incidents not in the databases, due to misplaced masculine pride. These injuries were caused by highly volatile opinions about where chairs and pianos should be put; causing grievous harm to shoulders, atlas vertebrae, hip joints, and sacroiliacs in mature males between 35 and 65. Typical population was also white (57%), educated (74% were college graduates) and pussy-whpped (89%). Oddly enough in 62% of the cases surveyed, the offending object was restored to its original position after it had finished its dastardly work. Investigators, working for insurance companies, are preparing position papers on the possibility that claims should be denied as intentionally perpetrated by spousal beneficiaries. A |
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14 Sep 02 - 05:30 PM (#784031) Subject: RE: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: artbrooks Huuummm...are there statistics on the percentage caused by leaning back in swivel chairs while searching for the EXACT CORRECT next phrase for the paper you're writing? |
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14 Sep 02 - 05:49 PM (#784042) Subject: RE: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: catspaw49 Hey PT.....It's the little stuff that gets you everytime! A few years ago I read that one of the top reasons people got stitches at Emergency Rooms was from slicing bagels! True.....I'm not kidding! I had a friend who had a nasty one requiring about a dozen stitches from trying to slice the bagel with a butterknife!!! She was holding it in her hand and forcing the knife with so much pressure that she sliced through the skin at the base of the thumb. Spaw |
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14 Sep 02 - 06:11 PM (#784053) Subject: RE: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Liz the Squeak And let's not forget all those people who are injured by bed linen... there's a fair percentage of people who are put into hospital by the act of making a bed. Now you know why I don't do it. These duvets fight back you know! LTS |
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14 Sep 02 - 06:55 PM (#784090) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Gareth Errr - how many folkies does it take to change a ..... X - where X = A + B + C Proof A = 1 to do the job B = N to sing about how good the old ...... was C = N to post on how the the 'Cat isnt up to its old standard. Gareth - BG - |
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14 Sep 02 - 07:04 PM (#784096) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: X Do we need to put trigger locks on everything? |
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14 Sep 02 - 11:15 PM (#784185) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: GUEST,Katlinel One musn't forget the vacume cleaners that lurk on the floor at night, eager to attack and break the toes of anyone stumbling to the potty at night...viscious little creatures. (They've bitten me twice--you'd think I would learn my lesson. *lol*) |
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15 Sep 02 - 05:37 AM (#784255) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Liz the Squeak Ah, the shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark. Domestic animals put an astounding number of people into hospital every year too - I know, I was one of them! I fell over a dark cat in a dim corner and banged my head. Got 3 days with concussion for that one. And my new managers' wife has just got out of 8 weeks in plaster after falling over one of his cats.... again! And yes, it was the same leg. Not sure if it was the same cat, he has 2, I suspect they're taking turns. LTS |
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15 Sep 02 - 02:50 PM (#784513) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Catherine Jayne When I was 15 the sofa jumped out and attacked me pushing me over onto the floor where I banged me knee. I went to hospital because I couldn't move it to find out that the damn sofa had aided the lounge floor in breaking my kneecap.....ouch!!! Cat |
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15 Sep 02 - 04:07 PM (#784548) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Mooh Liz...I know! I once ruptured myself in my sleep by violently twisting in the sheets. It took a surgeon and a GP an eternity to set...um...things straight (I have kids to prove it). I sleep a little less athletically nowadays. I was alone, honest! (I try not to remember this), Mooh. |
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15 Sep 02 - 04:29 PM (#784563) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: jimmyt I recently heard, although I can't remember the exact number, about the number of people worldwide who die each year from falling coconuts, and it much higher than the number of people killed by sharks. Just goes to show you that you are safer in the water than walking on the beach! |
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15 Sep 02 - 05:38 PM (#784612) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Liz the Squeak JimmyT, Les Barker has written a poem about that very thing, the brown, hairy coconut bird. Mooh - I'm not laughing, honest... a friend of mine recently wrenched his shoulder badly enough to need physio on it... When asked what he was doing went bright red and mumbled something about falling off someone..... LTS |
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15 Sep 02 - 09:57 PM (#784793) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Stephen L. Rich All of this, of course, has been portrayed in the classic motion picture "Killer Coffee Tables From Outer Space". *G* |
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15 Sep 02 - 11:25 PM (#784841) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Steve Latimer My latest black eye was from a run in with the vacuum Cleaner. |
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16 Sep 02 - 12:19 AM (#784850) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: katlaughing They only came out at night Creepy, crawly on four legs It was a terrible sight Side-winding crabby chair and table. In innocence, bladder-wracked I sprang from my bed and ran To the loo, the door just cracked, I could see it, in reach, was almost there. They only came out at night Creepy, crawly on four legs It was a terrible sight Side-winding crabby chair and table. A sidle down the hallway Hard edge stuck out in my path Tangled legs will make me pay For the folly that was mine that night. They only came out at night Creepy, crawly on four legs It was a terrible sight Side-winding crabby chair and table. Now, I am bound in plaster Hobbling round, lights a'blazing With crutches that have casters, Crabby chair and table? Nailed down! They only came out at night Creepy, crawly on four legs It was a terrible sight Side-winding crabby chair and table. |
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16 Sep 02 - 01:08 AM (#784856) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Stephen L. Rich katlaughing -- That was wonderful. LOL |
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16 Sep 02 - 04:16 AM (#784904) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Catherine Jayne LOL Kat!!! |
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16 Sep 02 - 09:43 AM (#785060) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Peter T. They will get you for that kat yours, Peter T. |
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16 Sep 02 - 09:55 AM (#785066) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: SharonA Arrgh... I wish I could think of the actor's name... he was one of the 1950's teen-movie idols, and he died after falling in his home and hitting his head on his coffee table (I'm pretty sure that was the story). Does anyone else remember? |
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16 Sep 02 - 10:23 AM (#785089) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Giac A friend's daughter, son-in-law and small grandson lived with him for a time. All were sitting in the living room one evening when the toddler, ambling along, tripped and fell into the coffee table. Everyone consoled the child and talked about what a menace was a coffee table. The next evening the scenario was repeated and the baby had a large lump on his forehead. The grandfather, who had been nipping a bit, stood up, picked up the table and tossed it out the front door into the yard. Neighbors within eyesight peered through curtains as the wispy little man poured gasoline on the table and flung a match at it. As it raged, then burned to ashes, not one person, including the cop who lived directly across the street, came out to ask why. In the neighborhood, the incident became known as the Fiery Death of Carl's G.D. Coffee Table. ~:o) Mary |
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16 Sep 02 - 04:45 PM (#785412) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Liz the Squeak Wasn't it a coffee table that tried to get Dubya earlier this year? We shouldn't malign these creatures, they have their uses... maybe next time the coffee table will win.... (although in Florida it already did). LTS |
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16 Sep 02 - 05:37 PM (#785464) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: Mr Red occasional tables are the worst. As Les Barker so famously put it - occasionally they are chairs (etc etc) |
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16 Sep 02 - 08:27 PM (#785600) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: X SharonA: You speak of William Holden. |
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17 Sep 02 - 04:51 PM (#786122) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: SharonA Thanks very much, Banjoest. I hadn't been able to think of his name until you posted. Now I can finally sleep tonight! *BG* |
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17 Sep 02 - 05:50 PM (#786164) Subject: RE: BS: Coffee Tables That Kill!! From: X You're welcomed; He and his wife, (girlfriend) Stephanie Powers were at their African ranch when it happened. |