|
14 Dec 02 - 04:09 AM (#847203) Subject: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing I have become a crusader of sorts in urging people to let go of stress as much as possible. It seems to me, from my own experience, and that of others, that we all take on much more stress, including what I call spillover stress, that which comes from family and other people, than is good for anyone. This seems especially true in these interesting times. For my own well-being, I am much more quiet now if I feel a personal boundary of protection against the spillover effect has been breached. I don't respond as much as deflect, change the subject, etc. So...how are your stress levels these days and how are you coping with them? Thanks, kat |
|
14 Dec 02 - 05:46 AM (#847232) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bassic Not good at the moment Kat. Thanks for the reminder. This stuff sneaks up on you and before you notice that it is having an effect on you. It can be mental, physical or both. I think the secret is not to have walls. Let it come, flow through, but most importantly flow OUT again. Its holding on to "stuff" (especialy that of loved ones), that eats away at personal resources. Its the un-noticed accumulation of stresses that tends to "get me". Suddenly, you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Thats the time to take action. Leave it there for long and damage results. Now for the tough bit. How do you make sure you let it go? Anyone got any usefull tips, strategies? To me it is not acceptable just to say, "dont let it in in the first place". I am not that kind of person. Most of us want to help. But how do we do that without damaging ourselfs in the process? I have managed to develop some mental strategies to stop the "treadmill" of mental stress and I thought I was dealing with it well, but as I have recently found out, my physical body often makes its own decisions and is now starting to show the effects!! Any friendly advice would be welcome. |
|
14 Dec 02 - 06:10 AM (#847236) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: AllisonA(Animaterra) There's "good" stress and "bad" stress, but even the good stress can accumulate too much! I'm currently living a life that resembles a diet consisting entirely of double-fudge chocolate cake- rich and full, delicious and wonderful, but not all that good for you!Sometimes I just wish for a salad and a glass of water! Singing helps a lot, taking time to take a walk, a bath, or snuggle with a cat and an cup of tea and a good book. Those times are few! As for spillover stress, I think Bassic is on the right track of letting it flow, and I try to respond with positive energy, which often requires a long pause and several deep breaths before opening my mouth! |
|
14 Dec 02 - 03:11 PM (#847423) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bat Goddess I really felt I had everything well in hand before Thanksgiving -- now I'm starting to feel over-extended and a time pinch. I'm slogging away at holiday cards (which I actually designed last year, but didn't get printed until very late November), and right this minute I should be packaging up my mother's gift to mail to Milwaukee -- getting that ready to go (or rather NOT getting it ready) has been keeping an undercurrent of stress in my life. Mostly making lists and checking things off the lists. It's not just holiday things, but I'm trying to get preliminary stuff going for a new p/t ad sales job (and my employer and I haven't actually worked out all the details yet), and an old client I thought was going to close up shop earlier in the year wants me not only to do some more print work for her, but be involved in her website, at least in an advisory capacity because she loves the clean-ness of my design work (and all that's GOOD) -- but that means I have to learn A LOT more about web design and I need to learn it NOW. And despite all the scrambling, there's not a lot of cash coming in right now to keep body and soul together. And that's stressful even if one's not actively thinking about it (how AM I going to pay for the blood sugar monitor for my cat?!?). Singing DOES help. And snuggling with the cats (one of whom is diabetic and we're still working on getting his blood sugar regulated -- more stress -- and the other one is trying to clean her muddy, wet paws on my leg & lap right now). Gotta go make the Scotch shortbread for the party tomorrow, finish packaging my mother's package, get the tree up, bring in firewood, get some more cards addressed, change the bed, do laundry, and, oh, yeah, check my list and see exactly what it is the list says I should be doing! Breathe, Linn, breathe! Linn |
|
14 Dec 02 - 03:40 PM (#847437) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: SINSULL I thought I had none or hadn't allowed any. But today I realized that Christmas is about a week away and I haven't bought a gift or mailed a card except for my Secret Santa. So I guess I will be celebrating New Year's this year. And, as expected given my history, my new home has sprung a leak. So I will be having nightmares for a month about living on Noah's ark. Meantime, I have plugged it with two rolls of paper towels. The joy of home ownership begins...gale winds, drenching rains, and a window that isn't. Could be worse - it could be snow. My son is in trouble again. I wait and remind myself that I can and should do nothing both for his sake and mine. Why doesn't it get any easier? So to answer your question: yes, I have stress. All of it is "normal" and I will deal with it. Nothing I can't handle. And nothing that changes my mind about this being the happiest time I have ever known. And, although I am amazed at my own callousness, I do not let other peoples' stress in. Mary |
|
14 Dec 02 - 04:23 PM (#847449) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bat Goddess Duct tape, Sinsull! Duct tape! Much more efficient than paper towels -- and it comes in holiday colors! Just finished packaging Mom's gift, making 2 batches of shortbread (one for us), and keeping my butter freak cat away from said shortbread. Just getting the cards out to work on those. It's now pouring out and it's too dark in the cellar (despite the lights in the wrong places) to find the tree stand. Just looked for the florist's foam to put the holly in the Pan head, but it isn't where I thought I put it. I see a long bath with a book and a margarita, a nice dinner (quesadillas), and watching "Amelie" in my near future! As of tomorrow, Tom and I will have known each other for 22 years -- and we've been married (as of last June) for 20 of them. Linn |
|
14 Dec 02 - 04:40 PM (#847456) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Jeri Linn, don't worry about me at all. Another year and here I am with the usual lack of clues about what to get anyone. Don't have much money as usual or I just don't feel like I have much money because I used to have a bunch more. You want some stuff from my basement? |
|
14 Dec 02 - 07:36 PM (#847520) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bat Goddess Oh, Jeri -- you're not part of the stress at all. And part of your present I got at a yardsale (like your B.D. present -- fun, rather than expense). And like Tom and I actually NEED anything (other than the mortgage, phone & internet bills, electricity, food, firewood, software such as SoundStudio or iDataPro, health insurance -- what's that? . . .) What? You haven't found any interesting rubber squid?!? And actually, I got a lot accomplished today, so I guess I feel less stressed. Even got the holly in the head of Pan on the table. It's all the other stuff (mostly work and job related) that I need to find time for. And today I found the elusive blue photo album that I've been looking for since a friend's memorial service last February -- and found not only pictures of him for his widow, but pictures of Ed Daigle of the Fiddler's Fix (for his widow) and pictures of Jay Smith playing guitar and singing (with his eyes closed, of course) -- all from about 1981 and early 1982. Put me in a rather odd mood, though. Lost way too many friends this year. Linn |
|
14 Dec 02 - 08:37 PM (#847542) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing Thank you all for sharing; I wasn't very sure about this when I posted it. We cut out a lot of work related stress this past year when we moved to Colorado and bought our own house, thus moving out of our daughter's. What really spooked me down here was my two other sisters, the "twins" (not bet!) wreaked havoc in their own lives this summer, spending all of their money (Over $10,000!) trying to decide where to live, without having any jobs, etc. It just about drove us all nuts and there was a lot more to it than I am telling. Now, they are living not two minutes from my house, one with a job, the other with a small retirement. It was the spillover stress from their situation which was really getting to me. I am still very much on guard against it. One thing I've done is let them know Mondays are critical for me to be left alone to get my week off to a good start. I sent them a letter this summer which set some boundaries, also. And, since I work at home, I've now got a sign I hang on my door. Harking back to Victorian times when a "lady" didn't necessarily see just anyone who came calling, it says: I am in the office working on the Great American Novel or, taking a nap, whichever comes first, and, am not receiving visitors, right now. Thanks! I've also been more disciplined about not answering the phone when I am working or resting; that's been a tough one for me. BEFORE I could do any of that, though, I had to learn to say "NO" to taking on too many things in 3D life when I really needed to be taking care of myself. It took some time, but little by little I dis-encumbered myself and it feels so much better. I watched worry about others kill my mom because it was non-constructive worry about things which she could do nothing. For the first time in years, I am free of that kind of worry esp. late at night when I am trying to go to sleep. Of course, I still have concern and do worry but it is a lot more philosophical and self-nurturing than before. And, I do not feel selfish about it, as I cannot dream of helping anyone else if I cannot take care of myself. When my kids were teens and my brother was living with us, there were several times I would retreat to our bedroom, put a sign on the door which said, "I am not your mother, your wife, your sister, your cook, your chauffeur. Leave me alone!" It worked every time! Linn, I am convinced we are passing up making some decent money on ebay. I have an actor friend in Austin, TX who owns his home and lives comfortably selling steadily and consistently on ebay and getting acting bits in America's Most Wanted and other shows. After the holidays, I am going to get serious about being on there all of the time with a few items at a time; ebay that is, not AMW!! One other way we made a major dent in our stress was simplifying our daily expenses. When we moved, we went without cable tv (I know that is not what a lot of you consider a necessity, but Rog is a TV engineer and needs to see how his station is on cable:-) for several months, bought a home which actually reduced our monthly living expense, and several other things which helped. With a little more money in our account neither one of us feel as stressed. We are now working on cutting back even more, with Rog smoking less, drinking less beer, and I've quit going out for breakfast. I thought I would miss it and it seemed such a small amount each day, but when we added it up, we were spending over $300 per month between the two of us. A few months of that I might get to see my grandkids or we might be able to add on the porch we want! Anyway, those are some of the things that've worked for us. Your mileage may vary.:-) luvyakat |
|
15 Dec 02 - 12:04 AM (#847612) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Sorcha QUIT! STOP! WHO THE HELL CARES IF THE CARDS ARE MAILED OR THE TREE IS UP??? As of today, we have no tree, no pressies bought and I will NOT do cards. What a waste of time, effort, money and trees. If I don't buy presents, they know I love them. I do "stuff" all year round that tells them so. We have not had a tree up for several years, '97, I believe; the last year my mom was with us. Nobody gives a damn. I refuse to buy into the hype. Bah Humbug. Have a good Christmas, and let the crap take care of itsself!!! |
|
15 Dec 02 - 12:33 AM (#847627) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: smallpiper I understand the needs of people to deal with the stess in their lives and I hate to sound cynical (bassic knows what I mean if no one else dos) but who gives a fuck in 100 years we'll all be dead anyway. So chill out and live for today because tomorrow is probably screwed up ayway. ( wow this is not like the eternal optomist that is usually me) so chill,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I must be depressed!! |
|
15 Dec 02 - 01:00 AM (#847632) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Cluin Another good reason to get drunk this fine holiday season. |
|
15 Dec 02 - 01:28 AM (#847637) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing Well...we didn't have a tree for a few years, either, because it felt like i was the only one who cared. Today, Rog and I went to a tree farm and brought home a very humble, crooked Charlie Brown-type Scotch pine and put the lights on it, at least, and I am glad we did. It feels good and right, for now. I agree on not buying into the hype or stressing over getting cards out etc. This year I did a quick letter and was surprised at how small my card list has become. I couldn't handle getting any out over the past few years, so again, it felt good this year to do so. Not saying everyone should, though. smallpiper, by that logic why should we do anything which is meaningful? You're right...it doesn't sound like you!*bg* Hope you are better now! Thanks, again, kat |
|
15 Dec 02 - 02:31 AM (#847644) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Mudlark When overwhelmed I try to imagine what I'd say to someone I loved in the same situation, then take my own advice. I give very good self-care advice, just find it hard to live by it. Unhooking from the phone, from obligations that are not really all that important, rituals that no longer suit...can open up a lot more stress-free time in life. Sing breaks always good, but so is just listening to music, focusing on it for 20=30 minutes. Easier than meditating and almost as good for you...maybe better. No tree yet, and if things get too hectic, and I end up with no tree...well, there is always next year. I can always go out and enjoy other people's trees, decorations...excesses. Triage...figure out what is the most important, and do that...and let the rest be way lower down on the list. |
|
15 Dec 02 - 03:41 AM (#847656) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Liz the Squeak I guess Spillover is the same as Projected stress. Stress from one area of life is being "ignored" and removed to another area where it is easier to deal with. Problems at home may be so big, it's impossible to see where to start or how to resolve them, so they're taken to another place, like work. Once there, almost anything can happen to it... quite often it will expand like filler foam to take over your life. Then of course, you can't see the original problem at home or wherever, and it's like it's been dealt with. All your energy and intellect go into solving the alternative problem and reducing the stress involved in that. There is a feeling of satisfaction if it's sorted, and that gets projected back home, to the original problem. You think that once one is solved, the others are also sorted. Think again. I've been stressing out about something at work, and yes, there was a problem with a bullying manager. He's gone, the problem has gone but there is no resolution. Why? Because the original problem wasn't him. Now I know this, (Thanks Morty!) I can see about sorting the rest of it out. You think you have one major problem in your life? Take another look. Deal with them one at a time if you can, but deal with all of them sooner rather than later! And as for Seasonal stress? Trees - I spent ages driving round looking for a pot grown tree. Had an artificial tree last year and it just didn't feel right. Got myself a beautiful pot grown, lush green, slightly strange looking tree that will hopefully stay with us for a few years. In winter it's a big potted plant, in summer it will be a gorgeous addition to the garden. Provided the cats don't crap in it. Cards - I've made my own for several years now, it's been easier these last 3 since we got the scanner, but I used to paint/sew/print (potato variety) or collage my own or get Bratling to help. She loves seeing her cards in print, we have a unique card to send out and a record of how well her interpretation of Christmas trees is developing! Merry Christmas all.... ask Santa for an hour to yourself each day. It's the best thing some of us could ever wish for. LTS |
|
15 Dec 02 - 08:26 AM (#847717) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Naemanson My stress levels are nowhere near as bad as they were a few months ago. I agree that deflecting stress is a good plan. Now if I can just make it work for me all the time. |
|
15 Dec 02 - 11:58 AM (#847793) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bat Goddess Most of my stress has nothing to do with the holidays -- it's cumulative stress from this past, very stressful and still continuing, year. It's the constant scramble, struggling for something to kick in and actually work, so maybe I CAN take a coupla minutes to breathe or something. The expenses are cut back as much as they can be. My main worry is that the mortgage and house expenses are covered. Came close to losing the house a few years back -- and I don't EVER want to be in that situation again. Freelance, with or without a cobbled together succession of part time jobs, is, indeed, stressful. Literally not knowing where your next dollar is coming from and constantly hustling. And having to stay "up" so you CAN effectively sell yourself (and have the energy to look). Sometimes the strongest urge is to curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb. Unfortunately, that's not an option. Yeah, eBay has to be a methodical and regular way to get rid of the "clutter" around here that is actually "stock." And there are other, more local outlets. And I even sold a paperback on Amazon lately! (Although the other books I currently have up there haven't sold.) I really don't need to live in a warehouse. The stuff accumulated for resale, so it really needs to be SOLD. Anyway, I like having a live tree -- even if I'm not planning any holiday gatherings or guests. I need something symbolically green to encourage me through the dark season of the year. Because I'm not planning on entertaining, I'm not doing any baking. Almost all the gifts I'm giving came from yardsales where I was purchasing stock (well, that's my rationalization -- actually, I just really enjoy the "thrill of the chase") so they didn't cost much. I'm a graphic designer, so sending out a card I designed and produced is marketing as well as a way to keep in touch with people. I need a midwinter celebration -- and I keep celebrating through to Robert Burns' birthday on January 25th. Linn |
|
15 Dec 02 - 01:18 PM (#847829) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bill D I think I live in a perpetual state of "Being nibbled to death by ducks"...but some of the ducks are bigger than others...*wry grin* 3 days ago the clothes dryer finally quit...because the fuse will no longer make contact in the old, decrepit socket They no longer make the type of "fuse panels" I was using......the solution? a complete electrical service upgrade at about $2500. Then there are the pinhole leaks in copper piping that pop open occasionally, and the water heater that was installed with a plastic dip-tube that is deteriorating so that it allows little white particles to clog the faucet filters. (This was part of a class action lawsuit a couple years ago, but we never heard about it, and it has now expired...so, facing $200-$400 to repair/replace water heater. And one toilet that needs a $3 new internal part, but is an old off-brand that will require total change-over of it's workings, as they don't MAKE the part to fit this type......add to this the ever present drainage problems on one side of the house which perodically allow a little river in my workshop ...and the attic air conditioner which developed a leak a few years back and required new dry-wall and a plastic box under the leak , with a submersible pump from Sears to pump the leaking water out....(The leaking roof was finally replaced a few years ago..) Those nibbling ducks? They may soon ne able to swim in our basement, if all the water issues are not resolved. ...and Noah thought HE had water problems! |
|
15 Dec 02 - 02:46 PM (#847860) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Morticia Mmmmmm, I'm beginning to wonder if the Gods have decided I need a high level of stress to function.Seems I resolve one thing and another pops it's head over the parapet.Having survived the break up of my marriage ( still new and strange but okay-ish), running my department on virtually no staff and a manager who doesn't understand the question let alone the answer,health problems that just seem to keep on 'giving',my son getting himself into very hot water and now evicted and the dubious 'joys' of Christmas, I'm about ready to scream/hibernate/run away to join a circus/all of the above. High on my wish list this year is that things would calm down just long enough to let me catch my breath. |
|
15 Dec 02 - 02:47 PM (#847862) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bill D and I almost forgot... my van has had continuous problems (which almost messed up the Getaway) and my front porch/sidewalk is sinking (more water problems) and we have lost or are losing several nice trees in the yard. wait....I have it!!.....a little known and barely understood physical phenomenon is at the root of all this! You all know about El Niño, which causes temporary weather problems in certain areas? Well, the same thing occurs with **Entropy**. Yes, my friends, I am unfortunatly living in an eddy where there is excess of Entropy! Perhaps it puddles at the bottom of the hills we live between and drainage is bad. In any case, I am solicting names for the situation (Like El Niño for weather) so that I may submit a request for study and be delared an "Entropic Disaster Area" and receive federal grants for rebuilding! I know that Mudcat's great communal mind can help me with this. |
|
15 Dec 02 - 10:37 PM (#848073) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing Move to higher ground, Bill, quick!! Or, well, lezsee, name, huh? Well, it's gotta be a boy name if'n it's el ninO, so howzzabout
Really, I am sorry to hear about your troubles and I hope you are able to get them worked out, soon! |
|
16 Dec 02 - 11:34 AM (#848192) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bill D Yep...we had an elderly cat a number of years ago who just walked out the kitchen door and didn't come back...she had always been an outdoors lady, and decided she wanted to do it her way, I guess.......and cats don't always consult humans about their plans. Well, I hope Lady Joy and old Princess are telling cat stories to each other on a cozy pillow somewhere...dang 'em anyhow for letting us get so attached to 'em! (and I 'spects we will have to stay here in our entropic valley and, like the Red Queen said, "... run ever so fast just to stay in the same place.") |
|
16 Dec 02 - 12:01 PM (#848204) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: KingBrilliant A friend of mine claims to feel a whole lot happier now, since she decided that what she has no control over she should not get stressed about. That makes a lot of sense. As regards letting OUT the stress that flowed in, how about a bit of visualisation. I visualise wrapping the stressful thoughts up in clingfilm & throwing it out of a window in my head. Though mind tricks like that have a habit of getting out of control, when you have to start thinking up elaborate reasons for why the parcel can't just fly back in the window again. Actually - maybe not such a good idea after all. Deep breaths maybe? |
|
16 Dec 02 - 12:29 PM (#848228) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: GUEST,maire-aine at work I'm managing my stress levels pretty well right now. My 92 yr old Mother lives with me, and she has Alzheimers, so that is a stress that is pretty much permanent. But I have 2 wonderful ladies from the Assisted Living agency who take care of her while I'm at work. I also schedule a Mom-sitter for Friday and Saturday nights, so I can go out and play music or hang out with friends. That's very important. One great way to reduce stress, I've found, is to keep a journal. I write in mine for about 15 minutes every night before I go to bed. I use it to make notes about Mom's condition, record significant things that happened, and to VENT feelings about whatever is bugging me. That way I get everying down on paper instead of losing sleep by replaying every nuance of an event, whether good or bad. As for the holiday, I have my Christmas card list in an excel spreadsheet and I use it to print labels. If I didn't, nobody would get any cards. I usually stay home for Thanksgiving, so I write the cards some time during the day. Also, I schedule a week's vacation during the first week of December, and whatever holiday stuff I'm going to do, gets done then. I baked 5 kinds of cookies this year, for the first time in a dozen years, just because I wanted to. I've decided not to put up a tree this year, because it's too much work to put up and take down. I did decorate the house with wreaths and garlands of greenery, though. I'll be staying home on Christmas, and I'll put the roast in the oven and then light a fire in the fireplace, put my feet up, and watch "Shrek" again. Nollaig shona daoibh, Maryanne |
|
16 Dec 02 - 01:45 PM (#848292) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Morticia Today the stress fairy brought me abcess.....is some Deity taking the piss, do we think? |
|
17 Dec 02 - 12:42 AM (#848660) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing Maybe only regionally, Mortee? I am sorry to hear your news, but it seems Bast, at least, may have been working overtime over here. I am pleased to report that the cat I had given up on has miraculously survived a cold night dodging teens and other in cars at a McDonald's drive-through more than an hour away from home, in another town!! My sister drove up there three times today, based on phone calls we received from people saying they'd seen her cat. This last time the call came from a worker at McD's who said the cat she saw was only coming out at night. As I said, the cat is old, blind, and not in the best of health. My sisters went back up there, after work, to look for her based on that last call. She was nowhere in sight. This is the kind of cat that hides when scared and won't come out even for food or her person. They were getting ready to leave and decided to check one more place in the parking lot. Just as they went over there, they saw her run to the drive through lane and freeze when they called her. She then let my sister pick her up. It was Lady Joy! As it turns out, they had gone through the drive-up just before they went to the rest stop, yesterday, where they thought they'd lost her. Now, we think she probably got out at McD's and had been at there all along. I am also pleased to say my sister has learned her lesson. Despite the cat's protestations, she will now travel IN a kennel, no matter what! This is one of those rare times I'd call a Pure Dee Miracle! Thanks, BillD, for your comments. katsinging&laughing&givingthanks |
|
17 Dec 02 - 08:16 AM (#848803) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Bat Goddess Fantastic, Kat! Give Lady Joy a cuddle for me! Linn |
|
17 Dec 02 - 09:14 AM (#848845) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: GUEST,maire-aine at work SO GLAD to hear about your happy ending. Give her a cuddle for me, too. |
|
17 Dec 02 - 09:28 AM (#848854) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: KingBrilliant Kat - I'm dead chuffed about your sister's cat! Glad they found her safe & sound. Kris |
|
17 Dec 02 - 09:36 AM (#848864) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: MMario |
|
17 Dec 02 - 09:51 AM (#848880) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Morticia great news, I'm so pleased!! |
|
17 Dec 02 - 10:23 AM (#848904) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: katlaughing Thanks, ya'll!! |
|
17 Dec 02 - 10:49 AM (#848931) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: smallpiper You were right Kat but I'm okay now thanks. Still in need of a holiday though. Bassic you going to the Sloop tonight? |
|
17 Dec 02 - 11:10 AM (#848943) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Amos Bill D: Been there -- you're bound for a new water heater, may's well get it done. Stress comes from two sources. One's own stress comes from trying to view things from two places at once -- your own actual viewpoint and the view of all your borrowed machinery of supposed to's and consensuses and such that you feel you have to carry around to monitor your own viewpoint from -- the perspectives of parents, pastors, neighbors, long-departed professors, wicked stepmothers, and god-knows-who-else. The other source of stress is obsessively copying the stressful pictures offered to you by others, in order to share their stress or in order to keep you worried and afraid. Sticking to your own true and present center will cut away stress in slabs. That's the only place from which you cantruly see what the actual problem is, if there is one at all -- and it makes any problem pretty clear and directly accessible to handling. 'Course you have to decide to discontinue the sometimes-obsessive copying. A |
|
17 Dec 02 - 11:25 AM (#848949) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Amos ANother viewpoint, received this morning: The Station (adapted from a poem by Robert Hastings) Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the window we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at the crossing, of cattle grazing a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flat lands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls. But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there, so many wonderful dreams will come true and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering-waiting for the station. -"When we reach the station, that will be it!" -" When I'm 50 years old, that will be it." - "When I have put the last child through college……" - " When I have paid off the mortgage…" - "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after!" Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at, once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out-distances us. "Relish the moment" is a good motto. It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets and fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today. So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough. |
|
17 Dec 02 - 01:23 PM (#849042) Subject: RE: BS: TFTD - Spillover Stress - 14 Dec. 2002 From: Noreen OK, Amos, have a look at this thread from 2 years ago: NotMusic: I'd pick more daisies.... I was reminded of the daisies in mudchat last night; and it did me good to be reminded. Still dealing with the stresses, kat, with help from friends :0) |