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BS: Rick Fielding for King?

09 Oct 02 - 10:46 AM (#799463)
Subject: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Morticia

I understand from the news that the Canadian Deputy Prez doesn't like our Madge(HRH Queen Elizabeth 2nd) and is proposing a Canadian figure of good upstanding and solid citizenry to be the head of state. He is alledgedly proposing Celine Dion which seems a bit harsh...what have nice, polite Canadians done to deserve that? I make a counter proposal of Rick, particularly having just got my grubby paws on "This One's a Dreamer". He may not be quite as solid or indeed upstanding....I wouldn't know, but he sure as hell has more talent.All those for the motion, say Aye.


09 Oct 02 - 10:52 AM (#799471)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Amos

Head of state? Rick? He can't keep people from collapse! Look what happened when Mick wandered into his jurisdiction!! Potholes!! You want an empire of potholes?

An the other hand, it would be a fun trip!!

Gets my vote. But...can you vote for a king? Seems improper, don't it?


A


09 Oct 02 - 11:13 AM (#799484)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: MMario

But if Rick becomes King of Cananda will he be allowed to come to the Getaway? Even if he comes incognito (I know...the getaway isn't held in cognito, it's in Silver Spring) there will still be all those security people.

Of course if one of the requirements for His Majesty's security is to play/sing folk music...hmmmmmmmmmmm


09 Oct 02 - 11:17 AM (#799486)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Fortunato

Alfred E. Newman for Pres, yes, but Brother Fielding for King? Morty what have you been smoking? Politicians are bad enough, but guitar players for heads of state! Jaasus Cockadoodle Christ, he'll fiddle fart around playing old Ernest Tubb tunes and forget to exorcize the troops, or worse yet, fail to wave mindlessly at his constipators.


09 Oct 02 - 11:20 AM (#799490)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Amos

Folkie Security agents? LOL!! Is that a twelve string in your case, big boy, or are you just looking out for my best interests? Interesting concept -- the Ovation as a lethal weapon. KungFu Harmonicas, capos with razor edges, electronic tuners with a built in .38... Oddjob's Banjo... you could really be onto something here, MM. A second income for those who don't want day jobs!


A


09 Oct 02 - 11:22 AM (#799492)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: MMario

Don't forget tha ttack capabilities of tiples and bodrhans!


09 Oct 02 - 11:34 AM (#799506)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Why stop with Canada? How'bout the whole continent? Relegate Dubya and Fox to figurehead status and give Fielding the true power. A Martin in every closet. Just be careful with those judicial appointments. Don't want anybody goin' to jail for playing a Gmaj7.


09 Oct 02 - 11:43 AM (#799517)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Dave Bryant

Perhaps we'll get kazoos banned under some Arms Limitation Treaty !


09 Oct 02 - 11:52 AM (#799525)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Little Hawk

If he were king, he would probably have a liberal expense account and would be able to purchase any number of rare old guitars...

Are you listening, Rick?

- LH


09 Oct 02 - 01:03 PM (#799578)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Jeri

I can see him using the "Hot Line" to call Bush pretending to be a guy who emigrated from Pakistan and is delivering pizzas in a nuclear sub.

"Mr President buddy, please to send a limo to the Ptomic, eh? I have your yardbird and jalepeno pizzas that you ordered from Congress Pizza here. If you don't hurry, they will either be very very very hot or all dried as we transport them in the reactor core. We are looking forward to seeing you, eh?"


09 Oct 02 - 01:25 PM (#799600)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Marion

King? I thought we were an anarcho-syndicalist commune.

Marion


09 Oct 02 - 01:31 PM (#799608)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Amos

SYndicated anarchy? Distributed by the authors through a complex of interconnected offices for publication in a well-established community of clients? How anarchic!! How oxymoronic!


A


09 Oct 02 - 01:31 PM (#799609)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: JedMarum

AYE!


09 Oct 02 - 01:43 PM (#799619)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Clinton Hammond

"The Lady Of Lake Ontario, Her arm clad in the purist shimmering faeces, thrust aloft "ExNosePicker" from the bosom of the water.. decreeing by divine providence that I, Rick, should be king"

"Look... strange women laying around in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government..."

Which is to say "Not on MY watch you won't..."

;-)


09 Oct 02 - 01:52 PM (#799624)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: GUEST

Can't happen. He's far too intelligent, doesn't suffer from inbreeeding or a public school education and doesn't enjoy killing animals for pleasure.


09 Oct 02 - 01:53 PM (#799627)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Fortunato

OK, HAMMOND, WHO CUT THE CLEASE?!?!


09 Oct 02 - 02:36 PM (#799660)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Jeri

King Rick Pantsdraggin and the Knights of the Oblong Table...or maybe it's kidney shaped. There's Sir Picksalot and G'won who is searching for the Holy Grail which for some mysterious reason is stamped "Martin."

Clinton, it's rare for me to guffaw hysterically these days, especially at things I read on the internet, and I didn't have that reaction to your post either. I snorted and giggled - then Fortunato got me again.

GUEST, I agree with you. He also hates authority which means he'd have a less than positive self-image if he were king. Or he'd be like King Richard the Lionhearted and spend a lot of times dressed in peasant clothes and playing music with the peasants in their homes and Ye Olde Music Shoppe... but he wouldn't play in Ye Olde Barres.


09 Oct 02 - 04:09 PM (#799748)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Rick Fielding

FOR FRIGGIN' SAKE!!

Here I was down the basement bevelling a new set of national fingerpicks (Yes, with my dremel) and I hear Heather upstairs chortling...an ugly sound at best, especially when she's chewing that Haggis flavoured gum at the same time!

"Better look at Mudcat" she says. Immediately I think, "My Gawd, what's happened? Has there been a new Poncho the Hearse thread9....Has Larry INOBU finally come to his senses and agreed with me in that notorious ten part thread.....has Peter T started wearing womens' clothes in public (or stopped...I forget which) .....has MTed shot one of his students for playing a bad F chord (no, that was me)....has Mudcat now become so user-friendly that it will take me another year to get used to it.....etc...etc. etc?

Well, lemme tell ya....Morticia, I'm afraid you're right. This dink of a cabinet Minister John Manley (have you seen his picture...he's a bit of a dork!) has publicly dissed the dear old Queen..AND I DON'T MEAN QUENTIN CRISP! Yep, good ol' Liz who's never done a lick of harm to anyone other than giving birth.

And BOY...I'll bet she just LOVES coming all the way to Canada...she gets a chance to inspect what's left of our military (there's only seven actual soldiers, the rest are in the reserves, or in jail for smoking dope)

She gets to be made an honorary First Nations' Princess for about the umpteenth time, and has to spend time with our Prime Minister Jean (pronounced 'Szjhnnnn') Cretin, who is imcomprehensible in BOTH official languages!

If that's not bad enough, they put her at centre ice in the middle of a hockey game and Wayne Gretsky knocked out her upper-plate with a slap shot. Boy, right about now I'll bet she wishes Fergie hadn't fucked up so badly and could do some of these "Loyalty to the Commonwealth Geriatrics" tours.

Oh well...if it's between me and Celine Dion, I guess I'll become king...we don't want Clinton Hammond gettin' that kind of power! But just one request from my Royal majesty....can you give that sheep-wimp Tony Blair a kick in the ass and tell him to show some backbone. Don't make me come over there Morty, y'hear?!

Cheers

King Richard the Turd (well that's how they'd say it Quebec!)


09 Oct 02 - 04:28 PM (#799766)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: DougR

Aye (provided he doesn't appoint only liberals to the Court)!

DougR


09 Oct 02 - 05:09 PM (#799792)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: wysiwyg

Never work. Rick is too humble-- crowns don't come that small. Of course he could always adapt one with the Sawzall. It would be wrong but he could do it.

But.... Cabinet meetings would become jams. Hm-- I'm for it.

~Susan


09 Oct 02 - 07:03 PM (#799876)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: katlaughing

AYE!! Then he can invade the US using sound waves and take over the White House!!! All hail, King Ricky the T'ird!


09 Oct 02 - 07:33 PM (#799905)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Morticia

Told 'ya it was a good idea......now then your Kingship, what's your first decree( aside from the Blair thing and I'm way ahead of you there.....if only my face wasn't on so many posters in the post office, I could do it too)?


09 Oct 02 - 07:36 PM (#799910)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: MMario

not to worry - after all his cabinet would probably be the firm of Fielding, Lane, Patterson and Swan - Layabouts at Large - which means they would get even less done then a normal political body. (But they would do less so much better!)


09 Oct 02 - 10:42 PM (#800056)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Little Hawk

Ah! That must have been Peter T. in the fishnet stockings and slit skirt and green lipstick trying to flag me down on Church Street. I wondered about the hairy legs and knobby knees...I just kept driving. If I'd known it was Peter I would've given him a ride. Too bad. Toronto is definitely getting weirder all the time.

- LH


09 Oct 02 - 11:08 PM (#800062)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: wysiwyg

Your Majesty,

Plans are complete for the takeover of the USA at dawn; I accept your offer of Hawaii as recompense for the risks I took in your name.

~Ssssh!


09 Oct 02 - 11:29 PM (#800067)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Bobert

This just in:

Touch that crown and Bush is gonna nuke ya'... Awwww, jus funnin', Rick! Hey, go fir it! Be nice to have a benevolent king... We sure had out share of the bad 'enz.

Hey, nice thing about crowns is that, unlike ball caps, ya can'tr get 'em backwards...

Bobert


09 Oct 02 - 11:33 PM (#800071)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Rick Fielding

I've been thinking of some of the fun times I had with Little John Cameron when we were on the road with The Sons of Erin.....my gawd that was over thirty years ago! He loves this kind of humour (he called it "takin' the piss") We tried to reach him in the hospital, but as Frank said in the other thread, that may not be possible anymore. Sorry to be a downer in your fun thread Morty....it'll pass, and I DO think I'd make a better head Canadian Poohbah than the self-agrandising jerk who's there now.

Who, me HATE politicians? Nahhhhhhhhh.

Yes Mario, if Lane, Patterson and Swan had the energy, I WOULD invite them here to 'Americanize' the True North. Suspect we'd spend most of the time sittin' in the garden, makin' up four part harmony to Neil Young songs though.

Susan. Hawaii is yours. learn to play it's official State instrument, and you can star in a re-make of "Cool Hand Uke".

Cheers

Rick


10 Oct 02 - 01:14 AM (#800116)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Marion

Re: has MTed shot one of his students for playing a bad F chord (no, that was me)....

Now we see the violence inherent in the system!


10 Oct 02 - 03:08 AM (#800142)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: alanabit

I reckon that making the king a folk singer is a really devious way of getting the general public to ignore the monarchy. It's certainly the smartest republican plot of my lifetime!


10 Oct 02 - 07:54 AM (#800239)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: wysiwyg

May I use a BANJO uke sir? If not, perhaps I might belly dance till the sea cows come home.

A toast to Queen Duckboots!

~S~


10 Oct 02 - 08:52 AM (#800268)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Peter T.

Apart from the transvestite remark, which I will ignore, except to remark that a man who casts such loving gazes on sheep should be careful with his offhand remarks, I think Rick would make an excellent king. Unlike Prince Charles, he doesn't seem to talk to plants, unless you count some of his lesser students in that category. He needs to put on some more weight, however -- he is still well under the magisterial embonpoint that one requires to fill out such a position. I would certainly like to see his face on the currency.


yours, Peter T.


10 Oct 02 - 10:59 AM (#800346)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Little Hawk

The idea of putting Rick's face on Canadian currency is an inspired one. I figure the $20 bill is the way to go on that one. Imagine! Every time ya go to the bank machine, there is Rick's smilin' face lookin' right atcha! Wow...

Hmmm. Gotta check out that store near Brunswick & College now.

- LH


10 Oct 02 - 11:22 AM (#800371)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: InOBU

Problem is... that as a (the?) God of Folk music, wouldn't King be a step down???? Hmmmmmmm... what would I do with my Rick Fielding shrine?
;-)
Larry


10 Oct 02 - 11:32 AM (#800383)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Fortunato

Rick's face on a $20 bill? Jaasus, talk about devaluing the currency! The economy would be in the crapper, then. And think of what inflation would do to him. Flatulence is seldom welcome in a head (or ass) of state. He's better off where he is mucking about in his basement where the saintly Heather can keep her eye on him.


10 Oct 02 - 12:43 PM (#800430)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Naemanson

As written and sung by one of Rick's fellow Canadians. I really like the next to the last verse.

TOO STUPID FOR DEMOCRACY
By Eileen McGann

Oh I think we're just too stupid for democracy.
Whoever thought majorities should rule?
I think we're just too stupid for democracy.
Show me a mirror, I'll show you a fool.

Think of the majority of people that you meet:
Do you think that their opinions should be law?
Well, if you're like the majority, you think the rest are nuts
Thus democracy reveals a fatal flaw.

Think about the average uncultivated field:
There's twenty-thousand weeds for every flower.
And over in the corner where manure's piled high
You'll find the weeds who want to be in power.

And every four or five years they will play a little game
Saying: "You can pick your leader - take your choice."
And they throw us out a line which we swallow every time
And that's the end of having any voice.

Oh, I think we're just too stupid for democracy.
The democratic world is under curse.
I think we're just too stupid for democarcy
Though all of the alternatives are worse:

Dictatorship is full of nasty people who will shoot you
Plutocracy is likewise full of sharpers who will loot you
Oligarchy's full of snobs who snag all the important jobs
Monarchy is kind of fun but still I think its day is done
Communistic theory's fine but put in practice every time
It turns from nice to nasty and I don't think it would suit you.
Which leaves us meritocracy
Which always sounded good to me...

Folksingers in the government and all the laws must rhyme
Folksingers in the government, oh we'll have such a time!
Jamming about policy and singing party line...but...
Maybe your ideas of merit aren't the same as mine...

Oh I think we're just too stupid for democracy
The democratic world is under curse
I think we're just too stupid for democracy
Though all of the alternatives, all of the alternatives
All of the alternatives are worse!


10 Oct 02 - 01:16 PM (#800457)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Little Hawk

I've actually had discussions with Eileen where I suggested that, no, there are some alternatives that are better...it's just that no one has had the vision to try them yet. At least not lately anyway.

I believe the problem is that money runs the system. Now, if Rick's face were on the money, that would be a small improvement, but only tinkering with a beast that is already very ill.

- LH


10 Oct 02 - 01:31 PM (#800471)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Jerry Rasmussen

You've got my vote, Rick... but can you vote for a King?

Jerry


10 Oct 02 - 02:02 PM (#800494)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Bert

He is.

Well around here anyway.


11 Oct 02 - 04:25 AM (#800897)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: Hrothgar

Won't it be simpler to teach Prince Charlie to play guitar?


11 Oct 02 - 06:51 AM (#800936)
Subject: RE: BS: Rick Fielding for King?
From: alanabit

No. It wouldn't be simpler to teach Charlie Flap Ears anything.