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06 Dec 02 - 02:48 PM (#842522) Subject: BS: New Joke From: EBarnacle1 Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'I was on my way home from Thanksgiving last week when this occurred to me: Why do we eat turkey at Thanksgiving? Because the vegetarians hated venison. Anyone else have a new stinker to add? |
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06 Dec 02 - 04:23 PM (#842585) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: Amos I'm not sure I get it, though.... A |
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06 Dec 02 - 04:36 PM (#842591) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: Rustic Rebel Thanks for saying that A, I guess I'm a little slow on that one too. Ok I was just making up some Christmas cards and this came to me I just heard the other day, someone saying Santa is a happy fairy. Now I don't think that is the proper thing to be saying on Christmas, Do You? I think what they meant to say is...Santa is a gay elf. My sickness revealed. On the back I put This card was made for the insane,by the insane. Bah-Humbug Productions tm. don't forget to shop walmart(those japanese little merchandise carrier son-of -a-bitches) I am into the SPIRIT!! Love and Peace, Rustic |
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06 Dec 02 - 04:39 PM (#842593) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: catspaw49 No RR....You're into the spirits I think.....As is EB up there with that ............uh..............well, I hesitate to call it a joke, but, uh.............Whatever it is (and it may be a lot of things), if it's funny (and it may well be), I don't get it either............ Spaw |
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06 Dec 02 - 04:46 PM (#842601) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: GUEST Where's the joke? Right up there with that great old English- Carrots in the ears, you know! |
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06 Dec 02 - 04:54 PM (#842609) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: Rustic Rebel Spaw, you always make me laugh. So the carrots in the ears?Is that the one... A guy goes into the Dr.s and he's got carrots sticking out of his ears and radishes in his nose and he asks the Dr. what's wrong with him. the Dr. says you haven't been eating right. That one? rustic on the sause |
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06 Dec 02 - 05:54 PM (#842644) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: Uncle_DaveO Santa Resigns T'was the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year. Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--NO request for them, They want computers and robots..Like I'm IBM! Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job..there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment. There's no Christmas this year Now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season! |
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06 Dec 02 - 07:14 PM (#842688) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: Gareth And yet verily, it was the fist day back at school after the Xmas holidays and the teacher was talking to the class. "Now Johhny (a protestent) - What did you do on Xmas Day ?" And Johnny said "We went to Church, sag some carols and then went home to unwrap the presents." "Now Patrick (a catholic)- what did you and your family do ?" "Well we went to mass, sung some Carols, and went home to open the resents !" "Now Isaaac, (a hebrew)- What did you do ?" "Well we went to my Uncles Toy shop, saw all the empty shelf's, and sung "What a friend we have in Jesus !" Gareth |
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07 Dec 02 - 07:28 AM (#842945) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: banjomad (inactive) NEWSFLASH. 'a two seater light airplane has crashed in a cemetary just outside Dublin, so far emergency services have recovered the remains of 267 bodies.' peace and love, Dave |
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07 Dec 02 - 08:10 AM (#842962) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: gnu I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a girl a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important. |
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07 Dec 02 - 08:41 AM (#842974) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: ballpienhammer why does it take loger to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to scoop out the head. |
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07 Dec 02 - 08:58 AM (#842979) Subject: RE: BS: New Joke From: GUEST,daylia The other day I was introducing one of my beginning piano students to the wonders of music theory. She's only six, so I took my time explaining the staff, the treble clef and the bass clef while she listened intently. When I finished, I pointed to the treble clef and to review, asked her "Now do you remember what this is called?" A look of intense concentration came over her face as she tried to read the words written over the symbol. Then, beaming triumphantly, she turned to me and said "It's the TERRIBLE clef!!!" I loved it! I've heard it called the "trouble" clef before, but never the "terrible" clef! Maybe she'll grow up to be a folk musician ... Yours musically - daylia |