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09 Jul 98 - 12:33 AM (#32132) Subject: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: Kiwi Can't remember who does this bit, but here y'go, Eric. Slán, Kiwi "Wet Dream" (spoken, except the choruses) It was April the forty-first, being a quadruple leap year. I was driving in downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was overheating. So I pulled into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said "fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?" While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar, a real dive. But I knew the owner - he used to play for the Dolphins. I said, "Hi Gill!" You hafta yell, he's hard of herring. Chorus: Think I had a wet dream, grooving through the Gulf stream, ooh, ooh ooh-ooh Wet dream... Gill was also down on his luck. Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the sand bar. He poured me the usual - rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred.. with a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwish on the side, heavy on the mako. I slipped him a fin - on porpoise, I was feeling good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids.. for the halibut. Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal. What sole! Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna - Simon chanted evening. And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the bass (short a)player. One of them was this cute little yellowtail, and she's giving me the eye. So I figure this is my chance for a little fun.. you know, a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom. She was too deep. She seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy, could she drink. She drank like a- she drank a lot. I said, "What's your sign." She said, "Aquarium." I said, "Great, let's get tanked!" Chorus I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said, 'C'mon, baby, only take a few minnows." She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight, I got a haddock." And she wasn't kiddin' either, because in came the biggest, meanest haddock I'd ever seen coming down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said, "Listen shrimp, don't you come trolling around here." What a crab. This guy was steamed, I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him, I said, "Ah, baloney! You're just being shellfish!" Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gill, because he was already on the phone to the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said, "forget the cods, Gill, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon." Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me, she said, "Hey, big boy. You're really a game fish. What's your name." I said, "Marlon." Chorus Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner, I took her to dance. I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with her. And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams. Chorus out |
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30 Apr 02 - 02:13 PM (#701300) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: GUEST,moongrapx@aol.com this is done by kip addotta...i have the song if anyone would like it let me know great fun |
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30 Apr 02 - 07:09 PM (#701553) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: michaelr Surely it should be "Salmon chanted evening", not "Simon"... LOL! Michael |
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30 Apr 02 - 07:19 PM (#701562) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: michaelr ...and "Marlin", not "Marlon". Kiwi, do you also have "The Candy Rapper"? |
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01 May 02 - 03:17 PM (#702276) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: EBarnacle1 Is this by the same peck o'clams who did "Lobster and never Flounder?" |
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02 May 02 - 01:34 AM (#702610) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: Stephen L. Rich "I Lobster and Never Flounder" was Pinkard and Bowden if I'm not mistaken. stephen |
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02 May 02 - 04:59 AM (#702706) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: GUEST,An Pluiméir Ceolmhar Brill! |
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03 May 02 - 11:56 AM (#703661) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: GUEST,Declan What a load of Pollocks :->) |
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03 May 02 - 01:50 PM (#703743) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: Dead Horse Prefer Sid Kipper myself |
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03 May 02 - 02:13 PM (#703764) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: Clinton Hammond The only good pun, is no pun... |
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29 May 02 - 02:53 PM (#719661) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: bbgirl I would like to have the song if you could send it to me. It has beeen many years since I've heard it. Thanks! |
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29 May 02 - 08:46 PM (#719893) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: GUEST,alkcarro@aol.com Please send the song to me or let me know where I can find it'Thanks |
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30 May 02 - 09:05 PM (#720531) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: michaelr So who's got The Candy Rapper? Michael |
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17 Jun 02 - 01:12 PM (#731510) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: GUEST,matomand` Help me - I can't find out who recorded "Wet Dreams". First heard on Dr. Demento years ago! I'd like to find the tape/cd |
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18 Jun 02 - 12:33 AM (#731972) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: Metchosin Wet Dream is a 1984 track, by Kip Addotta, (Laff 320) and can be found on the 1991 CD, "Dr. Demento's Greatest Novelty Records of All Time" (Rhino R2-70743). |
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18 Jun 02 - 02:49 AM (#732014) Subject: RE: Wet Dream (re: Musical Puns) From: michaelr Metchosin, I'm dying here...;-) - is The Candy Rapper on that disc, as well? Michael |