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01 Nov 02 - 03:29 PM (#816269) Subject: Osama who? From: John MacKenzie Subject: FW: Bin Laden From: Bin Laden, Osama To: All Al Queda Fighters Subject: The Cave Do Not Distribute Outside The Organisation. Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns: First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota .have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster). Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks. Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying. Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks. Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain. Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.) Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave. Love you lots, Group Hug. Os. PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore. Giok |
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01 Nov 02 - 03:39 PM (#816278) Subject: RE: Osama who? From: allanwill Nice one Giok. Let's put Slimy Bin Liner into the garbage where he belongs. Allan |
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01 Nov 02 - 04:06 PM (#816292) Subject: RE: Osama who? From: Little Hawk I can really relate to the frustration Osama must be feeling regarding slipshod housekeeping by his cave-mates. It must also be very frustrating facing the realization that most of the world's population is more frightened of George Bush than they are of him! Discouraging is what I'd call that. For group toilets that hold up under even the most severe conditions, I'd like to recommend McGill Porta-Pottys, manufactured in Orillia, Ontario, Canada. They come in two lovely colors, are recycleable and virtually unbreakable. We also have about 50 or so of those Osama Bin-Lookalike robots that don't work anymore for sale. Cheap! Contact the maintenance crew at the WSSBA. - LH |
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01 Nov 02 - 04:34 PM (#816316) Subject: RE: Osama who? From: greg stephens Thanks, Glok, a classic. Particularly the Dairylea, I just took advantage of my healthy-eating other half being away, and bought myself some Dairylea and had a sandwich for lunch. Until reading your post I was completely unaware I shared this taste with the legendary Osama. |
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01 Nov 02 - 07:26 PM (#816430) Subject: RE: Osama who? From: Bobert Speaking of sharing, Gregster, I believe that Bush has used Osoma's story about one particular Texas goat, but I've heard that that "particular goat" wasn't backing up, but, hey, Texas frat boys will be... ahhhh... Texas frat boys... Bobert |
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02 Nov 02 - 07:55 AM (#816725) Subject: RE: BS: Osama who? From: GUEST Napalm makes a good antiseptic cleaner Ossy mate. I know several people who would gladly deliver free to any cave you infest. |
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02 Nov 02 - 02:32 PM (#816981) Subject: RE: BS: Osama who? From: Little Hawk So THAT's where Dave went! Well, I hope he knows what he's doing... - LH |