|
07 Oct 02 - 09:26 AM (#798264) Subject: BS: misfortunes From: GUEST,Fred Miller I need help writing a batch of one-line misfortunes in a fortune-cookie format. My daughter started it last year for a party, and we had a bunch, but cant find them, and I only remember a couple. Hers, which set the standard, was A man who eats cream-corn with his mouth open will have a crush on you. Four adults' combined efforts never surpassed that one, we came up with things like You will be famous for less than 15 minutes, but nothing so vividly dreadful as her first one. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 09:39 AM (#798270) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Sorcha Man who flies face down has crack-up. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 09:52 AM (#798274) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Amos You will live in unintersting times, amongst those responsibles. Your relatives will expect you to pay them. You will fall in love with someone from a different species. A |
|
07 Oct 02 - 10:12 AM (#798281) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Micca Speak your weight machines will offer you a refund Just when you think things cannot get worse you will step in something. Elephants may become friendly and rub against you. You will develope a taste for lilac velvet furnishings.. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 10:57 AM (#798304) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: mack/misophist Your dog will become embarassed in your presence. Skunks find your scent attractive. Your picture is on a milk carton and people draw mustaches on it. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 01:11 PM (#798351) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Morticia Even children of five will not find you funny You will fall for an itinerant bodrhan player Your dental hygenist tells you nothing more can be done |
|
07 Oct 02 - 01:16 PM (#798352) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Don Firth Congratulations! You now have the Asian flu. Your fly is open. Be careful! Your spouse knows! |
|
07 Oct 02 - 01:23 PM (#798356) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Doug Chadwick If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 01:23 PM (#798357) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Liz the Squeak That wasn't chicken. You will meet a tall handsome stranger who will ignore you. The love of your life has already gone. You will take a long journey, the opposite way to your luggage. The Nirvana you seek is the one you left first. Life isn't too short to stuff mushrooms, unless you are stuffing a matress with them. Every silver lining has a cloud. He who laughs last didn't get the joke. The grass is greener on the otherside, but they have astroturf. LTS |
|
07 Oct 02 - 05:54 PM (#798491) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: GUEST,fred Miller Thanks yall. I came up with a few more. Your greatest acheivement will be in the field of Tidying Up. 70% of the fascinating information you've read is wrong. Everytime you reach back around to plug something in the prongs will be backwards. Something good is right around the corner and it will stay that way. You will realise too late that you were meant to be a rodeo clown. You'll never find the right haircut. |
|
07 Oct 02 - 06:16 PM (#798499) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: catspaw49 Man who bounce woman on bedspring, have off-spring, next Spring. Spaw |
|
08 Oct 02 - 12:27 AM (#798671) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Stephen L. Rich Do not remove this tag under penalty of law. The grass is always greener than its weakest link. |
|
08 Oct 02 - 08:59 AM (#798847) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: GUEST,Fred Miller You will be that guy who women's mothers nag them to marry. You will meet a tall dark strangler. You'll be held captive for years by a blind man who forces you to read Dickens to him. |
|
08 Oct 02 - 09:19 AM (#798859) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: Peter T. You are turning into the sort of person who seeks guidance from fortune cookies. Do not open this fortune cookie. Opening this fortune cookie will bring on terrible trouble. If you have broken it open to read this fortune, I pity you. Keep smiling, and make sure no one else can read this fortune. Now make up something that sounds like a fortune cookie fortune. Slowly get up from your chair, and say you have to go to the toilet. There is a back door exit to the restaurant just behind the men's washroom. Take it, go home, and forget that you ever knew the people you were with, what you ordered, and your waiter. They are already as good as dead. This is not a joke. yours, Peter T. |
|
08 Oct 02 - 09:28 AM (#798864) Subject: RE: BS: misfortunes From: GUEST,Fred Miller Ha! Made me think of one in that vein. Abandon all hope. If you have already abandoned all hope, disregard this notice. |